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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: Captain Jack]
    #6970430 -

Dear Captain

Assuming there really is a salad in your trousers, are we talkin' Caesar or Taco?

part two:

Can you please bring this woman to me?


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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: California]
    #6970432 -

I hadn't read his, so I looked for it in order to shed some light on the subject.

I now see that it does look like I copied him. My apologies.

Judging by his ratings, he appears to be a person that many people have strong opinions of. While many like him, others strongly dislike him. Because of that, some of his threads may be compromised by those who dislike him.

I, however, have not been in the Shroomery limelight for many many moons. I probably have a clean slate with most reading this forum, so it's up to my engaging personality (or lack thereof) to carry (or rue) the day.

Oregon said:
Why is this thread so much better than Brahies?



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Captain Jack has been hailed as a brilliant scholar, discredited as a brilliant fraud, and mistaken for a much taller man on several occasions.

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: DrCamacho89]
    #6970436 -

I'm not familiar with it. I probably should give an opinion without more information. Is it made of a high quality, durable material? If so, I probably think it's pretty good.

DrCamacho89 said:
What do you think of Rahle's little hat?



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Captain Jack has been hailed as a brilliant scholar, discredited as a brilliant fraud, and mistaken for a much taller man on several occasions.

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: Captain Jack]
    #6970439 -

Captain Jack said:
I apologize. I only read a few threads on the Pub today. I didn't realize you had a similar thread going on. I would have saved this for another time if I had known.

Yes, I have. I like any orifice of a consenting partner, but some days I especially enjoy the anus.

Rahie said:
why did you copy my post?
have you ever stuck your penis into a butt?




Hey no need to be sorry I was just kidding.
One time I attempted to do anal with a x girlfriend but when I started to put it in she said it hurt to much.

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: Rahie]
    #6970440 -

Dear Captain

Rahie's lying about ever having a sexual encounter, right?


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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: lukeboots]
    #6970444 -

Literally, a cold bear is cooler. A cooler as an object is not necessarily of cold temperature. Even if it is contains ice, the outside of it is probably warm or even hot (who uses a cooler to store cold things when it's already cold outside?).

Figuratively, it all depends on your opinion of beer. I suppose it all depends on the beer. Many people enjoy a frosty beverage when it is of quality (Sam Adams, perhaps, or even Heine). But not many people truly enjoy the taste of something like Natty. I personally have never enjoyed beer, even when I was stealing them from the pantry at age 12 or so.

So despite the literal triumph of beer, I pick the cooler. I can use it to store a variety of beverages (including beer, if I wish) at a delightful temperature on a hot day.

jonnywax said:
Dear Captain,

What's cooler, in every sense of the word: A cooler, or cold beer?



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Captain Jack has been hailed as a brilliant scholar, discredited as a brilliant fraud, and mistaken for a much taller man on several occasions.

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: lukeboots]
    #6970446 -

jonnywax said:
Dear Captain

Rahie's lying about ever having a sexual encounter, right?


And if he's not lying about having a sexual encounter, he's lying about having a dick big enough to ever cause someone pain... right?


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!

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: HB]
    #6970452 -

You're not asking me, but I'll pretend you were.

No, I'm not looking at your monitor.  I bet it's got a nice background, though.  Since you have good artistic abilities, you probably have a good taste in backgrounds.

HB said:
jonnywax said:
you dont always gotta cater to the english fuXX, ya know. :wink:


hey are you looking at my monitor?  I'll sue.



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Captain Jack has been hailed as a brilliant scholar, discredited as a brilliant fraud, and mistaken for a much taller man on several occasions.

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: jewunit]
    #6970458 -

I stopped eating meat at age 17.  At that time I lived in [redacted], which did not have Popeyes.  I have never eaten there.  I did eat some KFC as a child, but it's been many years since I ate fried chicken of any kind.

I am thus forced to pick based on other factors.  I choose Popeyes, because of its prominence in the movie "Little Nicky".  Although it's not as good as the true Adam Sandler classics like "Happy Gilmore", it's a decent enough movie.

jewunit said:
:lol:

Ay yo Cap'n..... what's better: Popeyes or KFC?



