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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Anonymous #1

What are your opinions on marriage?
    #7455178 - 09/26/07 12:31 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

I can't help but have an overwhelmingly negative view of it. My parents got divorced and most of my relatives have as well.

My arguments against marriage:

1. A piece of paper between people means nothing and contributes nothing to a relationship. Emotions and dedication transcend a worthless piece of paper.

2. Half of all marriages end in divorce. And, think of the other half. How many are unhappy? How many are just staying together because of the kids, money concerns, or because they are scared to break out? I surmise that only %25 of marriages actually are happy and long-lasting.

3. If you break up then the court takes a bunch of your money and gives it to the woman. No thanks.

4. Marriage makes breaking up more difficult. If you are not legally bound together then you can just take your stuff and take off. If you are married then there's all kinds of bullshit that comes along with the breakup.

But, I still find myself thinking about marriage a lot because I get the impression that my mom wants me to "settle down" and I am getting older. Are people "supposed" to get married or something? I feel really conflicted.


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Anonymous #2

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7455191 - 09/26/07 12:33 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

If you're not liking mariage because people around you have had bad relationships doesnt mean yours will end up in failure.

BUT dont feel rushed into something that you don't feel strongly about.

take things slow, if you really are
Quote:

in love


with someone, eventually you will take steps to seal it, wether it be mariage, chocolate cake, sex, or just plain their company.


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Anonymous #3

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #7455211 - 09/26/07 12:38 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

People get married cause they don't know what to do next. I think I would eventually get married, not because of the expectation, but because of the posthumous symbolism. But it would be a long long time with a woman before it happened.

Ultimately, you're correct, marriage is nothing more than a piece of paper that allows for divorce settlements. I never needed a piece of paper to tell me how I feel.


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Anonymous #1

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #7455217 - 09/26/07 12:40 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
People get married cause they don't know what to do next.




EXACTLY. That's the impression I get too. It's like people who don't know what to do and can't come up with anything to do just say "let's get married and reproduce".


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Anonymous #2

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7455225 - 09/26/07 12:41 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Some people do it for reasons of unchangeable consequences, babies.
Some people do it for reasons of unchangeable love too.


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Anonymous #4

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #7455241 - 09/26/07 12:44 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

I don't get married. I just fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck.


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Anonymous #5

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7455412 - 09/26/07 01:38 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

2. Half of all marriages end in divorce. And, think of the other half. How many are unhappy? How many are just staying together because of the kids, money concerns, or because they are scared to break out? I surmise that only %25 of marriages actually are happy and long-lasting.




I'd say 25% is a pretty good record, considering that 95% of people are hopeless malcontents who never learned how to be happy no matter who or what is in their life.


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Anonymous #6

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #7455545 - 09/26/07 02:12 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

don't do it. marriage is a bad idea.

just get a vasectomy and fuck a bunch of sluts.


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Anonymous #7

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #7455684 - 09/26/07 03:02 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

I am going to get married for four reasons, in this order.

So when the girl I am with decides she doesn't love me, she can't just pick up and leave (again).

To satisfy the parents.

So I can get a resident permit.

And when people question the relationship, I can prove that it is serious.

Other than that, marriage isn't necessary for the relationship.


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Anonymous #8

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #7455707 - 09/26/07 03:10 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Marriage sucks.


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Anonymous #5

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7456125 - 09/26/07 05:26 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

I'm gonna get married so I have a wife to cheat on with Jack's girlfriend


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Anonymous #9

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7457077 - 09/26/07 09:04 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

it's a bunch of bullshit

if you love someone then there is no reason to not stay together


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Anonymous #10

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #7457094 - 09/26/07 09:08 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

And what does staying together have to do with marriage?


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Anonymous #11

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #7458828 - 09/27/07 06:58 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Marriage was originally a form of property ownership. Hardly romantic. And if I ever have a partner that wants a piece of paper to make the relationship more sincere, then I clearly overestimated that person. Surely two people's love for each other is the only bond they need?


