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InvisibleDNKYD
Turtle!

Registered: 09/24/04
Posts: 12,326
FUCK ME! Drug test
    #4055083 - 04/14/05 04:05 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

My buddy just called me up to let me know our employer is drug testing next weekend. I haven't smoked in a week. Before then I had smoked every day for about 5 or 6 days.

So here's the deal. If I drink insane amounts of water every day until the day of the test, will I be fine? I have a very fast metabolism, but I don't know if that comes into play. I want to avoid wasting money on detox drinks and all that if I absolutely can. Is there anything else I can do to help clean myself out? Vitamins/supplements I can take? Help me!!!


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OfflineTurd
Dr. Rock

Registered: 01/21/03
Posts: 1,909
Loc: Vulva, WA
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: DNKYD]
    #4055086 - 04/14/05 04:07 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

yah man, just drink tons of water.... cranberry juice helps too. I smoked daily for months a while back and quit for about 2 weeks (might just have been a week and a half), drank tons of water + cran juice, and passed the test. And I dont have the best metabolism.

Godspeed! (what speed is that? Oh, about 45)


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Invisibleblissedout
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: DNKYD]
    #4055088 - 04/14/05 04:08 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Water will work. You should do fat burning excersise like walking or something, too. Water is key, though. Lots of water!


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:murray:


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OfflineLeukoism
Dark Canopy View

Registered: 09/18/04
Posts: 272
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: DNKYD]
    #4055089 - 04/14/05 04:08 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

I heard drinking lots of grapejuice will help, and maybe drink a little vinegar.


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May it have been the one that you are no longer aware, but now it has become a reality.

-----Enter the craze untill you have seen!-----

--------------------------


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InvisibleVvellum
Stranger

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 10,920
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: DNKYD]
    #4055094 - 04/14/05 04:10 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

three words: synthetic urine kit

google.

every working smoker should have one stashed away just in case. you have plenty of time to order one.


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Invisibleblissedout
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: Vvellum]
    #4055100 - 04/14/05 04:11 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Yeah, my friend that is on probation uses that piss bag thingy, too.


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:murray:


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Invisiblephalloidin

Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 865
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: DNKYD]
    #4055101 - 04/14/05 04:11 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

water only works when you drink it a few hours before the test. Go to the canning section of your grocery store and get a box of Certo. It's used for making jellies and jams. Mix a packet of that stuff with a large glass of water and drink it an hour or so before the test. My brother did this and passed is test for probation, even though he smoked the day before the test.


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Offlineemptywisdom
simple being oflight
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Registered: 03/29/05
Posts: 2,107
Loc: Lemuria
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: phalloidin]
    #4055116 - 04/14/05 04:14 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

certo is hell on your kidneys. It should work, though.


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Invisibleblissedout
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: phalloidin]
    #4055119 - 04/14/05 04:15 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Drinking water in the days prior to taking your urine test will help the flow continually go through you and it helps knock down on water retention, which is the leading cause of failed piss tests after drinking water alot.


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:murray:


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Invisiblephalloidin

Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 865
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: blissedout]
    #4055124 - 04/14/05 04:17 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

yeah, drinking plenty of water is always a good thing regardless.


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InvisibleDNKYD
Turtle!

Registered: 09/24/04
Posts: 12,326
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: blissedout]
    #4055129 - 04/14/05 04:19 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Ah, thanks for all the advice guys. My job requires me to walk a shitton, nonstop for 5-8 hours. I will start today and drink nothing but water for the next week. This really bums me out, though. I was finally getting a half ounce that was owed to me by somebody and was looking forward to smoking it. Ah well, I guess it will be enjoyed more once the test is done with.


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Invisibleblissedout
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: DNKYD]
    #4055134 - 04/14/05 04:20 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

What is a shitton? :confused:


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:murray:


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InvisibleFreeker
jackaroe
Male User Gallery
Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 2,225
Loc: buffalo
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: DNKYD]
    #4055138 - 04/14/05 04:22 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Now I could either tell you all I know, or send you to the source of this knowledge...

Here's the site, good luck with the test !

http://www.hempfiles.com/php/page.php?chapterid=32&id=33


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InvisibleDNKYD
Turtle!

Registered: 09/24/04
Posts: 12,326
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: blissedout]
    #4055141 - 04/14/05 04:23 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

shit-ton


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Invisibleblissedout
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 22,320
Loc: Yonder
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: DNKYD]
    #4055151 - 04/14/05 04:27 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Oooohhhh! Okay. I walk a shit ton at work, too. I am a server in a Thai restaurant. Drink lots of water and stay away from sugar and fatty foods. Good luck!


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:murray:


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OfflineMadtowntripper
Sun-Beams out of Cucumbers
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Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 21,286
Loc: The Ocean of Notions
Last seen: 3 months, 18 days
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: blissedout]
    #4055176 - 04/14/05 04:37 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Thanks for mentioning thai food. Damnit. And another class before I can eat, too.


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After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action.  If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it.  - Ernest Hemingway

If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it.  In the law courts, in business, in government.  There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.    -Cormac MacCarthy

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.  - Aeschylus


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InvisibleJim
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/07/04
Posts: 20,898
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: DNKYD]
    #4055216 - 04/14/05 04:52 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

seriously, unlike what others have said, drinking tons of water days before the test will do nothing for you other than discomfort. drink it the morning of the test. 6-8 pints.

sythetic urine is the way to go, unless you have someone who you know does NOT smoke who will pee in a ziplock for you.


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Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit!

afoaf said:
Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.


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OfflineTurd
Dr. Rock

Registered: 01/21/03
Posts: 1,909
Loc: Vulva, WA
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: Jim]
    #4055220 - 04/14/05 04:53 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

tough part of using fake piss is keeping it the right temp


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InvisibleJim
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/07/04
Posts: 20,898
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: Jim]
    #4055228 - 04/14/05 04:56 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

if its an office test temp doesn't matter, the control is creatine.

www.clearchoiceofny.com sells synthetic urine kits with an add in chemical to warm it.


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Use the Fucking Reply To Feature You Lazy Pieces of Shit!

afoaf said:
Jim, if you were in my city, I would let you fuck my wife.


Edited by GratefulJim (04/14/05 05:02 PM)


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OfflineShagshow
Sit on It

Registered: 12/23/04
Posts: 575
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: FUCK ME! Drug test [Re: Turd]
    #4055235 - 04/14/05 04:58 PM (11 years, 7 months ago)

Drinking tons of water the morning of the test will merely result in an inclusive test. You'll have to take it again another day, if your urine is too diluted then it won't register on the drug test (lines indicate negative test, no lines indicate inconclusive or positive test). If you abstain from marijuana, and eat correctly (which included 8 glass of water a day), you shouldn't even worry about a positive test. You said you had only smoked a week ago today. If you smoke all the time then you have a problem, it is stored and released from your fat-cells for a month+..


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