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Shop: North Spore Cultivation Supplies   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Re: Wow - these people are retarded [Re: igwna]
    #9841103 -

Some guy I know told a girl he was teaching how to drive that you dont have to stop at stop signs with white around em' so she calls him days later crying only to tell him she failed her driving test.


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http://bunkpolice.com/basic-test-kit/
Vienna Declaration
Salvia Divinorum The Docudrahma

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Re: Wow - these people are retarded [Re: Konyap]
    #9842009 -

:lol: thats funny as hell. How do you get away with that one? "yeah. they say stop, but they dont really mean it. its optional."

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Re: Wow - these people are retarded [Re: igwna]
    #9842025 -

:rofl:


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Re: Wow - these people are retarded [Re: thirdtragedy]
    #9842047 -

This seems like that case every time I go into a fast food joint, I remember just recently this chick fucked up my order, then proceeded to swipe my card with the magnetic strip facing out, after several tries I finally told her that she should turn the card around...wtf :foreheadslap:

Now that I'm searching for a part time job, I seriously wonder why it's so hard to get into these places, especially knowing that I could ace any one of those fucking jobs without even waking up.


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Re: Wow - these people are retarded [Re: Platinum]
    #9842056 -

This isn't AS stupid, because I understand that technology scares the shit out of people, but this happened to me today:

A lady brings me a Geek Squad brand 2GB flash drive and asks me to price check it.  I do so and she says, "Is this on sale?"  It was $12, and I don't read the circulars that we put out so I just said, "I'm not sure but $12 isn't a bad price for a 2GB flash drive." 

She goes, "Oh, well Costco has it for $5".  (okay so go to fucking costco, don't tell ME, I don't care)

I say, "Okay."

Then she asks me, "What carrier is this?"

"Huh?"

"I mean what company do you get the internet from with this, Verizon, Sprint, AT&T?"

"Ma'am this is a flash drive, used to transfer files from computer to computer.  It's not an air card.  You cannot get the internet from this device."

I spent the next 20 minutes explaining the difference between a flash drive and an air card.  I swear to fuck some people are not meant to own computers.

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Re: Wow - these people are retarded [Re: Newbie]
    #9842319 -

:lol:

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Re: Wow - these people are retarded *DELETED* [Re: unretarded]
    #9842348 -

Post deleted by pB0t

Reason for deletion: .


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Re: Wow - these people are retarded [Re: pB0t]
    #9843642 -

haha that is funny. i work in retail so my favorite is when someone walks up to me and says "how much is this? can you check the price" i always smile look at the price tag and say "this is _____" (whatever the tag says) . it's like come on if you can read your text messages you can read the god damn price tag. 

or when people try to barter with me. sorry i can't just knock $20 off for you.... i mean I can but it's not worth losing my job over.


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Re: Wow - these people are retarded [Re: thirdtragedy]
    #9843666 -

hahaha and when i went to mcdonalds a few months ago. i ordered an egg mc muffin with NO MEAT. and she couldn't believe i didn't want any meat on it. i had to explain in so many different ways. no meat. no bacon. no ham. just egg and cheese and bread. everything but the meat...still wasn't getting it. when i pull up to the window she is like
"No meat!? No bacon no ham no NOTHING!??!" it's like god forbid I want to pay the same price and get less...isn't it better for them anyways? It isn't really extra work it is one less step in the process anyways....hmmmm well i took the meat off myself cause they still couldn't figure it out.


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Re: Wow - these people are retarded [Re: thirdtragedy]
    #9843687 -

Sometimes, when I worked at McDonalds, I'd act really dumb to some customers.

The regular customers who knew me (through my job) found it hilarious when they saw it happen.

Helped me get through the days :shrug:


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Re: Wow - these people are retarded [Re: igwna]
    #9848997 -

Found some new ones!!! Though at least 1 of them is a duplicate.

