Seventh trip

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Robcula
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Registered: 03/01/19
Posts: 11
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months

Seventh trip

#25848721 - 03/02/19 09:39 PM (7 years, 5 months ago)

This trip took place a couple of days after the last one reported. This is the last time I have taken mushrooms, so my last report. I will probably post something about my thoughts on psychedelics after this, but in a different forum since it won't be a trip report. I am completely pro-psychedelics, but I would never urge anyone to take them. I will take them again when the time and availability are right. This trip took place just a few months ago. Reading my other trip reports will give a lot of context, especially the first one and the sixth one. So my girlfriend and I both took shrooms again. Again, she was a fast metabolizer and her trip was very short. This was probably 3 grams, enough. My gf was present for my whole trip though hers only lasted a couple of hours. She heard me speaking, etc. Has a short video even.

I ate the shrooms. About 30-40 minutes til effects. When I first start feeling effects it is nearly always rough for me. Like I am blasting off in a rocket ship. Very jagged. And that time usually lasts about an hour. I have learned to just ride it out. Listening to some music, and surfing if need be (yeah, I'm sure I look ridiculous standing in the room riding an invisible surf board matching the flow of reality waves and its pulse). But it keeps me from being nauseated. After about an hour of this I level off and it gets real smooth. I had just leveled off into a plateau when my gf's trip was ending. I put on this 5 hour long video on youtube of majestic scenery. Mountains, cultural landmarks, etc. I was just relaxing, feeling the smoothness after the jagged. But I went to sleep. This is not my usual during a trip. I had been sleepy the trip where I also smoked marijuana, but I didn't actively sleep in any trip until the coming down phase when my normal mind was returning. And I wasn't even sleepy, but I slept for over an hour. During that time at a subconscious level, something below the level of sleep but conscious enough that I remember bits and pieces, remember more feelings than cognitive content, but a few tidbits. I was being actively talked to by a counsel. I would barely wake for a few seconds here and there, then go back down into sleep. Each time I was conscious I saw a short amount of the youtube video I was watching. It was a scene of an overrun Buddhist temple, trees growing through the remains, and the Buddha head had been knocked off it's body and was entangled in some tree roots. I felt curious. Because I knew this was a 5 hour video and it was striking to me that each time I woke I saw the same scene. I didn't know that the video was actually just a 20 minute video looped over and over, so the fact that I saw the Buddha head each time isn't that peculiar, or is it? Because what was happening in my mind was that I was before this counsel. They were all trying to tell me in very sophisticated ways (keep in mind I am a non-traditional Christian, but I am widely read in all major world religions, including Buddhism) that the truth of reality is more Buddhist oriented than Christian. (I'll stop right here...some of the things I'll be saying in this report will find some who might be offended by what I am presenting. I seriously do not intend to offend you or put down your religious path...anymore than to say simply that I believe mine to be more true, as do you, otherwise we would each abandon our tradition and move to the other. Besides I now find that there are qualities in a human being that are attractive to me that rise above them simply being of the same belief as myself. A certain kind of openness is genuinely appreciated by me, and I rarely find it among my fellow Christians. So even though propositionally I agree with Christians about a few things (Jesus, the Trinity, and extrapolations from various other Christian doctrines)I often find myself feeling a more camaraderie feeling among agnostics or Buddhists). Anyways, the counsel was giving arguments for the truth of Buddhism, or a strain agreeable to me anyways, and I was seriously tempted by it. It was sophisticated. It was brilliant. But then a recollection of a mystical experience I had years previous (not the waltz one) came to my mind. I shook myself awake. I immediately said, "Nice try!" And I meant it. I had a great deal of respect for the sophistication of their seduction of me away from Jesus. Then a download of insight was dumped in my mind. (Again, keep in mind I am not intentionally trying to offend anyone here, just report my own trip, my experience, and my thoughts during it) In the insight I was shown the demonic hierarchy structure. And how at the top there were a group of evil spirits with great authority...over other evil spirits and over humans within their zone of control. Authority, not complete control mind you. Each of those evil spirits had been worshiped as gods among the earth's civilizations...from Egypt, to India, to the Middle East (Babylon, Assyria, etc) to Central America to European paganism to African animism. All over the world great civilization rose up around the worship of these beings. Many evil spirits of lesser authority worked under their jurisdiction. There were even inter-demonic wars where one demon lord extended their control over territories at the expense of another demon lord. So they weren't actually united, but they WERE united when it came to their resistance of Jesus Christ. On this they agreed, and worked together to this end. And they thought they were going to win. The original Satanic sin (this is part insight, part speculation on my part, so keep that in mind) even among Occultists is points to an event; the Occultists describe it this way...that God told Satan (Lucifer at the time) to bow down to the humans He was creating, and that Lucifer wouldn't bow to humans....but the insight I was given is this...It's not that Lucifer wouldn't bow to humans, that was not what God asked him to do. He was privy to God's intent for Jesus to incarnate and become a human. He disagreed with the plan. His revolt was in his non-submissiveness to God, the Son...as He planned then became a human being, Jesus. And the word "submissiveness" gives the wrong impression here too. It's not that God is so wholley set on the idea that everyone must bow down to Him. It's a more fundamental matter. Everything else has its being upon the Being of God, but God's Being is His own. In this way He is RADICALLY different than any other thing or being. So on an ontic level He is just so different than any of us, and our own being rests on top of His, that to even revolt against Him you are taking up weapons that also rest upon Him to even have their existence. So to take up rebellion is ultimately futile, but also if I may dare say...nothing to Him. He is not so alarmed that people and spirits are in rebellion. Even their rebellion