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Theory on sleep deprivation
    #6742922 -

Heres a theory on life and sleep deprivation. This world could just be a mental prison or training ground in which you have to overcome all your petty fears and doubts and inner demons or youll never escape. The reason being that your thoughts have the power of creating reality and dark and negative thoughts coming from your fear have the power to create a neverending nightmare or hell as a reality for you.

Maybe sleep deprivation opens the window and gives us a glimpse outside the prison and all these dark and evil hallucinations are real manifestations of our fears and negative thoughts. When they say if your an evil person your going to hell maybe what they mean is that constant dark and evil thoughts will manifest into hell as a reality for your mind or spirit to inhabit.

Ive thought about things like that on mushrooms when wondering why most my trips are positive but some people seem to bad trip the whole way through.

The other night after staying up for over 30 hrs on speed I hallucinated a piece of plastic shaking and moving on its own and I went in for a closer look and a voice in my head said "This is a parallel universe". That got me thinking.

I think im going to become a Buddhist for a few years and live the holiest and most positive life I can live in those years then start experimenting with sleep deprivation again.

Another theory is that you these voices and demons are the prison guards and if you have any doubts, negative thoughts or fears youll never get past them because they control you with your fear and negative thoughts. Personally the minute I get a little bit nervous they have me.

The other night the voices were asking me things like "What makes you so tough?", "Why arent you afraid, are you a priest?" and weird shit like that. What I think is it doesnt matter what you actually do it only matters how you think about what you did.

If you stole a slice of pizza and you regret doing it and think your evil because of it then those thoughts will manifest and put you down. If you murdered a bunch of little kids but you believe that it was a good thing to do and your a holy person for doing it then your thoughts will manifest into positive things even thought what you did was sick and evil.

I may just be off my rockers completely but I think im approaching the meaning of life. Maybe the meaning of life is achieving a state of invulnerability mentally and spiritually.

A state where you know no matter what happens your invincible and will overcome anything that the universe throws at you. For example have you ever reacted because somebody insulted you for no reason and you started wondering why they insulted you and got pissed off about it? Thats a weakness that will prevent you from ever escaping this reality.

What if you had voices constantly taunting you and insulting you in any way possible all day? Schizophrenics do and when I stay up on speed thats what happens to me. Theres only 2 options you either take what they say as truth and let them put you down and live a nightmare because of it or like I did just stop caring what they say because its mostly lies anyway and if its true theyre not saying anything you dont already know. If you take option 2 then youve won because mere words cant effect you and voices in your head cant change the way you think.

My problem is at the end of it I get scared of the idea that maybe theyre demons that are going to torment me for the rest of my life and thats what manifests as delusions when I stay up on speed. Ive beat them a few times by not caring if theyre demons or not and knowing no matter what they do I'll always win and theres nothing they can do to stop me or harm me. I just cant keep that state of mind constant yet. I will though. And when I do I wonder what will happen. Will my mind create something else to be paranoid about?

What happens when I go through it all and theres nothing left to be paranoid about?
Maybe I'll be one of the people with delusions of grandeur. I had them at one point the other night and im telling you theyre a million times more pleasant that delusions of persecution.


The first time I had delusions on speed I was worried they were going to be permanent and there actually was traces of them for weeks after. I had to keep reassuring myself they would fade away with time. This time I hadnt a worry in my mind (well thats an exaggeration) that they were going to go after I got some sleep and they did. Its funny how schizophrenics and people who believe in the paranormal all have higher dopamine contents in their brains.

Makes me wonder. Maybe schizo's and lunatics are just more evolved people who are almost ready to transcend this reality and are facing all sorts of mental tests and challenges to provoke them and make them struggle to attain a state of pureness and invulnerability required to transcend this reality. Or maybe theyre just paranoid delusional lunatics.


--------------------
Mother goose said to the swan "Is that PCP your cooking?" and the swan replied "Yes, yes it is.

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #6743083 -

Sleep deprivation is well known to cause hallucinations. I wouldn't put too much stock in any of your sleep dep revelations. Sleep is GOOD for you. If you didn't sleep, you would die.

Now go get some rest.

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: adrug]
    #6743260 -

Its just a theory. The thought im messing with is what if the hallucinations are real. When I was interrogating the voices I was asking them if they were dead people and how they were communicating with me and they responded "We're lucid dreaming" which also sparked a thought in my head. What if the world we live ins just one big lucid dream.


--------------------
Mother goose said to the swan "Is that PCP your cooking?" and the swan replied "Yes, yes it is.

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #6743446 -

i like your thoughts and they are indeed very Buddhist for the most part


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #6743748 -

paranoid schizophrenics are more evolved people who haven't come to terms with themselves yet and are neglecting the basics, that ground each of us to our seat in a one reality.

