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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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Overcoming negativty
    #11157812 -

Even to this day, no matter how hard I try, I get a negative conotation whenever I think about using or just generally think about drugs. I feel that LSD is a dirty thing and the only reason I'm using it is to fill an artificial void left in my heart of which I don't know where it came from. I've used it before, several times as a matter of fact, but none of the experiences were humble in the least bit.

Most of my psychedelic experiences are actually more of a roller coaster ride, and I seem to always be waiting for the end. I have pictures of my family laying around, but I feel the need to put the pictures down if I decide to have a trip as a fear that they would think negatively of me if they saw me from the picture. What my goal is, is to somehow turn all this negativity into some type of humble loving experience. I want to see their pictures and be overtaken by positive emotion that truly backs how much I adore these people, I don't want to be an anxious mess when under the influence, I want to see more then just myself, and hopefully when it's all said and done, be more then just myself.

I've had one trip in my life like I'm describing, where no matter what went wrong, which several things did, I was filled with some kind of cosmic ecstasy the entire time, it happened purely by chance as well. Before the trip started, I was a nervous wreck as usual, I even tried to make myself purge simply to avoid the trip, but it didn't work, and all of a sudden the world brightened up 1000 fold and I had literally the best time of my life. That was once, out of probably 20 trips, the rest of the time I'm hanging on for dear life. How do people "find the love" as I did in my wonderful exception? I know it's possible, I'm just not sure how to get there. I believe this state is recognized as the second bardo in the Psychedelic experience, and I long to learn how to be able to transcend myself into this zone, rather then play superficial games with myself the entire time.


--------------------

koods said:
Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus.
Life-long trip report

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Re: Overcoming negativty [Re: pfxtc]
    #11157911 -

pfxtc said:
the only reason I'm using it is to fill an artificial void left in my heart of which I don't know where it came from.


The emptiness has been there a long long time. Do not be afraid.

Quote:
as a fear that they would think.........

..... I want to see more then just myself, and hopefully when it's all said and done, be more then just myself.


I think this is where you are erring....... You cant ever be more than your self, anything you think IS more than yourself is deceit. And there is nothing to fear, for it has all, already been there before you were afraid of it.



I dont have very much to offer in the way of practical advice.

I know guru bullshit sucks. Sorry.




Practical advice :

Maybe you could put the pics away before a trip, really take care of your setting, with the intent of a "me time" not the intent of a "avoid bad thoughts"

Make the environment all about the things you love.

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Re: Overcoming negativty [Re: Shad0w]
    #11157952 -

Shad0w said:
pfxtc said:
the only reason I'm using it is to fill an artificial void left in my heart of which I don't know where it came from.


The emptiness has been there a long long time. Do not be afraid.

Quote:
as a fear that they would think.........

..... I want to see more then just myself, and hopefully when it's all said and done, be more then just myself.


I think this is where you are erring....... You cant ever be more than your self, anything you think IS more than yourself is deceit. And there is nothing to fear, for it has all, already been there before you were afraid of it.



I dont have very much to offer in the way of practical advice.

I know guru bullshit sucks. Sorry.




Practical advice :

Maybe you could put the pics away before a trip, really take care of your setting, with the intent of a "me time" not the intent of a "avoid bad thoughts"

Make the environment all about the things you love.


Bad thoughts will sprout no matter what I do, I wanna know why and how I can fix it. I want my psychedelics to be more of a spiritual therapy tool then anything else.


--------------------

koods said:
Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus.
Life-long trip report

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Re: Overcoming negativty [Re: Shad0w]
    #11157967 -

Sounds like a case of the "dope guilt" to me...society conditions us to think of drug users as bad or worthless, did you take any DARE classes as a child?

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Re: Overcoming negativty [Re: sinenomine]
    #11157973 -

sinenomine said:
Sounds like a case of the "dope guilt" to me...society conditions us to think of drug users as bad or worthless, did you take any DARE classes as a child?


I graduated DARE :lol:

I'm sure it's a little bit of "dope guilt" - but it's definitely a little bit of something else as well. IDK what though.


