links to past episodes 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6
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tonight: episode 7
mayim frowns, stares off into the lurid trees. sunlight glints red in her hair. you sit on your hand to keep it off her.
'to get into this dimension,' she says, 'the one we're in now, rick would have to...'
'drop acid?' you say helpfully. 'well he -- '
'drop... what?' blank look. '7-percent? rick is a total anti-psychedelic crusader. he'd never -- '
'yes he would. and he admitted he did,' you tell her. 'when he showed up in the treehouse, he told daphne he found her stash. so yeah... he ate it. unless he somehow turned magic.' the words magic forest echo in your memory: you're not from some magic forest. you used to be like us...
mayim breaks in: 'wow. he actually went there. he must really, really have a giant axe to grind. no one's making him drop it. who cares if a bunch of freaks like to spend their time in a yellow submarine? especially considering the alternative?' she yanks up a purple blade of grass, chews on it thoughtfully.
something doesn't make sense. a lot, actually. you riffle through the grass, pluck your own purple blade, lick it. it doesn't taste like grapes.
'i miss grapes,' you say, offhand. shorthand. underhand. understatement! you miss... grapes the least of a lot of things, some you don't even remember. you feel empty, far away, weightless almost; unreal.
'we might have some in the kitchen,' says mayim. 'hey, what's the matter?'
'maybe i'm not... real after all.' your throat constricts. your tongue feels like lead in your mouth, and the colours of the forest swim. you blink. wet.
mayim puts her hand out. touches your face. licks her fingertip with a wicked little smile, then becomes abruptly serious.
she leans over, flips your hood back. surprised, you shake your hair out of your eyes. and there she is, kissing you.
you remember how. obviously, that skill has a permanent place in the survival-instinct kit no matter what Odd-damn dimension you're in. you cup the back of her neck, her clumped hair fuzzy and sun-baked, and press yourself up towards her. her lips are just as warm as her smile implies. you're both kneeling now, arms wrapped around one another, the sun and the too-bright spectra boiling in the trees and a sharp sweet rush of happiness blinding you.
she pulls away still holding your hands. 'you seem pretty real to me.' her eyes dart behind you. you twist, follow her gaze. oh. the house... you half-expect to see crane flying off the porch, shotgun in hand.
'are we in trouble now?' you ask.
'nnnnnnnnot really.' mayim stands up, brushing electric blue leaves off her leggings. shivering, you get up too. 'i mean, crane says we're all free; if you're already digging someone, might as well follow the energy... you know, william blake, better to, uh, bust a move than nurse unacted desires, that whole trip. that's why fez is full of shit about crane and me.' she sighs. 'oh, whatever, maybe he's right and i am just a slut. but then -- '
'whatever you are, i liked it,' you say. 'wouldn't have minded more, even.'
mayim breathes a laugh. 'you are definitely real.'
'ok, but i'm not proving it to everybody else that way.'
'hee hee. course not. look at you, covered in leaves, you look like a big day-glo parrot.' she brushes you down.
'mayim!' you feel your face redden. 'i'm getting, um, realer by the minute. either cut that out, or kiss me some more.'
she stops, grins at you. 'oh, but that would be extreeeemely slutty of me, don't you know?'
'sluts,' you tell her, 'are awesome. i bet fez is just pissed off because nobody wants to do that with him.' she giggles. 'come to think of it, probably rick too...' instantly you deflate.
'oooh.' mayim reads your face. 'not a big rick fan, eh?'
'well, it's mutual.' you kick at a magenta pillow of moss. 'he's my sworn enemy at this point. he tried to trick me into staying in the other dimension. the one with the smelly fish and the bugs. do you guys really have to live there when the molecule paper runs out?'
'no. nobody lives there. it's abandoned. we all came together from different places.'
'different dimensions? how many -- '
'no, just that one. the world is kind of big, remember?' mayim laughs. 'when we first gathered to eat molecule paper together we did a lot of wandering around in this dimension, the one we're in now. eventually we found this place -- the house and all. and when the molecule paper wore off it, i guess, dropped us off in the abandoned house. we didn't want anyone else knowing about it or hanging out here, so we left it that way.'
'yeah, it's pretty disgusting,' you say. 'so your whole dimension isn't that bad... is it?'
'no, but it's nothing like this. nothing to write home about.'
that funny weightless feeling again like there's no ground beneath you. 'i have no idea what home is,' you blurt, looking at your feet, then up past mayim.
she eyes you quizzically. 'you're from here, aren't you? you're the only one that doesn't need molecule paper to stay.' you shake your head, a rush of the old shyness overwhelming you. 'no? where are you from then? how did you get here?'
'i don't remember...' you say to your hands. damn, damn... you can't even find your own way home, you freak. thanks, rick.
you wish you'd been one of the robbers all along, boring dimension or not, and had someone to talk with, someone else to help remember the way. i really am One. just One.
mayim puts a gentle hand on your shoulder. 'it's ok. whatever it is.'
maybe now i can be more than One, you realise. i hope i can trust her not to run away.
you sigh, look resolutely at mayim. 'rick said i was schizophrenic.'
+
/tune in turn on etc. next week.
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Monday Night Weirdness! Episode 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom."
- William Blake, Proverbs of Hell from The Marriage of Heaven and Hell.
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