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    #4174355 -

Post deleted by supernova<p>Reason for deletion: c

Edited by Supernova (05/26/05 12:33 PM)

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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: Supernova]
    #4174372 -

Just be strong, man. I know it sounds silly coming from someone who's not in your shoes, but it's all you can do.

Most importantly, stay off the drugs if you can't use moderation. I commend you on being able to quit after such heavy usage. If you can quit, you can stay off of them, just start building your discipline.

About your girlfriend, yes it was a lapse in judgement on your part, and you'll never be able to take it back, but don't constantly dwell on it. Give her some time, and then let her know you realize how much of a mistake you made. She may not forgive you, but it may help you guys to start talking again.

Most importantly, realize that everyone on this forum is here for you. We're not just robots on the other side of a pc, we're caring souls who want to see nothing less than our peers succeed and be happy.

I can speak for all of us in saying that if you ever need anyone to talk to, we're here.

Just keep on keepin' on. Things may seem bad now, but it's just a trial put in front of you that you have to overcome. I have no doubt in your ability to do so.

:heart:

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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: Supernova]
    #4174374 -

Well dude, now that everyone knows about it and youve hit bottom, maybe this would be a great time to start rebuilding! best of luck to ya and if you ever need to talk im around


--------------------
Grumpy Old Man.

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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: Supernova]
    #4174381 -

I've been going through a lot of depression and anxiety lately. I started going to a psychiatrist, and I found a good one. I suggest that. Also, I've been listening to this CD everyday: http://www.healthjourneys.com/product_detail.asp?id=92

It helps. If you want I'd rip it and upload the MP3's for you. Life is suffering, but its all perceptive. You've got to find something to help you. I've taken up meditation and that helps a lot. Read Thoughts without a Thinker by Mark Epstein too. Hope that helps.


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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: Supernova]
    #4174399 -

Supernova, good for you for posting this.  :hug:  It's hard to come to grips with those types of powerful negative emotions, especially a drug problem. 

Your mind sounds like it's trying to heal itself after being pounded with psychedelics so often.  Every wound has to hurt before it can heal.  :heart: 

Give it some time.  Sounds trite, but though you're at a low point right now, I believe you are tenacious enough to pull yourself out of this.  I don't know if you're inclined, but daily exercise might make a world of difference, give you something to focus on and offer a boost of confidence.  Meditation might also be a beneficial tool as you fight to release yourself from the pit. 

I think the most important thing to focus on is this: 

Quote:
I want to live.


It will take courage, but I think you can beat this man.  :heart:  Just keep moving forward, step by step.  Immerse yourself in new places, situations, people, etc.  Perhaps find a hobby that you can really attack and go for.  Like I said, I don't know your habits, but exercise has really helped me pull myself out of my dark days. 

I'll definately be rooting for you. :hug:

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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: Supernova]
    #4174404 -

Hey man, if you need to talk check your pm's, i'm around :yesnod:


--------------------
"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"


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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: Supernova]
    #4174407 -

Ur going to be kickin rocks for a while man. My friend and i realised we were in the same boat as you partying since we were 14. We hardly can remeber life not being fucked up on drugs, He hasnt drank in over a month hasnt done a single drug. I only drink a six pack over a week. Layed off al the other stuff. I cant sleep at night lay in bed till 4.

Go to some meetings look at drugs and drinking as a bad thing. stay motivated we can all get threw it. Start a small buisness stay buisy make some cash.

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Re: I want to fucking die *DELETED* [Re: Corporal Kielbasa]
    #4174422 -

Post deleted by blinkidiot

Reason for deletion: Im sorry



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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: blink]
    #4174426 -

damn. i need to quit drinking.


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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #4174429 -

Yeah, I used to be out of control with drinking. I made myself quit completely.

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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: Redstorm]
    #4174436 -

yeah i should probably do that. i live in a drinking town though, it sucks. we were voted the number one party town in america by playboy for a while up until last year, when az state passed us. now we're number 2.


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Re: *DELETED* [Re: HELLA_TIGHT]
    #4174438 -

Post deleted by supernova<p>Reason for deletion: c

Edited by Supernova (05/26/05 12:34 PM)

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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: blink]
    #4174443 -

Yeah my friends are always like remeber that time or when we did this and they said that. I just kinda look at em all spaced out and nod my head like oh yeah. But they know and i know that i dont know.

Kinda sucks. But i wouldnt trade in the life i had so far for a pot of gold.

Moderation is a key, and that isnt only taking small amounts of stuff when using regularly.

More like monthly or yearly for me know also.

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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: Supernova]
    #4174449 -

As much as things suck right now, try to be positive as much as you can. It will really help a lot.

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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: Supernova]
    #4174451 -

Read the book, zen and the art of motorcycle maintanence. I love that one. That and Illusions by Richard Boch.

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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: Supernova]
    #4174458 -

The fact that you've come to terms with the mistakes that you've made in the past, and what you need to do to have a brighter future is a huge step in the right direction.  There are a ton of people right here, on this website, that have all had, or have currently, the same feelings that you do.  I've been there in the past, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel man, no matter how far away it might seem at certain points.  Anytime you want to talk, feel free to shoot me a PM, I listen pretty well :hug:

-Liz


--------------------
Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.


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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: Redstorm]
    #4174467 -

Redstorm said:
Yeah, I used to be out of control with drinking. I made myself quit completely.



How did you do it man? I am way outta control :frown: I don't even get drunk anymore, i just drink to escape my withdrawl symptoms the past few weeks  :crazy:


--------------------
"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"


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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: Redstorm]
    #4174470 -

its a tough thing to get through, but EVERYBODY can get through it dude, no matter how hard it is. the first few months is very hard but after a while, it will get better. you just need to stick in there. think about how good it would be to say you've been clean for a whole year? you might feel depressed now but you will get over it. it just takes time

the best advise i can give you is to just keep your mind busy. read books, go hiking, play sports, go jogging, go to bars and meet new people, go to concerts, get a job, travel, write stories.

although i have never been addicted to anything except for weed, i know how it feels to be depressed. throughout my 21 years of existence, i can easily say that 18 of those years i was depressed and hated myself.i was constantly being made fun of and had NO ONE to talk to. i know how it feels to think that there is nothing left and what is the point of living. i didn't have a girlfriend until i was 17, i thought it was the best thing that happened to me. until she stabbed me in the back numerous times. then it put me in even a worse depression.years later and its still hard for me to trust people. i stuck in there and realized that there was a lot more to life than the past. presently i am feeling pretty good. i have those days of sadness once in a while but most of it has gone away.

you gotta have faith in yourself. you can make it. anytime you need someone to talk to, you got us. i wish the best for you. i believe you can get through it


--------------------
"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"


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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: FreakQlibrium]
    #4174481 -

FreakQlibrium said:
Redstorm said:
Yeah, I used to be out of control with drinking. I made myself quit completely.



How did you do it man? I am way outta control :frown: I don't even get drunk anymore, i just drink to escape my withdrawl symptoms the past few weeks  :crazy:


I dunno. I just pride myself on being really, really disciplined. If I decide I'm going to do something, I'll make myself do it. It's just mind over matter for sure.

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Re: I want to fucking die [Re: Redstorm]
    #4174533 -

Normaly i am very disciplined as well re healthy eating, excercise etc. I can't help but wonder, although it is far more culturally sanctioned, is being addicted to a girl any more healthy then being addicted to alcohol? :crazy: I really need some input here guys, i am totally going phucking nuts  :crazy:


--------------------
"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"


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