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people always asking "are you ok?"
    #5484326 -

Just wondering if anyone else here is used to people asking you "Are you alright?" on somewhat of a constant basis.  I am by no means depressed, and have not been for more than a few years, other than few major events here and there, like losing family members / etc.

I notice that even those who I would expect to know me seem to show concern, whenever I am focused on my own things.  For instance, I could actually be working, as it would be obvious to see me deep into a book, or perhaps drawing, or writing, or whatever, and (friends) will try to start conversations about "the latest south park" or "have you tried the new sandwich from _______" or "whats up, wheres the party at tonight?"

For reasons unknown to me (or at least unknown to those that ask) these questions are usually so trivial to me that I simply ignore them and continue with what I was doing.  Maybe thats an asshole thing to do, but i've been noticing many people lately asking me if everything is ok, (by the way, if you were wondering, everything is great, when im not being bothered!  haha  :rolleyes:)  Id like to point out many of these people I have only met within the past year or so, I am actually a little insulted (for lack of a better word) that so many would assume so much, as if they knew me.

Or perhaps im just a cold, insensitive person that doesnt care how you are doing, and this is my punishment  :grin:

can anyone relate?


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No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: kotik]
    #5484798 -

I can totally relate right now man... I just go through times when I get really focused on something, and I'll sit in my room all day (I live with 3 people and there's always a party going on), and every 5 minutes someone knocks on the door to ask what's wrong because I'm not out partying.

It puts you in a bad mood even when you aren't.

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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" *DELETED* [Re: twoconversations]
    #5485186 -

Post deleted by Ferris

Reason for deletion: .



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Discuss Politics

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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: kotik]
    #5485255 -

Introvert, much? :smirk:

Yeah I hear ya on that one, kotik. I tend to get asked if I'm angry, or told that I look angry. It happens most when I'm deep in thought about something, I guess my look of concentration looks like anger :grin:

I don't like trivial conversation most of the time either, so I tend to ignore it (note that "trivial" is from my personal viewpoint). Ignoring it doesn't always work, so sometimes a few quick one-word replies will get the point accross that I'm not interested.

Try and find some more introverted friends. That could help, too.


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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: Ferris] * 1
    #5485266 -

Ferris said:
I think that's unhealthy man. It sounds like they may be putting out random conversation starters because they don't know you well enough to ask one that may interest you. I've seen this hundreds of times, try to be more social man, you should enjoy life with other people


Why do you think it's unhealthy?

You should understand that a good portion of people are not energized by interaction with other people. Instead they are tired out by socializing and interacting with others. It's one of the main differences between being Introverted (generally not a people person) and Extroverted (people person).

I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with it. Some people just need less socializing than others. Others need far less.


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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: trendal]
    #5485302 -

lets say a person is very very introverted. To the point where he has no friends and talks to nobody but family members. He has phone numbers of old friends but these numbers are years old. lost and hopeless what is one to do....honestly the only concern this person has is finding a female companion(wife). Friends have almost no bearing at this point. Not to say he doesn't want any just that whenever around people he finds nothing at all to comment about...completly lost to the world...

whats one to do?


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We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.

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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: makaveli8x8]
    #5485311 -

First I would suggest that the person look up "schizotypal" and "schizoid" personalities. Both involve a high degree of isolation and a near-total lack of want to be around other people.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizotypal

Schizotypal is almost the same as schizoid, except schizotypal personalities are more "eccentric" and may involve beliefs in paranormal abilities and such.

Both, I think, can be treated with psychotherapy.

On a personal level, I would suggest just physically making an effort to get out and socialize. If finding a woman is a concern, I think there are many good online dating services now. Most of them attempt to match people based on personality.


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Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: trendal]
    #5485455 -

just for the record, im not antisocial, and I am not a shut-in.  Yes, I am introverted and happy with being that way.  And honestly, I have no problems being around people, speaking in public, confronting someone with an opposing view, or starting conversations with strangers.

