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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why?
    #11113642 -

Ever since I started blazing heavily (which I've pretty much stopped because it gave me horrible anxiety) and started tripping (LSD, Shrooms, Mescaline, DMT, Ayahuasca all within the past year and a half) I've felt the need to just spill my mind out to EVERYONE.

It seems like I can no longer have base conversations about pointless bullshit like I did back in high school, its like I'm entirely lost within my own mind and I massively over think/analyze EVERYTHING. My introspection and awareness seems to prevent me from just having a good time and relaxing--it kind of sucks--I've learned (it seems) more than most people will ever even consider but I kind of want to just go back to being ignorant and only caring about stupid shit. Instead, I'm sucked in philosophical, psychological and sociological pondering about every fucking thing I'm doing and it prevents me from doing shit with friends almost.

The way I best can describe it is, everyone I encounter interacts and experiences things on a surface level--I feel like I go 2 miles deep into everything. People exists in a world of images, I look behind every image.


Anyone else like this? Or am I just crazy? I feel I've destroyed my ability to socialize--yet somehow I found a girl this past week...Weird shit.


--------------------
If you're frightened of dying and  you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.

Edited by JackofSpades (09/23/09 04:16 PM)

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: JackofSpades]
    #11113663 -

Everything you're doing is fine.

Questioning reality? Welcome to the world of trippers...

Having conversations with basis in some larger idea is very helpful to the self and inner divinity. I have philosophical convos daily as opposed to "did you see how Becky looked in that dress?!" type of bullshit we had to do in high school.

College is teaching me that I'm very different... we all are. yet we're one.

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: JackofSpades]
    #11113665 -

come to think of it, I think I just never really had any real social skills from growing up in a dysfunctional family and psychedelics probably just exacerbated those differences.

When boils down to it, I am way way way fucking out there. People are sucked inside.

Plato's allegory of the cave. I can talk bullshit, I just hate doing it so I tend to avoid a lot of people.

The thing is I've always been like this, literally. I don't think I'm better than people, I just have a hard fucking time relating to them.


--------------------
If you're frightened of dying and  you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.

Edited by JackofSpades (09/23/09 04:21 PM)

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: JackofSpades]
    #11113682 -

I have little social skills as well.

I noticed this starting psychedelics.

I love the fact that every day I learn something new about my personality I had not known the day previous.

And looking for deeper meaning where there may not be is also something I believe in.

I'm very metaphysical with this world.

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: JackofSpades]
    #11113690 -

do more drugs to equal it out.

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: JackofSpades]
    #11113692 -

the mushrooms are showing you the truth of reality, and it's weird. i am where you are, and it's scary. but it's scary to go down a birth canal or burst out of a cocoon too. we gotta be a little scared of this strange brave new world.


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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: AroundtheSon]
    #11113720 -

AroundtheSon said:
do more drugs to equal it out.


:thumbdown:


give it time man, things will straighten out, trust me.


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[quote]Abuse said:
summerfaggot is one of the biggest cunts on this site.[/quote]

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: MileHiMycophiles]
    #11113723 -

Yeah but I would still like to learn how to comfortable relate to others--its kind of difficult and I've never been good at it.


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If you're frightened of dying and  you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: JackofSpades]
    #11113734 -

then use your introspection to try and think about how that person feels and what they might be thinking about.


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[quote]Abuse said:
summerfaggot is one of the biggest cunts on this site.[/quote]

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: MileHiMycophiles]
    #11113785 -

MileHiMycophiles said:
the mushrooms are showing you the truth of reality, and it's weird. i am where you are, and it's scary. but it's scary to go down a birth canal or burst out of a cocoon too. we gotta be a little scared of this strange brave new world.


Smoking Weed and Tripping have also made me feel like you guys..at first I freaked out thinking i wanted to go back to my simple ignorant life. But I now think of it as a gift and I feel sorrow towards people that don't understand a lot of the things that people who have tripped do. I love walking outside smelling the fresh air in the morning. Looking out at the stars thinking about how amazing just being alive really is, being able to expierence this, even if it is only temporary(my christian belief system was thrown down the drain after tripping, only because people take it too far and why would god send people to hell if they dont believe in jesus yet are kind hearted.)

