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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
How to handle this...
    #3172934 - 09/24/04 01:03 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

There is this girl I dated a few years back. We broke up. But, we
became best friends. We hung out all of the time and talk to each
other about everything. She continually says that she is still in
love with me. I don't know if she means it or not. I am definately
not in love with her. I never have been. I tell her that all the
time because she does shit which makes me HAVE to say it(getting
possessive if I talk to other girls, etc...). I feel like I can
do whatever I want to and she can do whatever she wants to. I
don't give a flying fuck if she dates other guys.

Here's the thing though...we have continued to have unprotected sex.
I view this whole situation as "best friend who I care about and
get occassional benefits from". I like how things are.

Here's my problem. I know she dated/fucked other guys. I flat
out asked her, "have you had unprotected sex with or been in a
situation where you might have been exposed to something(condom
breaking for example). She flat out said no. I snooped through
her diary and found out that this was a lie. She had unprotected
sex with one of the guys she dated, and had sex with another dude
and the condom broke. She lied to me and she endangered my health.

The fact that my best friend would lie right to my face and
endanger my health like that to me seems despicable and disgusting.
How could someone I love and trust do something so horrible and
possibly FATAL to me??? She is coming over in an hour or so. I
am flat out going to tell her how I feel and that she is not my
friend anymore. Anybody who would do these things to me is not
my friend.

It will be hard to just drop this girl as my friend. I have told her
things nobody else has heard. We usually get along marvelously.
We need each other for support. To end such a caring relationship
will be the hardest thing I have ever done.

But, I cannot tolerate liars. Nor can I tolerate girls who pretend
they are all virtuous while they fuck everything that moves.
Absolutely disgusting..


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OfflineSkikid16
fungus fan

Registered: 06/27/02
Posts: 5,666
Loc: In the middle of the nort...
Last seen: 12 years, 3 months
Re: How to handle this... [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3172961 - 09/24/04 01:08 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

But, I cannot tolerate liars.


Why, because its a violation of trust?

so I point to exhibit a:

" I snooped through
her diary and found out that this was a lie."


I hear your concern, go get tested, but do not drop her, because that would be completely hypocritical.

Confront her, and if you wish to continue having sex, well, figure something out.

While she may be threatening you physically, maybe you are threatening her emotionally.


--------------------
Re-Defeat Bush in '04


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: How to handle this... [Re: Skikid16]
    #3172976 - 09/24/04 01:11 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I'll flat out admit that I am a snoop. If somebody leaves their
diary about I will read it. She knows that. I have told her before
to take her diary out of my house if she was leaving and it happened
to be here...because I would read it.


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Offlinefelix
this and that
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/21/00
Posts: 10,496
Last seen: 22 days, 4 hours
Re: How to handle this... [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3173158 - 09/24/04 01:55 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

/me searches for the 'boot' icon.

that's right, give her the boot.

at least stop bangin her.


--------------------
Real botanists laugh at HPS systems, we do however use high pressure sodium in the parking lot. - artthug


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InvisibleLoosifa
none
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/26/04
Posts: 506
Loc: England (South) Flag
Re: How to handle this... [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3173887 - 09/24/04 08:21 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

How come you are allowed to have unprotected sex but she isn't?
What I mean is, if you're not dating, she probably assumes that you do the same thing, whether you do or not.
If you are worried about catching stuff, use protection and solve the worry. It takes two of you, it's not all her fault.
Hope it all works out good.


--------------------
LURK


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: How to handle this... [Re: Loosifa]
    #3174068 - 09/24/04 10:15 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)


How come you are allowed to have unprotected sex but she isn't?

I don't have unprotected sex with anybody else. Anytime I mess
around with another girl I use a condom and I tell her about it. If
the condom broke I would have immediately told her. She
endangered my health. I have never done that to her.


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Offlineagr8fulchick
Feed Your Head!

Registered: 08/19/04
Posts: 707
Loc: Stranded in Iowa
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: How to handle this... [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3174090 - 09/24/04 10:24 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

This seems pretty obvious to me, but then again I'm here, and you guys are there in the situation :smile:

Normal girls don't have sex with their friends. They just don't. If they are sleeping with you, then it means that they are in love with you. We aren't wired like guys where we can just have sex for the fun of it (some super horny girls claim to be like that, but they are just dead inside). If she's sleeping with other guys it's probably because the other dude was being kind and consoling to her when you didn't love her.

