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Anonymous #1

introverted and frustrated
    #16231453 - 05/14/12 08:09 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

I have always tried to take advantage of the fact that life is a beautiful thing. Normally I am very optimistic and creative. But I am also a very introverted person. I like hanging out with people and stuff and most of the time I can establish a good connection with people, even though it can be be rough, and awkward. You know, things eye contact, thinking faster than I'm speaking, trying to hard to be funny, saying something and then beating myself up later saying "that was stupid." Things like that

I am starting to get frustrated. I mean should I just avoid social interactions altogether? I think I would grow more lonely than I already am.

Most of my best friends have fallen into the party scene. Some of my most loyal elementary school buddies. It seems like I have become a last resort if there is absolutely nothing going on in their fantastic YOLO lives.I never get invited anywhere ever, but I don't even really have a desire to party or anything. I'd rather catch a good movie or just relax by myself. But it's all anyone ever does anymore. Party. I've smoked weed since like eighth grade and everyone was all shocked and had to fucking alienate me. Now everyone smokes weed and shit and it's really annoying. Thats why I slowed down. I guess I was just way ahead of the curve, but its frustrating none of my friends have seen the light. Now all they do is get drunk every night and push me aside. I don't even know why I have a cell phone or a facebook page anymore.

So I'm trying to accept the fact that people go their seperate ways, and yes I realize I'm an introvert. But I'm still awkward and lonely. Yeah I'm smart, creative, clever, and talented. I just wish I could be happier and more confident, maybe even a little aggressive with people. Maybe it's not in the cards? Maybe/hopefully I will meet people like me. I don't know what to do, I'm really frustrated and find myself becoming easily depressed.

Please help me


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Offlinehappymealplease
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Registered: 07/14/11
Posts: 535
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
Re: introverted and frustrated [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16231548 - 05/14/12 08:23 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

being smart creative clever and talented doesn't mean squat if you isolate yourself, and the solution to feeling lonely isn't to isolate yourself further.  people you get along with aren't just going to fall in your lap, and even if you find people you like sometimes they're going to do things that piss you off and make you want to leave, and if you do you'll just end up back where you are now.

it's about compromise.  if you aren't willing to smoke weed and get drunk to hang onto your current friends (because really if they invite you out to do these things, they do and you choose not to they're going to notice and stop calling you), then you'll need to compromise a bit to find people who share at least some of your interests.  this doesn't mean you have to whore yourself out but if you're introverted, you're gonna have to become a bit more of an extrovert and deal with the anxiety and fear that comes with that new territory.  the earlier you start the more time you'll have to practice and become adjusted to it.


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OfflineMycography
Stranger Danger
Male


Registered: 03/30/12
Posts: 50
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Re: introverted and frustrated [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16231554 - 05/14/12 08:24 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

You really have nothing to be depressed about. You are ahead of the crowd. Now you just need to figure out where to direct all that talent and built on it. Not to be funny but if you build it they will come, lol. Stop reminiscing on missed moments. Start focusing on yourself and others will notice and you will open opportunities to meet other like minded people; people who are past the partying stage.

And don't worry about classifications like introverts or extroverts. Often classifications can change just by changing environment. If you had more like minded people around you where you are able to openly express your talents, would you still consider yourself an introvert?


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I'm a fool, don't believe anything I type.


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OfflineSmoky McPot
Fool
Male


Registered: 03/16/11
Posts: 921
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
Re: introverted and frustrated [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16231617 - 05/14/12 08:34 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

NO!  Do not avoid social interaction that will just make things worse.

Trust me, I used to be just like you described, socially awkward, beating myself up for stupid things I said etc. etc. 
The best thing I ever did for this was just start talking to everybody.  Seriously just talk to people whenever you have the chance.  At first it's weird and uncomfortable, but the more you do it the less awkward it will become. 

When I first started doing this, I still beat myself up over stupid stuff I'd say, but eventually I started talking to so many people in one day I would barely remember one conversation from the other let alone the stupid shit I said. 

Just say whatever you think, don't worry about what the other people are gonna think of you.  If they cant except you for who you really are, there is always more people out there. 

Social interaction just takes practice.  The more you practice the better you'll be at interacting with others.


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[quote]
Free.Your.Mind said:
jesus btw had part alien DNA
how do you think was able to preform miracles?
i look at the bible from a scientific stand point [/quote]            :africaface:


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OfflineImaginingEmotions
SkyjumpingDude


Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 1,489
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
Re: introverted and frustrated [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16231736 - 05/14/12 08:49 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

I know exactly what you mean. Kinda still going through that myself.

Last fall I broke up with my GF of 3.5 years. She's a big presence in this town's party scene, she doesn't drink per se, but she tokes and smokes. She also fuels the fires of hatred with the mindless ranting that they all seem to LOVE to do as constant pastime.

Now that I am away from it, its a big relief. I've been focusing on myself, hitting up the gym, trying to get my finances in order, eating better, basically learning to take better care of myself. Its a rough road, mainly because habits are fucking hard to break, as well as make, especially since I was a big part of that scene myself.

I have noticed though, as I keep pursuing my own interests more and more, the group of people around me seems to change. It's like I'm feeding the roots of my life with miracle grow, and what I'm seeing come into fruition is looking better and better every day.

