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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: California]
    #20658533 -

California said:
What do you think is wrong with the car?  I hope you don't have a pet dog or cat, because the way things seem to be going for you it will probably die, and then your life will be a Country Western song(your woman left you, your car doesn't work, your dog died, etc.).



i like your posts. I need more people like you around me.


====
pussies are pussies and dicks are dicks but dicks fuck pussies everytime. kinda like rock, paper, scissors/ lol

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: California]
    #20658536 -

PatrickKn said:
PureMadness said:
Fucking typical, everything that could go wrong does.


Perhaps going to a rave would not have been the best thing for you though. Perhaps this is exactly what you needed actually.


That's true, I just wanted to get out my head for a while. Yesterday was very intense and some stupid things happened.

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: PureMadness] * 2
    #20658550 -

PureMadness said:
moonrockmushy said:
...


I am a little crazy sometimes. Because I still love her. It sounds like I'm hard on my self but I don't see it as any more than the truth. I know I don't need to be in contact with her but it's hard to avoid a lot of the time. What she told me at first was she wanted to be alone, wasn't happy with her self so she left me to work on her self. That day she was getting with someone else. She's now saying that she I hate her now anyway so she might as well, even though I actually told her I still love her, miss her and all the rest. She insist's I'm lying and I hate her.


That is a tough position.  I have never really loved someone who was that toxic to me, but it does sound like you are holding up half the situation yourself.  Lots of people like to play mind games in relationships, especially with two insecure people.  Once it starts things usually don't get better.  You life will be like this as long as you still hang on to her.  Being single is better than toxic love if you ask me.

Its the same masochistic logic that drug addicts use.  You've got to actually take control and make changes or else you will be stuck in the same cycle.  If you want to spend you life pining for some woman who has made it clear that she doesn't care for your love, but it doesn't have to be that way.  Unless you can get over the jealousy I don't think there is any way you can have a healthy relationship at all with her.  You can call it love but I would call it being a chump.  You do not own her and in the end she can fuck whoever she wants.

The whole "you hate me" game is something you're both doing because you hate yourselves.  It is a silly game that has no winners.  You both need to work on yourselves, and you are both capable of moving on.  Everyone knows that self-loathing is not conducive to happy relationships.  Maybe make an appointment with a shrink or someone who you can get to know you and your problems and offer better advice than we ever could.  It helps to have someone to talk to and it will be a good step towards moving on.

Love sucks sometimes.  That is why there are a million songs, movies, poems, plays, and stories about heartbreak.  Maybe find some creative outlet to express your feelings, even if it is just starting a journal to help sort out your feelings.

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: PureMadness]
    #20658615 -

PureMadness said:
I'm having a breakdown. Lot's of trouble with my ex and I can feel my self getting worse and worse I really need someone to talk too or something to distract me please just someone


Your ex wants you to be the the way she wants you to be.

This is wrong of her.

Your mind is also making all of this up about yourselves.

You honestly believe there's someone out there that does love you, unlike your controlling girlfriend.

You are lovable in any way. And she dose not except that. She want's you to change.

You have people that are happy to see you the way you truly are.

LOVEABLE!

You are perfect just the way you are because you are pure knowing.

You have always loved yourself.

And know it was the truth and did not know how to express yourself.

This is your chance to tell her that you are happy the way you are and ready to move on.

Also you can change for her and help her recognize the lies of her self she has been believing of her own self.

Projecting self-lies on to you.

She does not want you the way you are.

She want's you to change.

You want her to change.

It is time to go beyond yourself to heal her mind-lies.

It is also time for you to go beyond your own mind-lies.

You are perfect just the way you are and she does not believe it, and your mind is telling you not to believe it.

That is the problem.

One of you needs to transcend the drama, probably you first, (like I did), then her next if you truly love her beyond yourself.

You both are having a hard time expressing yourself to each other.


--------------------
H8ters live in hell.

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #20658626 -

I do want to just move on and stop feeling this shit but sometimes it's too much. I am trying though. I can't talk to a shrink, I'd be jailed or nutted off so quickly it would be funny. In real life I can't express my feelings to people, I have to be the emotionless rock for everyone else to anchor too. Especially for the family that would actually speak to me. Jesus I miss fighting and bezo/ketamine rampages

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: PureMadness]
    #20658720 -

Love yourself.

