Quote:
It's supposed to be a reminder to be a good person, not a way to put yourself above other because of their short comings as heathens who don't conform to your belief system.
I can think of a lot of better ways to remind my self to be a good person other than putting my "faith" into a book some dumbass got scammed into publishing.. Or "Praising Our Lord" Or any of that other fruitcake shit christian freaks repeat day in and day out while their pathetic pointless lives slip away more and more... And all the while they just can't fuckin wait to get to that light.. Hallelujah!
Initially I feel sorry for anyone that honestly believes and puts faith into life after death OF ANY SORT, I personally take comfort in understanding and accepting the realization that the only heaven i'll ever experience is right this moment every breath I take.. And at the end of this experience I'll be ready to appreciate the cycle I was fortunate enough to play a part in, By that time I'll be ready for death.. And wouldn't it be ironic if around that same time everyone was like.. Fuckin ay dudes... Really? Religion? Clearly someone got a little to high, And came up with a lot of stupid fucking ideas.. But atleast in doing so we managed to somehow take control over large populations of people we like referring to as "sheep"... Cuz see, They are clearly beings incapable of rational decision making on their own and well, Just not a lot of fuckin common sense among the entire herd..
It's ok though, Let sheep be sheep... They seem to enjoy it.. And one day I hope to have a large basis of people stupid enough to believe some stupid shit I come up with after smoking my self retarded.. like my dick being "THE" reincarnation of everything heavenly and all that is holy... To get in my heaven your only allowed to be female unless you pay up big(Or supply drugs) Those women that want to end up in heaven in are responsible for filling a daily quota of a special substance that I'd call...Oh what could we call it... Holy Water!! hehe that'd be great.. This "Holy Water" could only be massaged out of the tip of my dick orally and must be swallowed (However, Special circumstances would be applied when I saw fit) Where Oral Extraction of the holy water would be put on hold at which point the method would be switched to either anal or vaginal extraction.. Whic, DON'T FORGET.. Would be a sin in my religion as well, at which point you would have to repent and give your self to, Haha! Everything heavenly and all that is holy (Get it? They'd be in trouble for fucking me which is punishable by having to suck my cock more and more)
And oh of course, For all that did not have faith in me (aka drug or cash payments for the cover charge my pearly gates are gonna carry) Or those that failed to meet the holy water quote would be subject to well.. I dunno, what's scary.. I don't like fire that's for sure.. Seems worse than drowning.. YEAH, YOU WOULD BE SUBJECT TO A FIREY DAMNATION SENTENCED TO AN ETERNITY OF SUFFERING AND PAIN Unless! You confess your sins (My version costs money btw, Fuckin up in my world doesn't come free) If all sins are confessed well.. By all means feel free to start all over and this time don't be a little bitch about it.... Suck some holy cock, cough some drugs up as payment for the cover charge on your eternal happiness... If you can't get any, Suck some cock for whatever you can get.. Drug's are always appreciated in my heaven.. One way or the other your coughin up drugs or sucking dick..
Oh and of courseeeeeeee in order to instil fear in as many weak minded individuals as I could I'd of course put an ultimate date somewhere in the future preferrably RIGHT BEFORE my death so when the day arrived I could point and laugh, HAHAHA STUPID FUCKS, All you did was suck dick and have faith in the light your entire life.. Zinggggggg There is no light, Gotcha Bitch!!! Hope you enjoyed it, I sure as the fuck did. Anyways, This mythical date would be an event of soul gathering and burning, Basically where even if you were already dead your soul would be gathered for judgment at which point I could determine whether or not you are still eligible.. If your not, Well fuck off burn in the firery depths of, oh oh what would my hell be called.... Hmmmm, YES Chill Spot!!!! My hell would be named Chill Spot.. So when you get there your like oh dam the chill spot? And then your like, What the fuck.. Why is the Chill Spot in the middle of a Detroit Ghetto, Oh well have faith! Then my boys would jump out and be like haha bitch TRICKED U REAL GOOD , Haha... Religion? Really? And at this point well, my boys are like empty yo pockets mofucka get robbed bitch followed by a "Praise Stupidity!" and several fist pumps..
Somewhere of course, I'd put some disclaimers just to fuck with people and say something rediculous like.. And if you happen to die while worshipping me, You'll be rewarded with eternal happiness in a garden of bliss! That's the real zing on the entire tale, So you basically goto heave 1 way or another, You either die after worshiping my cock and swallowing the holy water for several years if not longer.. OR, You live long enough to become one of the holiest of holy cock worshipers at which point you die and I win again.
Oh yeah 1 last thing, I forgot... Gays are also permited beyond my gates, free of charge.. Gay Sex EVERYWHERE.. I wanna be the kinda god that's like, Fuck your last god bitches WE MAKIN CHANGE HAPPEN UP HUR DAWG. But absolutely NO FATTIES allowed, No exceptions... unless it's a ginger fatty and then that's just begging for like 5 black dicks to join the scene, At which point you have nothing less than awesome. Ever seen a fat ginger get fucked by 5 black dudes? IN HEAVEN? Yeah I'd kick ass and take names compared to that fag Jesus... Healing the blind, really? Fuck blind people! They are worthless and creepy.. If u want your eyesight back you better be ready to pay when I'm in power.. Or be a really hot blind bitch in which case you could skim by with holy water extractions, Just no eye to eye contact cuz I don't like creepers..
I basically just want lots and lots of cock sucking and fucking going on behind the gates of my heaven.. And of course free drugs.. And some black dudes to stake out my Chill Spot to rob bitches.. All of this power which the sheep will have been directly responsible for helping me obtain, Happily I must add! Now all that I'd have to do in order to really iron this thing out is put on some kinda dress, And even though I wouldn't really be feelin it, I'd have to fuck at least 65 young church boys in the ass and mouth at which point, HAHA!!! I'd threaten them with damnation if they told anyone.. Don't know why I'd have to fuck the little boys in the first place but that really seems to set religion off and I'd need that initial umph! Fuckin ay religion is cool, it's like being a dictator that people actually like.. And everytime I am challenged I'd just pull the damnation card and it'd always work.. Which would be hilarioussssssss cuz of course it wouldn't exist..
Dam, See.. I can make up fairytales as well.. And I wasn't even that creative or high.. Just really interested in the idea of my own man cave I could deem Heaven.. Where I could charge rediculous amounts of cash, drugs, and blowjobs as the entry fee, Which of course would have a short duration, Cuz I'd be one of those prick face gods that's got u all like, Man fuck you god....
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