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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: JesusIsLord]
    #17833426 -

Fuck that shit!

If I don't have a kid with this person, I don't HAVE to allow you in my life. You shouldn't just be able to say "YO, you can't make friends w/your male co-workers. It hurts my feelings and makes me..." What does it make you?

It makes you jealous.

If she's not a good person, then she's not a good person from the get-go. Nothing you say can change that and pressing the matter will only push her away.

Jealousy is REALLY bad for your health

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: JesusIsLord] * 1
    #17833443 -

If she's going to cheat on you she's going to cheat on you. Stopping her from hanging out with guys really wouldn't change that.

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: Othyem]
    #17833927 -

Why would you want to date a girl with no guy friends, I think that's a big warning sign. You know the"friend zone" u beta types all Bitch about, that's where the work friend go. Its a proven fact that guys who can get women get tired of the ones they are around all the time. She dose not need them to have an opportunity to hook up believe me.


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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: rodfarva] * 2
    #17836325 -

If your SO tries to isolate you from your friends or keep you from making more, that's a Really Bad Sign.

Edit since people are misreading me: I mean that the OP's behavior is a huge red flag, and his girlfriend should not put up with it.

OP: She should dump you ASAP unless you can deal with your jealousy. I've seen some good-sounding advice online, along the lines of "Let her know that you won't stop her from socializing, but it's stressful for you, and work out some kind of way she can reassure you," but I'm too lazy to find it again.

Edited by thiotimoline (02/20/13 11:32 PM)

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: thiotimoline]
    #17836417 -

Jealousy will kill you bro, what doesnt come out in the wash comes out in the rinse lol learned that at phoenix house. If shes cheating your going to find out sooner or later, but you dont really have any solid evidence so dont ruin a relationship over paranoia. Hope it works out but I say let her have a little space and if she loves you shes not gonna cheat and hopefully go out less, but if u make her hate you she will b gone, thats been my experience.

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: thiotimoline] * 1
    #17836639 -

thiotimoline said:
If your SO tries to isolate you from your friends or keep you from making more, that's a Really Bad Sign.

OP: She should dump you ASAP unless you can deal with your jealousy. I've seen some good-sounding advice online, along the lines of "Let her know that you won't stop her from socializing, but it's stressful for you, and work out some kind of way she can reassure you," but I'm too lazy to find it again.


None of this even happened though SOO...

Jealousy is BAD for your health!

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: itsthedank]
    #17837512 -

itsthedank said:
Jealousy is BAD for your health!


:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:


--------------------
"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story."

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: mpd]
    #17837553 -

mpd said:
Drewsifer69 said:
claraclairvoyant said:
Drewsifer69 said:
Fuck that. Tell her how uncomfortable it makes you. Then tell her she needs to choose you or her co workers. She should want to hang out with you more anyways since you 2 are dating.


if a guy gave me that ultimatum, i would definitely choose my coworkers.


If it makes him that uncomfortable then his girlfriend should be able to respect that. I know that would annoy the hell out of me knowing my girlfriend is out with some guys who more than likely want to fuck her.

And if she did decide to choose the co workers over him then her intentions were bad in the first place.



Not really.  My wife hung out with co-workers of both sex and of multiple sexual orientations.  She had plenty of opportunities for liaisons with men or women.  I didn't sweat it and neither did she.


Dude, if I remember correctly, your wife is like 65, do you really think it's the same thing for people dating in their early 20's?

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: qman] * 1
    #17837792 -

I love how so many people seem to think that their gf/bf is their property.  You wanna know why you keep getting fucked over?  Because no girl (or guy) can deal with jealous, controlling bullshit.  People of the opposite sex CAN have platonic relationships.  If someone is going to cheat there isn't anything you can do about it.  But you can definitely increase the chances of someone cheating by being a big baby who needs to control everything.  No one with this attitude will ever have trust, and without trust there is no relationship.  Some of you have some seriously messed up views on how a relationship works.  EVERYONE has sexual thoughts about people that are not their partner that they find attractive.  Don't act like you don't look at attractive women and fantasize about fucking them.  Get over yourself.  Double-standards.  You can't make anyone stay faithful if they don't want to be, so wasting any energy on preventing heartbreak of this kind is a complete and utter waste.

Grow up.


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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: JesusIsLord]
    #17838039 -

JesusIsLord said:
This was a large contributing factor to me breaking up with my ex.

I know what guys are after, straight guys can't be friends with girls. There were so many red flags in our conversations it wasn't even fucking funny. She basically didn't give a shit if I was concerned and just told me I should trust her.

Many women don't have the fucking decency to break up with guys while they emotionally cheat on them and feel out the waters with other guys. This way they can maintain plausible deniability while getting away with emotionally bonding to other men. The emotional bonding is 99% of what kicks off a new relationship, the kissing/screwing/physical etc. is just the last stage. They do this because the current boyfriend serves as a fallback security blanket (I wasn't going to be 2nd best, I put her first), and because many of them have daddy issues and can't be honorable and go without male attention for more than 5 seconds.


