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 OneMoreRobot3021
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 60,945
Loc: the sky
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 So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! 
#4328554 - 06/23/05 02:41 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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I know, you're thinking  ! But let me explain.
I'm sure many of you know the common schoolyard move where a two-person team knocks one person over. The team splits into two parts: the kneeler and the pusher. The kneeler kneels behind the victim, with their back about level with the victim's knees, and then the pusher knocks the victim over the kneeler.
This is not to be performed on any hard surfaces that could lead to broken bones or fractured skulls!
Anyhow...years ago Macaulay Culkin came into the Mercury Lounge and my girlfriend's brother and his hooligan friends wanted to do it to him. They didn't succeed but that night decided from now on they'd call the move the Culkin.
We Culkin each other all the time. It's fun among our extended circle of friends, and it's something you can look forward to witnessing at least once a week, most likely twice or thrice. I've been Culkined many times, and been the victim of many Culkins in turn.
So Monday night we were at the Modest Mouse show when we notice Kieran Culkin (of Igby Goes Down) standing right near us. My friend Adam is leaving to move to Texas next week and he'd been itching to be part of a grand Culkin so he could go out with a bang. Well, here was a chance for the grandest Culkin yet performed.
Adam went over to Kieran, and actually explained the entire thing to him. Told him about the Culkin, how it was named after Macaulay, Kieran was laughing, all fun in games. When Adam came back he was grinning and said he knew he had to do it..he even told Kieran Culkin's friend he was going to do it and the friend laughed, didn't say go for it, but didn't say don't do it either.
So the encore came..and Modest Mouse played their last song...and my girlfriend knelt down behind Kieran Culkin (we're on soft astroturf in Central Park's Summerstage here) and Adam went over to talk to him...and gave him a solid push.
Boy did Kieran Culkin fly. He lifted up, went backwards, and then dropped, landing on his ass and the heels of his palms and his elbows...his legs were still over Lucy (my girlfriend), and he just pushed himself right up and ran at Adam, grabbing him by the shirt and exclaiming "You fucking asshole! We're just watching the show having a good time, what the fuck is your problem?"
Adam responds by laughing hysterically and saying, "You don't understand!! I had to do it! There was no way that I could leave without doing it!"
Culkin responded in turn by grabbing his friend's beer, throwing it in Adam's face, and then spitting in his face. Then him and his friends left.
And we Culkined a Culkin.
Now I know you're not supposed to knock down random people...but...
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Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.
-Erik Davis
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 Drink_Punk_Soda
Now with ExtraVaganza!?
Registered: 06/14/02
Posts: 1,677
Loc: Nowhere fast
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
#4328563 - 06/23/05 02:44 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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That's damn funny. I liked that movie, but I would have Culkined him too!
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Kumbayah my lord, Kumbayah...
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OneMoreRobot3021
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 60,945
Loc: the sky
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: Drink_Punk_Soda]
#4328569 - 06/23/05 02:45 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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Yes! We've gotten mixed reactions...most people who don't understand how big a part of our lives the Culkin is don't understand the immensity of this event...they even wrote up a joke press release. My girlfriend got calls from friends across the country congratulating her and calling her a hero...
And she walked by Kieran Culkin at the Tom Petty concert on Tuesday and he didn't even notice her!
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Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.
-Erik Davis
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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible
Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
#4328579 - 06/23/05 02:48 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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hahah ohh man thats great!
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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Redstorm
Prince of Bugs
Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 44,174
Last seen: 11 months, 23 days
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
#4328581 - 06/23/05 02:49 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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Kamek
polygloatin'
Registered: 01/08/05
Posts: 2,811
Last seen: 7 months, 3 days
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: Redstorm]
#4328600 - 06/23/05 02:53 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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My brothers Culkined me yesterday...
But that was hardly as great as the one you guys pulled off  !!
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bf6
Keep the highfive alive!
Registered: 01/29/04
Posts: 3,121
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
#4328604 - 06/23/05 02:54 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you, they're freeing your soul. So, if you're frightened of dying and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away, but if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth...
bloodflower6
Yay for Pornography!
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Liz
Owl Lady
Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
#4328608 - 06/23/05 02:55 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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that's awesome.
I can understand him being really pissed off though, he was probably mortified.
I think if someone did that to me, who I didn't know all that well, even with a proper explanation, I would probably throw beer as well.
edit: you should totally sell this story to like the Enquirer or something. I bet they'd love an account of a culkin charging someone for pulling a prank on him 
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Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.
Edited by ifallapart (06/23/05 02:56 PM)
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OneMoreRobot3021
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 60,945
Loc: the sky
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: Liz]
#4328616 - 06/23/05 02:57 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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The only reason our friend didn't take a picture (she was ready to) is because she realized that could start some REAL trouble if he thought we were gonna sell the pics or something. So we had to forsake proof for getting away scot-free.
