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My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration?
    #4723516 -

So here's the deal. For about 4-5 years now I have played with the idea of joining the Army. I was once about a week away, but smoked weed and could no longer pass the entrance drug test. Instead of quitting again, I kept right on smoking.

I have constantly gone back and forth on whether or not it is the right move. I have never been able to hold a "proper" job because while working I long to be in a distant land engaged in combat(or at least occupying or maneuvering). It's been like this for years.
But about a year ago I started to notice that I am drawn towards all things military. Uniforms, fighting, discipline(all around proper conduct), and audio and visual materials.
I will be walking through the library on my way to the music section and I will come across a biography of a General(in the kids section no less) and am compelled to sit down and read it. Or I will be watching TV and can't help but turning on the military channel for hours on end.
I study military history and strategy and love it all. There is a certain romanticism involved in being part of conquest; especially a leading role. A certain joy in going off to war and returning successfully.
It's like I am being driven to these things by a force. What force I do not know.

Now, the strange part. The other night I was with friends and we were marinating ourselves and doing the usual weekend thing. Well, I had to use the facilities and when I got up a strange feeling came over my body. Everything went white and I instinctively dropped to my knees.
I can't explain what happened during these next few moments, but I came out of it shortly after with the knowledge that my mission in life is to join the Army. I didn't give it much thought at the time(I was partying damnit), but that night I laid in bed and pondered what had transpired.
That was Friday.

Today I was filing out an application and just couldn't bear to finish. Writing down my personal information I realized that I can receive no sense of fulfillment from any occupation outside of soldiering. This, combined with a few other major events(that I do not wish to discuss on a public forum) have left me with what I see as a clear cut path.
This weekend I intend to brief my family, and notify them of my intent to give them the things I feel they most need. Give my sister whatever money she needs for the next 3 years of college, pay to have my parents and grandparents homes fixed up. Maybe buy my dad an old muscle car and my mom whatever she would like. Get my brother the money to take care of his legal/financial obligations.
Then I will take my closest friends to dinner and have a party or three.

Within a few months I should(it is not certain, but as close as can be) be off on my way. I will be doing much hardcore introspection during this time, utilizing any tools at my disposal(hallucinogens, meditation, etc.) starting this weekend. I have already decided that I will head off to the woods and rough it for at least a week, probably two.

I wish myself the best and hope that everyone gets the chance to experience a moment of clarity similar to what I did Friday.


Have you ever had a similar "moment of clarity"? Did you follow through on the "message"?


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"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: daimyo]
    #4723858 -

I have had one of those moments and also did the whole "should I join?" and pot got in the way once...which now I'm grateful for. I do not want to be a souldier....although the thought still creeps in my head.

Good luck with all that man. I hope you enjoy bootcamp and where ever they send you.

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: MJF]
    #4724103 -

We're all behind you man, keep yourself safe, I hope you can post wherever you are stationed. I respect the hell out of our troops and anyone who trash talks them can eat shit as far as I'm concerned.

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: daimyo]
    #4724438 -

Well the thought that you find fulfillment in killing humans that haven't harmed you is very interesting. It's not like I don't ever have those thoughts and feelings but I know where they come from and why they come up for me and I have no desire to act on them.

I think you should follow your heart. If you need to go then go dude. I wish for you exactally what happens. :thumbup: Report back please. I will be very curious to hear.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: MJF]
    #4724511 -

MJF said:
I have had one of those moments and also did the whole "should I join?" and pot got in the way once...which now I'm grateful for


I am also quite grateful that it held me up until this point. If I would have joined when I originally intended, I can't say for certain that there would not have been doubt in my mind. I may not have had my heart fully in it. I know now that it is what I want. It's like smoking and not joining made me appreciate it that much more. It also allowed me more time to study. A lesson for the better.


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"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: daimyo]
    #4724518 -

are you going to give up the drugs up when you enlist?


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"consensus on the nature of equilibrium is usually established by periodic conflict." -henry kissinger

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: Flop Johnson]
    #4724525 -

MoeRon said:
We're all behind you man, keep yourself safe, I hope you can post wherever you are stationed.


Thank you.  I will absolutely do my best to post no matter how infrequent.  I intend to keep a log/diary of the events starting with the first day of boot camp.  Try and give the Shroomery an insiders perspective.

MoeRon said:
I respect the hell out of our troops and anyone who trash talks them can eat shit as far as I'm concerned.


Agreed.  :usa:


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"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: Icelander]
    #4724565 -

Icelander said:
Well the thought that you find fulfillment in killing humans that haven't harmed you is very interesting. It's not like I don't ever have those thoughts and feelings but I know where they come from and why they come up for me and I have no desire to act on them.


It's not so much the thought of killing humans. I admit that I am very curious about this experience however.

