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Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool.
    #8967374 -

I work with the dumbest human being on the face of the earth. I'm talking so unbelievably dumb, that I am surprised daily when she makes it into work alive. Every single day I get asked some absurdly simple question, so I am going to start compiling them here.

Enjoy:grin:


9/22/08

Co-worker: (On the ground, using a paper trimmer with a built in ruler, and grid system) I'm cutting this page in half, how big is that?

Me: The page is 11 x 8in

Co-worker: So how much is that?

Me: Just place the corner of the page exactly at half of 11in, and it will cut it perfectly.

Co-worker: But what is half of 11?

Me: :foreheadslap: Its 5 1/2in.........So why are you an the ground?

Co-worker: Cause its to hard to push down on the handle.

Me: Why don't you just use less paper?

Co-worker:.........oh? LEAVE ME ALONE, I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!









Ill keep updating this thread, do you have any stories of your own?


--------------------
The Prophecy!

Learn To Code

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: blewmeanie]
    #8967383 -

wow that is insane how does this person still have the job?


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SMOKE MARIJUANA

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: Mushr00m_Man]
    #8967389 -

Mushr00m_Man said:
wow that is insane how does this person still have the job?


Shes 5'1, blond, skinny with a huge ass, and acts like an innocent little christian southern girl.


--------------------
The Prophecy!

Learn To Code

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: blewmeanie]
    #8967399 -

I worked with a 20-something woman a few years ago, and it seemed as though she had been living in a cave for most of her life.  She was completely unaware that the U.S. and other countries had nuclear weapons which could effectively wipe out most of the living things on the planet.  She was unaware of global climate change, pollution, clear-cutting of rainforests, and the constant extinction of species due to human mismanagement of the environment.

Almost every day, I would say something which I took to be common knowledge, and she would react to it as though it was breaking news.  :lol:  I think I shook up her world in a major way during the two years we were co-workers.

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: blewmeanie]
    #8967467 -

Thats good stuff lol.


I work at the audio-visual department of my community college and its a genuine office environment, which i now believe are directly responsible for making dumb people dumber. Few examples i recall from last semester:

Me an a coworker (25 yr old guy) are moving computer monitors and counting them. There is a pile forming with 3 rows of 4 monitors. He starts counting them. I say that there are 12... He still counts them just in case i'm wrong... :rolleyes: Then we add a few more to the pile. Hes gotta count it all over again.......

Another time we are putting up signs outside for this event. Me, him, and another guy in his 30's. When taping the signs up on these fold-out boards, i must have said 5 times that putting two identical signs with arrows pointing forward on both sides of the same board might be confusing to passers-by. There was a woman around too, who was one of the organizers. No one had any idea what i was talking about, so they just didn't respond. Then we went out to put the sign up, which proved a bit difficult in terms of the direction of the arrow, but noone could figure out what i was talking about.


There are many more times like these.


--------------------
/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks.
May His Circuits Ever Function

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: The_Ghost]
    #8967656 -

i used to work in a kitchen washing dishes.. don't laugh.
well anyway.

my bos hierd this new guy on dishes and he had been there a couple days but hadn't been working with him and then one day i had to.
heres how it went...

so there is 2 side to the dish line,
if anyone doesn't know theres one person rinseing and loading,
the other person drys and puts them away.

so i was always the one washing and loading because i was the fastest.
and so on this day i was working with the new guy.

im going as fast as i can washing and loading the machine and hes just sitting there stareing at whatever.
and so i was pretty much doing his shit for him..
cuz i usually don't speak up to people...
but after about an hour of him just sitting there.

i said.

"you know you can open the machine and put them away right?.."

and he says to me.

"oh.. i didn't know that was my responsiblitly."

...


--------------------
open your heart to the Love.
                                          open your mind to the Dream.

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: McMoney]
    #8967680 -

Lazy stupid motherfucker...


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"Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping.

deCypher said:
Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: McMoney]
    #8967683 -

Its like everyone is just off in their own little world, and they cant be bothered to do anything unless you tell them explicitly step by step what to do.


--------------------
The Prophecy!

Learn To Code

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: blewmeanie]
    #8967817 -

:popcorn:

can't wait for more updates

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: norml840]
    #8967821 -

norm...
when i first saw your avatar.

i pee'd alittle


--------------------
open your heart to the Love.
                                          open your mind to the Dream.

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: blewmeanie]
    #8967829 -

Co-worker:  "Hey, do you know where one of those ones things are that you put the stuff in"

Me: (I observe the surrounding and see she had been sweeping), "you mean a dustpan?"

Co-worker: "yeah that is it, where is it?"

Me: "right behind you"


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---------------------------------------------------
Sit up and meditate, there's no time to contemplate.
-------------------------------------------------
I have an international Hitech Psytrance project with a friend: BioChronic
I make various form of Psytrance as a solo Project Dendriform

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: McMoney]
    #8967832 -

hideous, isn't she.

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: Psy Baba]
    #8967844 -

DuNeRaVeR said:
Co-worker:  "Hey, do you know where one of those ones things are that you put the stuff in"

Me: (I observe the surrounding and see she had been sweeping), "you mean a dustpan?"

Co-worker: "yeah that is it, where is it?"

Me: "right behind you"


haha.
why are people so dumb?


--------------------
open your heart to the Love.
                                          open your mind to the Dream.

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: McMoney]
    #8967865 -

up until the age of 16 or so, I would blame the parents. Once you are out on your own, and have hopefully passed lame ass public high school, you should have the basic tools of life.

It is then the individuals responsibility to seek further intelligence.  I think it is laziness that is killing the people as a whole these days.