Stop telling yourself mind-lies, the mind is good at that.

You are expressing your feelings to people right now.

Emotionless rock? You are full of love.

Your family? They are all around you. Maybe not your immediate family.

If they don't actually speak to you and love you like you are saying, then maybe they need to go to psychotherapist. :hi5:

You are the truth. You are everything. You are amazing.

One love.

:earth: :peace:


--------------------
H8ters live in hell.

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: PureMadness]
    #20658762 -

If your ex-girlfriend is being as nasty to you as your making out, then she is probably hurt inside for some reason too and just projecting it at you to defend herself, so instead of being hurt by her, feel sorry for her.

Realistically, the both of you sound like you have been emotionally damaged through your experiences in life and while I probably cannot properly understand the full extent of the impact of these events, I suggest you rationalise how much they actually affect you and also reconsider how your thoughts and behavious are affecting you.

If you have any amount of respect for yourself and more importantly your family, then take a step back from how you are currently thinking and analyse it.

You feel pain in your mind, it is like a computer that is programmed by certain things, things you can alter and at least make some sort of impact on your mindset. Try writing your thoughts down and then look at the without bias and really think about how that is affecting you mentally.

Don't accept being a victim of your reality. It is not worth contemplating the past or fearing the future because neither exists. Here and now in this precious moment, an opportunity to do better and a chance to change things around is a greater gift than most things in life, never mind a girl who treats you so disgracefully.

The fact you feel so much pain over the event of your breakup with her shows you are not a bad person. If you where a bad person you wouldn't give a fuck, but your pain represents the fact you care. You care enough to be here talking to people to try and get through it.

Dependent on how you think, you can either assume she is not worth the pain because of how she is treating you and forget her, but you can also attempt to understand that her situation might be playing a role in her acting the way she is.

Let her be and let her try to hurt you but stand strong for she cannot once you understand she is only trying to protect herself. Understand that concept from a human psychology standpoint and you can see that this whole situation isn't as fucked up as it seems.

Every human is deserved of their place in life, it isn't even a lot of people's fault the mistakes they make.

Not all those who wander are lost.

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: ZeroToTheNine]
    #20658770 -

ZeroToTheNine said:
Love yourself.

Stop telling yourself mind-lies, the mind is good at that.

You are expressing your feelings to people right now.

Emotionless rock? You are full of love.

Your family? They are all around you. Maybe not your immediate family.

If they don't actually speak to you and love you like you are saying, then maybe they need to go to psychotherapist. :hi5:

You are the truth. You are everything. You are amazing.

One love.

:earth: :peace:


I am trying, but I really am not a easy person to love. I am full of love, and I do have emotions, but in person I can't show anyone that.

The most of them speak to me, but only about superficial things. I could never actually tell them something was wrong or I feel depressed. And as for them loving me, I know they must do somewhere because we're family. Thank you

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: PureMadness]
    #20658797 -

PureMadness said:
I do want to just move on and stop feeling this shit but sometimes it's too much. I am trying though. I can't talk to a shrink, I'd be jailed or nutted off so quickly it would be funny. In real life I can't express my feelings to people, I have to be the emotionless rock for everyone else to anchor too. Especially for the family that would actually speak to me. Jesus I miss fighting and bezo/ketamine rampages


:smirk:  Like is said.  Masochistic drug addict logic.

Nobody is going to cart you away, I can promise you that.  Just don't say anything that indicates you are capable of harm to yourself or others, unless you think you are, in which case you should let them so you can get yourself some real help before you get to that point. 

Talk to your family for christsakes.  It was hard as fuck to tell my family I was addicted to heroin, I was shaking and could hardly get the words out.  I was totally surprised how much it helped to open up.  It didn't solve anything but I no longer felt alone.  I always felt an obligation to tough through my problems on my own but there are some things that can only heal with support from others.  If your family is not there for you I am sorry, because that will make any troubles in life harder, but if you reach out I know you can find help somewhere.

