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Re: im in the hospital [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #14863915 -

Yeah, life is full of suck and fail for me as well lately. Need a job that actually pays if you show. Commission only suck cock in a bad way. GL to honey.


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Re: im in the hospital [Re: GoaM]
    #14864851 -

Stop taking the easy way out CG.  You have to grow up.

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Re: im in the hospital [Re: Crystal G]
    #14865496 -

Crystal G said:
Fucking shit, dude. Fucking fucking shit. My entire world just fell apart and shit just up the very second that I got out.

My entire support system I was relying on collapsed. My family doesn't want to speak to me anymore, my friends all relapsed and are isolating and being terrible flaky junkies again, the guys I'm seeing have all let me down in one way or another. I've only got a temporary place to live in, in this sober living place for another 2 weeks.

I decided that same day that I finished the first rehab program, to fuck everything and run. I shot as much oxy, xanax, and mxe as I could get my hands on. Huge, huge doses that I knew I couldn't handle, all while knowing that I would OD. I was ready for it.

Somebody found me at 5 in the morning unconscious and I was rushed back to the hospital. Again. Apparently they couldn't wake me for hours. My roommate thought I was gone and was never coming back.

Goddammit, I am so fucking done with life. Why can't I just fucking die and leave this world already? I feel like there's nothing else for me to do anymore in this world. I've lived my fair share already. I have no desire to accomplish anything, make money, get married, have kids, have friends, or any of that bullshit. So what the fuck is the point of life anymore?

I've got no job now that I'm relocating, no car, nothing except my cell phone and $200. I swear to god, the high point of today is that I'm listening to dub step right now. I would give anything for a fat OD-dose of coachella right now so I can just fucking die to some Dubba Johnny and Flux P already. :lol:

I'm stuck in a rut right now and I'm not sure how else to get out of it at this moment. Eh. I'll be fine, guys. Life is just really sucking for me right now, and if I don't ever come back anymore, I guess you guys will know what happened to me. Don't worry about me though. I'll be fine. I just needed a place to rant for a minute. Peace.


Keep us updated crystal! we want to hear your stories and know if youre gettin better or not. :raveface:


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Re: im in the hospital [Re: Crystal G]
    #14865527 -

Crystal G said:
Fucking shit, dude. Fucking fucking shit. My entire world just fell apart and shit just up the very second that I got out.

My entire support system I was relying on collapsed. My family doesn't want to speak to me anymore, my friends all relapsed and are isolating and being terrible flaky junkies again, the guys I'm seeing have all let me down in one way or another. I've only got a temporary place to live in, in this sober living place for another 2 weeks.

I decided that same day that I finished the first rehab program, to fuck everything and run. I shot as much oxy, xanax, and mxe as I could get my hands on. Huge, huge doses that I knew I couldn't handle, all while knowing that I would OD. I was ready for it.

Somebody found me at 5 in the morning unconscious and I was rushed back to the hospital. Again. Apparently they couldn't wake me for hours. My roommate thought I was gone and was never coming back.

Goddammit, I am so fucking done with life. Why can't I just fucking die and leave this world already? I feel like there's nothing else for me to do anymore in this world. I've lived my fair share already. I have no desire to accomplish anything, make money, get married, have kids, have friends, or any of that bullshit. So what the fuck is the point of life anymore?

I've got no job now that I'm relocating, no car, nothing except my cell phone and $200. I swear to god, the high point of today is that I'm listening to dub step right now. I would give anything for a fat OD-dose of coachella right now so I can just fucking die to some Dubba Johnny and Flux P already. :lol:

I'm stuck in a rut right now and I'm not sure how else to get out of it at this moment. Eh. I'll be fine, guys. Life is just really sucking for me right now, and if I don't ever come back anymore, I guess you guys will know what happened to me. Don't worry about me though. I'll be fine. I just needed a place to rant for a minute. Peace.


us some safer drugs, get into some NA meetings, if support systems help you

honestly, shit helps

get this attitude of death out, I used to be proponent #1 of that mindset, but honestly, when you die, ain't no more nothing

no

more

nothing

ever

good or bad

ride's over, forever

and that shit's inevitable anyway, so why not use your young body at least until it starts getting all fucky a few years from now

shit may be dinged up, but I'm sure it's not a clunker just yet

honestly, I still use a huge array of drugs, and I'm a staunch atheist, but being going to a narcotics anonymous meeting really kinda put a little lid lock on the ole ojos

when you're dead, you're worm food

get your act together, not for anyone else, but so you can be greedy and be a hedonist for the rest of your life

:hug:


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"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"

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Re: im in the hospital [Re: DrMambo]
    #14865533 -

DrMambo said:
Crystal G said:
Fucking shit, dude. Fucking fucking shit. My entire world just fell apart and shit just up the very second that I got out.

My entire support system I was relying on collapsed. My family doesn't want to speak to me anymore, my friends all relapsed and are isolating and being terrible flaky junkies again, the guys I'm seeing have all let me down in one way or another. I've only got a temporary place to live in, in this sober living place for another 2 weeks.

I decided that same day that I finished the first rehab program, to fuck everything and run. I shot as much oxy, xanax, and mxe as I could get my hands on. Huge, huge doses that I knew I couldn't handle, all while knowing that I would OD. I was ready for it.

