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Amusing theft stories thread * 1
    #24285375 -

So we've got to face facts people, shroomery has been dull lately. Lets talk about something.

I went to a pharmacy to get some snacks, but the line was stupid long so I just pocketed them and left. I tried putting the main item in my pocket, too big, shit, take it out, try to open it behind something to get the bag inside the box out but panic (I'm not a very good thief :lol: ) and abandon the idea and decide to get something else, leaving a partially torn open box on the shelf.

This black guy in line was lookin at me all amused because I wasn't wearing shoes.

Hopefully somebody has a better story than me :ohshit: I could talk about my gf who can steal things in a store while I'm watching her fairly closely and I won't even notice. Legit sleigh of hand skills, I need to learn from her...


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:raver2:How To Trip:jellyfish:Ultimate Tek Compendium:jellyfish:Cacti Tek List:raver2:

:mushroom2:Organize to Legalize Psilocybin:mushroom2:

Applying Jungian ideas to the psychedelic experience

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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: Psilosopherr]
    #24285383 -

:shitstorm:


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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: Distorted Vision]
    #24285406 -

have you ever committed the sin of theft distortedvision?

hell I'd rather have somebody dump a load on me than have nothing happen on here tonight


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:raver2:How To Trip:jellyfish:Ultimate Tek Compendium:jellyfish:Cacti Tek List:raver2:

:mushroom2:Organize to Legalize Psilocybin:mushroom2:

Applying Jungian ideas to the psychedelic experience

Edited by Psilosopherr (04/30/17 10:05 PM)

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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: Psilosopherr] * 1
    #24285413 -

That's so awesome that you and your girlfriend steal from stores, you guys are real winners.


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"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16

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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: Sheekle] * 2
    #24285415 -

right? Thats what I'm trying to express here. We're the shit and worthy of bragging about


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:raver2:How To Trip:jellyfish:Ultimate Tek Compendium:jellyfish:Cacti Tek List:raver2:

:mushroom2:Organize to Legalize Psilocybin:mushroom2:

Applying Jungian ideas to the psychedelic experience

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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: Psilosopherr]
    #24285432 -

I guess I don't know how to get a thread rolling. I'm like hey here's this dumb kinda funny thing I did tonight, maybe somebody else could tell a story about something dumb they've done.

"What? Thats fuckin dumb." I know dude :facepalm:


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:raver2:How To Trip:jellyfish:Ultimate Tek Compendium:jellyfish:Cacti Tek List:raver2:

:mushroom2:Organize to Legalize Psilocybin:mushroom2:

Applying Jungian ideas to the psychedelic experience

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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: Psilosopherr]
    #24285438 -

Stealing from stores isn't "funny" though, it's just petty and childish.


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16

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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: Sheekle]
    #24285445 -

hence my use of the word kinda

Would you wait in a long line for one thing of candy?


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:raver2:How To Trip:jellyfish:Ultimate Tek Compendium:jellyfish:Cacti Tek List:raver2:

:mushroom2:Organize to Legalize Psilocybin:mushroom2:

Applying Jungian ideas to the psychedelic experience

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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: Psilosopherr]
    #24285451 -

Well, I wouldn't go to the store to buy "one thing of candy" in the first place. But if I did, then yeah, I'd wait in line like any other productive member of society.

And I wouldn't date some stealing asshole either.




Seems like we don't really have a lot in common here.


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16

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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: Sheekle]
    #24285461 -

Well this one time I stole this guy called Psilosopherr's girl, and jizzed all over her mouth. Not even two minutes after I finished, he found her & started kissing her in relief. You could see strings of nut butter connecting their lips when he was done. It was a touching moment.


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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: Sheekle]
    #24285489 -

guess not. Freakin lawful people :whatever: Never understood it


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:raver2:How To Trip:jellyfish:Ultimate Tek Compendium:jellyfish:Cacti Tek List:raver2:

:mushroom2:Organize to Legalize Psilocybin:mushroom2:

Applying Jungian ideas to the psychedelic experience

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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: Psilosopherr]
    #24285525 -

its really messed up how much ive stolen... im not klepto.. just weird about my spending, i could probably out steal your girl any day. ive never made it known to anyone in real life, not even my best friends. im so good at it, or maybe its just really not possible to catch someone like me. ive done it as a way to really get by in times of tight funds. as soon as i get rich for real im definitely going to donate probably a million dollars all over the place to make up for it


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Trees is dead, this is his mum posting



Edited by trees (04/30/17 11:08 PM)

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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: trees]
    #24285528 -

Unless it's from a corporation or a lawyer it's not cool.
Ever been robbed OP?


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Just a fool on the hill.

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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: pineninja]
    #24285532 -

i can gladly say that i have exclusively only stolen from multi-billion dollar corporate company's such as home depot, target, and whole foods corporation. never small businesses


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Trees is dead, this is his mum posting



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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: Psilosopherr]
    #24285534 -

I have stolen and used to a lot when I was younger. Stopped when a cop caught me stealing a bottle of liquor at 18 when I was already on probation,but he didn't arrest me or anything. He just let me put it back. Haven't stole from a store since.

Idc if you steal, I just know it's a shit storm when someone makes a post about stealing.


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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: Psilosopherr]
    #24285545 -

I saw a guy in a suit steal a magazine from rite-aid and stuff it in his jacket pocket a couple weeks ago.

When I was 14 a friend and I rode bikes up and down the beach from town to town and pocketed anything we could get our hands on from all of the beach stores. I stole like 5 posters, under my waistband and shirt, and walked out of the store looking like I shit myself cause I was walking funny.  Stole probably 30 lighters between us. Cigarettes from behind the counter. Toys. Candy. Novelty Items. I got caught stealing a banana in a convenience store while the song 'been caught stealing' was playing. The biggest score was in a relatively empty large store that sold everything from swords to ornaments. We had figured out that the knives in the display case had numbers that corresponded to boxes behind the counter. We took as many of them as we could and walked out. Sold em when I got back home to buy some of the finest mid-grade greenery.

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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: cannabinated] * 1
    #24285571 -

I done stole a lot of food when there was no other way of eating, also some blankets when I had none, and shoes

 



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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: Psilosopherr]
    #24285635 -

Some1 stole a bigass work van drove it into a rich neighborhood an ran over a bunch of mail boxes like 50+ ,ran through ppls lawns, did donuts in yards. Like this dude didnt even use the road just ppls yards he was driving like a kid playing GTA. When he was done he ran over the stop sign on his way out an crashed it through the woods across the street at the neighborhood entrance. Crazy thing is i dont he was drunk or high i think he did it for the fun of it.


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(when my data is fast play Lemur in chess at chess.com)[ [gradient:#D40B29,#18C418]Any1 expecting a trade from me i havent forgot about you pinky promise, i fr promise shits just shit rt now[/gradient]

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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: pineninja]
    #24285659 -

pineninja said:
Unless it's from a corporation or a lawyer it's not cool.
Ever been robbed OP?


I don't steal from individuals, only large businesses. and quite rarely


--------------------
:raver2:How To Trip:jellyfish:Ultimate Tek Compendium:jellyfish:Cacti Tek List:raver2:

:mushroom2:Organize to Legalize Psilocybin:mushroom2:

Applying Jungian ideas to the psychedelic experience

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Re: Amusing theft stories thread [Re: Psilosopherr]
    #24285665 -

Psilosopherr said:
pineninja said:
Unless it's from a corporation or a lawyer it's not cool.
Ever been robbed OP?


I don't steal from individuals, only large businesses. and quite rarely


Is that supposed to make it alright?

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