Home | Community | Message Board
You are not signed in.
Sign In New Account
Forum Index Search Posts Trusted Vendors Highlights Galleries FAQ User List Chat Store Random Growery


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.

Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > Mushroom Cultivation > Cultivation Confessional
Threaded Mode Threaded  Previous topic Previous  View all topics Index  Next topic Next 

Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Sporeworks.EU Spores for European Microscopy   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds   MagicBag.co All-In-One Bags That Don't Suck

Jump to first unread post Pages: < First | | 977 | 978 | 979 | 980 | 981 | 982 | 983 | 984 | 985 | 986 | 987 | 988 | 989 | 990 | 991 | 992 | 993 | 994 | 995 | 996 | 997 | | Last >
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: MycoKyle] * 3
    #29421112 -

MycoKyle said:
My wife begging me to get an induction burner to do my rye outside lol.


I really like my induction hob.


--------------------
This hobby has taught me many things.
Most of those things are patience.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery
The Official Shroomery Cultivation Museum
CakeWars
III

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 4
    #29421125 -

Gilmour Hendrix said:
Thanks, RG, for sharing this wisdom. Easier said than done, right? I find myself sharing good news to latch onto the reaction of others of the good news. Like, getting my gratification or sense of accomplishment through a third party. I've removed myself that far away from it. Side stepping compliments directed at me to avoid becoming attached to the fact that I'm not a fuck up. That I can do something right after being wrong so many times.

I can see that you get it. Thanks again for coming forward with that. It's sort of cliché but I do find some comfort in knowing that there is someone else that can relate.


Dude, you sound like me to me...for me, it was straight up ass-kicking high-functioning depression....I could get up and go to work every day without fail, kick ass all day long at my job, and feel 110% like I just wanted to end it all in every single moment, for *years* on end, in spite of getting a house, having kids, all that happy life shit. Cannot fucking believe I am still alive, for real. Never felt good enough, no matter how good....got big awards/recognitions, promotions, employees, control. I was doing all the things that others seemed to see as a positive, but never able to really feel it myself. After growing some shrooms and getting familiarized with lower doses, I wound up going out on my own spirit quest to do a full-trip dose of mushrooms far away from other people and any electronics & that home-rolled experience straight up changed my life more than anything my medical providers could offer. I feel like a fair bit of my early mental programming came from growing up in the bible belt, indoctrinated by a bunch of hypocritical holier-than-thou folks that openly hated, denigrated, and discriminated against humans different than themselves. Learned me a lesson, to be sure. But it was the wrong one.

Anyway, sorry/not sorry to rant, but I feel you and I understand a flavor of what you're writing about. Peace to you, friend...and solidarity.

Oh, and the anxiety about about to lose it all...yep, that too, in waves, over and over.


--------------------
Peace to you, friend!
The HHG is a guide to getting started.
New User Welcome Wagon
GROWER’S BEST photo contest: join the fun!
CAKE WARS III - Starts SEPT 1, 2026

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: flapping_bird] * 2
    #29421129 -

For me, my depression problems were just disguising my adhd, and I had no idea what anxiety looked like so I just assumed everything was normal, and not being treated or learning the skills to deal with my adhd led to depression


--------------------
"Remember, kids, the difference between science and screwing around is writing it down" -adam savage
Flowchart for Recommended plan of action.
Learn the tried and true way to grow mushrooms
Use the Damn search engine
After you know what you're doing, take a break 
Pick a book, Make some chips!
Josex said:Don't take the site seriously bro, ain't worth it.
 

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: tryptkaloids] * 2
    #29421219 -

I confess that my Tammy tub is still growing.
Because every day this week I've used a blow torch to kill the trich trying to grow in there.
:lolsy:
I wanted to finally give this method a shot and it's like whack a mole. Every day it's just coming back it doesn't give a shit how hard or how long I sit there roasting the sub.

It really does make you start thinking crazy things like excision.
I just need to stop babysitting it and let it go and then grab my favorite piece of fruit out of it and start cloning and getting back to work.
But it's kind of fun to see how far it goes and what affect it has on the rest of the tub.


--------------------

The Shroomery Manual
Wanna Play?
Dream Interpretation
GC’s Ayahuasca Recipe
Free Therapy

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 4
    #29421224 -

Gilmour Hendrix said:
I don't know what's wrong with me, man. Anyone ever have that looming feeling that shit is gonna go south at any moment? It's been too good for so long that I expect that thing to happen where "ah fuck. This is it! The jig is up!" Could be Imposter Syndrome. I dunno. It has a lot to do with my past. Growing up poor then getting off the needle over 10 years ago to what I am today makes me feel like my life is a sadistic game of jenga. Masochistic, actually. Since I'm doing it to myself.

