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OfflineFraggin
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Grandma's Birthday. Need Advice.
    #7546505 - 10/22/07 11:42 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

My granny's birthday is coming up and she will be 73.
She lives in the nursing home because of a series of unfortunate circumstances.

She had cancer about 5 years ago, and had several rounds of chemo for it. It was in remission for about a year, and came back and she had a 2nd go with it, but during this period, she broke her left arm at the elbow.

Well, supposedly, the chemo weakend her bones and the break will not heal. It has been like this for several years. Due to her being weak, old w/ Arthritis and now having a broken arm, her kids put her in a nursing home.

Well, the next unfortunate thing is that she complained of her arm so much, that the staff began giving her morphine. After she was taken for a checkup, her doctor realized that her arm had healed over time, and that she should not be in any pain except for the pains of arthritis.

He concluded that she is addicted to morphine now. She has had daily doses for a couple of years, and though the doc was pissed about it, he said it would be more dangerous to try to get her off of it because when they tried, the old battle axe woul get out of bed and walk down the halls with her walker trying to find the medicine nurse.

Anyway, the poor old lady has a sound mind and a memory like an elephant. She reads pretty much all day everyday (and I would too if I had an unlimited morphine supply). She can still chat about current events, politics, political conspiracies and local gossip.

So, her birthday is coming up and I want to get her something that will help her get the most out of her new opiated lifestyle. (something other thant he mundane picture frame or fuzzy slippers) Her room is kind of small, so it would have to be size considerable.
Thanks


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OfflineJadian
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Registered: 07/07/05
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Re: Grandma's Birthday. Need Advice. [Re: Fraggin]
    #7546539 - 10/22/07 11:50 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Give her a few joints. I know there's nothing I want more than a joint when I'm on a bunch of morphine.


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InvisibleBIGSWANG
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Re: Grandma's Birthday. Need Advice. [Re: Jadian]
    #7546547 - 10/22/07 11:51 AM (16 years, 3 months ago)

get her a pair of slippers and a dildo....

if she doesnt like the slippers she can go fuck herself :rimshot:


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Admin Edit: Your signiture is inappropriate and has been removed.  Do not harass other members in your signiture.  Also refrain from posting links to scat pornography.  If I see anything like that here again, you will be banned.


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Invisiblezorbman
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Registered: 06/04/04
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Re: Grandma's Birthday. Need Advice. [Re: Fraggin]
    #7546596 - 10/22/07 12:03 PM (16 years, 3 months ago)

Magazine subscription, books or a gift card for books? Those are some obvious choices. Does she have a tv and dvd player? Older people sometimes miss the old timey shows they used to watch but no longer are shown on tv. Shows like the Honeymooners, Jack Benny, etc would be from her era. You can pick her brain for what she enjoyed without being obvious.


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“The crisis takes a much longer time coming than you think, and then it happens much faster than you would have thought.”  -- Rudiger Dornbusch


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