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Anonymous #12

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #7458867 - 09/27/07 07:22 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

marriage is a long and expensive way of breaking up with someone


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Anonymous #13

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #7459661 - 09/27/07 12:23 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

50% of marriages end in divorce.
The other 50% are swingers...


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Anonymous #5

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #7459773 - 09/27/07 12:55 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Marriage was originally a form of property ownership. Hardly romantic. And if I ever have a partner that wants a piece of paper to make the relationship more sincere, then I clearly overestimated that person. Surely two people's love for each other is the only bond they need?




Women want the storybook wedding and the ring and marriage and to be able to refer to her man as her husband. What's wrong with fulfilling those dreams for the woman you love, no matter what you think about the institution of marriage?


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Anonymous #6

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #7459943 - 09/27/07 01:34 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

because when she snaps out of her delusion and realizes it was a mistake to get married, you lose half your shit.


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Anonymous #5

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #7460399 - 09/27/07 03:43 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Not if you take action  :butcher:


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Anonymous #14

Re: What are your opinions on marriage? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #7461460 - 09/27/07 08:21 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

This just became a very prudent discussion in my house this past weekend.

My girlfriend and I have dated for 6 year and bought this house together. She's never pushed me for marriage, so I was content to let it go on as it had. We had talked about it on occasion, but it was brief and I usually voiced my distrust of it seeing how most people I know that have been married were divorced. But we had to go to a stupid couples baby shower on Saturday and she had to hear a bunch of people asking her why we aren't married yet.

Well, we went out and got really drunk then came home when this all blew up. She wanted answers and said that she does want to be married. So I was truthful. For future reference truth is a bad idea. Well, at least one of my truths was.

I explained that I had 2 main reservations about being married. The first was finance. I'm not making near the money that I used to and even paying bills has become a struggle. I couldn't buy a ring right now for anything. I know in the grand scheme of things this isn't important if you really love someone (and she said as much), but I have always equated being a husband and financial independence. I want to have kids and that isn't an option without disposable income. I can see how it may be a bit of an excuse, but it's been a consistent thought in my head since long before I met her.

The second is what got me into trouble. Since we first started dating, I've always told her that one of my biggest fantasies was to be with 2 chicks at the same time, al a the menage a tois. She has expressed that she likes other girls and would like to do it if it "came up." I guess that's the kicker. She loves going to topless bars and making out with chicks, but it's never gone further than that. Several opportunities arose from those outings, but she was reluctant (and I understood this) because they were strippers. This fantasy also makes up for a huge amount of her dirty talk when we we're having sex as she describes what the situation would be like. The main point of contention was what my limits would be with the other chick. Honestly, I was fine with that too, the main turn on for me would be seeing her with the other girl.

I've never tried to force the question or situation, always taking a stance that yes it would be great but I won't push you. Well, I've started to realize that maybe she just enjoys the fantasy part and is afraid to act on it. I think she's just scared of what it might do to the dynamic of our relationship. I think it's a valid concern, but I want this bad enough that I'm willing to risk it.

I explained that my fear is that I would never get to experience that once married, because I am a committed person and would never cheat on her (even more so once married). Well she blew up and wanted to leave right then. I was confused as to why she was so mad about this. She just kept saying she didn't know how important that was to me and that we should break up and so forth.

We finally resolved to finish discussing it the next day and then make a decision. That next day we talked about it came out that she understood me to be giving her the ultimatum that she either do it or I wouldn't marry her, which was never my intention. I just explained that I was worried I'd be missing out on something I had wanted for so long and that it was simply a concern that I had to deal with but not necessarily a deal-breaker. In fact I explained that the prior evening but she didn't hear it.

Things are still somewhat tense, and I'm trying to figure out what I want to do. I actually wouldn't mind being a swinger, and she has even acted interested in before, but then turns around and says she'd never do it. I just feel like I want to sleep with more girls. On the other hand, she's perfect in every other respect and I couldn't imagine a better wife or mother for my children than her.

It seems silly to even debate it with myself, and I know I should just dismiss the notion of wild group sex but I don't want to let it go.

Tell me if I'm wrong for thinking this...


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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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