For those of you who have been following along, I nailed down the "life-changing" career opportunity today. The interview and assessment were a booming success. I'm getting everything I asked for, as well. I should be happy, but I have that fucking feeling looming over me that will not let me enjoy success. For very long, anyway. I'm already thinking how I can do better when, just this morning, I was sick to my stomach over this interview. It's like a dream where you have dry mouth but you drink and drink but still have the urgency for hydration. I'd be the healthiest, fittest, richest, wittiest, most adored person in history and still think I need to do better.

Any idea why that is? Does anyone else have this thirst?


One of my favorite passages:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

Even if you don’t have a god, the sentiment still holds. Embrace your power and learn to trust that not only are you worth it, it’s the way you are meant to be.


--------------------
You can ignore the truth to your final breath. But trust me, it will meet you there to be ignored no longer.

The answer to your question is almost always 42
“The answer is always grow more shroom.” Mr Piggy
- Those two answers coexist peacefully.

Quick Sterilization Reference for Altitude

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: 1NFIN8] * 3
    #29421285 -

This reminds me of the sentiment that every single person holds some ability or talent that places them in the upper edges of the highest percentile. I really love this idea. I also suffer from depression, inadequacy and imposter syndrome and this makes me feel a tiny bit better. Then dunning kruger thoughts emerge and the cycle starts anew lol :uhoh:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: phytophthora] * 3
    #29421305 -

phytophthora said:
This reminds me of the sentiment that every single person holds some ability or talent that places them in the upper edges of the highest percentile. I really love this idea. I also suffer from depression, inadequacy and imposter syndrome and this makes me feel a tiny bit better. Then dunning kruger thoughts emerge and the cycle starts anew lol :uhoh:


Don't fool yourself, you're special. :heart:


--------------------
It takes guts to be
gentle and kind

Another way to live

Your ego is your nemesis.
Seek the truth tirelessly,
Even at the cost of your own sanity.
-fiddle_head

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: LadysKnight] * 2
    #29421316 -

Well thank you! I guess I was trying to reinforce that I believe everyone is special in their own, important ways; but I do appreciate the kind words.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: phytophthora] * 8
    #29421345 -

yo @gil.  dont sabotage yourself.  heres some unsolicited advice i learned from being a lifelong sabotager:

never make decisions past dark or when youre tired.  always make sure the best version of you is calling all the shots.


--------------------
The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The OFFICIAL Cultivation Off Topic Discussion

✸-✸-✸

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Shroomery

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: BeefExtreme] * 2
    #29421348 -

With beef on this
:whathesaid:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: RealityGlitch] * 10
    #29421396 -

Auto-Summary
Several individuals share their support and encouragement for someone dealing with self-doubt, stress, and mental health issues. They discuss overcoming past failures, the benefits of therapy, and the importance of maintaining perspective and gratitude. Topics include CPTSD, ADHD, and the impact of past trauma, as well as the value of having supportive friends and mentors.

RG- Sometimes it takes a kind soul to nudge us in the right direction even when we are mired in self-doubt. I have an old boss/ friend that I still talk to. He took a chance on hiring me into my current profession when I had zero experience on paper. He said he could tell that I wanted it bad enough that I would do my best to make it happen. Here we are years later, and he is still giving me pep talks before interviews. Helping me quell that self doubt. He's no relation but believes in me like a close relative. It's a privilege to have these people in our lives. Thank you for taking the time to respond, RG.

Kloakk- My temper is much less volatile than it once was. When I learned that I can't control everything, I learned to let go. A little bit, anyway. I understand the feeling of having to "pay the piper" for everything good that happens. So many times in my life, though, I have had a moment of sheer bliss because of something good in my life only to have something bad happen within a day or two. It doesn't take much to put me on guard. Goes back to what I was saying in my original post. Thank you for sharing, buddy.

Lithop- I'm a cat person. These little fuzz butts are the only company I have during the week. Sorry to hear about your cat, man. That doom does circle the block to let us know it's there. "Love" and "Happiness" are thrown around generically. In my opinion, it doesn't make them any less important for a good life experience. It is strange how doom can feel personified or like an entity. Like it's watching from the shadows :lol: Thanks for contributing, man. I've read some of your posts recently and admire your depth of character.

OLDDAD77- You're probably right. It could be the dark cloud rolling in on me. I do feel better today. The success is sinking in. I wonder if the stress of the anticipation of the interview and the interview itself rocked me back toward the pit. I'd be interested in the basics of what you do to combat an "episode" if you're willing to share. Thanks for chiming in, man.

