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Registered: 09/20/03
Posts: 134
Loc: Somewhere in the middle o...
Last seen: 14 years, 13 days
Drunk as a skunk
    #2013464 - 10/16/03 02:38 AM (14 years, 8 months ago)

Being in a house I just moved into I got a little bored 3 days ago, & decided to get into the Jack Daniels about noontime. Now, when I drink liquor I don't feel the affects until I've gone overbored, so when I drink liquor, I get tore up, but I don't realize the full extent of it, until the next morning.
Anyway, not having a valid drivers license, this was'nt the best idea, but after 7-8 shots of J.D., and a couple beers went down I thought it would be necessary to drive down the road a mile or 2 and get a pack of ciggarettes. Went & came back with no major event occuring. Pulled in driveway to my house and smoked a ciggarette, went inside, took a few more shots, then got back in the car. Now I remember sitting in my car by my house and putting the car in Reverse all the way down my driveway to the mailbox, then came back.
Well, I got out of the car and ready to come in the house and rest, & I happend to notice 4 logs out of place on a log fence setting up in the front yard for decoration, & the gate to the horse pasture bent all the way in in the middle, looked like somebody intentionally rammed the gate, but there was no fixing the gate, especially in this frame of mind.
So, I figured the landlord would be very angry with me if he saw this decoration log fence half on the ground. Well, so I walked BAREFOOT keep in mind over to the log fence and began attempting to put the logs back in place as a fence, & it was then I noticed about 30 ants on both feet, legs, hands and arms. It was'nt until later the next day I came to the conclusion that I had nearly 50 ant bites from head to toe in my drunken stupor.
The story just gets worse (for me). This place I was at is deep in the country and cops are'nt even have supposed to have jurisdiction of the road my house is on, yet a city police officer appears driving down my driveway heading for me. So, uninhibited, me stands still fumbling with these logs making a sad attempt to rebuild it. Most people would've stopped and at least made a notice to the cop approaching, but I tried to act like I had nothing to wore about and did'nt even pay him any attention until he parked right beside me and got out.
The cop says, "SON, what in the world are you doing?" , and all the dialogue is of my best recollection. So I responded by telling him that I was fixing the fence for my mother. So, then the cop tells me that he has reports of an underage driver (which i'm not) that has been driving wrecklessly down the HWY I live on, and tells me that both bordering neighbors made a complaint, & I know this was a lie because I only went to the left of my driveway, never turned right down the road. Anyway, I responded to the cop that It was'nt me, that I've been on my property all day and have'nt went anywhere.
It was now that the trouble happend...The cop asked my name numerous times, and I asked why that was his business and i said to the cop, "I'm not going to tell you my name becaus it does'nt matter, you came onto my property and harassed me, while I've been here all day." So then he tries to grab my arm, and I yank away and run to my front door. He must've figured he would'nt catch me, so he did'nt chase me.
As soon as I got in the house I locked all the doors, and proceeded to look for anything illegal and hide it in the attic, then I got to looking for my bong, and it was then I realized it was in my car with the window down, so I went out the back door, ran to my car, got the bong, and the cop shouted something at me, which I replied, "go back home" in a drunken slurr, then got back inside throw my bong in the attic, and locked all doors.
Twas the last time he talked to me ... lol

"Did you see what GOD just did to us maaaaan?" -Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
"As your attorney, I advise you to get a very fast car, & you'll need the cocaine too." -
Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas

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Registered: 04/07/03
Posts: 3,676
Loc: Canadia
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: Drunk as a skunk [Re: Cinopsilo]
    #2013651 - 10/16/03 04:18 AM (14 years, 8 months ago)

fun fun.....

One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today because growers in the 30s lobbied against hemp farmers -- they saw it as competition, because It is not chemically addictive as is nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine.

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walter crunkite

Registered: 05/01/03
Posts: 1,154
Loc: in miami where aint shit ...
Last seen: 14 years, 7 months
Re: Drunk as a skunk [Re: Hans_Moleman]
    #2014615 - 10/16/03 03:01 PM (14 years, 8 months ago)

drinking and driving owns.

grab a 40, go about 120 on the highway, turn off the lights, and just spin the steering wheel and ride the E-brake... man that shit is nuts.


G2 nigga
we runnin' miami

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Registered: 05/14/02
Posts: 425
Loc: kali-forn-I-A
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
Re: Drunk as a skunk [Re: SizzlinJ]
    #2016886 - 10/17/03 03:03 AM (14 years, 8 months ago)

great story.


I dont even grow these things... I just post for this guy that knows a guy, who's sisters boyfriend dumped about 2 months ago.

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Amazon Shop: The Doors

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