Although I do get depression pretty severly and anxiety (I think mostly cuz weed). I wish more than anything that I could meet a girl that thinks atleast somewhat like I do. I have started talking to a beautiful girl(from myspace lol) that loves tripping and she is AWESOME and understands me totally..but she lives far away and I hardly know her. Just hoping theres more girls out there like that because it doesnt seem like it :frown:

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: Dudeyourgone]
    #11113838 -

Girls are easy. Your happiness should not be decided by a women. Ya so she's a perfect 10
doesn't mean she's any better than you. Once you break the wall of not talking to girls. It all starts to fall into place. Alcohol taught me that haha.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: Enjoywho]
    #11113874 -

Yeah but where are all the ones that i can relate to? Im not looking for just a fuck.

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: SummerDaisies]
    #11113876 -

In my experience people do not really want to think to deep on any issue. There are a few and those are the people I talk with. I usually bring up a few subjects and can tell almost immediately whether the other person is someone to converse with or not, at least about weird or enlightened things. You could also think of it as you are the farmer planting seeds which you hope will change this place for the  better. Plant seeds of thought and hope that close minded people listen and one day become not so close minded.

It would be nice to tone down our thoughts sometimes, but I have found that I am not one that can do this. I sometimes wish I could, because things would be much simpler and relaxing for me. On the other hand, it is so nice to critically think about our world, its ideals and the general slow brainwashing which surrounds us.

My diagnoses is that you are simply enlightened or becoming so. IMHO, it takes enlightened thinkers to change the world, however, you may need to find ways to simply small talk or shut the thought process off a little. Ride a bike through the woods on a epic trail and push your physical self past artificially created walls. This should help. :smile:

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: raincloud]
    #11113934 -

Yeah I actually play lacrosse in college and practice is starting up soon so that should provide a good break.

and I have to say this girl I met actually gets me and likes me for me. its cool. shes two years older and hot too. im lucky.

I would say just be patient, don't sacrifice yourself for anyone and the right people will fall into your life. I have found that to be EXACTLY my case. be yourself and those who matter will notice and those who don't? don't worry. patience is the ultimate virtue.


--------------------
If you're frightened of dying and  you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: JackofSpades]
    #11113969 -

JackofSpades said:
and I have to say this girl I met actually likes me for me.

.


not because you hang with leonardo?


--------------------
[quote]Abuse said:
summerfaggot is one of the biggest cunts on this site.[/quote]

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: SummerDaisies]
    #11114099 -

what?


--------------------
If you're frightened of dying and  you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth.

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: raincloud]
    #11114301 -

I understand completely how you feel. Once I took my plunge into LSD, I never fully came back to my old ways. I question my reasons for using substances to enhance my mind because I know I am just running through a metaphysical maze. However, I do understand that I have been blessed with an opportunity to see such new angles. I sit and ponder on what I have learned from previous trips, and I mostly obtained empathy. Empathy from the worlds blind struggles. I guess I feel that I have a place of solitude in my mind, a place where I have to die a little to return to, but when I come back to the physical plains I feel abandoned and left with vultures. Every time I am having a full blown trip and reach my peak, I feel like I am being protected in a motherly womb, and I don't want to leave.

What we must remind ourselves is that although we have the burden of truth inside of us, it also lies within all. Most people just turn a blind eye because they don't want to accept that while they are enjoying cheap laughs and living in greed, people remain wishing for the opportunity to have a filling meal or have a desire to smile. This leads down a brutal tunnel of anger towards politics and it makes me sick. I am guilty of wanting to possess greed at times, but after some consideration, I realize that it will lead me to nowhere true. Opening my mind to the universe has allowed me to reach my inner creativity. I haven't released like I wished, but I know it will come out soon..I just gotta be patient. Sometimes I just feel that people don't deserve to hear my thoughts on subjects because it will just get gobbled up and spit out like the hollow words many others regurgitate. Am I trying to comfort myself with words?..or am I trying to comfort others? I think the key is BALANCE. If you can find a way to comfort yourself, you can comfort others around you. I have influenced mind's around me and that's for certain, and for that I am grateful that I stumbled across psychoactive substances. The world would be destroyed by now if our minds didn't hold the balance together. We are true hero's and we also have the opportunity to laugh and cry.