draws its very being from Him to even exist. The gift of freedom (free will) that all sentient beings possess is a gift from God. It exists upon Him, but also is freely given. So if you use your freedom to rebel against Him, He just lets you. It is ultimately futile, but He will let you persist in it however so long as you will. I believe God is ultimately a libertarian. A small l libertarian. And don't think first of politics. The libertarian politics flows from the more essential libertarian existentialism. God is radically free. He has gifted a similar freedom to sentient beings (humans, spirits, angels, etc) but our freedom is not our own in the same way His is. Again, it draws its very being from Him and His Being. He has let the demonic hierarchy be in open revolt for an extremely long time. Their dominance upon the earth was challenged by His incarnation, and His mastery of them during His earthly life and more profoundly by His death and resurrection. OK OK I'll get back to the trip. This was part of it in my mind at the time, an insight dump. So I acknowledged the demonic counsel's sophistication. After my normal mind encounters during the six weeks of my gf's demonization I was no longer afraid of demons...not on an ontic level. I however greatly respected their power and authority. For example, at one point a bit later as I am challenging them they threatened me. They said, "We will move in the minds of your neighbors to be alarmed at the loud music you were playing earlier (during my blast off/surfing phase, so that they will call the police." I could just imagine the police knocking on my door, me answering with my pupils dilated like saucers. I took their threat seriously. IOW there was/is no longer an ontic fear of their being, but I do have a healthy respect for their intelligence and sophistication. So I woke up, acknowledged a respect for them, but also an opposition to them. Thoughts of Augustine and his deprivation of the good as an explanation for evil came to mind. I was completely opposed to them in this moment but also I had pity. They are stuck in a falsity because to give up the falsity is to lay down power. Power that they actually hold over other spirits and over humans. They experience the power as a good. It is a complete lie, but a widely held lie...even among humans, who also seek power over others...in minor ways and in major. Holding power and responsibility over yourself alone and taking honor in that is little known. As I continued waking I saw again a dark mist as during other trips. This one was much larger, thicker, and seemed to be boiling. It was in a skirmish with a large group of angels. It was a sight. Six angels left the field and came and surrounded me. The captain of the angels said to me to respect the use of psychedelics, not to use them simply for recreation (I'm not telling you to follow this, just reporting what happened to me. You do you. I'll do me. I am interested in your thoughts even when you disagree with me, but at least please be original. Yes, I have heard others opposed to this idea and that think psychedelics are fine to consume recreationally. I'm aware, I don't need like the 30th person to tell me I'm wrong about this. I get it! Again...you do you. I'll do me. If you are coming at me in opposition I'd at least like some reason why you think the way you do. Do me that favor at least. I completely respect your right to use psychedelics recreationally. Don't forget I am a libertarian. You do you. I'll speak my truth and you speak yours in mutual respect. Sorry for this rant, I've just dealt with this enough for it to annoy me.) The captain then said that psychedelics are a doorway to the spiritual plane. It's vast. All manner of entities live here. Some aligned with God, some opposed, some just mostly minding their own business. Things will change eventually. Right now as we enter the spiritual plane, evil spirits pose as all manner of different beings...McKenna's machine elves, aliens, whatever they think will appeal to you. (I know this is gonna be unpopular, again I respect your right to think differently) There are ways they gain holds in you, authority over you. From lower spirits who hold authority over just one person, or just part of their life, whatever...to the highest who wield authority over world religions (including much of Christianity btw) and ideologies. All this was said with an air of concern, not as a command as such. Then the angels made jokes with me to ease my mind. After maybe 10 minutes surrounded by angels with a battle in the background, things changed. All the spirits, evil and angelic, disappeared from my vision. My gf was to the side of me, but I wasn't even conscious of her presence. A sense of the presence of light filled the room to my right. God was present. His presence filled the room for me, it was just God and me. I felt like rays and waves washed over me. But it was love, respect, and kindness, goodness that were emanating from God that surrounded me, flowed through me, felt luxurious. It was intense. The most intense thing I have ever experienced. We were in each other's presence. No words were spoken yet, just a mutual appreciation and love. After maybe 15 minutes it became too intense for me. God knew it, He told me to "Use my wings" ( I'm just reporting what happened I can't explain it all) It's not that I thought I had actual wings, I saw nothing. It was more meant in a metaphysical sense, a sense that sentient beings are equipped with a way to withstand the glory of God by covering themselves, a way He gave us. And I knew exactly what to do. I covered myself. I would still peak out at God, like a woman from behind a fan who is flirting with a man. God and I flirted. I mean this as reverently as I possibly can. It was an intimate time. Meaningful. I have been told that I have permission to share anything I want, at my discretion. Here it is. I am vulnerable before you to be made fun of. But ultimately I don't care if that happens. God is partly what most people think of Him as, but also very different. Even though He has the power of Being, in that He exists unto Himself, and all of our power and being exist only on top of His, He doesn't exert that dominance. It just is the way things are, but it's not what is most important to Him. Love is utmost. The Father, Son, and Spirit have loved one another always. We are invited inside that. He doesn't hold Himself superior, that's part of what becoming a human was meant to convey to us. He is different from us, undeniably so, but that difference is not what He most values. The love of the Trinity one for another is the ultimate value. And we are invited into it. Inasmuch like equals as we could possibly imagine. The intensity is beyond compare, I'm getting a shiver over my whole being just remembering it. The intensity really was profound. Even with my wings I could hardly bear it anymore. I just started writhing in my chair with pleasure. It was time to pull back. We both retracted ourselves in the selfsame mutual love and respect as was indicative of the whole experience.

