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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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Planning a healing trip
    #8564774 -

Hi, its been about 6 months+ since I last ate mushrooms.  With one exception due to setting, mushrooms have always been meaningful and left me with a renewed vigor for life.  Ive tripped around 10-15 times on shrooms and dabbled with salvia and HBWR trips.  At that point in my tripping history, I was just in awe and learning to be in harmony with myself and others.  Now I feel like I have adequate experience to control the trips direction, but I have yet to trip for any reason other than to see where it takes me.  The most direction I've put into a trip has been eating shrooms for the purposes of analyzing the interactions of sober people at a party.  It was a very interesting and disgusting experience that showed me the pinnacle of modern life is not the Friday night party as I had been led to believe.

Psychedelics have been a double edged sword for my mental health.  During and after the trips I became aware of stuff I may have never realized had I stuck to the straight laced path.  Unfortunately, that bright glimpse of hope for the peace and love worldwide faded as time passed.  It is extremely unlikely that the selfish survival-centered parts of human nature that tear the human family apart will be mended in my lifetime.  Months after my trips I became profoundly depressed, anxious, and fought suicidal thoughts.  I dont want to spend too much time on this downer stuff, but the suicidal thoughts were due to the imperfect nature of this world.  God damn it, we have to get up & go to work in the sick world, come home to television and a sick family life, and in the end realize that we ourselves are not free of imperfections in how we think.  My desire to continue living was just dangling by a thread.

I dealt with the anxiety and can now smoke up in public because I can put unfounded fears away.  However, the depression is still dogging me.  I feel emotionally fragile as I transition from suicidal ideation to healthy thinking.  I'm fighting it and feeling better every day, but it takes time.  Once you are in a hole and notice all the sick things in the world it can be hard to muster up the motivation to LIVE when you secretly long to be killed quickly and painlessly.

So here's where the trip comes in.  Im looking to induce a mystical experience through chemicals to learn to love myself & others, lead me to motivation to take the steps I need to get to the life I desire, and grow closer to trusted friends.  I have access to mushrooms, LSD, and peyote.  Ive only taken mushrooms, but the mindfuck contemplation might not be what I need right now.  Cacti have been described to me as a more lucid, healing trip than mushrooms and I would appreciate any information about psychedelics and healing of the soul.

With what Ive shared, how would you shroomerites recommend I go about the trip?  My first thoughts are to share my intentions with the people Im tripping with, meditate, and have a list of questions to contemplate while tripping.  Has anyone here successfully used psychedelics to long standing depression?  Before you guys have at it, I might add that the trip will take place on private property in the woods of a friend.  Bonfire, shelter, fishing, etc are all available.

Edited by arpnuke (06/25/08 11:49 PM)

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Re: Help with planning a trip with a purpose [Re: arpnuke]
    #8564843 -

I know what you are talking about. I wouldn't say I battle with clinical depression, but often I find myself in deep dark holes of absolute despair with no real end in sight. Sometimes it may just be personal problems, financial problems, or just a total loss for any vigour for life. Acid either did two things for me.

a) gave me new eyes, which helped to laugh hysterically at how pathetic everything is and how stupid people are in taking things way too seriously

b) gave me a passion to be more harmonious with my fellow man, get along with them better, "slot in" better

then, months later I might find myself back to square one. At a total loss with what to do with myself. I find I have no real passion for anything, no interest in anything other than drugs and getting fucked up.

I think the only real way to do it, is to get some genuine interests in life, a zest for things. A trip would ideally take more than just saying " think i will take some shrooms and heal myself" it should probably take a bit more preparation, spend some months/weeks being nice, doing deeds, helping people, just try and make yourself become a better person, but not for the sole purpose of making a trip better.
i don't really know how to answer your question, but go in asking for some kind of direction, then after the trip should be just as important, in applying what you learn to your life and do your best to genuinely become a better person.

i'm not one to say this because i don't exactly practice what i preach, so don't take anything I say.

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Re: Help with planning a trip with a purpose [Re: indica]
    #8564989 -

I hear you, especially on the zest for life.  That's about how I would describe the afterglow of the various psychedelics I've used.  It seems to me that to live a happy & fulfilled life, a person needs something to do that they are passionate about and people that mutually care for eachother.


then, months later I might find myself back to square one. At a total loss with what to do with myself. I find I have no real passion for anything, no interest in anything other than drugs and getting fucked up.

This last spell of depression led me to delete my social networking stuff and isolate from everyone except drug suppliers.  Getting by through daily alcohol/marijuana abuse blows, especially when you know that once the buzz wears off you'll be back in square one.  It isn't sustainable because the person that behaves that way isn't thinking like a healthy, happy human being.  When the veil of everyday life is lifted through psychedelics there is a certain blissful quality of understanding that is difficult to integrate into sobriety when we see the harsh reality of spineless informants, bloodthirsty mobs, someone's child being killed thousands of miles away, etc.