My main motivation is to change things for the better. I can't stand where our country has gone/is going. I am not willing to sit by the wayside and watch things deteriorate further.
Voting will not solve anything, protests won't solve anything, bitching won't solve anything.
I've thought about making a lot of money and buying my way to influence, but it feels filthy. I also do not want to end up in jail where I can do nothing. So I'll have to suck it up and go through some unpleasant experiences and rise through the ranks. When I have the power to do what I see fit, I will.


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"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: crunchytoast]
    #4724585 -

crunchytoast said:
are you going to give up the drugs up when you enlist?


Not forever, but I do not intend to be getting high while on duty.

However, if/when I return(or am on leave for a decent amount of time) I will most certainly dose heavily and review the events. Could be hellish, could be strengthening(probably both). Make an interesting report either way.


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"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: daimyo]
    #4724589 -

all i can say is.. .do well on the ASVAB (study if you really need too, but you shouldn't.. it is like a test you would give a 6th grader).

oh ya, and forget the army. chair force is certainly the best place for a thinker.. unless you are into the whole turning your brain off and embracing the group mentality thing. not that there isn't a small level of that in any military branch.. but seriously.

oh ya and dont listen to a single fucking thing the recruiter tells you about anything. They know as much about the careers they describe to you, as a used car salesman knows about the engineering of each car he sells on his lot.


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: daimyo]
    #4724609 -

Quote:
My main motivation is to change things for the better. I can't stand where our country has gone/is going. I am not willing to sit by the wayside and watch things deteriorate further.
Voting will not solve anything, protests won't solve anything, bitching won't solve anything.


How will going into the military change this country for the better? This is a very mysterious statement. Please explain.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: kotik]
    #4724616 -

I have taken the ASVAB. I scored 98 or 99. No worries there.

I have considered all branches and Army is what I want.

I know not to listen to the recruiter. I will go in, give him my info, and tell him I am not there to be sold on anything. Just shut up and sign me up(more appropriate language however).


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"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: daimyo]
    #4724625 -

daimyo said:
crunchytoast said:
are you going to give up the drugs up when you enlist?


Not forever, but I do not intend to be getting high while on duty.



good luck. talk about living a double life... depending on how important your job is, this may or may not matter as much, but anyone that does drugs consistantly in the military is eventually found out, unless they have some very powerful friends.

I wouldn't recommend doing drugs in the military at all, but I would let you know that getting caught for smoking marijuana will usually just get you an article 15, after which you can actually decide whether or not to continue your service. anything else you get caught, as long as its not red-handed, you can appeal and usually win as long as you don't say anything to incriminate yourself... but thats like a one time thing.. one false positive = they watch you the rest of your enlistment.

that being said, I did a decent amount of Salvia Divinorum when I was in the service... I even had some growing outside of my window.


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: kotik]
    #4724653 -

No pot for me, that's for sure. Too risky. An occasional(bi-yearly) roll or trip is about all. Drinking will be VERY limited as well. Don't want anyone to have the idea that I will be consistently getting high. I know that I need to stay focused on the task at hand, and drugs do not lend themselves to such a goal for me.

What service were you in? How long? Stationed anywhere interesting? Enjoy it?


--------------------
"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: daimyo]
    #4724656 -

I think it's better to join NASA for becoming an astronaut.

But if there is a real injustice in the world somewhere, we will happy to have you.

Don't forget to let your conscience allway in the ON-MODE !


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Though lovers be lost love shall not  And death shall have no dominion
......................................................
"Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men."Martin Luther King, Jr.
'Acceptance is the absolute key - at that moment you gain freedom and you gain power and you gain courage'

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: BlueCoyote]
    #4724683 -

I would love to explore space, but we're not there yet.  Just going to the moon would be fun, but not worth a lifetime of dedication.  You can believe I'd be the first to sign up for service involving space exploration though.  Especially if I got to battle aliens :mantis: :machinegun:


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"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: daimyo]
    #4724708 -

daimyo are you enlisting with college credit? why don't you become an officer? maybe go to west point or something....learn about war strategy and shit like that....i think you would have more influence that way.

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: MJF]
    #4724762 -

No college. I thought about West Point, but I want to earn my stripes. More honor and respect that way.


--------------------
"I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: MJF]
    #4724781 -

hah please, enlisting as an officer does not make you any more influencial than your civilain counterparts working the same jobs for more money (often working right next to you except for infantry and etc)

Quote:
What service were you in? How long? Stationed anywhere interesting? Enjoy it?


first Army, then decided on AF instead.. 4 years, and i was stationed in a few places. among all of them, certainly some places of interest.. some i cant even mention, but i fell in love with San Antonio.


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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Re: My Epiphany - My Life. Divine Inspiration? [Re: daimyo]
    #4724790 -

You can only rise so far as an enlisted man though right?

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