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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > Mushroom Cultivation > Cultivation Confessional
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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: ThurmanMurman] * 3
    #29102234 -

ThurmanMurman said:
My 600 Plate Life where they send a psychologist specialized in hoarding to convince me I can throw away most of my plates.


I'm in this post and I don't like it


--------------------
So anyway, uh...

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Tri] * 2
    #29102237 -

:lol:

I do when I see Megan Fox in Transformers.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Baba Yaga]
    #29102254 -

Baba Yaga said:
Can't wait for mushrooms and their cultivation to be completely legalized so I can go on a reality show growing competition. Something like "Boomer Battle" or "Cult Masters". Just imagine the drama when the agar won't set and there is only 30 min left to inoculate those plates. And then you will have to get judged by a bunch of youtube celebrities like Willy and the rest of the Boomer Bunch. Guest judge would be Smelly with the special dumpster cultivation challenge. I'd even get some work on my face done to get on this so I guess I will show up on "Extreme Makeover" as well and later be rocking up on "Botched"........gonna be famous folks!


This would be pretty cool.  Let's say each contestant starts with an identical spore syringe and the goal is to create a 15 gram fruit... First one to put one on the scale wins.  How would you do it?

Or it could be the first contestant to create 500 grams total wins? How would you approach that?

You can pre-order any supplies you need but the contest starts with you being given a spore syring and then it's game on.


--------------------
“Order is needed by the ignorant but it takes a genius to master chaos.”
― Einstein


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: ThurmanMurman] * 5
    #29102283 -

And every time the program gets interrupted, it's for ads for inflatable SABs, UB's (legal) Shroomacle Grow and Tornado Shroom Fans ("Fan your tub like it's hurricane season!!").
I mean Stipe's gotta stay in business right

At the end there's the tripping forecast: "Nice weather for an all-out scare the neighbors trip today. It's Sunday, what could possibly go wrong. It's gonna get sunny out there, so bring out your tie-dye shirts and your sunglasses. And as always, DON'T FORGET TO BRING YOUR TOWEL".


--------------------
No nation, no border
Fight law and order


Species grown so far

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: KauaiOrca] * 13
    #29102289 -

Lol, like those commercials where people act like total dimwits and drop the lid in the tub when fanning or accidentally pushing the whole thing off the table "do you struggle keeping you grow safe while fanning and misting" and then cut to a person with a face contorted with pain and massaging their forearm "does excessive fanning and mist pumping cause you pain which keeps you from doing everyday tasks like cooking for you loved ones or playing cards with friends?"


--------------------
🍄PANAEOLUS IN MONOTUBS🍄
🍄OFFICIAL SEMILANCEATA THREAD🍄



⭐Baba's Write Ups and Link Collection⭐

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: KauaiOrca] * 4
    #29102290 -

KauaiOrca said:
Baba Yaga said:
Can't wait for mushrooms and their cultivation to be completely legalized so I can go on a reality show growing competition. Something like "Boomer Battle" or "Cult Masters". Just imagine the drama when the agar won't set and there is only 30 min left to inoculate those plates. And then you will have to get judged by a bunch of youtube celebrities like Willy and the rest of the Boomer Bunch. Guest judge would be Smelly with the special dumpster cultivation challenge. I'd even get some work on my face done to get on this so I guess I will show up on "Extreme Makeover" as well and later be rocking up on "Botched"........gonna be famous folks!


This would be pretty cool.  Let's say each contestant starts with an identical spore syringe and the goal is to create a 15 gram fruit... First one to put one on the scale wins.  How would you do it?

Or it could be the first contestant to create 500 grams total wins? How would you approach that?

You can pre-order any supplies you need but the contest starts with you being given a spore syring and then it's game on.



If you think about it then it won't be much different than what is happening in the "Let's All Grow Mushrooms 20XX" thread and having said that it won't be really something that can be translated into a competition show like "the bake off" or "master chef", I'm afraid there is just not enough ongoing action. Probably a show revolving around a magic mushroom farm would be easier to turn into a show as it's more likely to yield a consistent stream of plot material.


--------------------
🍄PANAEOLUS IN MONOTUBS🍄
🍄OFFICIAL SEMILANCEATA THREAD🍄



⭐Baba's Write Ups and Link Collection⭐

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Baba Yaga] * 1
    #29102311 -

Baba Yaga said:
If you think about it then it won't be much different than what is happening in the "Let's All Grow Mushrooms 20XX" thread and having said that it won't be really something that can be translated into a competition show like "the bake off" or "master chef", I'm afraid there is just not enough ongoing action. Probably a show revolving around a magic mushroom farm would be easier to turn into a show as it's more likely to yield a consistent stream of plot material.


Not enough action?

OK, Episode 4 is... "Torch the Trich."

The mighty green beast shows up on the faster growing grows. And the only tool to combat it is a full on Rambo level flamethrower.

