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Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest!
    #17870843 -

As a tribute to the 5 year old thread that garnered over 15 pages, he's a revival! I had a blast reading most of the stories there. Some included a mysterious woman named "Duck", a woman who was apparently "too loose" and described the experience as "having very intermittent contact", and a dude who winds up projectile puking all over his friend's girlfriend's chest while he was banging because he was tripping on xanax and booze. Certainly there are new stories to be told!

Here's a link to the old thread for anyone interested: http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/7714013/fpart/1/vc/1

To start, here is a disaster that happened during my very first time having sex. Or so I thought. Unbeknownst to me, the whole time I actually had my dick between her ass cheeks and blew my load there.  She never told me what had happened, but I know. The next morning we actually fucked propper, and I could tell the difference. Most notable my dick actually entering her pussy and she was much more turned on. :crazy2:

It was a sexual disaster!

Edited by Anonymous (02/26/13 06:34 PM)

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #17870897 -

The first time I had sex, I had jerked off like 3 times that day already....I was like 15 and my parents told me at 7PM that they were going out of town for the night so I invited my GF over. Things got hot and heavy and she wanted to fuck, and I was DOWN. I was excited and nervous at the same time, but I couldn't get it up. :thumbdown: I blame it on jerking off 3 times that day and the anxiety of fucking for the first time

She wasn't very good with foreplay tho...she wouldn't give me a HJ or BJ to get me hard. We fucked like 4 times the next morning and it was great, but the first night will be forever ingrained into my memory bank of embarrassing moments

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #17870983 -

Anonymous #2 said:
The first time I had sex, I had jerked off like 3 times that day already....I was like 15 and my parents told me at 7PM that they were going out of town for the night so I invited my GF over. Things got hot and heavy and she wanted to fuck, and I was DOWN. I was excited and nervous at the same time, but I couldn't get it up. :thumbdown: I blame it on jerking off 3 times that day and the anxiety of fucking for the first time

She wasn't very good with foreplay tho...she wouldn't give me a HJ or BJ to get me hard. We fucked like 4 times the next morning and it was great, but the first night will be forever ingrained into my memory bank of embarrassing moments


Lmao bro, didn't you at least have some foreplay to get in the mood? 3 times in a single day.. 2 is probably my record haha. Funny story man.

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #17871689 -

First time I had sex the girl was on her period and didn't tell me. I ended up with blood stains all over my bed...(still lived with my parents at the time) I just flipped my mattress over.  Oh, and the first time I got a hand job I  couldn't stop laughing. She got pissed and left...Didn't finish either.

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #17872301 -

Anonymous #1 said:
As a tribute to the 5 year old thread that garnered over 15 pages, he's a revival! I had a blast reading most of the stories there. Some included a mysterious woman named "Duck", a woman who was apparently "too loose" and described the experience as "having very intermittent contact", and a dude who winds up projectile puking all over his friend's girlfriend's chest while he was banging because he was tripping on xanax and booze. Certainly there are new stories to be told!

Here's a link to the old thread for anyone interested: http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/7714013/fpart/1/vc/1

To start, here is a disaster that happened during my very first time having sex. Or so I thought. Unbeknownst to me, the whole time I actually had my dick between her ass cheeks and blew my load there.  She never told me what had happened, but I know. The next morning we actually fucked propper, and I could tell the difference. Most notable my dick actually entering her pussy and she was much more turned on. :crazy2:

It was a sexual disaster!


What the fuck....I am a female and this is EXACTLY what happened to me the first time I tried having sex, so I guess this is a more common occurrence than I originally thought :lol:

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #17872311 -

I was on shitty e and some other stimulants and couldn't get a boner:(

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #17872328 -

i was all dressed up wearing heels ,, when my man grabbed me to lick my ass from the backside and he dropped me on my head and  I broke my heel when I tried to catch myself..

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #17873718 -

I tried fucking my gf while on a lot of DXM that she didnt know about. She hates drugs so I tried to act sober and it just didnt turn out to well.