Churp- Living up to the expectation after the "win" is part of it for me, too. It's like I forget that I am who I am. That I think I'm just going to belly flop and be the opposite of what I'm capable of being. I had family that told me that I was going to be a failure when I was a kid. Nothing I did was good enough. Not all of my family, but some got to me with that shit. I made it a priority to prove them wrong with my success. I'd rub it in their face. I don't have that now. Somehow, I have become that voice. Your comments are appreciated, buddy. Thank you.

Tryp- I'm going to look into this "CPTSD". Lately, you all have made me more aware of some of my feelings/ tendencies when I'm out in the real world. I suspect I may have some sort of attention deficit or ADHD. Not completely sure but it will be worth bring up in a therapy session. Thank for sharing, Tryp. There could be a link between it all, as you said.

TM- You know. Like I was saying to Churp, it sounds like we had a similar experience as kids. As for therapy, I'm going to give it a try. Finally. Because of my conversations here and reading these posts, I have a starting line for the therapist. Thanks for the suggestion, TM.

FB- Sometimes I feel that. It has eased up a bit, but passive suicidal ideation was a big part of my mental bandwidth. It's still there. Not as loud now. The only reason that kept me from going up in the woods to off myself is the toll it would take on my family and friends. My mom is disabled and already lost one son. She's already broken so it would destroy her. Not to mention how much she relies on me. Anyway, I'm just saying I understand that way of thinking. As I said before, I hope to get on a regimen of "semi-frequent" mush therapy. Thanks for sharing, man. You're a good soul.

1NFIN8- Thanks for sharing that passage. I'll admit, it pried a few tears out of me. Beautiful, man. I'm going to favorite this post so I can reflect on it more in the future. Again, thank you for sharing this.

Beef- This is great advice. I always appreciate when you take time to share your wisdom. It's even more special now since I know you've been dealing with your own struggles. I thought I overcame the self-sabotage when I got off dope. Here it is again in a different form. A wise man and mentor asked me why I always sell myself short. I thought/ think it will help me to remain humble. This may not be the case. Sincerely, thank you for taking time to chime in and offer advice. We sort of lost our way but I do miss shooting the shit with you, bud. Oh, I deleted signal again and cleared out my inbox here because I got spooked and panicked. :lol: I dunno. Sometimes I spend too much time in my head.

tl;dr- Thank you all for sharing your perspective and personal experiences in regard to my own struggle. All of your posts are helpful. I don't know what CPTSD is, but I will look it up. I've though about therapy but I never knew where to start so I put it off. I was hoping the mushrooms would help, and they have, but I can't make time to take them as often as I would like. The new job will afford me more free time. Maybe I can get on a regimen once I get comfortable there.

:loveheart:

Edited for errors


--------------------



Edited by Gilmour Hendrix (12/06/25 04:28 PM)

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 3
    #29421419 -

‘Atta boy, Gil. I’ve been following this and see so many similarities to my own life and situations. Everyone’s advice was great and pretty spot on. Keep working on manifesting a positive outlook, reframing negative events, and keep on truckin’.

PS. There was no intended Grateful Dead reference in the above post, so keep your pants on, hippies.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: AstroSporeFiend] * 1
    #29421441 -

Thanks, Astro. I'm going to do just that but with help from a therapist. My potential is hindered by my stunted confidence. All of that occurs due to the self-hatred. I know what to do. This thread has made me look at myself, my past, and why I am the way I am. Not just now, but because I have been reading everyone's posts since I showed up.

That last line, Astro, make me laugh! Punks vs. Hippies :lmafo:


--------------------



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: AstroSporeFiend] * 6
    #29421444 -

Gil, my dude...never ever just sit in it and accept it. Idc how many attempts or new approaches it takes - please always keep chasing happiness. This life is too short to not fight for it. Mush love brotha, and my inbox is always open to you if you need it.


--------------------


Hitchhikers Guide to The Shroomery

Shine on forever, shine on benevolent son
Shine down upon the severed
Shine until the two become one

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: ThurmanMurman] * 3
    #29421532 -

Thanks, man. I appreciate that. I'm trying to keep after it. I also keep the negative to myself most of the time. Not trying to bring everyone down. You guys know the other side of me. The goofy stuff. That's what I enjoy bringing to the world. Laughter. Sometimes it hits, sometimes it doesnt, and sometimes people don't realize they dont have a sense of humor until I tell them! Ha! As always, thanks for the advice.


--------------------



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 5
    #29421544 -

That's me dude, I can't help but bring the laughter wherever I go, but often, I'm the only one laughing.

Good time to bring up my theory for the best laugh.

The best laugh comes from delivering the most inappropriate thought at the worst time.