I have voice issues, mostly that they rarely enunciate properly, and if they do it is most likely too resonant and not as beautific as i expect and demand of radiance. Funny you think of them as dead people, or get the idea they are. I guess we all have our predilections, i kind of presume they are people i know and have met and occasionally try to name them, knowing i will probably get it wrong. A side to this idea is that the voices are a maybe manifestation or echo of the eyes i have gazed upon, kind of making a symbiotic credence to the value i can ascribe to moments out of time, in the eyes of another.

This stuff is interesting but nothing to get too concerned about. I hear what you are saying about the 'guards' and stuff. Kind of like a thought loop i endure sometimes: Q: 'whats wrong with me?' A:'there's lots wrongs with you.' More or less inane babble, when you think about it removed from its slightly unsettling edict.

Dreaming is cool. Read more in P&S or the Wellbeing forum for more enlightenment! That is more or less a memo to myself, i've had a good read or two tonight. The wash of water on hot stones.

My take on the subject matter you deal with would be to think of The Way. I am not Taoist per se, but it is a system, and perhaps this is something that can benefit us. Take the knocks or barbs that arise so easily from that hissing well-spring and watch them flow, liken them to water, be as the water, go where man may be loathe to go! I am no expert, everything is experimental. All things beautific, everything equal and opposite, everything and nothing, green and gold and formless and image imagined. What? Red? dude now you're tripping!

OK not so easy to express, but you get what i'm saying. Empathy.

Peace out, there is much important in us, dying to express itself.


--------------------
read books

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: Jackenobi]
    #6744063 -

You explained alot of things that I couldnt put into words and hadnt even realized there Jack. I dont always think of them as voices of dead people alot of the time I think of them as voices of people I know but for some reason the voices I hear after staying up days on speed are the most abusive and tormenting people I've ever conversed with. They are like teachers but they teach you the hard and painful way. After dealing with these voices and the terrors and paranoid delusions that come with them I've started accelerating myself 50 times more than I ever had in my life.

Its the inspiration I needed to evolve and grow. I was always evolving but at a really slow pace. These voices gave me the kick in the ass I needed to accelerate 100 fold. They literally torment you into questioning every aspect of yourself and improving yourself in every way. I didnt realize how vulnerable I was in my mind until I experienced these voices critising and tormenting me in every way possible.

Another way this has improved my life is its given me empathy. I was always rock solid in my emotions and very little bothered me and always considered everyone else and invulnerable to the little things so I never bothered helping people in small ways when I could have and never took these things into consideration. After seeing myself in a vulnerable state I realize that all of us need help sometimes and every one of us has vulnerabilities so with this realisation im going to dedicate a whole load more of my life to helping people and being a helping hand in general. People were always telling me this and I never took it seriously. Its the little things that make up life. I can see now how true that is now. Ive now gained the inspiration and motivation to strive to perfect every aspect of my life and give a helping hand to others whenever and wherever I can.


--------------------
Mother goose said to the swan "Is that PCP your cooking?" and the swan replied "Yes, yes it is.

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #6765608 -

Good god I had the worst paranoid delusions of my life last night. I woke up in the hospital this morning and remembered how insane the night before was. I started popping speed at 2:00 PM on friday. I spread it out and as usual couldnt get to sleep sunday night. I had the usual voices talking all sorts of mad shit and slight visual hallucinations. Something new happened this time. All of a sudden I got this strong smell of sage or something in my room for no reason at all. It scared the fuck outta me and the voices said it was them doing it.

All of a sudden a song started playing full volume downstairs. I went down and there was nobody there but there was a real strong smell of burning sage or something. I went back up stairs and starting getting this strong smell of burning plastic or rubber everywhere I went. All of a sudden I was convinced that my brain was melting from doing too much speed so in a panic I set the alarm, locked the door, and made my way to the hospital. The voices were saying at 12:00 they were gonna come and finish the job. They said things like "when they do an autopsy all theyre gonna see is a little crack in your kidney but it will look normal cuz you were doing speed and didnt eat" and "dont worry we`ll send flowers to your mother when she comes home and finds you dead". I stopped in the pizza place and got a slice of pizza. It tasted like shit for some reason and a voice said "were controlling all your 5 senses, youve the taste buds of a vegan now so the taste of pepperoni is encumbering".