Episode 6 is... "Invasion of the Cobweb"...

In other words... shit goes wrong. The people in the lead are dealt challenges that set them back.


--------------------
“Order is needed by the ignorant but it takes a genius to master chaos.”
― Einstein


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: KauaiOrca] * 3
    #29102361 -

Deadliest Grows, stipe would be like Sid Hansen chain smoking on zero sleep yelling at the crew! “It’s the spawn got dammit, not the coir”, “harvest faster” “we’ve got 24hr to get these things dry or the load is lost” 

It would be cool to have a wild shroom hunt competition show. From the Jungles of south east Asia dodging the Burmese government to tiny atolls in the pacific with native islanders who’ve never seen other humans. Dodging cartels in Mexico and ending along the Appalachian trail with in inbred banjo playing  murderers!


--------------------
The Hitchikers Guide to the Shroomery

Sometimes you just have to shut up and color!
~CMS Wilbur

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: OLDDAD77] * 5
    #29102363 -

I confess - I would rather get pulled over with 10 lbs of contraband in my trunk than take my kids (4&7) to a trampoline park ever again! Talk about some stressful shit!


--------------------
The Hitchikers Guide to the Shroomery

Sometimes you just have to shut up and color!
~CMS Wilbur

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: OLDDAD77]
    #29102367 -

I went to a trampoline park with my kids called "SkyZone" a few years ago (they were 9 and 8 at the time). They loved it, and there was a bar i could sit at and drink while I watched 'em. I mean my daughter was a little scared to go and jump at first but after she watched her brother for a bit she got into it. But it was neat... there was mountain climbing over ball pits and balance beams over ball pits on top of the trampoline park.

They honestly thought it was rad. What was so stressful about it? Maybe the 4 year old would make it scary?
Lol


--------------------
Endlessly endorsing empathy empirically energizing existence™

~Always practice radical kindness~
R.I.P. Betty Boop, greatest mother to ever do it.

Edited by QuantumZ00 (01/26/25 08:21 AM)

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: QuantumZ00] * 3
    #29102372 -

QuantumZ00 said:
I went to a trampoline park with my kids called "SkyZone" a few years ago (they were 9 and 8 at the time). They loved it, and there was a bar i could sit at and drink while I watched 'em. I mean my daughter was a little scared to go and jump at first but after she watched her brother for a bit she got into it. But it was neat... there was mountain climbing over ball pits and balance beams over ball pits on top of the trampoline park.

They honestly thought it was rad. What was so stressful about it? Maybe the 4 year old would make it scary?
Lol


Yeah trying to keep my 4 year old in sight. The place I went also did a black light session so it was dark and I couldn’t see him. He kept disappearing. On time I couldn’t find him for five minutes and he was literally downstairs trying to play games! My wife is normally there with me so we divide and conquer. She’s been out of town since last Monday so not only have I been solo at home I was solo there!


--------------------
The Hitchikers Guide to the Shroomery

Sometimes you just have to shut up and color!
~CMS Wilbur

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: OLDDAD77]
    #29102554 -

I can see it in my minds eye now, especially with a black light session. My son was a hellion at 4 years old too, although on the plus side I don't think SkyZone has a downstairs. It has two sides split in the middle by the bar, ice cream parlor and restaurant. But it's true if my kid would go to one side while I was on the other he would be out of eyesight.

But I think what mitigate that is in order to actually go to the other side, he has to exit the one side and pass the middle island, necessitating he pass by me again no matter what.

I understand the fear though. One time visiting family members in this project house in new jersey, my daughter decided to play hide and seek without telling anybody. So eventually we notice she's missing and ten minutes, twenty minutes... we can't find her, we are freaking out.

Me and my wife and my cousins I was visiting were running up and down the apartments, knocking on locked doors, sometimes throwing doors open if they weren't locked screaming "have you seen my daughter!? Here's a picture!" (Who doesn't lock their doors in the projects!? Some people apparently!)

We must have looked like drug addicts strung out or some shit from the red eyed craziness that was in our faces as we searched. Eventually in my cousins apartment my auntie hears a low snickering coming from the laundry closet. There is the little brat just positively beside herself that she had her entire family freaking out searching for her! She was so pleased with herself!


--------------------
Endlessly endorsing empathy empirically energizing existence™

~Always practice radical kindness~
R.I.P. Betty Boop, greatest mother to ever do it.

Edited by QuantumZ00 (01/26/25 11:37 AM)

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Baba Yaga] * 7
    #29102606 -

Baba Yaga said:
Lol, like those commercials where people act like total dimwits and drop the lid in the tub when fanning or accidentally pushing the whole thing off the table "do you struggle keeping you grow safe while fanning and misting" and then cut to a person with a face contorted with pain and massaging their forearm "does excessive fanning and mist pumping cause you pain which keeps you from doing everyday tasks like cooking for you loved ones or playing cards with friends?"