I'm the masta' :grin:


--------------------
It takes guts to be
gentle and kind

Another way to live

Your ego is your nemesis.
Seek the truth tirelessly,
Even at the cost of your own sanity.
-fiddle_head

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 4
    #29421587 -

Gilmour Hendrix said:
Thanks, man. I appreciate that. I'm trying to keep after it. I also keep the negative to myself most of the time. Not trying to bring everyone down. You guys know the other side of me. The goofy stuff. That's what I enjoy bringing to the world. Laughter. Sometimes it hits, sometimes it doesnt, and sometimes people don't realize they dont have a sense of humor until I tell them! Ha! As always, thanks for the advice.


I'll tell you Gil, I do love your Dr. Jekyll(goofy) side, it makes me smile every time, it is not how I connect though. I am strange, so keep that it mind, but when Mr. Hyde comes out that is when I pay attention and realize you are a complete human being, both of those sides is what makes you whole man.

I get that Mr. Hyde seems cruel, but I don't see it that way, and bringing him in to the light is a big step in my opinion, keep him coming. And just so I have said it even though it just my experience. I was in therapy for +10 years. In the end they gave me a specialist in the field my illness falls into, want to know what she said in the end? She said that she don't have anyone that can help me, that I'm too integrated with my illness and hoped I had someone around me to talk to. Luckily I found all of you crazy people and now I do :hug:


--------------------
“All Fungi are edible.

Some fungi are only edible once.”
― Terry Pratchett


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Kloakk] * 1
    #29421601 -

She knew.
:rollsafe:


--------------------
It takes guts to be
gentle and kind

Another way to live

Your ego is your nemesis.
Seek the truth tirelessly,
Even at the cost of your own sanity.
-fiddle_head

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: LadysKnight] * 1
    #29421609 -

LadysKnight said:
She knew.
:rollsafe:


Good to see you knight :hug:

Yeah she did, and I respect that, there are others in line that could really heal from her knowledge, because she was a good therapist. After she said she didn't have anyone to follow my train of thought, she asked if it were anything else she could do for me. I told her I am thrown from job to job because I can't keep my mouth shut and have a serious problem to follow orders if I disagree with them, she said sure, wrote a letter and got me on welfare no questions asked..

Man you're quick, how are you doing?


--------------------
“All Fungi are edible.

Some fungi are only edible once.”
― Terry Pratchett


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: The Cultivation Confessional Booth - The Unofficial Cultivation Off Topic Discussion. [Re: Kloakk]
    #29421643 -

Kloakk said:
LadysKnight said:
She knew.
:rollsafe:


Good to see you knight :hug:

Yeah she did, and I respect that, there are others in line that could really heal from her knowledge, because she was a good therapist. After she said she didn't have anyone to follow my train of thought, she asked if it were anything else she could do for me. I told her I am thrown from job to job because I can't keep my mouth shut and have a serious problem to follow orders if I disagree with them, she said sure, wrote a letter and got me on welfare no questions asked..

Man you're quick, how are you doing?


Kloakk said:
LadysKnight said:
She knew.
:rollsafe:


Good to see you knight :hug:

Yeah she did, and I respect that, there are others in line that could really heal from her knowledge, because she was a good therapist. After she said she didn't have anyone to follow my train of thought, she asked if it were anything else she could do for me. I told her I am thrown from job to job because I can't keep my mouth shut and have a serious problem to follow orders if I disagree with them, she said sure, wrote a letter and got me on welfare no questions asked..

Man you're quick, how are you doing?


My bit part in this life is to recognize my role to support you. I apologize I'm a couple months late in this life iteration. I am now in sync, proceed at will.


--------------------
It takes guts to be
gentle and kind

Another way to live

Your ego is your nemesis.
Seek the truth tirelessly,
Even at the cost of your own sanity.
-fiddle_head

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: < First | | 977 | 978 | 979 | 980 | 981 | 982 | 983 | 984 | 985 | 986 | 987 | 988 | 989 | 990 | 991 | 992 | 993 | 994 | 995 | 996 | 997 | | Last >

Shop: North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Sporeworks.EU Spores for European Microscopy   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds   MagicBag.co All-In-One Bags That Don't Suck

Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > Mushroom Cultivation > Cultivation Confessional
Threaded Mode Threaded  Previous topic Previous  View all topics Index  Next topic Next 

Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* The Official Noob of the Moment Thread
( 1 2 3 4 ... 132 133 )		 BeefExtreme 56,895 2,651 11/14/26 09:46 PM
by BeefExtreme
* The Official Shroomery Botanic Garden and Horticulture Hotline BeefExtreme 100 19 11/14/26 06:59 PM
by BeefExtreme
* Other species and teks to research and try about LLL 56 5 11/14/26 07:58 AM
by Churpee Choozle

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
507,207 topic views. 4 members, 4 guests and 5 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2026 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.044 seconds spending 0.021 seconds on 16 queries.