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Shop: Original Sensible Seeds Feminized Cannabis Seeds   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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i won!, now featuring the build-a-story thread
    #8708292 -

a 100 word challenge on this writing website.
There's some really good writers on there and i usually cant compete, so i was pretty surprised.
i wanna know what yall think tho.

the topic was: Inspiration

Into the darkness I have placed a light
Out of the flame I have forged new sight
Through this vision I have kindled creation
A model for action in a world of cessation

Out of the darkness I have kindled a mind
The thinking man's jewel in a life unrefined
Out of the rubble this diamond breaks free
And penetrates the thoughts of the millions that see

Throughout the darkness new flames will erupt
If the answer’s not hope then the question's corrupt
Walk with me now, tear down this door
I will not rest ‘til there’s darkness no more


--------------------
There's just one small problem...


...and it's a big one!

Edited by AtticusProphet (07/31/08 08:42 PM)

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Re: i won! [Re: AtticusProphet]
    #8708302 -

I like it :smile: You're a very good writer


--------------------
I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love. of truth. of light, and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me. We are one.

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Re: i won! [Re: HappyTrippin]
    #8708332 -

Thats really good, I like it alot.  It really has good flow to it as well.  I'm in the process of writing my first book right now, so its kind of inspirational in its own right to see another talented shroomerite win a writing contest.


--------------------
So good to see you, I've missed you so much.


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Re: i won! [Re: AtticusProphet]
    #8708339 -

Wow, I love it. Great job on that, dude. :thumbup:

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Re: i won! [Re: Cameron]
    #8708392 -

thnx guys

wow coked i couldnt even imagine writing a book. congrats!


--------------------
There's just one small problem...


...and it's a big one!

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Re: i won! [Re: CokedUpHobit64]
    #8708418 -

Yeah, Coked, which genres does your writing cover?
Have you ever posted snippets on the MA&L board?

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Re: i won! [Re: Cameron]
    #8708430 -

Is there a thread at all where 1 person writes a paragraph of a story, and then anotehr person takes the next paragraph and so on at all? Or something similar? That would be fun to do.


--------------------
I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love. of truth. of light, and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me. We are one.

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Re: i won! [Re: HappyTrippin]
    #8708465 -

We could start one right now. Not to de-rail this thread or anything, but:

Jeb donned his dusty-brown leather hat and swung his jacket over his shoulders as he stepped towards his front door. The steady patter of heavy rain droplets outside flooded his eardrums as the door creaked open on rusty hinges and Jeb started towards his driveway...

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Re: i won! [Re: AtticusProphet]
    #8708519 -

i like it.


--------------------
What Would Dexter Do?

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Re: i won! [Re: Cameron]
    #8708627 -

The book I'm righting right now could be labeled as science fiction/psychological thriller, with the main theme being the conflict between spiritualism and materialism.  I will definitely check out those boards though I could use some practice and opinions.


--------------------
So good to see you, I've missed you so much.


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Re: i won! [Re: Cameron]
    #8708634 -

Quote:
Jeb donned his dusty-brown leather hat and swung his jacket over his shoulders as he stepped towards his front door. The steady patter of heavy rain droplets outside flooded his eardrums as the door creaked open on rusty hinges and Jeb started towards his driveway...


...as he stooped to unlock the door, his ears registered the *click* of a hammer going back on a pistol. He froze as he felt cold steel pressed to the back of his head, and was surprised to hear a female voice say "Good evening, Mr. Thomas. Guess who?"...


--------------------
"Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping.

deCypher said:
Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.

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Re: i won! [Re: CokedUpHobit64]
    #8708682 -

CokedUpHobit64 said:
The book I'm righting right now could be labeled as science fiction/psychological thriller, with the main theme being the conflict between spiritualism and materialism.  I will definitely check out those boards though I could use some practice and opinions.


Yeah, man, I'd love to give a chapter or two a go. I'll read just about anything, barring any mention of the topics of romance, new age, and religion (unless it's in a cynical light :shineon:).

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Re: i won! [Re: Ima Trooper]
    #8708716 -

Ima Trooper said:
Quote:
Jeb donned his dusty-brown leather hat and swung his jacket over his shoulders as he stepped towards his front door. The steady patter of heavy rain droplets outside flooded his eardrums as the door creaked open on rusty hinges and Jeb started towards his driveway...


...as he stooped to unlock the door, his ears registered the *click* of a hammer going back on a pistol. He froze as he felt cold steel pressed to the back of his head, and was surprised to hear a female voice say "Good evening, Mr. Thomas. Guess who?"...


Slowly turning his head, Jeb turned to face his assailant, all the while the gun pointed at his head.  It was hard to make out the face in the darkness of the storm, but it eventually occurred to him that this was the person he had seen in the pictures so many times.  He now felt regret at disregarding all the warnings he had received up until this point.  "What do you want from me?", Jeb managed to spit out.  The woman casually  motioned with her hand as two men came out of the shadow and took Jeb by the arms, " What do you say we get out of this rain?", she replied.


