Auto-SummaryThe author of this post presents a series of historical events that occurred on the 325th day of each year, from 164 BC to 2015. The events range from the restoration of the Temple in Jerusalem to the adoption of the Estonian flag, the sinking of the SS Britannic, and the Dayton Agreement ending the Bosnian War. The post includes a mix of significant military conflicts, scientific discoveries, cultural milestones, and natural disasters, presented in a dry and often sarcastic tone. The author appears to be highlighting the mundane and trivial nature of historical records, juxtaposing the significance of certain events with their relatively minor impact on the broader course of history.
325th Day of the Year. Dies Saturnii in this year of 2015. Yeah, I know it's been all day, but if I choose to wake up, get straight, and post to the sacred Pub this time of day, then it's my Will to do so.
Events:
164 BC – Judas Maccabeus, son of Mattathias of the Hasmonean family, restores the Temple in Jerusalem. This event is commemorated each year by the festival of Hanukkah. He now goes by the title of "Good Guy Judas." Modern Christians are outraged, because they only want to have to remember one Judas, which the mere utterance burneth their false Christian ears.
235 – Pope Anterus succeeds Pontian as the nineteenth pope. During the persecutions of emperor Maximinus Thrax he is martyred.
1009 – Lý Công Uẩn is enthroned as emperor of Đại Cồ Việt, founding the Lý dynasty. Big name in the Heroin trade during the sweet, sweet seventies.
1386 – Timur of Samarkand captures and sacks the Georgian capital of Tbilisi, taking King Bagrat V of Georgia captive.
1620 – Plymouth Colony settlers sign the Mayflower Compact (November 11, O.S.). The first Mayflower Compact for women is produced only three hundred years later.
1783 – In Paris, Jean-François Pilâtre de Rozier and François Laurent d'Arlandes, make the first untethered hot air balloon flight.
1789 – North Carolina ratifies the United States Constitution and is admitted as the 12th U.S. state.
1832 – Wabash College is founded in Crawfordsville, Indiana.
1861 – American Civil War: Confederate President Jefferson Davis appoints Judah Benjamin secretary of war. "Hey, Biblical names are popular during these 'olden' times, huh?" touts the president.
1877 – Thomas Edison announces his invention of the phonograph, a machine that can record and play sound. He celebrates with four bottles of champagne and blow, ridicules his neighbors for not having electric light and heat, and hosts the first block party involving record-scratching.
1894 – Port Arthur, China, falls to the Japanese, a decisive victory of the First Sino-Japanese War, after which Japanese troops are accused of the massacre of the remaining inhabitants of the city. (Reports conflict on this subject.)
1902 – The Philadelphia Football Athletics defeated the Kanaweola Athletic Club of Elmira, New York, 39–0, in the first ever professional American football night game.
1905 – Albert Einstein's paper, "Does the Inertia of a Body Depend Upon Its Energy Content?", is published in the journal Annalen der Physik. This paper reveals the relationship between energy and mass. This leads to the mass–energy equivalence formula E = mc². (Which Einstein got serious levels of poonage for.)
1910 – Sailors onboard Brazil's most powerful military units, including the brand-new warships Minas Geraes, São Paulo, and Bahia, violently rebel in what is now known as the Revolta da Chibata (Revolt of the Lash).
1916 – World War I: A mine explodes and sinks HMHS Britannic in the Aegean Sea, killing 30 people. "Ehh, it's nothing to go in the history books, I guess," says some military dude.
1918 – The Flag of Estonia, previously used by pro-independence activists, is formally adopted as the national flag of the Republic of Estonia. People get stoned and celebrate. The Rolling Stones are outraged.
1918 – A pogrom takes place in Lwów (now Lviv); over three days, at least 50 Jews and 270 Ukrainian Christians are killed by Poles.
1920 – Irish War of Independence: In Dublin, 31 people are killed in what became known as "Bloody Sunday". This included fourteen British informants, fourteen Irish civilians and three Irish Republican Army prisoners. The first "Mayflower Compact" comes out for women's use, and is beaten in sales by the "Angry Injun Compact".
1922 – Rebecca Latimer Felton of Georgia takes the oath of office, becoming the first female United States Senator. She promptly goes out and buys a "Mayflower Compact" to celebrate, but is not impressed, and returns it for an "Angry Injun Compact".
1927 – Columbine Mine massacre: Striking coal miners are allegedly attacked with machine guns by a detachment of state police dressed in civilian clothes.
1942 – The completion of the Alaska Highway (also known as the Alcan Highway) is celebrated (however, the highway is not usable by general vehicles until 1943).
1945 – The United Auto Workers strike 92 General Motors plants in 50 cities to back up worker demands for a 30-percent raise.
1950 – Two Canadian National Railway trains collide in northeastern British Columbia in the Canoe River train crash; the death toll is 21, with 17 of them Canadian troops bound for Korea.
1953 – The Natural History Museum, London announces that the "Piltdown Man" skull, initially believed to be one of the most important fossilized hominid skulls ever found, is a hoax.
1959 – American disc jockey Alan Freed, who had popularized the term "rock and roll" and music of that style, is fired from WABC-AM radio for refusing to deny allegations that he had participated in the payola scandal.
1962 – The Chinese People's Liberation Army declares a unilateral ceasefire in the Sino-Indian War. A very aggressive bear in a moose-lodge hat is trained to sign-language at the delegations. Of course this ended in unneeded tragedy.