“Well I’m just an average guy and I don’t know why Mycology can’t be easy for guys like me.”

Yes, you’re right. Supporting characters are a major part of the plot. The mushroom farm would need to have a “Chumley”
Someone clearly addicted to meth or some other amphetamines. They meander about trying to sell Pokemon cards. While also sabotaging the mushroom grows with ineptitude. But while also producing their best fruits. A contentious every man.
:wtfsonic:


--------------------

The Shroomery Manual
Wanna Play?
Dream Interpretation
GC’s Ayahuasca Recipe
Free Therapy

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: GenesisCorrupted]
    #29102653 -

GenesisCorrupted said:
“Well I’m just an average guy and I don’t know why Mycology can’t be easy for guys like me.”

Yes, you’re right. Supporting characters are a major part of the plot. The mushroom farm would need to have a “Chumley”
Someone clearly addicted to meth or some other amphetamines. They meander about trying to sell Pokemon cards. While also sabotaging the mushroom grows with ineptitude. But while also producing their best fruits. A contentious every man.
:wtfsonic:


Definitely need a "Fungi Whisperer" character too... The dude that talks to fungi.  Bizarre convos like Tom Hanks in "Castaway" with Wilson. He grows in caves... in the dark... alone.

Then the "Follow the Rules" woman that can't get it to fruit and tries to "romance" the grow secrets from other contestants.

Maybe a shaman from the Amazon too.


--------------------
“Order is needed by the ignorant but it takes a genius to master chaos.”
― Einstein


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: KauaiOrca] * 1
    #29102658 -

We need that one guy who just listens to death metal the entire grow.

Talking about how heavy metal makes the best canopies.


--------------------

The Shroomery Manual
Wanna Play?
Dream Interpretation
GC’s Ayahuasca Recipe
Free Therapy

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: GenesisCorrupted] * 2
    #29102686 -

GenesisCorrupted said:
We need that one guy who just listens to death metal the entire grow.

Talking about how heavy metal makes the best canopies.


Great idea!  He puts the speaker right next to the tub to "move some air" and increase FAE... He might even be a guitar or even better, bass player... His mushrooms are thick, fat and blobby... maybe recruit Keanu Reeves to be the bass player contestant ... "Celebrity Grower"

The Shaman just goes into the forest looking for the perfect pile of shit then performs an elaborate inoculation ceremony. He grows one giant 18 inch boomer and wins the contest.


--------------------
“Order is needed by the ignorant but it takes a genius to master chaos.”
― Einstein


Edited by KauaiOrca (01/26/25 12:58 PM)

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: GenesisCorrupted]
    #29102689 -

Bob Ross making canopies art. Or fruiting chamber. Lab. FFU.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: cybork] * 2
    #29102704 -

Got a couple of DMs from people asking about my spore-a-lator experiment to see how fast this method can go from spore drop to pins that can be cloned, so thought I'd just update it here in this thread where I first posted about it.

It's now day 13 after the direct drop of spores to a grain puck and I'm definitely on pin watch alert.

I've grown a lot of pucks as that's a key part of my process, and I have to say I don't think I've ever seen one quite like this. Super healthy with so much activity pushing up off the top. It looks positively eager to fruit, but we'll see because it hasn't happened. I still haven't opened the top at all, the jar has been on lockdown since the spore drop and unfortunately the jar isn't super clear but the pictures do kinda show all the activity on top. The puck has not been shaken or disturbed in any way. Spores fell on the grain and just started growing.

Here's a link to how I did it if you missed it.  https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/29093375#29093375





--------------------
“Order is needed by the ignorant but it takes a genius to master chaos.”
― Einstein


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: KauaiOrca] * 4
    #29102784 -

Then there has to be a hottie that wears jean short shorts and does dumbshit stuff like opening plates outside of flow hood and shaking jars everyday. But she looks good doing it that's for sure.
:niffla:


--------------------
Agar Plates and Removing Hidden Contaminants - A Visual Notebook
Recognizing Contamination in Grain Jars - A Visual Notebook
Contaminated Condiment Cup Cleanup v1.0

Green Cap Pheno Isolation

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: GenesisCorrupted] * 1
    #29102842 -

GenesisCorrupted said:
We need that one guy who just listens to death metal the entire grow.

Talking about how heavy metal makes the best canopies.


Oooh, I can be that guy!


--------------------
"For the powerful freedom-takers who rob justice from us all, that's why I keep my pistol loaded, powder, cap, and ball..."
Read more, post less!
...turns out, I'm an amateur at everything

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Shop: Sporeworks.EU Spores for European Microscopy   Myyco.com Isolated Cubensis Liquid Culture For Sale   Mushroom-Hut Liquid Cultures   North Spore Injection Grain Bag   MagicBag.co All-In-One Bags That Don't Suck   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Original Sensible Seeds Bulk Cannabis Seeds

Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > Mushroom Cultivation > Cultivation Confessional
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