EIGHTH PLACE

In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned
in two feet of water after squeezing head first
through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his
car keys.


SEVENTH PLACE

A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who
"totally zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off
a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run.


SIXTH PLACE

Buxton , NC : A man died on a beach when an
8-foot-deep hole he had dug into the sand caved in
as he sat inside it. Beach-goers said Daniel Jones,
21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the
wind, and had been sitting in a beach chair at the
bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed, burying
him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on
the outer banks, used their hands and shovels,
trying to claw their way to Jones, a resident of
Woodbridge , VA , but could not reach him. It took
rescue workers using heavy equipment almost an hour
to free him while about 200 people looked on. Jones
was pronounced dead at a hospital.


FIFTH PLACE

Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc , as he
fell face-first through the ceiling of a bicycle
shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the
long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep
his hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as
he hit the floor.


FOURTH PLACE

Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in
Selbyville , Del , as he won a bet with friends who
said he would not put a revolver loaded with four
bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.




THIRD PLACE THIS ONE SHOULD HAVE BEEN FIRST PLACE

The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree
in Washington , DC appeared to be the robber's first
(and last), due to his lack of a previous record of
violence, and his terminally stupid choices:

1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms; A gun shop
specializing in handguns.
2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.
3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around
a marked police patrol car parked at the front door.
4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter,
having coffee before work. Upon seeing the officer,
the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a
few wild shots from a target pistol.
The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the
police officer with a 9mm GLOCK 17, the clerk with a
50 DESERT EAGLE, assisted by several customers who
also drew their guns, several of whom also drew and
fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene
by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47
expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent
autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics
identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one
else was hurt in the exchange of fire.


HONORABLE MENTION

Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover
township, NJ, and his wife Bonnie was also injured,
when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in their
car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple
lit the dynamite and tried to toss it out the window
to see what would happen, but apparently failed to
notice the window was closed.

RUNNER UP:

TACOMA , WA . Kerry Bingham had been drinking with
several friends when one of them said they knew a
person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma Narrows
Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation
grew more heated and at least 10 men trooped along
the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 AM Upon arrival
at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that
no one had brought a bungee rope.

Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and
pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay near
by. One end of the cable was secured around
Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the
bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable
tightened and tore his foot off at the ankle. He
miraculously survived his fall into the icy salt
water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen.

"All I can say" said Bingham, "is that God was watching
out for me on that night. There's just no other
explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never
located.


AND THE WINNER...

Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt
( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his constipated elephant
Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the
plugged- up pachyderm finally let it fly, and
suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was
attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil
enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him. "The
sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation
knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground where he struck
his head on a roc k and lay unconscious as the
elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of
him" said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective
Erik Dern. With no one there to help him, he lay
under all that dung for at least an hour before a
watchman came along, and during that time he
suffocated. It seems to be just one of those freak
accidents that proves... "S __ t happens."

http://my.opera.com/devans186/blog/2007/08/25/you-cant-fix-stupid

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Re: Wow - these people are retarded [Re: Platinum]
    #9849020 -

You would probably like this site also.

http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/


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1) Cars can hurt you.
2) You cannot fly.
3) It's never a good time to die.
4) Taking your clothes off will draw attention.
5) Keep your mouth shut at all times while in public.
6) Although you may see things that are not there, you won't NOT see things that are there.
7) Don't forget how to breathe.
8) Only carry: a house-key, some loose change, and your address in your shoe.
9) Nobody can tell that you are tripping until you tell them "I'm tripping".
10) No matter how fucked-up you think you are, you'll eventually come down.

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Re: Wow - these people are retarded [Re: igwna]
    #9849309 -

these are all fabrications. They're just jokes made up for those stupid mass emails you get from your mother in law.


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While there is a lower class, I am in it
While there is a criminal element, I am of it
While there is a soul in prison, I am not free.

Eugene V Debs

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Shop: North Spore Cultivation Supplies   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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