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Am i crazY
    #18465147 -

Im young n hung and ive experienced a lot of things i would say for my age.

All sorts of psychs, uppers, downers blah blahh.... ive cheated on all 4 of my gfs ive ever had and keep the last one dangling on...shes an ex though... they're all exs!!

One of the girls i cheated on her with her mom...when i was in high school...and it got to where the mom had a friend and i got to hook up with both of them (first 3some)..somehow the two of them later on down the road get in a fight...so the friend tells the moms sister(aunt) that ive been messing around with the mom. so her brother found out and then the whole school found out... and it was fuckn bad...

i OD'd at a party one night senior year..pretty big house party upwards of 60 or 70..Alotta people were rolling and i just did too much..that and liquor..and the fucked up thing was i was the one who brought the goods for everyone else...and i consider myself responsible but i always go hard and i just went too hard.  IDR much but i was told everyone was fighting over whether or not to take me to the ER.  That whole scece fucked a whole bunch of stuff up at school and i had to go to counciling...because parents were calling the school telling them that I OD'd. it was a fuck shit mess...everyone knows everyone lets just say

i get a really expensive several hundred thousand dollar scholarship...(or they say thats what its worth)...which it was most likely....  I get kicked out after 6 months..

i go to another school this time i only have the states scholarship money.  I get all addicted to triple c's and did all sorts of hard drugs crack, heroin, coke, meth, molly, xanax etc.. every day or every other day... Easy to say i blew that..wasted my time at school...I ACTUALLY TRIED THOUGH..but i was zombie-fied in class. 

So then i move back home with my parents after 3 years of being out of the house....im only there for 9 months...then i get a job/partnership offer out on the west coast....And thats where ive been now and ive cleaned up my act...but this didnt happen before i went and slept with one of my best friends gf who he was with for some time...he walked in on us twice!!! it took him a month to get over the first time and then the second time was fuckin holy hell...Cops got involved both times he caught us...

Ive gotten in all sorts of trouble.... too much to talk about and probably shouldnt be spoken of....i just wanna say i never feel any remorse for the bad things i do.  I regret though.

Am i crazy?

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18465156 -

Anonymous #1 said:
i consider myself responsible


:rofl2:

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #18465162 -

responisbly pushing it too far i suppose...i just dont care! but im in really good shape and health but i do fucked up things

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18465198 -

You don't sound crazy, just like a bit of a dickhead.  Keep fucking over your friends and girlfriends though, if that's what you want.

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #18465230 -

Youre not crazy, just ignorant. Can't say you didn't live or still live an interesting life. Wish I coulda had 3some with a couple milfs. But yea man, you have to put yourself in the shoes of those you think you have hurt. Don't do shit that you wouldn't want others to do to you etc., etc..

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #18465245 -

Sounds crazy to me

Don't live by your desires...

Only do what you love

I think you might be possessed somehow
soul loss -> do many drugs/don't care about oneself/others

Or you might have another reason to do all those drugs in school

Psychedelics cured my soul loss and I started doing healthy things

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #18465396 -

ive been told by my most recent ex that theres something not right about me.  She says i have a way of not caring..like its hardwired.  Bad things happen to people and i dont care.  I dont care about consequences.  I dont care about dying.  You have no feelings.  Your so numb to pain.  And she also says that i have a way with words and people that makes them feel so comfortable and that im a really likeable funny guy and i share what i have with others...other people tell me this too..but then theres a side of me that if an idea even pops in my head good/bad towards othes but will benefit me i do it with no shame.  and i assume its no big deal! 

Its impossible for me to hold onto a grudge...you could kill me and i would forgive you.  or rob me or torture me and id forgive you.  And assume everyone else is as forgiving....Im very tolerable to change and anything thrown at me...Even if someone is extremely annoying i will find some good out of that situation and exploit it.  I dont believe in getting even really...i mean i doo!! but i always seem to just let go and not care.

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #2] * 2
    #18465411 -

Anonymous #2 said:
You don't sound crazy, just like a bit of a dickhead.  Keep fucking over your friends and girlfriends though, if that's what you want.


:thumbup:

oh and  :trollhide:

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18465431 -

Anonymous #1 said:
ive been told by my most recent ex that theres something not right about me.  She says i have a way of not caring..like its hardwired.  Bad things happen to people and i dont care.  I dont care about consequences.  I dont care about dying.  You have no feelings.  Your so numb to pain.  And she also says that i have a way with words and people that makes them feel so comfortable and that im a really likeable funny guy and i share what i have with others...other people tell me this too..but then theres a side of me that if an idea even pops in my head good/bad towards othes but will benefit me i do it with no shame.  and i assume its no big deal! 

