Make sure you always have a buffer zone. Some money in the bank in case things go sour. I took mine for granted, and now I need to find a new place in 4 days. And while I should be able to afford rent somewhere, I don't have a job right now.
But I'm waiting for a program I'm trying to get into to start. It starts in the middle of next month, and if I am accepted I will know soon. July1st. (but I want to know NOW)
So, I'm working temp jobs and crossing my fingers that I can go into this federally funded program to gain more education, high level first aid Etc etc... and hoping that when I tell landlords today that I'm already accepted, it wont turn out to be a lie. I will make enough to pay rent and have a little left while getting more education and certification IF I get in.
Even if it falls through, I can work my ass off and pay rent(provided I get enough temp work), just not here.....
Temp work is the bane of my existence. It's saved me when I needed it the most, and fucked me when I was even more desperate...  I said to my GF, this is why people kill themselves eh, situations like this? I'm not close to doing it, but the stress of these situations makes it all the more clear why some just say fuck it, I've had enough.
A buffer zone is key, I can't stress this enough. I will always have one from now on. I'm already pretty cheap, and recently I've become interested in buying lots of gold and saving it.
A friend laughed, I used to almost shun money, or at least any sort of overbearing love for it. And I still don't define my life that way. But the idea of having a bunch of gold in the bank, or oh say 30,000 worth of fucking buffer zone, that would allow me to start school, make art, invest, etc..... Sounds pretty fucking sweet right about now.
Anyway, I'm really anxious at times, like I'm going to fall out of my skin ,and depressed, but oddly, relieved. This place was far too expensive, although I could afford it last year, it was never worth it in my eyes.
Weird feelings, most of the time I feel quite happy about this situation. But every now and then panic sets in. It's strange. I'm usually pretty happy and centered these days, and even now I am, but every now and then I'm intensely upset. It's very unpleasant, to say the least.
I might have to move back into the ghetto, funny, I was robbed here not there. Maybe people are afraid to hop through your window when there's a good chance someones waiting to shank them on the other side of the glass.
I said I would never live there again, but right now I don't care, I will live in a dive, a motel, anything, whatever I have to use as a place to sleep as I work to build that crucial buffer zone back up.
I was thinking, the best/easiest time to become a communist , must be when you are renting, the world almost seems so unfair at times, bills seem too high, and it's like every day, if you pay enough attention, you realize you're being fucked in some way.
I assume when I own my own business the market is going to seem allot cooler again. Heh....
I saw an ad for Low Cost housing, a price perfect for my GF and I. One pet allowed only. Well, the economical thing to do is eat the other 5 cats. Food money is already very tight anyway....
And I picked my favorite kitty long ago.
I was offed 4 hours work yesterday....4 hours, Yay temp jobs..... I'm looking for a job, a home, and calling the program early. I'm not ready to tie any nooses, but god dammit people, I tell you.......
Reality is sharp It cuts at me like a knife Everyone i know Is in the fight of their life
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I feel your pain. Just out of college, debt up to my eyeballs, unable to find decent work (decent meaning over minimum wage) despite a pretty damned good resume for my age...it seems like there are just too many qualified old people in the same boat, looking for work, and no one has the time\patience for someone under 30 without 3-5 years exp.
I heard a story secondhand of a part-time maintenance worker position paying slightly above minimum wage at the local library receiving over 700 applications! I don't have the cash on hand to leave the state so I'm trying to find something to hold me over for a year until I can, but meanwhile those bills are still coming in. A good cover letter will help, I'm sure, so that's today's homework assignment...get that shit written so I can read it and tweak it and send it and get hired! Just so daunting doing this all alone with no real concept of what it takes.
Depending on your situation housing has always been easiest. Just hit craigslist and do some internet searches on any of the sites for that type of thing and sublet for a month or so @ 300 bucks and then get something more stable. 'Course, I dont know who and what you're hauling around and it could be a lot more complicated than that.
Best of luck to you in your struggles! You'll come out on top yet =)
-------------------- Q: We wanted to see if you had the ability to expand your mind and your horizons... and for one brief moment, you did. PICARD: When I realized the paradox... Q: Exactly. For that one fraction of a second, you were open to options you'd never considered. That's the exploration that awaits you...not mapping stars and studying nebulae... but charting the unknowable possibilities of existence. To carry yourself forward and experience myriad things is delusion. That myriad things come forth and experience themselves is awakening. -Dogen Zenji
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