Keep doing what you like, no... LOVE to do. Persevere through the hard times and expand your reach. Soon you will be the person you've always wanted to be. I've also noticed that sometimes what you love to do can look like work, because in reality... it takes time and energy like anything else. NIKE says it best... 'Just do it!' (im not being bias towards nike either, their shoes are uncomfortable to me, im a puma guy)

Also you gotta remember to breathe. Take big deep breaths and sigh as much as you can. Sigh's are just us letting the tensions in our body go(which are often controlled by your emotions) You're body remembers to breathe again and then you get that momentary sense of relaxation. People learning to meditate are usually told by books and instructors to focus on the breath for this reason.

Take it slow. Breathe. And focus on self progression holistically.


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OfflineImaginingEmotions
SkyjumpingDude


Registered: 11/09/09
Posts: 1,489
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
Re: introverted and frustrated [Re: Mycography]
    #16231740 - 05/14/12 08:51 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Mycography said:
You really have nothing to be depressed about. You are ahead of the crowd. Now you just need to figure out where to direct all that talent and built on it. Not to be funny but if you build it they will come, lol. Stop reminiscing on missed moments. Start focusing on yourself and others will notice and you will open opportunities to meet other like minded people; people who are past the partying stage.

And don't worry about classifications like introverts or extroverts. Often classifications can change just by changing environment. If you had more like minded people around you where you are able to openly express your talents, would you still consider yourself an introvert?




:whathesaid:


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Anonymous #1

Re: introverted and frustrated [Re: ImaginingEmotions]
    #16231810 - 05/14/12 09:01 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

okay, Thanks guys


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OfflineSimms
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Registered: 11/17/08
Posts: 1,109
Loc: Somewhere in Europe
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: introverted and frustrated [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16238635 - 05/16/12 06:05 AM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I have always tried to take advantage of the fact that life is a beautiful thing. Normally I am very optimistic and creative. But I am also a very introverted person. I like hanging out with people and stuff and most of the time I can establish a good connection with people, even though it can be be rough, and awkward. You know, things eye contact, thinking faster than I'm speaking, trying to hard to be funny, saying something and then beating myself up later saying "that was stupid." Things like that

I am starting to get frustrated. I mean should I just avoid social interactions altogether? I think I would grow more lonely than I already am.

Most of my best friends have fallen into the party scene. Some of my most loyal elementary school buddies. It seems like I have become a last resort if there is absolutely nothing going on in their fantastic YOLO lives.I never get invited anywhere ever, but I don't even really have a desire to party or anything. I'd rather catch a good movie or just relax by myself. But it's all anyone ever does anymore. Party. I've smoked weed since like eighth grade and everyone was all shocked and had to fucking alienate me. Now everyone smokes weed and shit and it's really annoying. Thats why I slowed down. I guess I was just way ahead of the curve, but its frustrating none of my friends have seen the light. Now all they do is get drunk every night and push me aside. I don't even know why I have a cell phone or a facebook page anymore.

So I'm trying to accept the fact that people go their seperate ways, and yes I realize I'm an introvert. But I'm still awkward and lonely. Yeah I'm smart, creative, clever, and talented. I just wish I could be happier and more confident, maybe even a little aggressive with people. Maybe it's not in the cards? Maybe/hopefully I will meet people like me. I don't know what to do, I'm really frustrated and find myself becoming easily depressed.

Please help me





Welcome to the club, my friend.

I try to be creative, working on my future and making plans. but there are times when i feel like utter crap and get really lonely, mostly they are summers when everyone is away partying. Feels like shit.


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Anonymous #1

Re: introverted and frustrated [Re: Simms]
    #16240726 - 05/16/12 03:16 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Simms said:


Welcome to the club, my friend.

I try to be creative, working on my future and making plans. but there are times when i feel like utter crap and get really lonely, mostly they are summers when everyone is away partying. Feels like shit.




Good to know I'm not alone. I just.. I don't know. It sucks, and it can get me really frustrated. But like most people are saying on here, I am going to a) keep doing my own creative thing, even if I am lacking somewhat of a social life and b) I am going to try to put myself out there, even just a little bit.

But still, I feel like my plans always fall through or maybe even my friends are avoiding me.

For example, about a month ago, I called my friend (one of my best friends) the second I found out a rave was coming with a super sick lineup. So I called him up and at first he sounded really excited but over the next few days he'd be like "oh, I'm not sure" or "I totally broke dude sorry," to finally "No, I'm not gonna go, sorry." So I was super bummed, but I'm like fuck it whatever there will be plenty of chances to have fun this summer. I mean the tickets were pretty expensive and the prices were only going to go up anyway. Fuck it.

Fast forward to today, he shoots me a text "hey I'm going you should toally go," But now the rave is like a week away, and I'm probably gonna be out of town on a fishing trip with my dad. I might be able to get back just in time, but its just like... Fuck. I still want to go, but the tickets are going to be really pricey. I doubt I will go. I feel like this shit happens to me all the time. Either I will want to do something and people will be busy, or they will go out and have fun and not hit me up, or I try to make plans and they fail terribly, or they follow through on these plans, without me.


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InvisibleLuddite
I watch Fox News
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Registered: 03/23/06
Posts: 2,946
Re: introverted and frustrated [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16241059 - 05/16/12 04:12 PM (11 years, 8 months ago)

How is associating with bums supposed to give your life more meaning?  I used to have a bunch of drinking buddies and nothing ever came of our partying.


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