I got the mother of all frights when I went to get a drink and I thought the guy at the counter had mutated into a demonic looking bastard. It scared the shit outta me before I realized it was a different guy, there was 2 people working there. When I finally ended up in the hospital I walked out of the room for some reason and when I found a clock at one point I saw it was 11:59. The got me paranoid again since the voices were telling me they were going to crack my kidney at 12:00 so I started walking up and down the corridor like a madman and the nurses were telling me to go back to my room but I was telling them my brain was burning and id be dead any minute now. A few minutes after 12:00 i went back to the room and the nurse came in with a blue pill and she says "it will stop the voices" and I couldnt help thinking of the blue pill in the matrix. I didnt wanna take the pill but she said if I didnt take it I couldnt stay in the hospital so I took the fuckin thing.

When the doctor came in to the room he got a fright and jumped back when he walked by the sink where I had been smelling the burning rubber smell the strongest. That was fuckin weird I still have no idea what that was all about. He didnt tell me why he jumped back. After seeing the doctor they gave me a bed to sleep on in the corridor. The only weird things that happened after that was I could smell that burning plastic crap off everybody that walked by. They woke me up at 6 the next morning.

The whole night the voices were calling me a heathen, a terrorist, a rebel, a villain, a demon and a hero. I also kept hearing the words frivolous and serendepity. At one point I asked them why they were messing with me and they replied "your the chosen one, this is a spiritual trial" or some shit like that.

Odd shit to say the least. A few things happened that reinforced my theory. When I was in the pizza place I heard a song that said "its a crazy world stick with the crowd and youll be alright". That sparked a thought inside my head. What if humans are a bunch of sheep and we`re being controlled by some more advanced life form and schizophrenics are just more advanced people that have wandered away from the herd and these voices are like the sheepdogs that try to scare you back into the herd. Maybe like the voices said sleep deprivation connects you to a parallel universe and puts you in between this dimension and another one. It sounds completely retarded but these voices kept telling me that I had been connected to a parallel universe and they were demons and I was stuck in the middle. They also said most people that are connected to this dimension are used as puppets or mediums for the demons but I was too hardheaded to be manipulated.

This serendepity talk makes sense because I think I accidentally made some of the most important discoveries of my life.

Some requisites to survive in the real world.
1.) Never change your view of reality because of what you hear or read. With that being said never believe any religions, media, or anything anyone tells you without having solid proof by having experienced it your self.

2.) Never fear anything. Never let fear dictate your reality.

3.) You must be completely pure and perfect in your own mind. You must be completely free of fears, doubts, worries, shame, guilt, anger, hatred, etc. or they will consume you the minute you decide to tear down your safe illusory world and enter the real world. Anyone that takes psychedelics has a bit of an idea of the impact these negative aspects can have on your when your safe, protective, illusory dream world starts fading away.

My theory is this world is a prison and in order to bypass the prison guards to escape you have to be perfect. You have to be like the greatest Buddhist monk out there and even thats not enough. Unless you achieve all these requisites the guards will cut you down before you even make it to the prison gates.

Maybe the universe speaks in signs and symbols and you have to get rid of your blinders to be able to spot the signs. The signs I saw were

1.) In order to be free you have to attain all the requisites I mentioned above.
2.) Hell is right here on earth. Hell is a state of mind. Hell only exists when you havent attained all those requisites. When i was having heavy delusions I was pondering the though of going to hell and I turned on the TV and the Sopranos was on and I heard hell being mentioned about 5 times. It was an add with clips from different episodes. 1 the guy says "Im going to hell for Tony Soprano" or some shit like that and another one some woman says "If im going to hell I wish god would give me a sign now". The voices kept telling me i was in hell and was in terror. Hell was that delusion fearful state of mind i was in last night. If that was hell then fuck I cant even imagine what heavens like. All it takes is losing fear among a few other things to escape hell.

This is just a theory I constructed from paranoid delusions. Im not claiming anything here. My plan is to spend the next few years of my life perfecting and preparing myself. Im going to completely wipe my self clean of all fears, worries, doubts etc. and the next time I do this I`ll be ready. Becoming a Buddhist monk seems like a reasonable way to go about it.


--------------------
Mother goose said to the swan "Is that PCP your cooking?" and the swan replied "Yes, yes it is.

Edited by jonnyjonjonjon (04/09/07 02:38 PM)

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #6765745 -

compelling stuff, thanks for sharing


--------------------
From dust you are made and to dust you shall return.

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #6766700 -

jonnyjonjonjon said:
I may just be off my rockers completely but I think im approaching the meaning of life.


You will forever be approaching the meaning....
You will always get close to THINKING that you're about to figure it all out....
But, it is like an eternally dangling carrot that is just an inch or two out of reach....

What is the meaning of non-life.....?
When you can figure that out, you will be ever closer to your answer....