--------------------
So good to see you, I've missed you so much.


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Re: i won! [Re: CokedUpHobit64]
    #8708992 -

Jeb lay in a daze, his arms and legs bound with thick rope, his mouth chock full of cloth which prevented him from crying for help. He opened his eyes cautiously, enough to make out a thin ray of light shining through a crack in the trunk door opposite him. The car hit a bump and Jeb was catapulted into the thick sheet of metal which encapsulated him in this silent prison, then back down to the filthy carpet lining the floor.
Without warning, the car screeched to a halt. Jeb sat motionless as several voices exchanged what sounded like heated words in the front of the vehicle. A gunshot reverberated through the small compartment, followed by a muffled scream and the click of a door. Heavy footsteps circled the car, and Jeb began to shake as the trunk swung open...

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Re: i won! [Re: Cameron]
    #8709146 -

An arm reached in and roughly yanked him out of the trunk. "Get the fuck out! We don't have much time!" The woman screamed. Jeb stumbled upright and was pushed towards the passenger side of a silver Jaguar. Looking around, he sees the body of one of the men lying on the ground, the woman bent over him, quickly going through his pockets. She turned to him. "Get in the car, quickly! If you want to live, you will have to trust me!"


--------------------
"Its moving of its own accord...and I like that in a shirt!" - Me, tripping.

deCypher said:
Schizophrenia beats dining alone, you know.

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Re: i won! [Re: Ima Trooper]
    #8709314 -

Not knowing whether to run in the opposite direction or follow the orders of the woman, Jeb stood there with his eyes darting between her and the man that she had just shot.  The surrounding area looked like a local dumping ground, littered with tires and an assortment of other junk.  Before he could make his decision a shot rang out from behind an old rusted refrigerator leaning on its side.  The mysterious woman once again produced a pistol and began blindly firing off rounds as she ran for the jaguar yelling "Get in the car now!".  However, Jeb needed no more prodding to get into the car,quickly entering the passengers side.  The engine came to life as bullets bounced off the hood of the car, creating little yellow sparks each time one hit.  "Why the hell is he trying to kill us?", Jeb managed to screech out, perhaps an octave higher than usual.  A torrent of mud and water splashed out from behind the wheels of the jaguar as the woman pounded the gas.  "I'll explain on the way", she replied.


--------------------
So good to see you, I've missed you so much.


Edited by CokedUpHobit64 (07/31/08 08:24 PM)

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Re: i won! [Re: CokedUpHobit64]
    #8709342 -

Quote:
An arm reached in and roughly yanked him out of the trunk. "Get the fuck out! We don't have much time!" The woman screamed. Jeb stumbled upright and was pushed towards the passenger side of a silver Jaguar. Looking around, he sees the body of one of the men lying on the ground, the woman bent over him, quickly going through his pockets. She turned to him. "Get in the car, quickly! If you want to live, you will have to trust me!"


"MMMnhhmnnmm!"
The woman reached over and ripped the oily rag from Jeb's mouth. Hard. He tasted blood.
"Why the fuck should I trust you!" Jeb yelled. His mind was shooting off a million thoughts at once. It was all happening so fast. The woman regarded him coldly.
"I guess I don't really have an answer to that," she said. There was a flash of reflected moonlight and suddenly a gun was inches from his temple.
"So you're gonna have to trust this instead. Now get the fuck in the car."


--------------------
There's just one small problem...


...and it's a big one!

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Re: i won! [Re: AtticusProphet]
    #8709344 -

o fuck too late


--------------------
There's just one small problem...


...and it's a big one!

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: i won! [Re: AtticusProphet]
    #8709349 -

Glad I finally had an idea that people liked :o


--------------------
I honor the place in you in which the entire universe dwells. I honor the place in you which is of love. of truth. of light, and of peace. When you are in that place in you and I am in that place in me. We are one.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: i won! [Re: Ima Trooper]
    #8709350 -

"Tell me again why I've got to be blindfolded."
The woman threw Jeb a nasty sneer as she piloted the car through heavy traffic. "For the last time," she said, "shut your pie-hole. This is for your own good."
Jeb felt the vehicle lurch to a stop a short while later. The woman began to untie the cloth bound about his head, pausing before she unveiled their destination.
"You've got to promise me one thing before I let you have a peek," she said.
"What is it?" Jeb stammered.
"Just promise me you won't scream."
He nodded apprehensively and fought to quell the lump rising in his throat. The woman reached for the knot and pulled it lightly, flooding Jeb's pupils with white light as the cloth drifted lazily to the floor. He squinted as his retina adjusted to the intense imagery and familiar shapes began to assemble before his eyes. The car was parked in front of a squat grey building--the sign read 'Dr. Jill P. Fernigan - Dentist'.

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