1964 – The Verrazano–Narrows Bridge opens to traffic. (At the time it is the world's longest suspension bridge.)
1964 – Second Vatican Council: The third session of the Roman Catholic Church's ecumenical council closes.
1967 – Vietnam War: American General William Westmoreland tells news reporters: "I am absolutely certain that whereas in 1965 the enemy was winning, today he is certainly losing."
1969 – U.S. President Richard Nixon and Japanese Premier Eisaku Satō agree in Washington, D.C., on the return of Okinawa to Japanese control in 1972. Under the terms of the agreement, the U.S. is to retain its rights to bases on the island, but these are to be nuclear-free. Nixon and Mr. Burns from "The Simpsons" are outraged.
1969 – The first permanent ARPANET link is established between UCLA and SRI.
1970 – Vietnam War: Operation Ivory Coast: A joint United States Air Force and Army team raids the Sơn Tây prisoner-of-war camp in an attempt to free American prisoners of war thought to be held there. "We demand dope. Both kinds. This is the seventies, for Christ's sake." is inscribed on many pieces of wood and handed to the gooks.
1971 – Indian troops, partly aided by Mukti Bahini (Bengali guerrillas), defeat the Pakistan army in the Battle of Garibpur.
1972 – Voters in South Korea overwhelmingly approve a new constitution, giving legitimacy to Park Chung-hee and the Fourth Republic.
1974 – The Birmingham pub bombings kill 21 people. The Birmingham Six are sentenced to life in prison for the crime but subsequently acquitted. They celebrate at the newly-erected Birmingham Pub, much nicer than the old one with the filthy washrooms.
1977 – Minister of Internal Affairs Allan Highet announces that the national anthems of New Zealand shall be the traditional anthem "God Save the Queen" and "God Defend New Zealand", by Thomas Bracken (lyrics) and John Joseph Woods (music), both being of equal status as appropriate to the occasion.
1979 – The United States Embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan, is attacked by a mob and set on fire, killing four.
1980 – A deadly fire breaks out at the MGM Grand Hotel in Paradise, Nevada (now Bally's Las Vegas). Eighty-seven people are killed and more than 650 are injured in the worst disaster in Nevada history. The MGM lion "Leo" shows up and devours the freshly-cooked flesh of the victims of the fire, and continues to devour tenants until he is tranq'ed and re-caged.
1983 – US military campaign in Grenada ends.
1985 – United States Navy intelligence analyst Jonathan Pollard is arrested for spying after being caught giving Israel classified information on Arab nations. He is subsequently sentenced to life in prison. Wouldn't this guy get a medal nowadays?
1986 – Iran–Contra affair: National Security Council member Oliver North and his secretary start to shred documents allegedly implicating them in the sale of weapons to Iran and channeling the proceeds to help fund the Contra rebels in Nicaragua. Oliver North is celebrated by false Christians and false Americans, and is assured no decent American believes he was guilty.
1992 – A major tornado strikes the Houston, Texas area during the afternoon. Over the next two days the largest tornado outbreak ever to occur in the US during November spawns over 100 tornadoes before ending on the 23rd.
1995 – The Dayton Agreement is initialed at the Wright-Patterson Air Force Base, near Dayton, Ohio, ending three and a half years of war in Bosnia and Herzegovina. The agreement is formally ratified in Paris, on December 14 that same year. French rats are outraged.
1996 – Humberto Vidal explosion: Thirty-three people die when a Humberto Vidal shoe shop explodes. Sassoon Vidal takes over with that talking ape from "Planet of the Apes." Cornelius. Yeah, that's right I believe.
2002 – NATO invites Bulgaria, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Romania, Slovakia and Slovenia to become members. They show up late, drunk, blasted, with female escorts, and demand party-cake and ice-cream.
2004 – The second round of the Ukrainian presidential election is held, giving rise to massive protests and controversy over the election's integrity.
2004 – The island of Dominica is hit by the most destructive earthquake in its history. The northern half of the island sustains the most damage, especially the town of Portsmouth. It is also felt in neighboring Guadeloupe, where one person is killed, an old brujo woman who used to push children off cliffs whilst herself in Astral form, high on Ayahuasca strong with Datura.
2004 – The Paris Club agrees to write off 80% (up to $100 billion) of Iraq's external debt. The modern French "Fight Club" is established, and the first rule is never broken. Because no one ended up fighting.
2006 – Anti-Syrian Lebanese Minister and MP Pierre Gemayel is assassinated in suburban Beirut. "This is fucking asinine," claimed the minister, as he bled to death.
2009 – A mine explosion in Heilongjiang province, northeastern China, kills 108. "This is mine!" "No, this is mine!" is the argument attributed to the cause of the explosion.
2012 – At least 28 are wounded after a bomb is thrown onto a bus in Tel Aviv. Tel Avisions across the globe Tel Avise the disaster.
2013 – A supermarket roof collapse in Riga, Zolitude, Latvia killing 54 people. "Save the beer, for God's sakes!" shouts at least a dozen men and women.
2013 – The Euromaidan begins in Ukraine.
2015 – You know that I care, what happens to you. And I know that you care, for me too. Now I.. won't feel alone, or the weight of the stone, now that I've found somewhere safe, to bury my bone. And any fool knows, a dog needs a home. A shelter... .. from pigs on the wing.
--------------------
Do what thou Wilt shall be the Whole of the Law
Love is the Law. Love under Will
Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!!
The Sovereign Peanut has Spoken!!
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