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Re: My Little Brother [Re: NastyDHL]
    #10792354 -

You make a completely valid point.  The CD I threw out was out of a burst of anger that'd been building for quite some time.  I admit it was pretty harsh to ditch the whole book of discs but I need to show him I'm serious and I won't be fucked with.  I've been biting my tongue for a very long time to keep the tension down and my father sane, but I can't to it anymore.  I need to act like the older brother instead of the passive doorway I have been.

And you're spot on about me feeling like the more responsible older sibling.  When I was his age I was broke as fuck all the time, got high on whatever I could get my hands on, and didn't really have a solid relationship with my dad.  I walked all over my dad for a bit and still feel like shit for it.  The whole time though I had a full time job and paid him rent.  I never had to rely on selling drugs or brining any danger on my household like he is.  I'm tying to lead a healthy lifestyle, move out, get a car, etc  and it just makes the situation that much shittier living right next door to him. 

We all had a talking/shouting match about a half hour ago where we all explained our part and he just ended up sounding like an idiot.

"You guys single me out every time something bad happens because of things I did before."  EXACTLY!!  We're not pre-judging you, we're going from experience.  Just last month he got our back window smashed out because he was fucked up and sideswiped someones car and they came out with a hammer and busted it up.  My DAD's CAR.  And Nicky says it could've happened to any one of us.  Bullshit.  He was doing shady stuff and fucked up.  End of story.  He started crying halfway through and couldn't finish his sentences, which means he KNOWS we're right and he needs to change.  My dad told him to stop dealing until he has a job but we'll see how long he sticks to it.  My dad's kind of wimpy when it comes to punishing his children.  UGH There's still so much more you guys need to know about him to make a valid judgement but I don't have the time or energy to write it out.  It's a loooooong list.

I just wanna get out of here.  I can't live like this.

Edited by Newbie (08/03/09 02:06 PM)

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: Newbie]
    #10792396 -

you should fuck him up real bad just once, and afterwards,tell him its time to change and get his shit together,he might hate you know but he will see the light, and im a little brother my self


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Re: My Little Brother [Re: AcidDropper420]
    #10792423 -

It hasn't escalated to that yet...  It was good to finally have us all in one room getting it all off our chests, and it was good to have my dad back me up for once.  I have a feeling it's all gonna just stay the same but I told him, "I don't want a relationship with you until you grow out of this ghetto phase."  He's all, "Yeah me too, fine, that's cool."

:shrug:

Another snippet from the intervention:


Dad - You need to keep your weed out of my car.  That day I found a dime baggie on the floor, I could've been pulled over and had to try to talk my way out of it!

Nicky- So what?! What's the worst that would happen to you.

Dad-  It doesn't matter, I shouldn't even have to be IN that situation.


I mean come on!  Have some fucking respect for your own dad! 

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: Newbie]
    #10792495 -

Well you are the example setter.  You didn't always appreciate and respect your dad, but now you do it, and still have some resentment towarsd that behavior, judging by the fact that you still feel guilty about it.  Your brother was where you used to be at, and it seems like you just hate him for things you hate about who you used to be.

I think you should just try to accept him for an individual, respect him as an individual, and just show him some love instead of treating him like shit and pushing him farther into feeling like he has to be a tough guy or gangsta to be accepted or respected or admired.  Doing this that would mean you'd have to completely be the bigger man, and move your pettier feelings and grudges out of the way.  I have friends like him who I've drifted apart from, and everytime we chill I realize that underneath the act they are sorely hurting for some affection, although they would never admit that.  They treat their family and friends like shit, but the more they grow up the more they realize that they are treating their loved ones the wrong way.  Just gotta wait for your brother to grow up, and you should try and help him instead of reinforcing the "tough guy, don't need any love, don't give a shit about anyone" thing...

Idk man, tough situation but who knows where it will be in 20 years?  You can help shape it though.  If I was you I'd be less concerned with my and my brothers problems, but by the problems my dad has by harboring two dysfunctional sons, one who is trying hard to do good (you) and the other, who is at this point seems to mostly be a fuck up.

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: NastyDHL]
    #10792605 -

Yeah I hear ya.  The thing is, I've been doing the loving brother thing since he got out of lockup this last time.  My Dad and I took him out to dinner and everything, welcomed him home, then 2 months later it's hardcore drug use again.  Even then I put our differences aside and talked to him man to man about his behavior and even related my own story to him.  Rather than tell him, "You're endangering this house and our stuff by doing what you're doing.  Knock it the fuck off and grow up", I'd say, "That's cool man, just don't bring that shit home, keep your business out THERE."  Gumby can vouch, he saw how unnecessarily and undeservingly friendly I was to him..

I'm done playing the timid sissy role.  He can't be convinced or talked to, he's THAT stubborn.  We lost our mom back in '03 and it really messed him up bad. I dunno if you knew that or not, I don't like to bring it up in every thread about him, I don't like to come off like that..  We've sent him to therapists and whatnot and offered to talk but he just has it in his head that the world owes him a big one and he's destined to live the life of a thug.  I'm not putting anymore effort into building a relationship and getting him out of this hole.  I'm taking on a "see ya on the other side (of his problem, not life lol) attitude.