I'm guessing you're from the UK by the way you write, so it shouldn't even cost you anything to see some sort of therapist.  What do you really stand to lose from giving it a shot?  Another option would be some activity which incorporates discipline, self-awareness, and inner peace.  Take some yoga training or a spiritual oriented martial art like Tai Chi.  Worst case you get the blood pumping and out of your head for a bit, but perhaps it would be a good place for you to meet new people too :shrug:

I know how hard it is to get moving on things and making change.  You're certainly not alone and tons of people will relate to you.  Still, if you never move on people will get frustrated and probably just write you off as a downer.  You cannot control everything and huge changes are hard, but it is possible for anyone.  You've got to take small steps and just keep willing yourself.  Keep at it and one day you will wake up and feel ok with yourself, and that is when you should start thinking about getting in a relationship again.

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: PureMadness]
    #20658809 -

she is just flesh and bones dude!

she isnt anymore important than you or me. stop giving her so much credit. like i said before, she poops diarrhea and it smells real bad i bet. you strip away everything on the outside and all you have is a bunch of guts n blood n shit. and dont even begin to tell me it's her soul that you love because if she did have a soul it be fucking dark and cold, so you probably dont even want that..

consider yourself lucky that you are going through this shit, everyone has to go through it eventually right?.. and once you get through it you will be a much stronger person and you'll probably get a lot more girls because of it.

hang in there bud, take advantage of this feeling you have, go do something somewhat dangerous like skateboarding down a big hill or use it to get at other girls. girls love guys who dont really care about them.. you got this shit bro.. have fun..


--------------------
https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #20658868 -

moonrockmushy said:
PureMadness said:
I do want to just move on and stop feeling this shit but sometimes it's too much. I am trying though. I can't talk to a shrink, I'd be jailed or nutted off so quickly it would be funny. In real life I can't express my feelings to people, I have to be the emotionless rock for everyone else to anchor too. Especially for the family that would actually speak to me. Jesus I miss fighting and bezo/ketamine rampages


:smirk:  Like is said.  Masochistic drug addict logic.

Nobody is going to cart you away, I can promise you that.  Just don't say anything that indicates you are capable of harm to yourself or others, unless you think you are, in which case you should let them so you can get yourself some real help before you get to that point. 

Talk to your family for christsakes.  It was hard as fuck to tell my family I was addicted to heroin, I was shaking and could hardly get the words out.  I was totally surprised how much it helped to open up.  It didn't solve anything but I no longer felt alone.  I always felt an obligation to tough through my problems on my own but there are some things that can only heal with support from others.  If your family is not there for you I am sorry, because that will make any troubles in life harder, but if you reach out I know you can find help somewhere.

I'm guessing you're from the UK by the way you write, so it shouldn't even cost you anything to see some sort of therapist.  What do you really stand to lose from giving it a shot?  Another option would be some activity which incorporates discipline, self-awareness, and inner peace.  Take some yoga training or a spiritual oriented martial art like Tai Chi.  Worst case you get the blood pumping and out of your head for a bit, but perhaps it would be a good place for you to meet new people too :shrug:

I know how hard it is to get moving on things and making change.  You're certainly not alone and tons of people will relate to you.  Still, if you never move on people will get frustrated and probably just write you off as a downer.  You cannot control everything and huge changes are hard, but it is possible for anyone.  You've got to take small steps and just keep willing yourself.  Keep at it and one day you will wake up and feel ok with yourself, and that is when you should start thinking about getting in a relationship again.


I have harmed my self recently, the only others that I'm a danger too are the varied scum bags that need a beating. I think there's quite a high chance I would get sectioned or arrested. I want to tell my family, but I just don't want them to know I'm like this, or make them feel shitty. And like I said, I've always had to be the one that appears emotionless and solid irl. I've been thinking of boxing again tbh.

There's no one in my life that could write me off. I have a few family members and one person that I could barely call a friend. I am going to keep trying and going with it. Thank you

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: PureMadness]
    #20658926 -

I know how you feel man. I do, believe me. I gotta say though, this chick is crap, I think you're in love with the image of her you put in your own head, rather than the real "her". You can't be in love with someone who's like that. You can't put ANYBODY above you like that, guy or girl, person in general, she has total control over you, think about that. Fuck that shit man, you're your own person, act like one. You don't need her, you just keep reminding yourself of her, forget her man, it'll be much easier. WHAT GOOD DOES SHE DO IN YOUR LIFE BRO? She brings nothing but pain and heartbreak to the table.