>^;;^<


--------------------
I'll be your midnight French Fry....  :naughty:

"The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...."
>^;;^<

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: PhanTomCat]
    #6766909 -

have you ever used a mantra? always, incessantly as best you possibly can?


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #6768700 -

Quote:
When they say if your an evil person your going to hell maybe what they mean is that constant dark and evil thoughts will manifest into hell as a reality for your mind or spirit to inhabit.


Good take! :wink::thumbup:

Quote:
If you murdered a bunch of little kids but you believe that it was a good thing to do and your a holy person for doing it then your thoughts will manifest into positive things even thought what you did was sick and evil.


Great point!

Heh…

Maybe the meaning of life is subjective, and that that is an objective meaning of life?
Maybe your purpose is to achieve a state of invulnerability mentally and spiritually? …
While others purpose/’meaning for/of life” is to grow trees?

So much might/may be… :wink:

How could anyone insult you, unless you took/made it personal for yourself? (!) :wink:

Quote:
What if you had voices constantly taunting you and insulting you in any way possible all day?


And what if that voice was your own self?
Either way, ... can ‘anyone’ force you to listen? Or can ‘one’ only be forced to have to hear it? (See a/the difference?)

Also, why think of the thoughts as being from “them”?
E.g. I might think like you stated; "What makes you so tough?", … 
Just changing one word, and claiming the thoughts as my own, would sound; "What makes me so tough?", … 

The vocabulary used, can change the way one think!

“Be as free, as you know you are!”
~ Ünknown


[BTW; Once the visuals start when I finally get sleepy, and go to bed and sleep, I too tend to 'think' like if the "dream-characters" are speaking to me, formulating it as you did in your initial post here.] Interesting ponderings...

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #6772903 -

johnnyjonjonjon: Makes me wonder. Maybe schizo's and lunatics are just more evolved people who are almost ready to transcend this reality and are facing all sorts of mental tests and challenges to provoke them and make them struggle to attain a state of pureness and invulnerability required to transcend this reality. Or maybe theyre just paranoid delusional lunatics.

I would define "schizophrenia" as the collapse of the ego, or more specifically, the dissolution of one's sense of self-identity -- mainstream psychiatry does not share my opinion. Meanwhile, I realize you will make your own choices but it might be to your benefit to investigate some drug-free forms of exploration: drumming, music, dancing, breathwork, meditation, contemplation, etc.

You also might want to tuck this link away in case you need it at some future point: Recovery from Psychosis & Schizophrenia

Best of luck.


.


--------------------
~ Kindness is cheap.  It's unkindness that always demands the highest price.

Blogs: Spiritual Emergency | Spiritual Recovery | Voices of Recovery | A Jungian Approach to Psychosis

Edited by spiritualemerg (04/10/07 10:26 PM)

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: spiritualemerg]
    #6773272 -

This is really amazing stuff. I see many themes in your thoughts shared with mine, especially your attitude with regards to your experiences. Though I feel a really fine line is being walked here and it's only going to get thinner...

I think that what's important in what your saying is not whether it's correct or not, but whether it's a decent metaphor for what is correct. "Correct" being that which cultivates strength/discovery/evolution/wonder.


--------------------
"Misery only doth exist, none miserable,

No doer is there; naught save the deed is found.

Nirvana is, but not the man who seeks it.

The Path exists, but not the traveler on it."

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #9521495 -

I constantly browse shroomery (pardon my abruptness) and this was one of my favorite topics. going to bump to further discussion. i do not judge people even when they throw facts out there.

for example, I found the op's words to make sense until I read he experiments or experimented with meth and is a schizophrenic (which has different definitions to different people)


--------------------
"As we increasingly master our perceptions, beliefs, and thought/feeling patterns, we magnetically attract that which we most desire."
-Luanne Oakes

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: jonnyjonjonjon]
    #9521578 -

Your body requires at least seven hours of sleep every night. The body uses this time to repair itself, and organize for the next day.  If you do not sleep your body will not function properly.  I would also like to add; nothing good comes from speed.

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: C.M. Mann]
    #9521595 -

I disagree, lots of good comes from speed, for me anyways. :pill: :thumbup:


--------------------
hello, your name is life on earth
------------------------------------

"I traveled a long way seeking God, but when I finally gave up and turned back, there He was, within me! O Lalli! Now why do you wander like a beggar? Make some effort, and He will grant you a vision of Himself in the form of bliss in your heart." -the saint of the Kashmir Shaivism tradition: Lalli.

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Re: Theory on sleep deprivation [Re: JCoke]
    #9521879 -

Very few people are able to control their amphetamine intake.  If someone could keep it at less than a habit, then I agree some good is possible.

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General Interest > Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology
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