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #17876221 -

I lost my virginity a few weeks ago.

It was a bit of a disaster lol.

Everything started off all right but when i was fucking her my dick kept coming out of her pussy. Probably because I was very drunk.

We were both really tired and drunk so when I took too long to finish she tried to speed things up with a BJ and just as I'm about to cum she's like 'cum in my mouth and I will puke' so being a nice guy I didn't cum in her mouth.

She then decided that she was done and told me to finish myself off.

I felt short changed and refused saying it was her job, but alas the lady would bring me no further to orgasm.

She exited the room, leaving me with a horrible case of the blue balls.

I guess the moral of this story is nice guys finish last (or not at all)

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #17876354 -

One time i was eatin out this girl I had known for a while,
All of a sudden I tasted copper.
Naturally I stopped and sat up, she looked at me and says I'm so sorry.
I jus smiled with her blood runnin down my mouth :pedrophile:

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #17876386 -

Anonymous #9 said:
One time i was eatin out this girl I had known for a while,
All of a sudden I tasted copper.
Naturally I stopped and sat up, she looked at me and says I'm so sorry.
I jus smiled with her blood runnin down my mouth :pedrophile:






OMG that is so FUNNY.

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #17876443 -

Another story for ya(same girl just years later)
My lady friend had came back to town for the weekend since her classes were done.
We were laying on a hammock in front of a bon fire(after drinkin a bottle of captain and smokin hash)at this girls parents house.
We start to make out n whatnot, decide to proceed inside.
Her parents are asleep and her uncle is in the room across the hall from us.
Needless to say we got to fucking.
In my drunken stupor I got really into it. As I was getting up to get her from behind I fell off her bed, hit the table next to it and made the lamp fall off and break:facepalm:
All this happened around 2 in the morning
Being a boss that I am, I got back up and continued to do my thang.
Next mornin her mom asked what the bang was.
She didnt lie, she said the lamp fell off the table.
The next day she left town and went back home.
But she did come back a couple months later:datass:

Life was simple then

Edited by Anonymous (02/27/13 06:40 PM)

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #17876686 -

My first time getting a blowjob the girl throw up a little bit on my crotch and the floor of the car. My mom's car.

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #17877322 -

This happened to me in high school^^
I was getting a BJ in the parking lot before school and the lady threw up into my gym shorts. I had to rush home,shower and change. I was an hour late for school that day.

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #17877328 -

I lost my virginity on prom night piss drunk on the floor in a room with like 5 other girls who were sleeping. Kept hearing "shut up!" but that didnt stop me. It was a well known fact the next day in my school. But she was voted our highschool's best looking girl senior year. :fonda:

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #13]
    #17879346 -

That is not a disaster! That sounds awesome! I love having sex with another girl in the room. Just kind of a fetish of mine I guess

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #17879357 -

Anonymous #2 said:
The first time I had sex, I had jerked off like 3 times that day already....I was like 15 and my parents told me at 7PM that they were going out of town for the night so I invited my GF over. Things got hot and heavy and she wanted to fuck, and I was DOWN. I was excited and nervous at the same time, but I couldn't get it up. :thumbdown: I blame it on jerking off 3 times that day and the anxiety of fucking for the first time

She wasn't very good with foreplay tho...she wouldn't give me a HJ or BJ to get me hard. We fucked like 4 times the next morning and it was great, but the first night will be forever ingrained into my memory bank of embarrassing moments


Haha dude that sounds almost exactly like my first time too, except for I jerked it like an hour before she slept over so that way I would last longer and instead it just made it harder to get it up. Funny shit.

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #17879369 -

I'm Masterbating right now!!! come on now who else is doing it with me

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #15]
    #17881005 -

The other night I was jacking off in my dorm room, and my room mate walked in! I quickly changed tabs and threw my fap towel under the desk. He almost caught me in the act!


It was a sexual disaster!

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Re: Lets here post your sexual disasters. Be honest! [Re: Anonymous #16]
    #17881306 -

What would be so bad about a room mate catching you? Everyone does it. :shrug:

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