Auto-SummaryThe author reflects on her past as a mother, acknowledging her negligence and learning to cherish her children. She shares a recent incident where her sister's neighbor's child was found outside in the snow, possibly having fallen from an upstairs window. The mother's sister and her neighbor saved the child, and though she didn't know the mother, she is relieved the child is safe. The author expresses concern over the mother's neglect and the potential for worse outcomes if help hadn't arrived. She questions what can be done to address child abuse and neglect.
This starts out a little personal, but I posted it somewhere else and just copied and pasted it here, so there's no editing.
I used to believe I was an absolute horrible mother. I would leave my daughter with my mother for months at a time, with not a care in the world. I mean, I knew she was safe, but I was more interested in my own well being, not my childs. Yes, I can admit that now. I'm not proud, but I've learned and now I can't imagine my home or my life without either of my children.
There have been three very monumental moments of my life. First, was Renee's birth in September of 1997. I didn't realize it then, but that was the day that would change the rest of my life, and still does daily. Second, was the birth of my second child Cheyanne. She was a planned baby, so for me and my husband, well at least for me...that day was very special to me. I longed for her for months and then her arrival brought me to tears. I couldn't stop crying, I was so happy to see her.
Lastly, my nephew Damien's birth. I had been in the hospital for most of my sister's children's births, but was never allowed in the room. That was understandable, I don't let anyone in my room either except for the father and my mom, however, this time...there was no one else there. I was the only one around when my sister went into labor. I was so excited, and when he was born, the second he was born, I felt this instant closeness. An instant bond that I have to admit, I don't have with my other nephews. I try to make up for it now, but there's a lot of making up to do.
Anyway, this story DOES have a point and a horrible ending.
Every week, I make it a point to keep Alex, that's what we call Damien only because I dont agree with momma's choice of name. Sorry veronika. Sometimes I keep him for one day, sometimes I keep him a couple. I need to. I feel like he belongs here sometimes. He loves me and I know he's VERY close to me. My girl's love him to death and so does Jake. He's become attached to all of us.
Here's what happened today.
It's about 2:30pm. I call Veronika to see if Alex was dressed so that I can pick him up. I can tell that veronika is not exactly paying to attention to what I was saying, so I was listening to her and what she was doing on her end of the line. She was talking to a little kid. She was asking him if he was okay and I hear her ask him if he fell out. I'm thinking "what?"
So I ask her what's going on. She said that her upstairs neighbors kid was wandering around outside. He didn't have a coat on, and there's snow everywhere. He looks disoriented. She tells me that she thinks he fell out of the upstairs window! I'm thinking OMG, what the fuck. I ask her if she went to the neighbors house. She said they knowcked on the door, but there was no answer.
I tell her that she should call 911. She said she would, so we hung up. I put my coat on and drove over to her house, about 1 minute away and I get there as the ploice an ambulance do. I see the ploice have went into my sister's apartment, where she was keeping the little boy. He looked a little scraped up, but he wasn't crying and he didn't look scared. The emt's were holding him in a blanket and were grabbing a teddy bear from the ambulance for him. The cops ask my sister where the mother was and she didn't know. She said she knocked and got no answer.
The cops proceeded to bang on the women's door. At this time, the emt's had taken the child into the ambulance to check him out. Finally, the mother emerges from her door, she looked like she had just woken up. The police then tell her that they think her son has fallen from the upstairs window, which from outside, clearly looks like SOMEONE had fallen out of it. She's like, "OMG NO!"
They go upstairs and I go into the house. I'm pretty upset over it, I mean, he's not my child, but he IS a child and this shouldve NEVER happened. Where the hell was she? What the fuck was she doing?
I'm thinking I was a bad mother, but this shit never happened to my kids. They've always been safe and if I knew I couldn't keep them safe, I entrusted them to my mother who WOULD and always does keep them safe. Thank you mom.
I left the house with Alex, hoping that the little boy was okay. Hoping that he didn't suffer any real physical damage. Whatever emotional damage he would've had, would disappear before the year is over, but I hope that mother is feeling the pain.
Later, my sister explains to me that there have been some complaints about the woman and the way she raises her kids. She never looks after them, they run around ramped. There were quite a few disturbing things I've heard about her. I don't know the woman herself, but from this incident alone, she worries me.
So here I am, wondering what's going to happen to this little boy. What's to become of him and his siblings. Who's going to do something about this woman?
If my sister and her other neighbor wouldn't have been there, what would've happened to the little boy? So much more could've gone wrong with this situation and I'm just glad he's okay, thanks to my sister and her neighbor(the good one).
I don't even like to think about all the other horrible parents out there in this world. With all the child abuse and neglect going on, it hurts to imagine what other children are experiencing just because their parents don't give a shit.
What can I do?
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The secret to being funny is to say smart things stupidly, or is it stupid things smartly? Whatever..it's not rocket surgery...or something like that.
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