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OfflineRedstorm
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Dreams
    #5128427 - 01/01/06 11:02 AM (18 years, 2 months ago)

This thread was brought on by an extremely vivid dream I had last night. It could either be posted in the Support forum or here, but I'm not looking for advice, but merely to share, so I'll post it here.

A little background:

Recently, my girlfriend of six years and I have called it quits. Note that I am only 20 years old, so this relationship accounted for over 1/4 of my life. Over this period of time with her, I have relied more and more on her for my entire social contact, and had stopped going out often and/or seeing my friends. I have been in a weird state of mind since the split, still being conditioned to being in a relationship while actually being single. Add this to the fact that I have no idea how to "act single" or play the dating game, and you can see how I am in limbo with where I am to go in the future.

Anyways, onto the dream. It may seem muddled and odd-sounding since dreams are relatively hard to explain, but I insist that this dream could not have addressed where I am in my life any more clearly.

---------------------------------------------------

The first thing I remember was standing on a large, stone structure over a large lake. The structure was natural, but was very complex. It consisted of many huge , various-shaped rocks and was well over three-hundred feet tall. As I looked around at my surroundings I could see that the lake below me was a clear-blue color, much like the water of tropical climates. Below the water, I could see that instead of having a clay, sand, or rock bed, it instead had a glass floor. Below this floor were people conversing with each other and, in general, living normal lives.

Once I gathered my environment, I realized that standing on the structure with me was my ex (Cathy). She looked at me directly in the eyes and said, "It's going to give". With that, she disappeared and the structure began to rumble. First small pieces of the rock formation, and then larger pieces, began to break off and fall into the water below. As I tried to steady myself on top of the ever-crumbling rocks, I realized that it was going to crumble with me standing on it. I did not want to leave the rocks, for fear of the terrifying drop into the water. At the same time, I could not stay on the rocks and be crushed in their descent into the water. At this point a voice, which now is unclear as to who it belonged to, said, "You know you have to jump". After hearing that, I gathered every ounce of courage I owned and leaped into the crystal-clear water.

With this leap, the perspective of the dream changed. I was still myself, but was not contained in the same body that had made the jump. It was as if I had two bodies, one watching the other make the suicidal jump into the lake. I watched my body slip through the water and shatter the glass floor of the bed, falling through it. Peculiarly enough, no water followed through the hole that I had just created.

In my new body, I became horrified and deeply saddened at what I had just watched myself do. This part is relatively blurry as well, but I remember running through cave-like buildings until I came to the space under the lake. As my new body was just about to turn the corner to reach the room my body had fallen to, I saw a crowd around my crumpled, bleeding body on the ground. I fell to my knees and began to weep furiously, without any hope of stopping. Soon after, though, I heard a murmer through the crowd, and received news that my fall from precarious heights, the shattering of the glass, nor the hard fall to the cave floor had not killed me. I was broken, but not beyond mending. With this, I became joyous as I had never been before. I realized that I could make it through the fall, and that I would survive. Even still in the dream, I understood what this meant in my waking life. Then I awoke.

---------------------------------------------------

There are so many meanings in this dream, it blows my mind. I often have very vivid, meaningful dreams, but this one takes the figurative cake.

It took my ex clearly spelling it out and then leaving me to realize that I needed to abandon my comfortable way of living, which on the surface seemed like an ageless unshakeable foundation, but in reality was a wobbly illusion resting on moving fault plates.

Also reflected was the need of me to regain some sort of a social life. I have irritable bowel syndrome, which is aggravated by stress and social anxiety, so I have been using my ex as a crutch to avoid having to be in the social situations . By taking the leap of faith into the water, I rejoined the people who I have not had meaningful contact with in years.

Though I was injured horribly by my leap and impact, I realized that I would regain myself. Though my heart and mind may seem like they are mortally wounded by my recent split, I now know that it is not the truth. I will go one, and the scars will may me stronger.

I just wanted to share this with you people, and even though, this isn't the type of thread normally posted in S&P, I would appreciate it to stay hear since what I want to hear is reflection, not sympathy. I want to hear your own experiences with dreams in times of turmoil or unease, and how they relate (if at all) to you working through the times.

Most of all, I thank you for reading my post. I realize it's long, and probably not too clear, but I had to get it down so I could read it over. Perhaps this will help someone who is in a situation like mine. Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors, I had only slept 5 hours before waking up to this dream, and have not been able to resume my sleep. :wink:

Thank you again and Happy New Years!  :heart:

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InvisibleIcelander
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Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
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Re: Dreams [Re: Redstorm]
    #5128485 - 01/01/06 11:52 AM (18 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks for sharing this beautiful transformational dream. It seemed very clear to me as it was to you. I'm glad that your connection to your healing nature is flowing so well. You will have to forge ahead and confront your fears and do your work, but it seems to me that your spirit is telling you that you are ready for such a challenge. Many blessings to you in this new year. It is amazing that we are continually asked to let go of every single thing that life gives to us. At the end we will be asked to surrender this dream of life. It was really a pleasure to read your post. Much love to you. :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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OfflineRedstorm
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Re: Dreams [Re: Icelander]
    #5128637 - 01/01/06 01:17 PM (18 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks for commenting, Icelander. I hoped I made the dream easy enough to understand for everyone who can't read my mind. :wink: I had to break out some of my Creative Writing 101 skills. :grin:

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