Thanks for your response, it was very well worded and it helps hearing it from a younger brother.

Edited by Newbie (08/03/09 02:46 PM)

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: Newbie]
    #10792678 -

Newbie said:
I'm done playing the timid sissy role.



good! take the leader role, that means progress, stay mindful that changes in him are the desired consequence, and try to stay rational and logical when pursuing that goal (if that is your goal)


Quote:
Newbie said:
he just has it in his head that the world owes him a big one and he's destined to live the life of a thug.  I'm not putting anymore effort into building a relationship and getting him out of this hole. 



That's a shame, my brother has the same, chip-on-his-shoulder, world owes him one-deal and I think what causes that is lack of acceptance of reality and lack of personal responsibility.


Quote:
Newbie said:
I'm taking on a "see ya on the other side (of his problem, not life lol) attitude.



I have had that attitude with my brother for a while, but its different for us because he does not live with me.  I also take on that attitude with alot of my friends' bullshit, I don't care for that fake shit.



Quote:
Newbie said:
Thanks for your response, it was very well worded and it helps hearing it from a younger brother.


no prob, hopefully it helped give you some perspective, and made ya more conscious of the fact that he's suffering as well

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: NastyDHL]
    #10792849 -

I still say his little brother could use a fierce elbow to the jaw.

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: Gumby]
    #10792938 -

It will come to that if he breaks our silence with some bullshit.  I told my dad my plans to give him a shiner and he said, "Yeah well I CAN'T do shit like that so you know." 

:lol:

I think I have his blessing.

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: Gumby]
    #10792958 -

instead of letting things slide until you get too pissed off and explode you should address every single instance with either words or force or something. that way he knows his boundaries. also, you should follow the same rules that you set for him i.e. respecting property, etc.

just call him out every time he does something, or beat his ass every time he does something and dont be a hypocrite and he may eventually learn.

it's so easy to be caught in a downward spiral of destruction. I remember when i was younger I would throw my brothers controller, he would throw the nintendo. I would kick him off the computer, he would yank out the plug.


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Re: My Little Brother [Re: SampaJasli]
    #10793013 -

Yeah man it's a vicious cycle.  I know I can't win so I'm not even going to try, but you're completely right about calling out every instance.  When I explode out of anger I say and do some fucked up things.

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: biff]
    #10793340 -

you should have beat him to a pulp when he went in your room and used your shit.


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Re: My Little Brother [Re: biff]
    #10793521 -



--------------------
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
    Groucho Marx

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: Lorek]
    #10883688 -

UPDATE


This family is here claiming that Nicky has his Colt Python and won't involve the cops if he gives it back.  We're all waiting in the living room right now for him to return and unleash hell.


Updates as they unfold...

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: Newbie]
    #10883744 -

I'll tell ya, when I was all fucked up and screwing my life to shreds my brother beat the fuck out of me for good reason.

The next night we were drinking beers together working on his truck.

It hurt like hell knowing that I disrespected him so badly and let him (and family) down because I couldn't keep my head on straight. Forget the physical pain (which was a lot) - having my inner being shattered is what hurt the most. And I completely deserved it.

Unfortunately he died a few months later, but those last 6 months of his life were the best six months we ever had together.


My advice: kick his ass. Remind him a few punches in that "these extra are for Dad, asshole". That'll get him. Got me good.

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: Newbie]
    #10883760 -

Newbie said:
UPDATE


This family is here claiming that Nicky has his Colt Python and won't involve the cops if he gives it back.  We're all waiting in the living room right now for him to return and unleash hell.


Updates as they unfold...


He sound EXACTLY like a friend of mines brother. I've been telling that guy to kick his ass for years too.


--------------------
The Prophecy!

Learn To Code

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: blewmeanie]
    #10883861 -

He stole a gun? I have the feeling if he does something stupid which is likely with this guy he'll end up ruining his life...

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: biff]
    #10883881 -

If a family member, especially a younger brother, was like that - I'd beat the shit out of them a long time ago :shrug:


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koods said:
Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus.
Life-long trip report

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: pfxtc]
    #10884010 -

Well he's straight up denying it.

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: Newbie]
    #10884053 -

Newbie said:
Well he's straight up denying it.



hes going to prison

break him by fucking him in the ass now so when he gets there it wont hurt so much


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blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.

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Re: My Little Brother [Re: fee]
    #10884057 -

fee said:
Newbie said:
Well he's straight up denying it.



hes going to prison

break him by fucking him in the ass now so when he gets there it wont hurt so much


shove a cactus up there :shrug:


--------------------

koods said:
Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus.
Life-long trip report

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Shop: Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds   MagicBag.co All-In-One Bags That Don't Suck   Sporeworks.EU Spores for European Microscopy   Mushroom-Hut Grow Bags

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