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To those of you with an extensive drinking history that tend to drink supple amounts daily.....
    #11475267 -

do you have absolute morbidly hellish depression if u try to go a day or 2 without it?
back when i was younger...i could go on a bender of up to a month or more daily....and id feel a little run down if i tried sobering up.  but for the most part i was still able to be at least sociable enough....or at least not stricken with incredibly crippling anxiety, depression and paranoia.
these days......when i try to take a lil break and just clean out my system i cant leave the house.  if i do, i have a constant panic attack.  so bad to the point that i feel like im going to be murdered, or my heart is just gona explode.  its the worst.  sometimes the only reason i do it is because im broke.  and once i come up with the money....the walk to the store is horrifying. 
ill walk past people that i otherwise always hang out with and rage with that are used to me being very sociable...and when they come up to talk to me i cant make eye contact.  im scared as hell just talking tryin to come up with converstaion.  when i talk, my voice is all shaky. 
alot of times i just feel like i want to cry.  in my chest, my face, stomache, head, everything.  i just cant understand either.  i mean i do, its withdrawl.  but its amazing at how much it changed my personality.
i feel like im being a huge prick just keeping to myself, but theres no way i can get around it.  sometimes i just come out with it and tell people, sory man, i just realy need a fucking drink.  ill have to check u later.
then when i finaly score some, i cant take that walk back home or back out into public till i get a buzz on.  i usualy go around the corner of the store and slam some behind a dumpster untill i get loose enough to show my face on the street. 
and at that point, i look back and almost laugh at my insecurities and anxiety.  i get a lil buzz and im like, psht, fuk the world. 
where as i get trapped by people i see on the fly, when i get loose, i can flow so good and just be like, yo, ill hafta check u lata im on my way.  but when im realy tryna get away from them, its like im hostage to them.  i cant break a conversation for shit! 
im rambling...its just such an insane feeling.  i cant stand it.  it usualy takes like the third day of being sober and drinking mad water so as to clean my system out, that i get back to my old self.  able to crack a smile and hold a conversation sober.
i gather ive been experiencing this for some time, but i rarely stop drinking.  so i dont experience it so much and it always seems newer and darker everytime.
im sick of drinking.  longest i went was last year....i stoped drinking from late august all the way into late october. 
its a lame excuse, but if i could find a seriously steady job, i think id be able to do it.  its just not having shit to do all the time. 
the last longest job i had was about 4 months.  i did realy good then.  i drank, sometimes even every day, but just a couple beers after work. 
but this shit is getin old, and ive said it so many times.  i just gota fukin remember how much hell i go through tryin to stop each time and just take it easy all the time.  that or make sure i can keep up the hardcore drinking all the time.
this past time i stopped it was cause i wanted to.  but usualy its just cause i run out of money.  and then i get sober again and wana go with that. 
fuk i know this is a ramble and uncomprehensive as fuk as my thoughts just race and i type as i think and dont take time out for format and catch alota heat for it, but, u dont hafta read it.  so with that....just tryna get some feedback, but its whatever just the same.  i know what i hafta/should do. 
alcohol sux. 
right now, i wont be able to drive again till january.  been a year and 4 months or so, as i had an insurance lapse after i went out west for a while.  when i came back home and tried to get everything taken care of, they told me i had to wait a year an a half almost.  well, im 2 months away, and hella psyched to get back on the road, as im sure it will help me find a steady job, and also just bein able to take a ride down to the water, bring my dog to the beach, just drive around, etc will give me more to do.  at least get out more.  i walk around plenty but, sux when its cold even tho it dont bother me so much and i dress appropriately and chill in blizzards all the time.  it also should deter me from drinking as i dont need any more dwi's.
january couldnt come any sooner!  rah, sorry for the rant.  but im feelin better now!  :cool:  peace!


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Big Gulps!  Alright!  Well,  See ya later!
And if i claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that i dont know!

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Re: To those of you with an extensive drinking history that tend to drink supple amounts daily..... [Re: DeadPhan]
    #11475282 -

Smoke weed instead :smile:


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“I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens.
I've been knocking from the inside.” - Rumi

“The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff.” - Carl Sagan

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Re: To those of you with an extensive drinking history that tend to drink supple amounts daily..... [Re: DeadPhan]
    #11475296 -

How old are you?

My parents have been drinking everyday for as long as I can remember. They aren't drunks or anything. They probably finish off a 12 pack a night between them. If they go a couple day or a week without a drinking they are fine.

I drink about as much as them a night, maybe a little more. I'm 20, and I feel fine without booze also.

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Re: To those of you with an extensive drinking history that tend to drink supple amounts daily..... [Re: DeadPhan]
    #11475302 -

DeadPhan said:

back when i was younger...i could go on a bender of up to a month or more daily..


:confused: You lost me here.

Please tell me the secrets to bending time and space oh drunkest one!
:etjesus:


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The Prophecy!

Learn To Code

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Re: To those of you with an extensive drinking history that tend to drink supple amounts daily..... [Re: Solemente]
    #11475317 -

Hey man, I recommend Alcoholics Anonymous. Alcoholism is a disease and you probably can't beat this thing on your own. At AA meetings people share their courage strength and hope and everyone shares the desire to stay clean of alcohol and for most people the program works very well.