I just think he's a bitch for spitting in my friend's face.
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Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.
-Erik Davis
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Noetical
Flip Horrorshow
Registered: 11/28/04
Posts: 9,230
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
#4328633 - 06/23/05 03:02 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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Thats gold!
Those laughing faces are fucked, my computer is making a small noise in tune with their sychronized laughter, freaky!
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California
A E S T H E T I C S A T A N
Registered: 12/27/04
Posts: 71,026
Loc: H A U N T E D H O U S E 
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: Liz]
#4328642 - 06/23/05 03:03 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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You give a minor/major injury to someone pullin' that Culkin shite, that'd be fucked.
Keeping the Culkin to your circle of freinds that are into it is cool, but not random people.
Nonetheless pulling a Culkin on a Culkin, that truly is classic.
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OneMoreRobot3021
Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 60,945
Loc: the sky
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: California]
#4328645 - 06/23/05 03:05 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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Rarely does a complete stranger fall victim to the Culkin. That usually only happens if they've been drinking around us and we've somewhat been hanging out with them and it's collectively decided they wouldn't freak out.
Someone once broke their leg involved in a culkin - but they were neither the pusher, the victim, nor the kneeler. The victim didn't completely fall and this guy Kyle stuck his leg out to knock them over and ended up getting his ankle twisted so bad he was on crutches for months.
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Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.
-Erik Davis
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Krishna
कृष्ण,LOL
Registered: 05/08/03
Posts: 23,285
Loc: oakland
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: California]
#4328649 - 06/23/05 03:07 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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damn that's funny shit.
what a dick, though - i can understand throwing the beer, but spitting in someones face!
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bf6
Keep the highfive alive!
Registered: 01/29/04
Posts: 3,121
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
#4328653 - 06/23/05 03:08 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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I'm so going to Culkin you if I ever meet you...
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The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you, they're freeing your soul. So, if you're frightened of dying and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away, but if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth...
bloodflower6
Yay for Pornography!
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QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey
Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 4,956
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Last seen: 4 months, 7 days
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: California]
#4328676 - 06/23/05 03:16 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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That shit reminds me of middle school when my friends and I used to pull this thing on each other called getting buttfucked by a rhino(gay I know) or some shit you would just randomly knee each other in the ass as hard as you could and it would usually break the persons tail bone making it hurt to sit down for the next couple weeks or months. Well one day this kid did it too me that I wasn't such great friends with and it was totally unexpected needless to say I commenced to pulling the fire extinguisher off the wall and cracked him in the head with it. He got alot of stitched over his eye and we both got suspended. I wouldn't have done it thinking back but I was so enraged at the time that I didn't even think I just did it. I feel bad about it now. But we later made good and are now cool about it.
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-QuantumMeltdown
Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
-Mark Twain
"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett
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Redstorm
Prince of Bugs
Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 44,174
Last seen: 11 months, 23 days
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: QuantumMeltdown]
#4328679 - 06/23/05 03:18 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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Goddamn, I just spit out what I was drinking when I read you hit him in the head with the fire extinguidher.
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Adden
Sandcastle in the Sun
Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 37,514
Loc: Amongst the Dunes
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: QuantumMeltdown]
#4328683 - 06/23/05 03:19 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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damn, i wanna split someone's dome with a fire extinguisher 
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Liz
Owl Lady
Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: QuantumMeltdown]
#4328688 - 06/23/05 03:20 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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a bunch of guys, kneeing eachother in the ass as hard as they can.
/me talks with a lisp
so sillyyyy!!
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Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.
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QuantumMeltdown
Space Monkey
Registered: 10/31/01
Posts: 4,956
Loc: Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Last seen: 4 months, 7 days
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: Liz]
#4328703 - 06/23/05 03:25 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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Yeah geh I know. The stupid things we do in our youth I guess?
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-QuantumMeltdown
Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
-Mark Twain
"The time has come the walrus said, little oysters hide their heads, my Twain of thought is loosely bound I guess its time to Mark this down, Be good and you will be lonesome
Be lonesome and you will be free
Live a lie and you will live to regret it
That's what livin' is to me
That's what livin' is to me"
Jimmy Buffett
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afoaf
CEO DBK?
Registered: 11/08/02
Posts: 32,665
Loc: Ripple's Heart
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Re: So on Monday night we knocked over Macaulay Culkin's younger brother. Igby Went DOWN! [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
#4329032 - 06/23/05 05:10 PM (12 years, 1 month ago) |
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you culkin me and you die
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All I know is The Growery is a place where losers who get banned here go.
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