We are nearing the end, but there is still more. I have to carefully weigh out how I express this so I give no one a wrong idea. After God's Presence lessened. The battlefield scene returned, but there was a lull. Almost like a forced cease-fire. The dark mist was still there. The angels were still there. What I self-refer to as a spirit of prophecy came over me. I was in control of it in the sense that I could shut it off any time I wanted, but there were thoughts expressed by me in words that were not just my own. It's like I was saying what was being scripted to me, but since I completely agreed with every word that flowed through me I was the originator of the words. But also it wasn't me, but the Holy Spirit. I hope this is coming across. There were two parts to the message that I spoke. Keep in mind that my girlfriend is near beside me and she heard me speaking. The message was addressed to the dark mist cloud. Yes, full of demons, but individually indistinguishable. The first part of the message was rather bold. I would not have said these things if I didn't feel the inspiration and power of God flowing through me. I began mocking the evil spirits, all of them. From the least in authority to the greatest. Yes, they were mighty. Yes, they held great authority over the world of spirits and humans. But they all must bow before, not me in any natural authority I hold (we all have a natural authority over our own being, that's why demons have to trick you so you let them in) but to the authority of the Lord of Lords, Jesus Christ. That even the lowly human that I am when aligning myself to God wield an authority greater than all their authority. All of it. Then the nature of the mocking turned to pointing out how mild God was. How though far greater in authority He had let them persist in rebellion for all this time. Because He respects the freedom of all His sentient creatures. But I mocked them and said as I pointed to where God had been, "This?! This magnificent and mild Being is what you are so up in arms against?!" "Pathetic!" (Look, I will not sitting right here do that right this moment. I have GREAT respect for them. I am completely opposed to them and their plans, but I do respect their intelligence and machinations. But in the moment I recount I absolutely knew I was safe to do so. After maybe 10 minutes of such mocking and arguing against their position, the message changed. Now I expressed a longing for them to repent, to surrender, to come back to the Family. Yes, make amends. They have hurt billions. But even in that moment I was moved with compassion for them (again this was a uniting of myself to what God was doing in that moment, by completely agreeing with Him and His message...I know traditional Christians will completely rebuff what I was doing. I don't intend to offend even them, but ultimately I am aligned with God as I know Him.) I told them God loved them and that I loved them. Yes, I was absolutely opposed to them in their rebellion. But that even right now I could say to them that when they lay down their revolt, each one individually, that I am prepared to, for all things dealing with my own zone of control, forgive them for the harm they have engineered and been a part of in my life. I wanted to see them return to the Family of God. I felt such a strong bond of Family with the angels present, I wanted that with the evil spirits too. But only once they stopped the revolt. I gave them an opportunity to surrender, with the help of the angels present. I expressed God's love for them, and my love for them. This is where I want to be very clear with everyone. I do not counsel engagement with evil spirits. They are wily, intelligent, and deceptive. I was almost swayed away from Christ while I slept during the counsel meeting. They are not to be trifled with. I do however from time to time still offer them assistance, under Christ's authority flowing through me, for them to surrender with the help of angels present. Rebellion is ultimately futile as even the rebellion has its being on God's Being, an allowance by their Creator to rebel against Him. My trip ended with that twofold message. I hung out with my gf as I came down. I do not invite conversation with demons. I want nothing they have to offer, even knowledge. I constantly seek knowledge in traditional ways and from God in prayer, and occasionally through psychedelics. (I have every intent to take psychedelics again when they are available if I feel it is an acceptable time. I take seriously the words of advice the angel captain gave me. I don't want communication with evil spirits. As much as in me is I try to make the communication a one way street, an offer of assistance to them from me, wielding any authority I have in Christ. Again I wholeheartedly believe in the libertarian principle of "You do you, I'll do me" But I also recognize that we all are in a web of being that influences one another. And that when things are set aright that web will resonate with love and respect among all sentient beings, whereas now it twangs with a cacophony of beings all seeking good for themselves, even at other's expense. That is the nature of evil. A lack of goodness. But evil will all go into non-existence eventually, and only love sediment will remain. To all readers, I love you, even as you do you.

Edited by Robcula (03/02/19 10:13 PM)

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