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How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school?
    #7685379 -

My little brother is driving my dad into a deep depression.  He just flat out won't go to school.  My dad does NOTHING to stop him.  He feels guilty because we lost our mom a few years ago and she was pretty much the bad cop, so he's powerless.  He sits in his room all day afraid t o leave the house and my brother takes full advantage.  My dad gives him money which he spends all on pot.  He lends him his car all the time (which he ended up wrecking the front and doesn't have to pay shit for it).

I keep calling him out on it, trying to coach HIM in parenting but he's really depressed and nonchalant.  I told my dad that if my brother isn't going to go to school then he should not be able to be in the house during school hours.  I told him to break down his door, grab him by the collar, and throw him out (it's what my mom would've done :lol:).  My dad thinks he stays home because he's depressed too but I think my bro's just a lazy piece of shit. 

I hate to say it but I don't think I'll be in contact with my brother when I finally move away for good.  He'll always be family but he's just somebody I don't want to know.. :nonono:

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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: Newbie]
    #7685386 -

Wow, excellent parenting skills.

He's doing more harm to your brother than good, tell him it's his fault and to stop giving him money and shit.


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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: Newbie]
    #7685404 -

you could bring law enforcement in on this

i know here that legally, a minor has to be in highschool unless they work full time or whatever


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channel your inner Larry David

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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #7685411 -

I remember my brother literally going nuts over school work, it'd throw the entire house into a stressed out frenzy, and this went on for years. Sometimes all you can do is give the kid the school's best resources for a learning program and tough it out. Maybe you guys should bring the issue up with the school and work out a plan that suits the kid's needs better, or isn't as intimidating, or try to root out what is causing the problems for this kid, and why he's acting the way he is.


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Life is one big road with lots of signs,
So when you're ridin' through the ruts,
Don't you complicate your mind.

Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy
Don't bury your thoughts,
Put your vision to reality, yeah!

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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #7685412 -

if he doesnt go to school he should be working. not just be given a free ride. difficult to do something about it though and create a change


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Beauty of style and harmony and grace and good rhythm depend on Simplicity ~Plato

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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #7685437 -

I completely agree. It hurt but I even told him that. I've raised my voice to my dad pleading for him to do something but his reasoning is, "Who am I to tell him what to do when I can't even get ahold of my own depression??"

"Because you're his fucking PARENT!! You have unconditional authority over him!"


I've thought about involving other authority but 1.) I very much dislike police. 2.) I don't know how vindictive my brother really is.



My dad has a psych appointment today, I'm hoping the doctor smacks some parenting skills back into him. Or at least some Xanax.

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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: Newbie]
    #7685446 -

Why don't you guys talk with the school and work out a plan, have you tried that, or is the kid totally unwilling to even cooperate with that?


--------------------
Life is one big road with lots of signs,
So when you're ridin' through the ruts,
Don't you complicate your mind.

Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy
Don't bury your thoughts,
Put your vision to reality, yeah!

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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: Newbie]
    #7685448 -

NewbieShroomie said:
I completely agree. It hurt but I even told him that. I've raised my voice to my dad pleading for him to do something but his reasoning is, "Who am I to tell him what to do when I can't even get ahold of my own depression??"

"Because you're his fucking PARENT!! You have unconditional authority over him!"


I've thought about involving other authority but 1.) I very much dislike police. 2.) I don't know how vindictive my brother really is.



My dad has a psych appointment today, I'm hoping the doctor smacks some parenting skills back into him. Or at least some Xanax.


well, it wouldn't be police, necessarily, but a state worker (who may have been a cop previously or works with cops)


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channel your inner Larry David

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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: Newbie]
    #7685451 -

maybe try some scare tactics or something? do you have any friends turned junkie that you could use to scare him? like some people in really, really bad shape.


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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: VisionsToReality]
    #7685458 -

Yeah the school went over computer at home schooling with him and all that but the ball doesn't seem to be rolling on anything.  I don't know how many sick days he has left before they expel him but I have a feeling that's what he WANTS.  He has that "thug life" fuck-it mentality about everything. 

I'll look more into that social worker you speak of, if you have a link that'd be great!  Right now though I'm off to the gym.  Maybe I'll think of some brilliant plan to fix this family during my workout.  :rolleyes:

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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: Newbie]
    #7685464 -

Maybe its just me but wouldn't xanax make your dad even more apathetic towards the situation?

If I was you I'd take the matters into my own hands and smack him around alittle bit. Tell him you refuse to let him take advantage of your father like that, and do something about it yourself. I've had to smack my little brother around alittle because he was very disrespectful to my parents/grandparents and they did nothing about it. I'm not saying beat the shit out of him, theres many ways to intimidate a kid into behaving less like an asshole bum.


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Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.


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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: RipVanWinkle]
    #7685479 -

on his 18th bday enlist him in the army without his knowledge. let them beat it out of him.


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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #7685482 -

What a pain in the ass, I really hope I never have a kid like that. Best of luck, budskee.


--------------------
Life is one big road with lots of signs,
So when you're ridin' through the ruts,
Don't you complicate your mind.

Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy
Don't bury your thoughts,
Put your vision to reality, yeah!

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: VisionsToReality]
    #7685507 -

I really hope I never have a kid period :lol:

Or at this point in my life I never want one...

Most kids irritate me.  Most kids I've met are brats.


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Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music.


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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: Newbie]
    #7685577 -

To answer your question,
Quote:
How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school?

You can't. Unfortunately, it's as simple as that. I don't know about where you live, but in Massachusetts, if you're 16 (I believe with parental consent), you don't have to go to school. No work, nothing -- you just drop out.

The only way you can get your brother back to school is by motivating him to not be a drop out. Make him realize that if he doesn't go this year, he's just going to have to make it up next year, or get his GED. What does he want to do after school? Work at McDonalds? Because it's pretty hard to find a job at all if you don't at least have your GED. Even if you do have your diploma or your GED, it is still pretty difficult to find a decent-waged job.

Tell him these things if you haven't already. Let him know what you think about his actions -- tell him he's lazy and just doing this to look cool/for attention. If he doesn't change, you can at least say you tried. It's his life, and you can try to guide him, but he's going to make his own decisions for better or worse.


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"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here." -Max Ehrmann, Desiderata

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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: RipVanWinkle]
    #7685578 -

RipVanWinkle said:
I really hope I never have a kid period :lol:

Or at this point in my life I never want one...

Most kids irritate me.  Most kids I've met are brats.


:handth:

Take him to a homeless/jail and say this how your going to end up.


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:Awesketch:

:cool: Fair is Fair :devil:

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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: tiny_rabid_birds]
    #7685733 -

tiny_rabid_birds said:
on his 18th bday enlist him in the army without his knowledge. let them beat it out of him.


or maybe send him to a military school. Let them brain wash him into a decent citizen.

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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: Newbie]
    #7685751 -

take a dump on his pillow.


and tell him that's how he'll end up...

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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: JonnyOnTheSpot]
    #7685808 -

i hear ya
i was in his shoes not 2 years ago
id talk to him explain what he and your dad
i takes to to tango, always

tell after high school his life is his to fuck up but belive me you can do alot without collage


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Re: How do you force a 17 yr old to finish high school? [Re: Newbie]
    #7685809 -

Remind him that his High School has more drugs than the local pharmacy.

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