She isn't your friend, even if she says she is. She is letting you sleep with her just to keep you around, because she loves you. If you are really her best friend, you won't sleep with her anymore, not unless you love her.

Best of luck talking to her!  :goodluck:


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OfflineAmericaNightmare
fiend

Registered: 02/24/03
Posts: 1,195
Loc: The Hyacinth House
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: How to handle this... [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3174836 - 09/24/04 02:08 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

well man, while i understand what your saying, you could be using protection when you have sex with her. its your choice, you know, so your health being at risk isnt entirely her fault. you couldve worn a condom.

what im saying is, do what you think is right, but dont completely pass the blame from yourself.


--------------------
Now, if I accept Jesus into my heart, I'll get to walk beside him in the Kingdom of Heaven. Did you hear what I said? Walk beside him in the Kingdom of Heaven. Well, kiss my crippled ass. God is listening. What a crock of shit.
--Lieutenant Dan


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OfflineUnenlightenedOne
Two Spirited

Registered: 08/12/04
Posts: 612
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: How to handle this... [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #3175111 - 09/24/04 03:26 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

A) Never never get involved with friends.It never turns out well.Nine times out of ten it fails and then both people are left in a weird position and neither person wants to stop being friends and its messy.If you dont have feelings for her and you know she has feelings for you,you shouldnt have slept with her.Its taking advantage of her and her feelings for you.

B) ALWAYS wear a condom.I dont care how much you think you can trust someone.They may be carrying disease and not realize it or know about it yet or they could be simply lying outright.All humans lie.

C) I wouldnt drop her as a friend.Its hypocritical.You dump her off for lying yet you snooped through her diary and invaded her most personal space.All humans lie.It dont matter who it is,they've lied and will lie.

Quote:

Nor can I tolerate girls who pretend
they are all virtuous while they fuck everything that moves.
Absolutely disgusting..




D) As opposed to Men who do the same thing and are rewarded/praised for it?LMAO.You cannot expect anymore of someone else than you expect from yourself.


--------------------
Do not desire to reach a high level.Rather work without thought of reward to iron out flaws and impurities in one's self for the sake of one's self.When one has done this one needs not to desire anymore. http://www.lifeforceonlinestore.com/yc/


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: How to handle this... [Re: agr8fulchick]
    #3175704 - 09/24/04 05:34 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)


Normal girls don't have sex with their friends. They just don't. If
they are sleeping with you, then it means that they are in love with
you. We aren't wired like guys where we can just have sex for the fun
of it (some super horny girls claim to be like that, but they are
just dead inside). If she's sleeping with other guys it's probably
because the other dude was being kind and consoling to her when you
didn't love her.

This girl is addicted to attention from guys and she likes dick.
She obsesses about guys and her relationships with them.


She isn't your friend, even if she says she is. She is letting you
sleep with her just to keep you around, because she loves you. If you
are really her best friend, you won't sleep with her anymore, not
unless you love her.

Ironically, she is the one who always intitiates things. I never
initiate anything with her. She is not "giving me sex".
She whines and complains that I don't have sex with her enough.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: How to handle this... [Re: AmericaNightmare]
    #3175716 - 09/24/04 05:37 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)


so your health being at risk isnt entirely her fault. you couldve
worn a condom.

If she had told me the truth about what she had been exposed to, I
would have worn a condom. Instead she lied. This person is my best
friend. When she says, "I have no diseases, and I have done nothing
that would have gotten me a disease", I believe her. To find out
she was dishonest is disgusting to me.


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InvisibleRandalFlagg
Stranger
Registered: 06/15/02
Posts: 15,608
Re: How to handle this... [Re: UnenlightenedOne]
    #3175725 - 09/24/04 05:40 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)


As opposed to Men who do the same thing and are rewarded/praised for
it?LMAO.You cannot expect anymore of someone else than you expect
from yourself.

The difference is that I when it comes to the important aspect of
a person's health, I don't hide things. She did.


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OfflineKidShelleen
watch thesensations
Registered: 09/20/04
Posts: 88
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
Re: How to handle this... [Re: agr8fulchick]
    #3176031 - 09/24/04 07:02 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

And Amen to YOU, agr8fulchick.

KS


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