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Career *DELETED*
    #8744131 -

Post deleted by Angered Roach

Reason for deletion: drunk


Edited by Angered Roach (08/13/08 02:32 PM)

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Re: Career [Re: Angered Roach]
    #8744388 -

Quit your job, never work in another kitchen again and stop making excuses about why you can't make changes in your life. You say you're interested in botany? Great. Find a job in the field. Since you have no experience in the field you probably will be starting in a lower wage bracket, but that's what it takes to change streams when you've focused so heavily in one area. If the money isn't what you dream of making it doesn't have to be permanent, but at least you have another option for the here and now that will allow you to get out of the unbearable situation you're in.

If you still feel trapped consider going to school. Upgrade your qualifications in botany, horticulture or something like that, something you have an active, authentic interest in and go from there.

You want to move out of your parents place but can't afford to as a full time cook? Look at what you're spending your money on and consider trimming unecessary spending. I make shit money but I've still managed to live on my own for years. Get a roomate and learn to live with it. In my experience most roomates are decent enough and any problems are usually negotiable. It sounds like your standards are higher than your income will support, so for now you need to realize that you can't have everything. You sure can work towards it, but that requires curbing the spending now and adopting a more modest lifestyle at least temporarily.

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Re: Career [Re: NiamhNyx]
    #8744802 -

Welcome to life.  Everyone feels like they are underappreciated and underpaid.  At some point in our lives, we all have to work with a difficult colleague.  I don't say this to be overly critical or rude but if you walk out on a job everytime someone says something to you, or pisses you off, your not going to get very far.

You have to pay your dues to get places.  You can't always quit due to colleagues or bad circumstances.  It's cliche but true:  If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.


--------------------
...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436

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Re: Career [Re: Angered Roach]
    #8745274 -

Dude, I totally sympathize for ya. I've worked in a kitchen for the last 10 years and have absolutely hated it for about the last 7, well up until last week.

Just like you that's all I knew as well. I had wanted to get back into school but kept making excuses like I can't afford it or I couldn't work 40 hours a week and still have time for class, etc.
Well 3 years ago after quitting another kitchen and being out of work for 3 months because I refused to work another restaurant gig I decided it was time to do it. I was 25 and it was either now or never. I just couldn't stand the thought that that would be my job for the rest of my working life. Well I had to get another restaurant job because no one would hire me for anything else without experience or an education and I needed to pay the bills. 4 months in to I enrolled in community college while working in the kitchen. I graduated this past May and am starting Uni this fall to finish my B.S. in Network Engineering. It was the best decision of my life.

I would highly recommend trying school. There not much of a worst feeling than waking up in the morning, or afternoon and just dread going to work. Now I've actually starting working in the field that I enjoy, it's such a great feeling waking up and not minding going to work.

I hope I didn't come across as bragging or anything, I just wasnted to share a very similiar, negative experince and how it was possible to change it.
If your truly that dissatisfied with your career, do something about it. Life's to short to miserable for just one minute.

Beat wishes and good luck to ya bro!!!

Oh yeah, in the beginning my ramble I mentioned I had been working in a kitchen up until last week, well I came to work still drunk from the night before and got fired the next day...ha. That was truly my last restaurant gig.


--------------------
Man says, "God, show me and I will believe." God says, "Believe and I will show you."

Edited by Aiko Aiko (08/08/08 05:19 PM)

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Re: Career [Re: Angered Roach]
    #8762452 -

You are a racist, bud.

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Re: Career [Re: Angered Roach]
    #8766806 -

there's always some asshole there that wants to test my patience to the breaking point

asshole coworkers and managers

If someone fucks with me, my first instinct is to retaliate, and retaliate, I do.

Manager takes the other guy's side, god forbid anything be a black guy's fault, and fires me.  I ever see that piece of shit
again, he isn't walking away.

I'm normally a very laid back, peaceful guy, which gives people the impression that i'm someone they want to fuck with.  I respond to this treatment with like treatment, of course, and i'm always the fucking bad guy.

This has been the story of my life.