I've been preloading for this latest trip with Prometheus Rising by RAW and Angel Tech:  A Modern Shaman's Guide to Reality Selection.  Both books talk about changing your perspective on life and leaving room for it to change further.  The problem I'm running into is that it is HARD to move towards the future when all your hard work will be spent in this imperfect world.  At any time a grow room could be busted and LEGALLY other people could lock me away and I pay for that very service.  It just doesn't sit right with me, but neither does the termination of this mysterious existence.

My hope is that the next psychedelic I take in the proper set & setting will serve as a catalyst to motivate myself to move towards a far off goal (relocation, further education, etc).  As much as I'd like to have one of you guys bust in here with a guide to getting out of depression I know it won't happen.  It's up to each person to know themselves and do their best to fix what other people taught us to break.

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Re: Help with planning a trip with a purpose [Re: arpnuke]
    #8565020 -

It sounds like you have the right mind for it. Psychedelics won't give you any answers. They will show you things you already know, just in a different light. That's the hardest part.

I abused mushrooms heavily for about a fortnight, on the last tripas I was reaching in to grab more shrooms my best friend said "nah man, you don;t need it.. you already have it. what are you looking for? you're there" wihch I should have listened to, as the trip wrecked me mentally, i was exhausted.

The best way you could go about this would be be perhaps to forget about psychedelics for a little while. Try doing something in your life to improve your life quality, I don't know how you would go about that. Do something social, catch up with family, some friends, do things you keep putting off. Tripping makes me want to go back on all those times I said " i cant today i'm too busy" just because plainly I couldn't be fucked.

Think about that for a bit.

What do you want from tripping? because it's only going to show you what you already know, as i've already said, but just consider that the answer is right in front of you already, you don't need psychedelics to get there

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Re: Help with planning a trip with a purpose [Re: indica]
    #8565070 -

I think you're problem is how you use mushrooms themselves. Maybe social experiments with mushrooms to show you how sick people are isn't the right way to go, at least not now. Consider contemplating where the mushrooms come from: the earth. Take a walk in nature, every day, every other day, once a week. It doesn't matter, but I have found that nature itself can give you many answers that you are looking for. The answers are, in fact, stored inside your brain, yet to be discovered by you. Don't get lost in the complexities of the modern society that you are engulfed in. Nature provides a reflection and comparison point for your life; it shows how simple and beautiful the world is. You are, as a human, part of this world. You're no more worthless or worthy than the leaves that the trees bear or the insects below your feet.

With my experiences with mushrooms, I have found that taking them surrounded by nature can be one of the most healing and powerful things possible. On a nice sunny day, while walking through nature, almost feeling as if every plant and creature is a part of you, that is when you will be healed. I don't need mushrooms to feel happy or more secure. Just a simple walk can prove one of the best remedies for any problem.


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Re: Help with planning a trip with a purpose [Re: ninjx]
    #8572139 -

ninjx, I really liked what you said about being no more important than the leaves or ground we all tread on.  Psychedelics seem to bring out a solemn and respectful quality and at the same time embody silliness.  More evidence that the world is not black & white as we were taught.

Nature is one of the biggest reasons why I'm still here today.  It doesn't speak in the traditional sense, but it seems to soothe my soul by showing my mind the beauty of creation.


I abused mushrooms heavily for about a fortnight, on the last tripas I was reaching in to grab more shrooms my best friend said "nah man, you don;t need it.. you already have it. what are you looking for? you're there" wihch I should have listened to, as the trip wrecked me mentally, i was exhausted.

The best way you could go about this would be be perhaps to forget about psychedelics for a little while. Try doing something in your life to improve your life quality, I don't know how you would go about that. Do something social, catch up with family, some friends, do things you keep putting off. Tripping makes me want to go back on all those times I said " i cant today i'm too busy" just because plainly I couldn't be fucked.

Man, that part about not needing more psychs happened exactly the same with me.  I'd extracted 100 HBWR seeds into 195 proof.  My friend and I had each drank about 30 seeds and were tripping hard.  I was going in and out of lysergic ego loss for the first time and both of us were dropping insights on human nature like it was our jobs.  My friend wasn't as experienced and said, "How much more do I need to take to get on your level?"  He was just looking at me with a measuring cup and a shot glass in hand with the eyes of a child.  I told him he was already there and to take whatever he wanted, he knows himself best.

I've begun to reconnect with acquaintances that may actually be friends after all.  The ones I've talked to have seemed concerned about me although they never expressed it before.  Makes me think that this dysfunctional human family has some hope after all.

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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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