If school bullying stopped then I'm sure we would see a decrease in this type of behavior. Unfortunately it seems society rewards these people with fame; plastered all over the news, social media platforms, newspapers, blogs, etc and even sermons do their part so they will all glorify these shooters. The sad twisted part is that society is so fucked up that we love it. People eat it up like a baked fat kid on Doritos. This kind of behavior is rewarded by fame and encouraged by a society to make it an epicenter for an amalgamation of moral and legal issues. It hits all facets of society from mental health to gun control to pharmaceuticals to black market drugs, you name it. Then all if those outlets go equally batshit as the media and it's a perpetuating cycle of sociopathy.
I was bullied as a kid and was a bully as I grew older. The kids who picked on me learned their lesson when I got older, stronger, fitter, established and the scars of my youth fed this anger and hate. I hurt some people very, very badly both emotionally and physically for what they did to me. I had a list of people to kill for years, but I bided my time. I had even gone so far to pull a few fingernails off one bully and had started going for his teeth when some bystanders pulled me off. I mean, how is that normal behavior? Pinning someone down by kneeling on their arms with a set of pliers in their mouth? Fuck me, things like that never would have gone through my mind if I hadnt been picked on. Did I go and shoot up an elementary school? No. Did the worst bullies get what they deserved? Yes, for the most part (I missed a few) but I wish I had harmed them more, but I'd likely be in jail. I went from a fat loser nerd to a stacked brick shit house the summer before my sophomore year. When I joined the football team, I'd do crazy shit to the bullies during practice, everything from pulling leg hair, squashing their nuts in my fist, biting, scratching, hitting after the whistle blew etc. I also loved fucking their girlfriends, and in one case, the kid's mother. I left a photo of me fucking her in the ass inside his helmet.
For what it's worth, it's half my life later, and I sent a very lengthy hand written letter to a kid I had picked on in high school. I didn't hear anything for a long time, and I figured he was just still downright terrified of me because of the horrible things I did to him. A few months later I got a phone call at 2-3am from him and we talked until almost noon. He said he got my apology letter the day he was mailing out letters to family and friends about why he killed himself. They reached out to him and he got help, but said if he didn't get that letter that day he'd be dead. He thanked me for saving his life and I apologized for ruining it, but his reflections upon it were if the bullying had never happened that he never would have gotten my apologetic letter and would be dead.
We send cards and photos at Christmas now, but when I see him all I think of is the poor kid I picked on for years who could have led a better life were it not for my actions. I still lose sleep over it and it still hurts me a lot for being such a terrible person.
On the other side of the coin, one kid I bullied ended up being my best friend. He "fought back" by filling my locker with shaving cream, deflating my tires, icy hot on my nutguard, "accidentally" spilling coffee on my notes. We pranked and trolled the shit out of each other and finally called a truce after smoking a big old bag of weed on the road between the school and the football field/track. The only time I ever physically harmed anyone was when I gave bullies a taste of their own medicine. I didn't shove kids into lockers or put my balls on their face or anything.
Bullying is a perpetuating cycle. If I had not been bullied, I never would have been one. All of this being said, I'm a strong advocate for pulling bullies out of school. I don't want my tax dollars paying for some psychopath to turn other people into bullies. Pull them out of school, tell their parents to eat a bag of dicks, and send them to boarding school. As far as I'm concerned, there are children who *should* be "left behind". If they're going to cause more harm than good, pull them away from the kids who are going to move on to be successful members of society.
The relationship between parents and teachers is deplorable now. I remember being a kid and being terrified of coming home with a piece of paper for my parents to sign that acknowledged I did something against school rules. Terrified. Or worse yet, trying to forge their signature and getting disciplined ten times harder at home as well as at school.
Parents have zero accountability for their children and expect teachers to do all the work, but then these same parents attend PTA meetings and water down the discipline teachers can give out. Honestly I think teachers should be able to rap a kids knuckles with a ruler, or sit the fucker in the corner with a dunce cap on. There's no responsibility or accountability for parents, students and teachers which leads to shit like this.
If I had been shot by some kid that I had bullied, who knows, more kids would have had a better time during their formative years to grow socially and intellectually. I'd have gotten what I deserved. In the end, I've either since paid for my sins or made amends, but looking back things could have and should have been a lot different. I do hope the people who turned me into the bully I was got what was coming to them, or maybe now that we are older have some capacity to try and push this cycle into a positive direction with better results than the sad sack of shit that public education in America is today.
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