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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible



Registered: 01/29/03 
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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How to handle this?
#5400491 - 03/14/06 06:48 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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For the last half a year or so my parents began to split up. On and off living with each other type thing. My mom just baught her own place and my dad just found out. I've only seen him that sad and confused during death. I sat down by him and he started to cry, I didn't know what to say. I really wanted to say something or give him comfort somehow but I didn't know how too. And just thinking about my unbeing able to help him out makes me cry. I wish I could talk to him and make him feel the least bit better or know that he always my support type thing, just anything, but I can't
Around people close to me I feel very emotional, especially when they are sad and hurt, it hits me very hard. And I just feel bad when I have nothing to say or am unble to let them know that I'm there for them.
I am an emotional cripple
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Dude, simply by BEING THERE you're letting them know you're there for them. You can't be expected to "carry" this burdon on their behalf, as much as I know you'd like to help carry some of it. This is part of your dad's journey and will be difficult, but the best thing you can do is just keep being his son.
I'm sure your parents are concerned about how you're handling events also.
Sorry this has happened to your family.
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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible



Registered: 01/29/03 
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: How to handle this? [Re: MOTH]
#5400584 - 03/14/06 07:08 PM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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I know it is each their own journy, but not being able to just say something that makes them feel I understand or something, just hurts. I just feel like I'm not doing enough, or could be doing more, but I don't know how.
Them being apart hurts, but not too bad. The thing that really hurts is seing them both struggle with whats going on and how much sadness comes out of them. And seeing my little sister cry when they fight and she can hear them, but that last time that happened I took her for a ride in the car. Didn't know what to tell her either, I wish I could just giver her some helpful words or something that would help her, but I felt I coudn't. Feeling helpless is brutal.
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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Disco Cat
iS A PoiNdexteR

Registered: 09/15/00
Posts: 2,601
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I'm sorry. My parents are in a similar situation and I feel the same way. The sadness of them having lost their happiness and dreams is overwhelming for me.
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JacquesCousteau
Being.


Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 7,825
Loc: Everywhere, Everytime.
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
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If you don't know what to say, forget words.
Do you hug your dad when he's crying? This may seem trivial or simple, but I know that when I was more 'emotionally crippled' I had trouble acting out simple expressions of love... and that might be what helps the most.
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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible



Registered: 01/29/03 
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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I didn't hug my dad when he was crying, but I wish I did. After he got up I put my hand on his shoulder. I wish I could have shown him more love.
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Next time you see him, you can.
Quote:
I put my hand on his shoulder
You made physical contact with him in his moment of need. That says volumes, even if it's form wasn't in a hug.
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pshawny
Mycobian



Registered: 09/11/04
Posts: 1,332
Loc: Shroomery
Last seen: 14 years, 11 months
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Sorry to hear your parents are splitting up bellylard. My parents have been divorced since I was 4-5ish. That's about 20 years.
My dad was never around much. My mom raised 3 children by herself with a piss poor income. All 3 of us turned out great. I love my mom very much for what she's provided me with. I see my dad a couple times a year and we get along just fine.
It's hard to see someone you love cry because they hurt. It's not wrong of you to have just sat with your dad when he was crying. Once I could tell my mom was very sad, I don't know about what, and all I could do was sit in the chair next to her. I didn't really say anything to her, but I sat there for about 20 minutes. I've never been much for emotions.
If you feel like hugging your dad or you think it would make him feel better then do it. It doesn't make you less of a man to cry and hug someone when they need it. Tell both your parents something you appreciate about them.
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barfightlard
tales of theinexpressible



Registered: 01/29/03 
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
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Re: How to handle this? [Re: pshawny]
#5402247 - 03/15/06 06:37 AM (17 years, 10 months ago) |
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Thanks guys 
Just got a temp job working at a place that refines used plastics, so that should be some wiehgt of my parents shoulder just knowing I'm going out and being "productive"
btw happy birthday pshawny
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"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks
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