I posted here a few months ago, saying that me and my girl of 5 years had split.
2 1/2 months down the track, my feelings have not changed. We still see each other once every week or two. The odd thing is, we have fun when we do. I look forward to seeing her, and being with her feels no different than when we were together. In fact, she usually SMS's me afterward saying how good it was too see me. And we have even agreed if we had met 5 years later, things would have been much different.
Now, a few things need to be noted. We broke up for a few reasons. The first is our age, she was only 16 when we started dating, me being 18. It was her first serious relationship, and like most first timers, she gave up allot for me, although I always encouraged her to pursue 'her' goals she neglected them allot and has only just realized this.
Another reason is my career and goals. I told her from the start that I'm a musician and will travel allot. It has finally come time, and in 2 months I leave home for up to a year. And I think it had dawned upon her that she will be alone, and she didn't have anything else besides me.
But I'm very confused. Every other break-up has had reasons. Something that I can state to be the reason it ended. But with my now ex, this isn't so. It feels like we are trying to stay apart, not that we want to be apart. I know that things can't re-kindle right now, as we still need to achieve our separate lives. But I feel that I may have let the best thing in my life slide away. I don't even like the idea of marriage, but I have lived the day I ask her to marry me over and over in my mind. I know people say 'it gets easier,' but what happens when it doesn't? What happens when every day you still think of that person? What happens when no one else will compare?
I know if I let go of her, I will be forever cold. Contrary to who I am, I'd become some kind of masculine sleaze bag, scared of commitment and alone for the rest of my life.
To those married/in a longer relationship....How do you ever know if you have found 'the' one?
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