She's just a fucking chick dude, I know it seems like it's easy for me to say, but I know how you feel man, I've been there. Seriously though, you'll find a girl who's real, who isn't going to toy with your head like that, and she'll be fucking awesome. I know... "Oh I don't want anyone else blah blah", yeah, that's because you haven't met her yet.

Keep on keepin' on, and remember, you're a man, you don't need that chick in your life. Best of luck to you.

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: PureMadness]
    #20658961 -

No problem.  Talking through other people's problems helps me deal with my own issues.  I've been at the end of my rope before, and without my family I don't think I could have got through it.  I figure I am going to die someday, and what I really owe to my family and ancestors who struggled for me to live is to be strong and patient.  If it comes to self destruction you owe your family a chance to help you by opening up more than you owe them some fake image of what you think they want.

If you really think your family will have you committed and you reach the end of your rope let me know.  You owe it to me for trying to help you out :grin:

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: PureMadness]
    #20658974 -

I really am not a easy person to love.

You are thinking you are not an easy person to love.

That is not true. Yes you are. You need to start by saying that you are an easy person to love.

That starts by thinking it, saying it, believing it.


Quote:
I am full of love, and I do have emotions, but in person I can't show anyone that.


You are only telling yourself a part of the truth there.

Say AND believe this:

Quote:
But In person I can't CAN show anyone that I am full of love, and I do have emotions.


Quote:

Your family is love, we love you.


--------------------
H8ters live in hell.

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: PureMadness]
    #20659284 -

Hey, PureMadness, in a spiritual sense, a lot of people love you.

I'm one of them.




:heart:

will you join us, starting by loving yourself?
you're worth it. In every sense of the word, you are worth it.

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: Chakra Shock]
    #20659505 -

I was just telling my step mom that used to fight with me.

She said to be carful because I'm nice, and I was like, yes then said JOHN LENON was killed.




--------------------
H8ters live in hell.

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: ZeroToTheNine] * 1
    #20662093 -

Sorry I didn't get back to anyone last night, internet died and I just went to bed. Thanks for all the help and advice, I'm actually feeling a bit better today for trying to follow it :hug:

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: PureMadness]
    #20662160 -

Hey man, honnestly just forget about her and remember everyone on this site will always be here for ya. If you erase her from your life and never talk to her again she cant hurt you anymore. It will be hard, but it doesnt sound like she actually cares for you if shes trying to make you feel this way. You'll start to feel better, as long as you keep believing in your self.


--------------------
Punk is not a genre, it's a lifestyle. So be yourself and love life for what it truly is
"To boldly go where no one has gone before" - J.L.Picard
"If you have nothing of value to say, then say nothing"


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Re: having a breakdown [Re: PureMadness]
    #20662268 -

All the hate is coming from you and her mind.

You two are making this up. Learn to see where your head is at.

You where saying you where completely un-lovable. BOOM! That is a straight out lie.

Be straight up! Tell her, look. I love myself and if you don't love me, that is your own lie.

Tell her I am lovable in anyway. If you don't like it, I am moving on now.

Vanish.

Next, start telling yourself, I AM Lovable, I am happy, show it to the world!

That is what people do! They love each other in many ways!

They also create lies by thinking of themselves as LESS THEN LOVEABLE. That is a lie to the human race!

Don't lie to the human race. Tell them you love them like family instead, THAT, is where our hearts really are.

You are fine.
:earth::peace:


--------------------
H8ters live in hell.

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Re: having a breakdown [Re: TurbinaCorymbosa]
    #20662347 -

TurbinaCorymbosa said:
Hey man, honnestly just forget about her and remember everyone on this site will always be here for ya. If you erase her from your life and never talk to her again she cant hurt you anymore. It will be hard, but it doesnt sound like she actually cares for you if shes trying to make you feel this way. You'll start to feel better, as long as you keep believing in your self.


I'm doing my best to do just that, seems to be working.

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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