Somebody found me at 5 in the morning unconscious and I was rushed back to the hospital. Again. Apparently they couldn't wake me for hours. My roommate thought I was gone and was never coming back.

Goddammit, I am so fucking done with life. Why can't I just fucking die and leave this world already? I feel like there's nothing else for me to do anymore in this world. I've lived my fair share already. I have no desire to accomplish anything, make money, get married, have kids, have friends, or any of that bullshit. So what the fuck is the point of life anymore?

I've got no job now that I'm relocating, no car, nothing except my cell phone and $200. I swear to god, the high point of today is that I'm listening to dub step right now. I would give anything for a fat OD-dose of coachella right now so I can just fucking die to some Dubba Johnny and Flux P already. :lol:

I'm stuck in a rut right now and I'm not sure how else to get out of it at this moment. Eh. I'll be fine, guys. Life is just really sucking for me right now, and if I don't ever come back anymore, I guess you guys will know what happened to me. Don't worry about me though. I'll be fine. I just needed a place to rant for a minute. Peace.


us some safer drugs, get into some NA meetings

honestly, shit helps

get this attitude of death out, I used to be proponent #1 of that mindset, but honestly, when you die, ain't no more nothing

no

more

nothing

ever

good or bad

ride's over, forever

honestly, I still use a huge array of drugs, and I'm a staunch atheist, but being going to a narcotics anonymous meeting really kinda put a little lid lock on the ole ojos

when you're dead, you're worm food

get your act together, not for anyone else, but so you can be greedy and be a hedonist for the rest of your life



why you gotta get all subjective and shit

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Re: im in the hospital [Re: unam sanctum]
    #14865607 -

uhh, subjective how?

I want her to do her thangs but not kill herself in the process

why do you have to get so subjective?


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"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"

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Re: im in the hospital [Re: unam sanctum]
    #14865620 -

also, notice I edited to say, "if support systems help you"

it's not about stopping so much as having some other folks on dr00gs whom you can bs about doing slightly less dr00gs with

you know, if they keep putting you in the hospital or shit like that


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"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"

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Re: im in the hospital [Re: DrMambo]
    #14865662 -

I just think it's more sobering to present the options factually:

for everything we know, there is no afterlife
at the same time, the most modern of elements of science suggest everything
was once connected.  meaning nothing can never be separated from the great
totality which is.  hopefully suggesting we will live again.  guess it all comes
down to instinct and opinions though...


I'd never suggest or promote suicide, but I think having an honest conversation is
essential to anything....I don't know CG, but it's quite obvious she has little regard
for her own life.  there's been some good advice in this thread alone,
and I'd bet she has people who care about her who are willing to reach out and help.
I know it can all seem overwhelming but you either have a desire to live or not. 
:shrug:

edit: and live just for the sake of living at that.  to me drugs aren't even fun
and rather become a burden every time I start to get addicted.

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Re: im in the hospital [Re: unam sanctum]
    #14865674 -

precisely

honestly, I think getting in touch with folks who have been in her situation, such as narcotics anonymous, even if she wants to keep using, could be beneficial


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"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"

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Re: im in the hospital [Re: DrMambo]
    #14866023 -

CG will be the new Ripper :feelsbadman:

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Re: im in the hospital [Re: DrMambo]
    #14866111 -

In the end what you do with your life is your decision.
However, its very fucked up CG is being a burden on other peoples lives too.
Such as the women who found her passed out and I'm sure very many more people that have helped keep her alive while ODing.
Thats not a very nice emotional burden to force onto people. Perhaps you will consider this and get clean once and for all.

You MUST sever all your drug deal connections if you wish to get clean:awesomenod:

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Re: im in the hospital [Re: i like cow poo]
    #14867242 -

Wait.. what happened to ripper??


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Re: im in the hospital [Re: Hakim0777]
    #14867297 -

Hakim0777 said:
Wait.. what happened to ripper??


was too hardcore, died live on the Shroomery

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Re: im in the hospital [Re: shLong]
    #14867309 -

no fuckin way. holy shit.


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Re: im in the hospital [Re: shLong]
    #14867310 -

shLong said:
CG will be the new Ripper :feelsbadman:


People thought Crystal died years ago.  THen she came back spirited as a clam.  I'm sure she'll be around for a while... popping back on teh Shroomery every now and then.


ANd if not, then she's either (a)moved on, got happy, and abandoned her drug life, or (b)successfully accomplished her goal of ending life via a conglomeration of too-heavy-drug-doses


Either way, she'll do EXACTLY what she wants, and nothing less/more.

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Re: im in the hospital [Re: shLong]
    #14867313 -

shLong said:
Hakim0777 said:
Wait.. what happened to ripper??


was too hardcore, died live on the Shroomery


No, died live on Shroomery IRC, to supportive cheers from other members online at the time :frown:

not a cool situation.

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Re: im in the hospital [Re: shLong]
    #14867323 -

That's a shitty thing to say.

Don't give in to the bullshit Crystal.:mastershake:


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Re: im in the hospital [Re: memes]
    #14867329 -

what did he OD on?


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Re: im in the hospital [Re: Hakim0777]
    #14867337 -

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/2724819.stm

damn.


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Re: im in the hospital [Re: Hakim0777]
    #14867393 -

You can read the transcript from that night. It is not a fun read, but if you consider yourself a member of our community, you should read it.


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The Psychedelic Salon -- Erowid -- MAPS -- The Genesis Generation

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