I agree with this. My friends situation seemed like she was bored of him and feeling around for better options. Only those other options typically turned out to be assholes and she'd come running back to him since he's a good guy and was actually secure and stable. Also major daddy issues since her dad passed away young.

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: Mycjunky] * 3
    #17838057 -

This thread makes me never wanna date again:freshwtf:

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: Mycjunky]
    #17838097 -

Also I'm not saying girlfriends should not be allowed to have guy friends. Of course they should, but when they are being weird about hanging out with them alone and stuff that's another story.

There's a difference between being jealous for good reason and just regular jealously. There should be some warning signs if something is going on. If there isn't then she shouldn't have a problem with her bf meeting them and being friends with them as well.

It also depends on the type of relationship. If it's a guy friend they've known forever it's different from some random one they just met and start hanging out with all the time. I do agree that guys typically are going to have sexual interests in there friends who are girls.

Call me anti-social but I can't really see myself suddenly deciding to hangout alone with some girl from work as a friend. More then likely one party is going to have different motives. I guess I really am anti-social but it just seems odd to me that people would start hanging out a lot with co-workers they have just met of the opposite sex when they are in a relationship.

No matter what the point is that if he is uncomfortable with it then something needs to be done about it to assure him there is not a problem. You can't simply say he's being ridiculous and jealous, you really don't know much about the situation. There has to be a rational approach to the issue. Forbidding her to have guy friends is not the answer either I think there's ways the problem can be resolved more as adults.

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: itsthedank]
    #17838120 -

That's true mycjunky
If you're getting those red flags cover your ass. It's not always a jealousy issue.   
It's up to you how to proceed. Take any advice from here very lightly.


--------------------


spread love
love is everything
2013 finds
medicinal psilocybin tincture drops
cannabis pics

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: Oeric McKenna]
    #17838194 -

My frame of reference was in our younger years - not our current, decrepit and unattractive and flaccid state!


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There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: Mycjunky]
    #17838216 -

Mycjunky said:
No matter what the point is that if he is uncomfortable with it then something needs to be done about it to assure him there is not a problem. You can't simply say he's being ridiculous and jealous, you really don't know much about the situation. There has to be a rational approach to the issue. Forbidding her to have guy friends is not the answer either I think there's ways the problem can be resolved more as adults.


The thing to do is for OP to put his OWN mind at ease and to stop worrying about trivial issues that, in the end, don't even matter. And she was never being weird about it, homie said she invited him for drinks but he had to go outta town or something.

If she's gonna screw around, do you really think she would ask permission?
Mycjunky said:
Call me anti-social but I can't really see myself suddenly deciding to hangout alone with some girl from work as a friend.




I've done exactly this before. How else do you make friends? School, work, other friends...it's like, totally normal.

I'm sorry, maybe I just don't get attached to people but if something happens, it happens...if my trust is violated, I still got myself, I really don't need anybody else:shrug:

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: itsthedank]
    #17838287 -

Yeah I'm a bit stronger than most too but it always bums me out to see relationship problems .

OP hang in there dude. Hopefully everything will be cool.  Try to balance being cool about it without being a fool about it.  It is true that you don't want to push someone you love away over insecurity issues. Its also true that seeing the edge of a cliff and not wanting to walk past the edge doesn't make you jealous of the cliff. It makes you a non moron who wishes to avoid easily foreseeable pain.


--------------------


spread love
love is everything
2013 finds
medicinal psilocybin tincture drops
cannabis pics

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: itsthedank]
    #17838610 -

itsthedank said:
Fuck that shit!

If I don't have a kid with this person, I don't HAVE to allow you in my life. You shouldn't just be able to say "YO, you can't make friends w/your male co-workers. It hurts my feelings and makes me..." What does it make you?

It makes you jealous.

If she's not a good person, then she's not a good person from the get-go. Nothing you say can change that and pressing the matter will only push her away.

Jealousy is REALLY bad for your health


In my case, I knew my girlfriend had lied to me regarding male/coworker/whatever "friends" - so it's not really "jealousy" per say. It's understanding she is flagrantly cuckolding and attempting to deceive under cover of "trust me, they're just friends." That shit is a dealbreaker. I don't care if she did or didn't do anything at that point, at that point I KNEW she had lied to me regarding circumstances involved with these "friends", and trust is foundational, so I kicked her to the curb. I figure 4 years in and lying to me? Yeah, this isn't gonna work out.

Edited by JesusIsLord (02/20/13 09:39 PM)

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: itsthedank]
    #17838652 -

itsthedank said:
I'm sorry, maybe I just don't get attached to people but if something happens, it happens...if my trust is violated, I still got myself, I really don't need anybody else:shrug:


try saying that when you're cohabitating, married, engaged, or etc.


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.

Edited by JesusIsLord (02/20/13 09:37 PM)

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: JesusIsLord]
    #17839953 -

I'd totally be fucking other guys if I were your lady, JesusisLord.

Your posts in this thread are just utterly sad.


OP, do you not have a single female friend?

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Re: Advice needed , Girlfriend and her Guy Friends [Re: shLong]
    #17842946 -

Haha, I made you think and write Jesus is Lord.


Booya

:goodluckwiththat:


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.

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