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Re: To those of you with an extensive drinking history that tend to drink supple amounts daily..... [Re: Solemente]
    #11475385 -

im 28
i drink an 18 pack on average of beer a night
12 for me, and i barely catch a buzz.
160 pounds 
when i drink liquor, theres no saying.  i could easily polish off a half of one of those huge bottles of absolute a night
qaurter of those huge bottles of whiskey.
not as easy to measure with the liquor.  and im more of a beer person.  liquor is once in a while and im usualy passin it around so hard to say.  but i can drink the best of em under the table for sure.
a 12 pack between 2 people?  i dont even realy consider myself as "drinking" when i drink that little.  a 12 pack to my head of like malt liquor which is higher gravity than most beer, will catch me a lil buzz.  but on average, 18 easy


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Big Gulps!  Alright!  Well,  See ya later!
And if i claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that i dont know!

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Re: To those of you with an extensive drinking history that tend to drink supple amounts daily..... [Re: DeadPhan]
    #11475393 -

I'm an alcoholic. Extensive alcoholism in my family on both sides ...(Irish?):blush: I drink daily, often have a beer with breakfast and yes, I  get anxious if I go without alcohol for more than half a day...:shrug: :cheers:  . . . BTW, AA ?? :jesussaves:


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"All mushrooms are edible; but some only once." Croatian proverb. BTW ...
  Have You Rated Ythans Mom Yet ?? ... :taser:  ... HERE'S HOW ... (be nice) .  :mod: ... :peace:

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Re: To those of you with an extensive drinking history that tend to drink supple amounts daily..... [Re: blewmeanie]
    #11475399 -

blewmeanie said:
DeadPhan said:

back when i was younger...i could go on a bender of up to a month or more daily..


:confused: You lost me here.

Please tell me the secrets to bending time and space oh drunkest one!
:etjesus:


a bender to me always meant, like, drinkin for an extended period of time.  a bender:  drinking daily, and constantly for a number of days, weeks, months, years, etc.
?  :shrug:  just what its always meant in my circle of friends.


--------------------
 


Big Gulps!  Alright!  Well,  See ya later!
And if i claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that i dont know!

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Re: To those of you with an extensive drinking history that tend to drink supple amounts daily..... [Re: EternalCowabunga]
    #11475432 -

yea...i hear ya
i gone to AA alot of the years. 
i think i need to find a specific group of younger guys.  cause most of the ones in my area are filled with much older people
in some ways i can relate to them
but, its just different.  and i just dont think it is as effective as if i went with a group of peers my age ya know
but it still helps a lil
and its something to do


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Big Gulps!  Alright!  Well,  See ya later!
And if i claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that i dont know!

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Re: To those of you with an extensive drinking history that tend to drink supple amounts daily..... [Re: DeadPhan]
    #11475433 -

DeadPhan said:
blewmeanie said:
DeadPhan said:

back when i was younger...i could go on a bender of up to a month or more daily..


:confused: You lost me here.

Please tell me the secrets to bending time and space oh drunkest one!
:etjesus:


a bender to me always meant, like, drinkin for an extended period of time.  a bender:  drinking daily, and constantly for a number of days, weeks, months, years, etc.
?  :shrug:  just what its always meant in my circle of friends.


he's confused because you said that you can go on a month long bender every day.


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Whiskey works better than beer

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Re: To those of you with an extensive drinking history that tend to drink supple amounts daily..... [Re: vinsue]
    #11475478 -

as far as AA, im not into the whole God part of it...but i can dig a place to talk with others about your experiences and such so as to find a way to relate.  there are times, where i seriously cant believe anyones had it as bad as me in the ways of anxiety.  maybe thats selfish, but its so severe im like, no fucking way.  theres gota be something else wrong with me and maybe there is, but  always good to hear that might not the case tho.  im diagnosed bipolar but i always thought of it as a bunch of bullshit.  i have my ups and downs just like everyone else.  and i think im more bipolar when i drink on the regular to be honest. 
id like to think i can get to a point where i can just drink here and there.  but that method hasnt been workin out for me so well over the years.  but ive also havent had a steady job in the longest time.  aside from haulin items for the mob  :wink:


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Big Gulps!  Alright!  Well,  See ya later!
And if i claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that i dont know!

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Re: To those of you with an extensive drinking history that tend to drink supple amounts daily..... [Re: pnuma]
    #11475489 -

pnuma said:
DeadPhan said:
blewmeanie said:
DeadPhan said:

back when i was younger...i could go on a bender of up to a month or more daily..


:confused: You lost me here.

Please tell me the secrets to bending time and space oh drunkest one!
:etjesus:


a bender to me always meant, like, drinkin for an extended period of time.  a bender:  drinking daily, and constantly for a number of days, weeks, months, years, etc.
?  :shrug:  just what its always meant in my circle of friends.


he's confused because you said that you can go on a month long bender every day.


oh...ok, a month or more bender of daily drinking.  hows that?  lol


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Big Gulps!  Alright!  Well,  See ya later!
And if i claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that i dont know!

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Re: To those of you with an extensive drinking history that tend to drink supple amounts daily..... [Re: DeadPhan]
    #11475538 -

The way you said it it sounds like you go on a month long bender every day, which doesn't make much sense.  :crazy2:


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]

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Re: To those of you with an extensive drinking history that tend to drink supple amounts daily..... [Re: Wysefool]
    #11475591 -

Well, I have friends who get drunk pretty much every night and have for probably over 20 years and they wake up and go to work every day no problem, they're wealthy and if they absolutely had to they could stop.

I guess some people just handle alcohol better than others.


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