Meeting new people is not an issue, never has been.

you know whats crazy though... that list under Schizoid on wiki paints a pretty good picture:

   
Quote:
* Emotional coldness, detachment or reduced affectivity.
    * Limited capacity to express either positive or negative emotions towards others.
    * Consistent preference for solitary activities.
    * Very few (if any) close friends or relationships, and a lack of desire for such.
    * Indifference to either praise or criticism.
    * Taking pleasure in few, if any, activities.
    * Indifference to social norms and conventions.
    * Preoccupation with fantasy and introspection.
    * Lack of desire for sexual experiences with another person.


whats crazy about it, is that this could just as easily explain someone who is introverted, calm and collected.  When reading these "signs" I imagine the exact opposite, to get an idea of who would be "normal."  So this is what I come back with:

    * Over emotional, taking things too personal
    * Constantly expressing either positive or negative emotions towards others.
    * Consistent preference for group activities.
    * so many close friends or relationships, and the always the desire for more
    * hyper-sensitivity towards either praise or criticism.
    * Doing activities, only for the pleasure
    * Complete obedience to social norms and conventions.
    * Preoccupation with cold facts and avoiding introspection at all costs.
    * Overwhelming desire for sexual experiences with another person.


now i didnt have to change much, just a word here or there.. and now that list would reflect someone "normal" but still quite strange to me.

so back to the topic at hand, I also notice giving out short answers or even just shruging sholders or nodding my head, without even giving eye contact.  Again this usually isny to get rid of people around me, but to get rid of people around me that are proving to be distractions.

And yes, if Jessica Alba wanted me to stop everything, best believe I would  :thumbup:

edit:  id like to add here that deep down, past the facade of social interaction and "community" which in many cases is just groupthink, we are all, utterly alone with ourselves.  I would imagine that anyone who is in constant need of approval and support of a group, would have a much harder time dealing with personal issues by themselves.  So in that sense, solidarity makes for a stronger individual, but perhaps a weaker community.  ?  just throwing that last bit out there as a theory / question.


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No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

Edited by kotik (04/06/06 04:55 AM)

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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: kotik]
    #5485473 -

lots of people don't have respect for personal space...
unfortunatly reading a book, writing a jurnal or listening to music are taken lighty by people!
no one would feel bad to just come up and invade your space with their issues when you don't seem to be doing anything "important"
that's just the way people are and i don't think there's anything you can do about it really... you can keep acting like you do and risk "offending" people but you shouldn't care about that.
if it's close friends you can talk about it and ask to be respected in your personal space and hopfully understood as well...
just as long as you keep interacting with them when you're not busy


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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: kotik]
    #5485611 -

Introvert and proud  :sun:

I guess the best reply I could think of for that question would be... "I'm great!!!!!!!! ARE YOU OK?????!"


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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: Shroomism]
    #5485640 -

are you ok?

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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: goobler]
    #5485893 -

you guys shouldn't be trying to fix him.

Jeeeeeze.

Everything's a disorder. If you type tings like tings instead of "things" and teh instead of "the" it's probably a disorder. If you sit down in the shower it's probably a disorder. If you enjoy tantric masturbation and therefore have no sex drive for other humans it's probably a disorder. But could easily get up the arousal if you wanted to have sex with them, just you aren't a slave to your biology it's probably a disorder.

Hell if you perform shamanic drumming or let your hands automatically draw things for you (which I might add kind of scare me! they're pretty dark looking) it's probably a disorder. Experiencing spontaneous movement through being in tune with muscle memory while performing tai chi is probably a disorder.

Using psychedelic drugs for spiritual motivation is probably a disorder. Being an introvert is probably a disorder. Being healthy is probably a disorder.

Hmmm. Most of these things I do.

Anyway...... are you happy? if so, who the hell cares about anything else? Some people live their whole lives meditating and being largely silent and they are happier than anyone else in this forsaken reality ever could be. Some people spend their lives constantly partying and are probably damn happy too.

I hate idle chatter.... it HAS to pave way to something greater which implies a bond on some sort of level, physical, emotional, intellectual... humorus........ otherwise it's just a long worthless conversation about pop culture.... yeah that sandwich was good... i sure do like Quiznos..... and yeah it'd be cool to go out on a date I suppose...... no i don't really think she's hot..........

idle chitter is fine (yeah i said chitter) if it leads somewhere.... but if I were immersed in auto-drawing or drumming or dancing or trying to get in tune with my body via spontaneous movement and someone came up and tried to talk to me about South Park I'd be a little irked................ I relate completely.

See the hard thing is, some people may behave like "you" or "us" because they ARE depressed, but some may be behaving that way because it's how they truely are on the inside, and they are finally cutting free from pretending to be "normal" so that they can live at their own pace.

if you didn't interact at all with humans then i'd say hell, maybe that's an issue? But you know what, as aloof as I am, quiet, alienated..... I will .... be able to have a completely open conversation with you .... if I feel you are ON MY LEVEL....... I hang out with my old friends and they joke about violence and you know... typical things.... and maybe I'll throw in a dirty joke or a joke about drugs (and they all hate my drug use as they saw me freak out really bad on alcohol so want me to be sober) ...... but for the most part all I do is sit... listen.... and so people that don't know me well are always like "He's just sitting there like a bump on a log" well what do you say? You know? Generally if I have something to say... I say it.