It will always be the story, no matter what job you have.  You have a shit attitude towards other people, and if that doesn't change, any career you take on will give you the same problems.  If you don't want to learn to get along with other people, you'll have to find a line of work where you work by yourself.  It is very hard to make money this way; even if you have no coworkers, you will still have customers, and they can sense a miserable attitude from a distance.  Pushing people away is pushing income and opportunities away.

The world is full of 'other people' and you are one of them, so learn to see them as potential helpers instead of obstacles and doors will open all over the place.  Self-employed or not, the only place money ever comes from is other people, and they have to appreciate you and what you do to want to pay you anything more than peanuts.

As for straight-up career change advice, NiamhNyx said all you need to hear. 

You may also have some use for these articles:

The challenge of choosing the right career
Exploring career choices
Career transitions


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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Re: Career *DELETED* [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #8768671 -

Post deleted by Angered Roach

Reason for deletion: drunk


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Re: Career [Re: Angered Roach]
    #8769121 -

Never stay more then a year at one place....


--------------------
:Awesketch:

:cool: Fair is Fair :devil:

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Re: Career [Re: Brainiac]
    #8769266 -

Brainiac said:
Never stay more then a year at one place....


Thats a great way to build seniority and stability...

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Re: Career [Re: Angered Roach]
    #8769437 -

Angered Roach said:
I just don't get it.  What am I supposed to do, just sit there and take it? I can't do that.  Not an option.



Take what?  Words?  Yes, take words.  Let them fly through the air and hit you full force.  If you pay attention instead of getting uppity, you might find they don't do anything at all.  What do words take from you?  Nothing.  They're just air.  They're just the sound of your coworker losing his composure.  You don't need to lose yours.  It's only your angry reaction that makes it unpleasant; if it never gets to that point, there is nothing bothersome about it.

When a co-worker has a little tantrum and makes a rude comment, just let them have their little tantrum.  If you just continue to go about whatever you were doing, it will be obvious to anyone watching who the loser is. 

If, instead, you start thinking reactive crap like "Hey!  Who does this guy think he is?!  I should kick his ass, how dare he... blah blah", only then do you make it into a big deal.  It could have been just a dumb comment that fell flat, but if you 'retaliate', you've made it into a grave injustice, a crusade.  That whole line of thinking is a trap.  You don't have to set him straight or put him in his place.  In fact, you can't.

The more you react, the more people will try to get you to react.  They'll come out of the woodwork in every job and social situation just to fuck with you, because they know they can control you.  Getting angry is not a defense against this, it makes you more vulnerable to it.  Anger is weakness, not strength.

If you've always reacted to rudeness this way, trying to change that habit is a long road, but worth it.  If you'd describe yourself as "kind of a bitter dude," I'd guess reacting like this is by now a very strong habit for you. But if you make a point of it, you can stop yourself before you retaliate, and learn to do something different.  An angry thought will still pop up in your head though: the little devil on your shoulder telling you to lash out, to strike back, to hate this person, but you don't have to do what it says.  Your mind is giving you a dumb suggestion, don't listen.  Remind yourself that you know better.

So what to do instead, in that moment?  Let them say what they want.  Give them permission to lose their temper, allow them the right to be a tool to their emotions.  You see, people are just people, and they all have things that set them off, you don't have to let someone else drag you into their drama.  Even if they lash out directly at you, it's not personal, they just don't know how to contain their emotions.  If you make a point of doing this, it will become the habit, instead of saying something back.  And you'll notice people trying to fuck with you less. 

Each time something begins to set you off, there is an opportunity to improve this skill.  Just remind yourself to stop before moving your mouth, and let their remark stand.  A good book on non-reaction or anger management can give you much more detailed strategies for this, you just have to agree that it is indeed valuable to learn.


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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Re: Career [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #8771618 -

I'm always a fan of "dude, chill" or "i really don't appreciate being spoken to like that," rather than escalating it into some stupid mudslinging contest. Of course having taken shit my whole life I'm not a fan of that approach. Sometimes you gotta know when to let it slide, but other times you gotta deal with things. I prefer to "be the bigger person" whenever I can.

A few weeks ago at work my coworker's normal grumpy banter and sarcastic criticism were really getting to me and I just said "I'm having a hard time dealing with your grumpy comments right now" he immediately apologized and stopped doing it. Now things are comfortable and fine and we get along well like we always did.

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