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Captain Jack has been hailed as a brilliant scholar, discredited as a brilliant fraud, and mistaken for a much taller man on several occasions.

Edited by Captain Jack (08/31/11 09:02 PM)

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: Captain Jack]
    #6970460 -

Good answer on the cooler quiz!


Dear Captain,

What the fuck is the name of your ship?


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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: HB]
    #6970465 -

Yes, I am. If you want to see me, watch the extras of "March of the Penguins", narrated by Morgan Freeman. I'm one of the ones that didn't make the final cut.

My baby is only half penguin, because my wife is a cat, not a penguin.

If you were to make a portrait of us as a family, I would be honored. I was very pleased to see you still had the picture. I saved it to my new computer (it was last saved to my old computer, RIP).

HB said:
are you really a penguin?

if so, does that make your new baby a penguin, too?

should I make a portrait of him, too? i can even pose you guys together, like a bunch of happy clams ... happy clams with syringes in their flippers ...




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Captain Jack has been hailed as a brilliant scholar, discredited as a brilliant fraud, and mistaken for a much taller man on several occasions.

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: Captain Jack]
    #6970467 -

If you had a Large Sailboat (ship), what would be it's name?


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https://files.shroomery.org/files/06-17/635734999-earth.jpg

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: Captain Jack]
    #6970473 -

This is my hat
It is made very well, I would say military grade.

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: Rahie]
    #6970475 -

Did you draw that avatar of yours? It is weird.

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: Captain Jack]
    #6970478 -

awesome. I will create a new portrait, at once!


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So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. - Galatians 5:16

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: lukeboots]
    #6970481 -

The lettuce in my pants is only lettuce. Not a full salad. Thank god.

Unfortunately I am unable to bring the young lady in question to your residence this evening. She has a prior engagement that occupies her. However, I would suggest perusing pornotube.com in addition to the fine website that you linked (assuming, of course, you are of legal age to do so). While it does contain many ads for websites, there are also some high quality clips there for free public viewing.

jonnywax said:
Dear Captain

Assuming there really is a salad in your trousers, are we talkin' Caesar or Taco?

part two:

Can you please bring this woman to me?



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Captain Jack has been hailed as a brilliant scholar, discredited as a brilliant fraud, and mistaken for a much taller man on several occasions.

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: Captain Jack]
    #6970496 -

:lol:


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funky ass music: Planet of Dinosaurs // Rich Whiskey

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: lukeboots]
    #6970497 -

Dear Captain,

Why did Pearl Jam have such great success when it is obvious that they sucked fetid donkey scrotum?

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: Rahie]
    #6970516 -

They tend to say that.

Even though you didn't ask a question, here are my tips:
1) More lube than you can possibly imagine. It doesn't even have to be actual lube you purchased; gobs and gobs of spit can work.
2) Make her climax first. Preferably two times (one by mouth and one during sex).
3) Externally stimulate the area first, preferably during something else pleasurable (like oral sex)
4) Lightly penetrate the anus with a finger, preferably as she builds to the aforementioned climax
5) You have to be hard as a fucking rock
6) Remember the lube! When in doubt, get some more spit down there.
7) Tell her repeatedly how hot it gets you.
8) When you're finally working your way in, GO SLOW. Get her to use a vibrator up front too.
9) At first, use only the top inch or two of yourself. Use your hand as a barrier to accidental further entry. Ask her how she's doing. If she's doing good, ask her if she wants you to go a little deeper.
10) If she ever says stop, then stop. No begging, pleading, etc.
11) Never go from ass to vagina. It's not recommended to go ass to mouth until you know she's kinky. Some girls don't like that.

Quote:
Hey no need to be sorry I was just kidding.
One time I attempted to do anal with a x girlfriend but when I started to put it in she said it hurt to much.



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Captain Jack has been hailed as a brilliant scholar, discredited as a brilliant fraud, and mistaken for a much taller man on several occasions.

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Re: For one night only: Ask the Good Captain [Re: Captain Jack]
    #6970525 -

Where'd you get your username from?

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