There is nothing worse than speaking yet ... you AREN'T SAYING ANYTHING ... I immediately feel the hollowness of artifical forced words, laughs, gestures.... pierce my soul. It's so hollow... artificial.... haha-yah-hah! Why be like that if you don't mean it? I am what I mean, to my biggest capacity. I could use some fostering of more extroverted qualities, perhaps by being really goofy and random and odd to people.......

but ........................... hell. I am how I should be. Many people aren't in tune with what they are, but rather with playing social games. I love interaction with people who love interaction and seem in tune on higher levels, frequencies, chakras...... more in line with altruistic love by default and intellectual pursuits...... than those who are more in tune with lower socially sanctioned drives.

With them... they talk about girls. Fucking. Drinking. Generally not trippping. Sports. Sports. Sports. TV. What do I have to say? I dont like the matrix very much.... people who consider it real life.... hell..... I'll talk to them if I can..... if I feel the drive to, but......

does this make me disordered? I'm on the path toward eventual liberation and currently in a period of self-discovery where I'm living for ME, not for other people.... is that a disorder?

consider Metta.... I believe a state of constant overwhelming joy and thankfulness toward the most basic of comforts that life has provided you, a certain state of illumination along the Buddhist path..... now .... take Buddhism out of the equation and this person is just a "nutjob" to societies eyes.... they are sentimental about being able to have toilet paper. I say that's amazing, that you feel blessed to be able to eat, sleep, and this thankfulness permeates your entire being... transforming you. I say, that's SANITY...... all this stuff, we are so lucky to have. But take the religion away, just look at the behavior, someone would say "this person is manic!"


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I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

Edited by leery11 (04/06/06 09:50 AM)

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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: leery11]
    #5485934 -

...if you post really long drawn out points




you're probably a Redneck errr I mean its probably a disorder

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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: goobler]
    #5486229 -

It's called I have a lot say-itis.

Markedly different but related to onelinemonia, which is infectuous in nature.


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I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: kotik]
    #5486446 -

They're hoping you won't say "no, I'm not"

Surprise them, and they'll never ask the question again.  They're only pretending to care :wink:


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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: blink]
    #5486636 -

actually thats not a bad idea:

"hey man, are you feeling ok?"

- no, actually im not

"whats wrong?"

- i feel that social interactions have lost all meaning, and i have been losing hope in the human race.

"oh"


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No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: kotik] * 1
    #5488393 -

Quote:
kotik said:can anyone relate?


Yes. Just realize that people are only looking out for you. Answer them back and tell them you are ok or doing something. I used to do the same thing with not acknowledging people and I found that it was because of my negative attitude. If you are doing something, then you should be cognative. I used to brood about other people and just get caught up in judgement and stuff - it led to anxiety and all this crap. Sometimes you have to learn how to just go to your happy place. Shut your eyes and imagine colors. Meditate (even around others, yes). Think about stuff. Look at stuff. Do something, even if it's conciously breathing.

Ofcourse there is a time and place to be polite and focus on everyone else, but it doesn't sound like that's your problem. Just don't start zoning out into daydream land while taking to others. I've also had problems with that. =x

An example is this: I will analyze people's behaviour and start thinking 'this is why they did that. bla bla judge judge.' That is all - 100% - USELESS. Live in the now and say something or just experience it without judgement. You are a human being with emotions and intellegence. Use what you've got.


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Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.

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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #5489023 -

hobbitcg said:
Quote:
kotik said:can anyone relate?


Yes. Just realize that people are only looking out for you. Answer them back and tell them you are ok or doing something.


They'll keep asking.


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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: blink]
    #5489060 -

not if you scream it then laugh maniacally
]

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Re: people always asking "are you ok?" [Re: blink]
    #5490670 -

blinkidiot said:
hobbitcg said:
Quote:
kotik said:can anyone relate?


Yes. Just realize that people are only looking out for you. Answer them back and tell them you are ok or doing something.


They'll keep asking.


Maybe. Use your discretion for the response, but respond. They are your friend and they deserve your respect.

If they ask you just a few times here n there - who cares. If they ask you too much, poke fun at them.


--------------------
Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.

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