tyrannicalrex said:

How would you know you "lost the gamble" if ones consciousness is reset to forget the previous life? Please try not to let this get you down, enjoy, live!

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Because there are a number of other transwomen through history who all lost the gamble
and no quality map of the future that indicates things get better for "us"

consider my exposure to the realities of other peoples lives to be a sort of teaser for what is to come
and do recognize the capacity to take comfort that, statistically speaking, "I" will have more go-arounds born cis and comfortable than born trans

so, in a way, my life has to also reach a point of quality where it is no longer a life other transwomen fear eventually having to live


but more ideally, all of it will be for naught
and the grave will be a peaceful end to a tumultuous stream of consciousness

tyrannicalrex said:

I also feel like art can have an emotional effect on people and can actually change a mood in any direction.

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Pecheur said:

I’m pretty sure the point is not to be an abominable selfish undisciplined douche to other humans whether people are watching you or not.  If you are striving to be your best self everyday and not using other people for glutenous pleasures or your own amusement to fill your voids- and you genuinely treat others as you’d like to be treated, coupled with not pumping your own past traumas toxic bullshit into other people’s lives- you are off to a great start. 

I feel like a lot of people know the difference between right and wrong and making enlightened good decisions and they constantly choose to be selfish, undisciplined and devolving because it’s an easier path.  I’d say the point of life is being able to say at the end that you haven’t been an absolutely trash human to people when it counted.  I can say I’ve met spiritual people who definetly don’t practice half of what they preach and it’s why they keep ending up in miserable depression holes.  It’s almost like the purpose in life is not only experiencing life but healing and growing from your trauma instead of stuffing it down everyone’s throats for why one behaves like a sociopath and then planning to repeat said process their whole life instead of learning from their mistakes.  Mind boggling epiphany I know.

TLDR: Be a good human/try to be your best self, help fellow humans when possible and don’t be lying hypocritical selfish cunts for self serving reasons you justify with fake bull in an endless cycle for 100 years.  Because that would be truly sad and unfulfilling.  At least in my book.

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100%, I like this.

SARAtonin said:

We wanna have fun

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Jokeshopbeard said:

For me, recently emerged from utter hopelessness and despair, it has been a life raft for me to define this as best I can.

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Pecheur said:

I’m pretty sure the point is not to be an abominable selfish undisciplined douche to other humans whether people are watching you or not.  If you are striving to be your best self everyday and not using other people for glutenous pleasures or your own amusement to fill your voids- and you genuinely treat others as you’d like to be treated, coupled with not pumping your own past traumas toxic bullshit into other people’s lives- you are off to a great start. 

I feel like a lot of people know the difference between right and wrong and making enlightened good decisions and they constantly choose to be selfish, undisciplined and devolving because it’s an easier path.  I’d say the point of life is being able to say at the end that you haven’t been an absolutely trash human to people when it counted.  I can say I’ve met spiritual people who definetly don’t practice half of what they preach and it’s why they keep ending up in miserable depression holes.  It’s almost like the purpose in life is not only experiencing life but healing and growing from your trauma instead of stuffing it down everyone’s throats for why one behaves like a sociopath and then planning to repeat said process their whole life instead of learning from their mistakes.  Mind boggling epiphany I know.

TLDR: Be a good human/try to be your best self, help fellow humans when possible and don’t be lying hypocritical selfish cunts for self serving reasons you justify with fake bull in an endless cycle for 100 years.  Because that would be truly sad and unfulfilling.  At least in my book.

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scarabaeus said:

Don't be hard on yourself friend. If more people took the time to do a little 'self inquiry' as you do, the world would probably be a much better place. Of course, being hyper critical of oneself like you implied can be problematic. Maybe it is a question of balance? Maybe seeking a way to equilibrium is the answer?

When I think of the way I was years ago it kills me! What an asshole! But I turned my life around and often feel not necessarily happy, but definitely more often than not content. I wish you contentment.

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Thank you.  Appreciate those kind words

I havent found a way to equilibrium so far.

Hoping to introduce meditation in my life this year in hopes it may help with that(among other things of course)

Masked said:

It takes a lot to truly know someone.  Often, our own emotions and can really cloud our perspective of other people.  I'm terrible for being judgy bastard...especially since I am just as judgy, if not more, of myself.  Sometimes, the way we see people or peg people may be inaccurate and emotionally clouded.  Just some food for thought.

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