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Re: I don't think this will be a popular post, but what the hell. [Re: Tomatadunothing]
    #3924969 -

I think you're right about your teacher. He's giving bad grades to benefit himself. You'll meet a few assholes in college and beyond; try to avoid them if you can, deal with them if you can't.

In any case, I think there's a few things that could be better about your paper.

"Agrarian tradition" and "commercial tradition" may have important places in your essay, particularly if they were emphasized in the class, but they were never political parties. I think the political parties in 1840 were the Democrats and the Whigs.

Your assignment was to persuade Mr. James, but you keep talking about him in the third person. The way you're writing, it seems like you're here in the twenty first century talking to your teacher about how Mr. James should vote agrarian. You should put yourself in the nineteenth century and address Mr. James directly, as in a letter, or you should eliminate Mr. James from the picture and address his interests, as in a newspaper editorial.

Another noticeable problems is that your introduction doesn't introduce your arguments and includes information of no relevance to your paper. Reading the first two sentences, I'd think you were trying to persuade somebody that voting's important.


So, you could try something like this, treating your essay as a letter:

Mr. James:
As a new citizen of the United States, you are called upon to make a choice between our leading political parties, the Democrats and the Whigs. If it is your desire to promote the greatness of our nation while advancing your own interests, you should vote _____. Their policies of --Westward expansion, Indian eradication, low tariffs, or whatever else-- will --blah--.

The policy of --Westward expansion-- promoted by --so-and-so-- will provide you and your sons with additional land for farming, enabling your social advancement. --History about how this policy helped similar people in the past, and how voting for so-and-so will promote this policy in the future--
--Policy 2-- --benefits, history, relavence to voting--

etc. etc.

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Re: I don't think this will be a popular post, but what the hell. [Re: phi1618]
    #3926187 -

Thanks for the input. I'm going to talk to my teacher tonight, and I'll find out what the deal is. He is letting some people in the class re-write the paper, so maybe that will be an option. As far as the agrarian and commercial tradition, those were the terms that the professor used, since the primary political partys changed several times in that era.

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