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Some of my Poetry
    #7192859 -

The Clocktower

The clocktower stood destroyed in center
Its remnants a reminder nothing
Has changed said the sad accusing hands, O!
Clocktower how I wish to ignore you.

Seagulls

Reaching in the sand
Digging out the needles
Twitching like a feeble bug
Directly at the seagulls flying above
My head

I love writing rap, so here's one:

I'm perpetual motion Ancestral devotion Astral projection
Syllabic rejection hear these conjectures
Of my conjunctions My rhymes and gestures
They serve different functions
A little bit logic, a little bit chronic, a little bit love
A little daemonic A pity to don it
I don't wanna talk iron
I walk around the block with nothing to ponder
But my shoes and my socks
the dirt road and some rocks
A pretty attitude and invisible glock
I believe in angels and devils Sound wave forms
Magical Kettles Tactical vessels Practical lessons
And over the special No incredible
Why does what I say sound so seminal
A seminar to the masses My utmost respect
Deserves many lashes from this tantric acid
Into rad flashes from cars like fire
Geothermal gasses but it'd soon be better
But then I'd Rather try my luck
With a different vendor
If you walk around with no goal
It's like playing a game you can't win Aimless and stupid
Anything less would've been a sin
I should've known you couldn't get in
I hear the sounds of a liquid twin It coulda been
I coulda said something different New systems
Bass pound your head.


Questions? Comments? Critiques?


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion



Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book

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Re: Some of my Poetry [Re: Apollyphelion]
    #7252463 -

Nothin'? Changing lures:-)


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion



Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book

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Re: Some of my Poetry [Re: Apollyphelion]
    #7254322 -

Lol I see the rap song working good :thumbup:

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Re: Some of my Poetry [Re: Apollyphelion]
    #7254601 -

Hey, I really liked this part of the rap:

Quote:
I'm perpetual motion
Ancestral devotion
Astral projection
Syllabic rejection

hear these conjectures
Of my conjunctions
My rhymes and gestures
They serve different functions.

A little bit logic,
a little bit chronic,
a little bit love
A little daemonic.



(I messed with your formatting a little to make it read easier.)

but after that it really loses it's edge and starts to feel like you're just kind of filling in words.

I wasn't that big on the poems... though Seagulls provokes some interesting imagery. (Moreso than the Clocktower.)

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Re: Some of my Poetry [Re: JacquesCousteau]
    #7259297 -

Thank you so very much all for the comments!

clocktower is in Iambic Pentameter...that was hard eboguh to convey:lol:


--------------------

"I'm looking at you looking at it"

SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL PLEASE! www.youtube.com/apollyphelion



Creator of the World's Worst Comic Book

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General Interest > Music, Art, and Media
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