Its impossible for me to hold onto a grudge...you could kill me and i would forgive you.  or rob me or torture me and id forgive you.  And assume everyone else is as forgiving....Im very tolerable to change and anything thrown at me...Even if someone is extremely annoying i will find some good out of that situation and exploit it.  I dont believe in getting even really...i mean i doo!! but i always seem to just let go and not care.


So you're a sociopath.

Welcome to the club.

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18465483 -

op you're a little bitch





















did you feel that? testing testing, 1,2,3..

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18465485 -

Anonymous #1 said:
ive been told by my most recent ex that theres something not right about me.  She says i have a way of not caring..like its hardwired.  Bad things happen to people and i dont care.  I dont care about consequences.  I dont care about dying.  You have no feelings.  Your so numb to pain.  And she also says that i have a way with words and people that makes them feel so comfortable and that im a really likeable funny guy and i share what i have with others...other people tell me this too..but then theres a side of me that if an idea even pops in my head good/bad towards othes but will benefit me i do it with no shame.  and i assume its no big deal! 

Its impossible for me to hold onto a grudge...you could kill me and i would forgive you.  or rob me or torture me and id forgive you.  And assume everyone else is as forgiving....Im very tolerable to change and anything thrown at me...Even if someone is extremely annoying i will find some good out of that situation and exploit it.  I dont believe in getting even really...i mean i doo!! but i always seem to just let go and not care.


The solution for me was egodeath
I didn't care about myself, if it wasn't for egodeath I would be dead in this world now probably, was very sick(hospital many times) and I just kept doing unhealthy things without caring

Egodeath is a fresh start, releases your old demons :wink:

New person after it, newborn, world is new and beautiful

Thoughts/desires/emotions controlling us without us knowing it is commonplace these days
egodeath is the solution, or meditation
the power of now is a good book to read too, observe your thoughts/emotions/desires so they don't control you

moderating is key with everything, sex, girlfriends, drugs
do too much and it destroys

I don't think it is for fun they say thoughts/desires/emotions are the devil in many religions, it is like thoughts coming into your head that are not yours, and you start doing what they say without knowing it

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #18465550 -

A4- Ya i know what you mean about the ego death.  Ive experienced that a handful of times.  Im really due a trip too.  Its been over a year since i last had mushrooms.  Not because i couldnt get them because it was very strong and introspective.  You know, no concept of time or I....millions of ideas..the good the bad the ugly...wat u need to keep/stop doing.  And a little while after i got a job offer and i moved across the country and i havnt done anything bad except hanging out miss molly at raves.  But ive been much more introverted and concentrated on my work and i actually started reading various material..and if im not reading or working im at a concert or at a bar. 

A3- bitches have sexcmonnow

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18466912 -

You're a crazy bastard who's sabotaging himself. Stop being so self destructive.

You don't even need to read this. You know you're fucked up. Hell, I'm fucked up to, but I never got no scholarships nor job offers. My life is shit through my own fault.

Anyway, I have my own battles to fight. Stop being an inconsiderate prick, settle down with one woman, get a job and clean yourself up.

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #18467297 -

OP, you are living a great life, don't let anyone tell of otherwise. Most guys would love to be fucking all of these bitches, and cheating on their GF's if they could, and you are doing it.

You like to have a good time, do drugs, and no worries, you got it made, people are just jealous of your lifestyle.

Keep on doing what you are doing and enjoy it, it's a dream most men would love to live, at some point you might be bored, but maybe not.

If you have done a few bad things, and feel no guilt or remorse, consider yourself lucky, emotions are nothing more than a hassle. You're the cool guy everyone wants to be, enjoy it!!

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #18467503 -

Anonymous #8 said:
Keep on doing what you are doing and enjoy it, it's a dream most men would love to live, at some point you might be bored, but maybe not.


That has alot to do with it i think. Im never ever satisfied! I get bored quickly with repitition.  W/ just about everything...

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18468101 -

That's the problem with living by desires

You can never get enough, and no appreciation, always wanting more

Same with money or posessions, always wanting more, never appreciating what one has

Living a simple life is better, without living as thoughts/emotions/desires all the time

No problem rolling as long as you don't do it every weeekend, if you do it that often it will fry your brain

Same with everything else, moderation

Hope you get the point, it's not personal, it's a lesson we all have to learn :smile:

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #18468117 -

And desires/posessions can never give happiness, happiness is only when being oneself

The less you have the more you appreciate what you have/get often

You have to figure out yourself what that means for you, but that has been true in many ways for me

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #18481811 -

check out: antisocial personality disorder

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #18481960 -

I look look for a doctor if you really want a clinical diagnosis for being crazy.

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Re: Am i crazY [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #18482082 -

i have been to a psychiatrist and he said i should focus on myself and nobody else.

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