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Hello all, new to the forum
    #1353162 -

This is my first post so I'll tell Yall a little about myself. I am a 20 yr old Dead head currently residing in Alabama where I attempt to go to school. Life has been very hard lately. I went on tour for a while following The Other Ones, Trey Anastasio Band, Phish, Widespread panic, and a few others. I just got back into town, the town where I was raised, in January. It has been really weird adjusting to this lifestyle. Since as long as I remember my parents, teachers, psychiatrists, etc. have told me I was a genius. These authority figures have been trying to figure out what to do with me, send me to special schools, boarding schools for the "Gifted" etc. I have never done well at all in school though. I just can't put the effort into it. All it takes for me to make good grades is an hour or two a week worth of work and I make A's, I just can't do it for some reason. I don't abuse drugs, I dont consider myself lazy, I just dislike the world sometimes. At night my mind will race off in wild directions and all I want to do is "Snuff it out" sometimes. I've experimented with psychedelics with very succesfull results, temporarily. My ego/intelligence just seems to burden me the rest of the time. I delve into philosophy sporadically but the more I learn about the world or the illusion thereof, the more it frustrates me. I have constant feelings of confusion, like I'm trying to solve irrational problems rationally and it just won't work.
My biggest problem as of lately is the fact that I live in Alabama. The people here don't use their minds at all. Its kind of like they've shut off everything and do their menial tasks without giving any thoughts to anything they do. When I see these people I get jealous. Why can't I be ignorant like them.
I have come to the realization that I am a small nothing in a vast sea of infinite everything and this only scares and isolates me more.

Well, that was a bunch of depressed ramblings, if anyone can find any meaning to that or can relate I'd love a reply.

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Re: Hello all, new to the forum [Re: treyute]
    #1353170 -

Hi treyute!

I can definitely relate to a lot of the things you said!  I've never been labeled a "genius," but I do have a higher-than-average intelligence.  And it does get frustrating sometimes!

I've been practicing a lot of relaxation techniques lately, and they really put my mind at rest and help with the feeling of frustration I sometimes get.  Yoga, deep breathing, nice long bubble baths with flickering candlelight... They all help! :laugh:

Just sitting down and reading a book puts my mind at ease.  Or sitting down and listening to music, or sitting down and just doing nothing!

As for being jealous of those other people in Alabama...  I see where you are coming from, but I don't think you should ever be jealous of something like that.  Ignorance is not bliss, even though it may seem like it sometimes.

Be proud of your mental ability.  Be grateful that the world you live in is so much bigger than the ignorant people's because your mind is so much bigger!

Good luck to you, and I hope you find peace of mind.

-RebelSteve


--------------------
Namaste.

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Re: Hello all, new to the forum [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1990901 -

Hey treyute don't be jealous of them, they are lost. You've seen the truth now you want to act like its not there. I feel your pain me being 25 and having toured for a couple of years know exactly what it's like to be seperated from all your new tour friends and sucked into zombie land, with everyone doing there little part to keep the (machine)system, running smoothly and not questioning how thinks are. Doing the same exact things every friggin day of the week.
I too had to just stop traveling and return to my home town, talk about culture shock.

You know the truth my friend spread it don't hide it.


pm me if you like I'm just over the line.

Edited by santashroom (10/20/03 11:05 PM)

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Re: Hello all, new to the forum [Re: treyute]
    #1991293 -

I'm 22 and while I'm not a Dead head I run into problems with the intelligence-gap all the time  :crazy:

Just like you I was told at a very young age that I was "genius". Over 99% of people will never know what it's like to be pulled aside at such a young age and told you are DIFFERENT. They told me there was no one else like me in my school. I got the distinct impression that they wanted me to think I was better than the "others". Than my "regular" friends. I've fought long and hard (to this day!) to disprove this.

We are most certainly NOT any "better" than the other 99% of people who happen have a lower IQ.

Fast forward through the years...now I'm supposed to be the same as everyone else? Get a job. Get a house. Get a wife and kids. Get a car. Be happy. It sickens me.

First they do their best to completely ruin my childhood. My friends would never see me the same way again, and I had to struggle day in and day out with the idea that I was somehow "better". On top of that my school board didn't have enough money to even TRY and get me some advanced lessons. I had to sit and eat the garbage they feed the masses.

Then they do their DAMNED best to ruin my new adulthood. They don't want me to think. They don't want me to be different.

After 22 years I've learned a few things (yes that's an understatement :smirk: ):

We are "different". Most people are much more alike then they see, but some of us are less alike than most people understand. I can't talk about being "different" or being "smart" (let alone genius) with just about anyone I know. In a way I'm too afraid that I will offend someone. My teachers all thought I was "better" than my peers, just because I was smarter. I don't think so at all...but it seems that most people do in a way. Most don't want to admit we are smarter, because to them that means we are better.

Are you lonely, too? I am terribly lonely in this existence. Much of my thought is spent searching for the rest of the minority around me. Instead of being able to discuss my thoughts and ideas with people who understand...I am forced to silence. Forced to watch the same bullshit TV, forced to eat the same bullshit brainwash. Utterly unable to express myself in an adequate manner to over 99% of the people I have ever met or ever will meet.

I may be "gifted"...but one of the things I've learned is that no gift comes without a price.

So we pay our price.

Thanks for the connection, eh  :smile:


--------------------
Once, men turned their thinking over to machines in the hope that this would set them free.
But that only permitted other men with machines to enslave them.

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Re: Hello all, new to the forum [Re: trendal]
    #1992337 -

I felt alienated when I first found out my IQ. I was 19 at the time and in a way it was good because I had just started University and I realised I should be ablet to do anything I wanted academically if I applied myself. But socially I felt wierd and isolated and regretted I had ever done the test. I don't know what helped me get over it. I think one thing was my mum told me that people tend to make friends with other people within a 10 point IQ range and I realised that all my friends and partners were very intelligent and I never had a shortage of friends. That helped me feel less alienated. Also knowing that being intelligent does not make you a huge bank of knowledge on every subject. Anyway, that's my two cents.


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.

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Re: Hello all, new to the forum [Re: treyute]
    #1993657 -

Like everyone else, I, too, know how you feel! Well, there's some good advice here, and I can't add to it, but I will say "Welcome to the Shroomery"! :laugh: I think you'll find lots of kindred spirits here! :smile: 

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Re: Hello all, new to the forum [Re: Le_Canard]
    #1994957 -

doh!! i have a feeling that it is tour that does this to us brother! im about your age too,,and have trouble leaving my lotrat touring buddies and coming back to what my parents call "the real world".....arrgghhh!! if this is the real world, where music, and peace, and happiness, and smiling strangers arent the most important things then i dont like it.....
seems that the upperclass yuppies that seem to be be taking over my area have no clue what really matters in life....i am usually such an upbeat, happy spinnin girl....but it seems that when you look around, you realize that nt everyone feels as groovy as you do about the important things...
in anycase...i havent said anything of much substance,,,but what do we have to do to change our outlook??to help us along?? i suppose only to look forward, instead of around us......are you doing the phish tour??or any of the WSP? or phil? or bobby???let me know bro,,,cause we like-minded do need to get together! peace and kind vibrations! bear


--------------------
...Time is a stripper and she's doin' it just for you....

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Re: Hello all, new to the forum [Re: GOLDEN9locks]
    #1995467 -

This thread is over 6 months old.


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.


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