--------------------

koods said:
Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus.
Life-long trip report

Edited by pfxtc (09/30/09 03:27 PM)

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Re: Overcoming negativty [Re: pfxtc]
    #11158100 -

The bad thoughts coming up on their own........ is your battle alone...... I could tell you "just think happy thoughts" or "let it float downstream"........ and those can work sometimes............

..... But at the same time, I can see where these are the leaves of a plant that has roots in your personality.... it isnt like you are just buggin' out on some paranoia, they are fairly specific thoughts/feelings.

I -would- recommend taking a decent sized dose by yourself, and just paying attention to everything that comes up.... letting it come into your mind and heart....... and then let it pass..... dont DWELL on it.

After the peak, and the comedown is in effect...... that is where you consider what just happened.

But, I hate to recomend anything like that without being able to keep an eye on you.

Like, what do you think it means that pictures of your family upset you? Why are you so worried about what they think of you? Do you honestly think they would love you LESS if they knew? Is their dissapointment in you any reason that you should consider at all in your actions? Havent you also been dissapointed in them? So, all this being true, WHAT ARE THOSE CHAINS MADE OF?!

You say it is an "artifical" hole, what specifically makes you think it is artificial? In either case, why do you think it needs to be filled at all?

What is it about yourself that you find so..... whats the word.... how about non-desirable?

^ questions like those, I think the answers will help you ^

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Re: Overcoming negativty [Re: Shad0w]
    #11162058 -

Negativity is something pasted on top of the experience. What lies beneath is pure. There is nothing to reach up to in this sense.

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Re: Overcoming negativty [Re: shazzam]
    #11162100 -

Probably feeling negative a large part do to society's programming of people toi think such a way. But also When doing LSD in the past, it always feels much more of an artificial trip, usually not any enlightining experiences are learned, usually more darker vibed, although yes very entertaining , but i sometimes just think of off the wall shit like cartoons from when i was a child flashing thru my head, or just off the wall whacked out shit, like seeing forests that looke like the tress are people twisted around each other, or once in my minds eye the sky had a cartoonish version of the devil in flames holding a pitch fork. But on the other hand with shrooms, It is a totally different trip to me,  I think much less , if at all about weird or crazy shit, and usually focus more on life , nature, self awareness/understanding, and have had several ephinay moments to where i have uderstood things i never could b4. I really feel if you searching for something that you want to take some kinda of learning experince from go with shrooms. Dont get me wrong I like acid, but i dunno this is kinda a phiked up way to put it, but shrooms are kinda like taking a mental trip to a cosmic museum, and acid is more like, going to a circus freak show. Only thing I would say about acid is it seems to almost have the ability to allow you to make mental conmnections with others if your tripping with a group of friends.


--------------------
I post for entertainment purposes only, Nothing I say here is based in reality. After the last time the aliens came they transferred my brain into a glass dome with tentacles and im stationary, but my tentacles work great for typing! So I scan the internet 24/7 while being stuck in my glass jar imagining different things and posting dreams ive had as if they were real. I once drank 10 gallons of lsd and flew to the center of the galaxy where i learned that if i cover myself in dogshit totally I become invisible to the naked eye ! Its pretty cool, ever think you smell dog shit but cant find it anywhere? Then that was prolly me lurking behind you, b4 the damn aliens gave me tentacles and left me trapped in this damn dome!

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Re: Overcoming negativty [Re: pfxtc]
    #11162256 -

your thoughts are articulate
and while the goal (overcoming negativity) is noble
it is actually the anti goal.
think of alice in wonderland to get a better sense of mind.
the looking glass world of opposites applies equally to the  primary directions of mental movement.

so if you move towards, you move away, and vice versa. to overcome is the same as to be overcome by.

so to deal is to undeal, i.e. don't
this is the wisdom of keeping still, the middle way, letting things be, and
in short
of seeing.

it is the lightest touch of all, the least expression of intent or personal will (ego), and the easiest emptiness.

good luck not doing.


--------------------
:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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