And, I use the word intelligence in a sense of being able to apply knowledge with action, not just having the knowledge.


--------------------
---------------------------------------------------
Sit up and meditate, there's no time to contemplate.
-------------------------------------------------
I have an international Hitech Psytrance project with a friend: BioChronic
I make various form of Psytrance as a solo Project Dendriform

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: Psy Baba]
    #8967871 -

very well put.
but i have dropped out of high school.
and i have more knowlage then half half that school.
to me knowlage isn't just the mathamatics of life its how you cansurvive in this world from day to day.


--------------------
open your heart to the Love.
                                          open your mind to the Dream.

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: McMoney]
    #8967888 -

Well survival is part basic instinct, to live, to eat, to shit, to breathe.  This is all learned within a small amount of time.

To apply advanced knowledge is more of a personal development.  A good example to me is being able to see physics all around you, and discover them for yourself, through realization.

Example A:  a nut fits a screw at room temperature, but when heated does not, so, it must expand with heat, which in turn would mean it would contract with cooling.

An intelligent person, (even semi) would realize this, a dumb person would go "Why the fuck is this not working" and give up or hit something.


--------------------
---------------------------------------------------
Sit up and meditate, there's no time to contemplate.
-------------------------------------------------
I have an international Hitech Psytrance project with a friend: BioChronic
I make various form of Psytrance as a solo Project Dendriform

Edited by Psy Baba (09/22/08 12:05 PM)

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: Psy Baba]
    #8967923 -

>An intelligent person, (even semi) would realize this, a dumb person would go "Why the fuck is this not working" and give up or hit something

:rofl2:


--------------------
open your heart to the Love.
                                          open your mind to the Dream.

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: blewmeanie]
    #8967938 -

I used to be a senior account manager... now because I had senior in front of my job title I was basically an assistant manager, but in order for the company to get away with not having to grant the seniors managerial pay/benefits/vacation they just tagged senior to our title, gave us a measly $1 more per hour, and all the supervisors dumped their bitch work on us. but i digress.

Anyway, part of being on the senior team meant we were part of a mailing list where people would email questions and one of us would respond back.

Some of those gems include, but are not limited to:

"I received an order from my sales rep and some of the fields say "N/A". What does "N/A" mean?" ... almost in unison all seniors reply back "Not Applicable"... However one senior went into great detail about how N/A or NA is universally used in almost all facets of form-filling and is amazed the original person had never seen or used the acronym up until that day.

"How do I CC people on an email?"

"That thingy at the bottom of my computer screen is now going along the side of my screen"

"Can you guys do this order for me. I don't know how and it'll be faster for you to do it for me instead of teaching me"

I guess all the good ones I had you kind of have to be in the telecom business and know the jargon...

then there were the people who ran to your desk in a panic, expecting you to drop everything you're doing and deal with their "crisis".

Coworker running in, pale faced and shaking, almost crying... "PLEASE HELP! My computer completely died and all my stuff was saved on it and I have a major order that's supposed to go in TODAY!!" ...ok I think, I'll go see what's wrong. So I go to her desk and I hear the unmistakable sound of a computer fan happily whirling away and all the lights on her CPU were on... So I look at her monitor, little green light is on, but in her defense the screen was black. so I say "well, the good news is your computer is still on, so all may not be lost. We'll just have to call maintenance up here to make sure nothing came loose" (it was against company policy to mess with any wiring, even making sure the monitor was plugged in). As I reached to pick up her phone I bumped the mouse and the computer blinked on. The screensaver was defaulted to be a blank screen. You'd think that would be the end of it... but she just couldn't comprehend what a screensaver was and why it "turned off" her computer. After spending 20 minutes in vain, trying to tell her the computer wasn't turned off in anyway, I just set the screensaver to never turn on.

EDIT: Because of that, I was deemed a "computer whiz" and every time someone had a minuscule common-knowledge computer "failure" they came to me... which made me remember on time a guy came in and was going on some rant, "HOW DO THEY EXPECT US TO FILL OUT A FORM THAT'S TOO BIG FOR THE COMPUTER?" and I was like "erm... ok let me see what you're talking about" so I follow him as he stomps to his desk and he's like "LOOK! I need to fill this out all the way to the bottom, but it's physically IMPOSSIBLE to scroll down to the bottom!!" I look at the screen and see the screen is only scrolled about halfway down... so I reach for his mouse, but it's not on the mouse pad... I look and it's across the desk as far as the wire will allow. "Erm, why is your mouse all the way over there?"  and he was like "I was trying to scroll the page down and that's as far as the mouse will go!! I'm telling you, this form is too long, it's out of my mouse's reach!" I just calmly pick the mouse up, place it on the mouse pad and say "you know you can pick the mouse up if you need to" to which he replies "NO, it's a laser mouse and the laser has to be on a surface at all times!" and I was like "Erm, no, it works just like any other mouse. It also has a wheel on it you can use to scroll... see" the guy just stands there in disbelief and says "I'll just use the wheel. I don't trust a laser not touching the surface."


--------------------
We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.

We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.


Edited by StonedShroom (09/22/08 12:35 PM)

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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: McMoney]
    #8967950 -

wow...their are some incredibly stupid ppl out there


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Re: Supertard co-workers ubsurdly dumb questionrs....or begging for elimination from the genepool. [Re: StonedShroom]
    #8967962 -

We have Becktard... She's a pisser.

I can't even begin to compile a list of things, but at least once a week we all laugh at her absolute stupidity.

The one I remember most clearly is when the boss was showing pictures of a trip to IRELAND. The picture was a beautiful, 200 foot cliff face over the ocean... Becktard asks if that's where "they landed on DDay?"

I had to hold back tears.

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