I am getting carried away with my philosophy now, but I hope you get my point. We can carry on and indulge in silly toys and get lost in the world of cravings, and for me I am realizing that it is fine to get lost into material possessions and cheap laughs, as long as you have good intentions. We can't reverse the world, we just need to adjust to it and slowly turn it in a better direction.

I have been completely sober for a bit over a month now and I feel that I can return to cheap laughs more and more, but I will always know that I am here to help others and not destroy this beautiful world. I never will be the same ignorant person I was and I don't want to. I will be happy being a new ignorant person, with a least a hint of my true being. I will return to that womb one day, but I don't think in the near future. I now possess information to go venture off into a higher road.

You and I(as well as everyone here) are still ignorant, remember that! We worn born this way, so don't feel too bad:grin:

Read Siddhartha if you haven't. It gave me great insight, and its a pretty short read.

also, I will end this post with a line I heard from some intelligent musicians..

"Suffer in truth"


--------------------
If there were no rewards to reap,No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,I certainly would've walked away by now.
Gonna wait it out.
If there were no desire to heal The damaged and broken met along
This tedious path I've chosen hereI certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may ... (sigh) ... I still may.Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this.

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: SummerDaisies]
    #11114315 -

SummerDaisies said:
JackofSpades said:
and I have to say this girl I met actually likes me for me.

.


not because you hang with leonardo?


Not because you look like Tyson Bedford?

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: JackofSpades]
    #11128763 -

JackofSpades said:
Yeah but I would still like to learn how to comfortable relate to others--its kind of difficult and I've never been good at it.


i think you have to actually make an effort to care about them for that to work

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Re: Pouring My Mind Out To Everyone...Why? [Re: JackofSpades]
    #11129353 -

JackofSpades said:
Ever since I started blazing heavily (which I've pretty much stopped because it gave me horrible anxiety) and started tripping (LSD, Shrooms, Mescaline, DMT, Ayahuasca all within the past year and a half) I've felt the need to just spill my mind out to EVERYONE.

It seems like I can no longer have base conversations about pointless bullshit like I did back in high school, its like I'm entirely lost within my own mind and I massively over think/analyze EVERYTHING. My introspection and awareness seems to prevent me from just having a good time and relaxing--it kind of sucks--I've learned (it seems) more than most people will ever even consider but I kind of want to just go back to being ignorant and only caring about stupid shit. Instead, I'm sucked in philosophical, psychological and sociological pondering about every fucking thing I'm doing and it prevents me from doing shit with friends almost.

The way I best can describe it is, everyone I encounter interacts and experiences things on a surface level--I feel like I go 2 miles deep into everything. People exists in a world of images, I look behind every image.


Anyone else like this? Or am I just crazy? I feel I've destroyed my ability to socialize--yet somehow I found a girl this past week...Weird shit.



You know i had the exact same reaction after i started doing mushrooms...
i was opened up to this entirely different world and it made me feel immature and naive for being the person that i used to be, a person that cared about material things and, like you said.. could talk about the stupidest shit and enjoy it.
I felt lost and lonely for the first week after i tripped really hard, i felt as if there was nobody on MY LEVEL, that i could talk about life with. I completely understad what you said about over-analyzing and over-thinking every little thing, and i too stopped smoking weed for a while because i felt like my head was going to explode if i kept thinking at the rate i was going, but then one day i got super blazed and had this amazing conversation with my friend about life and all the crazy shit thats always going through my head, and it allowed me to chill the fuck out, i was still very philosophical, but i could laugh and joke without it causing me anxiety.
All in all i completely understand what you are going through.


--------------------

Synchronicity is an ever present reality
for those who have eyes to see.

Meditation is the dissolution of thoughts in Eternal awareness or Pure consciousness
without objectification, knowing without thinking, merging finitude in infinity.

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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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