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citizen's arrest
    #6403959 -

a little over a week ago i posted about how our apartment was broken in to. well it turns out the set of keys they stole have been used at least 3 times to steal our mail. we have had 2 netflix dvd's stolen and christmas letters.

Now i know that mail fraud is a federal offense, so is this considered a felony? In my state I believe citizen's arrests are allowed only if you witness a felony. Tomorrow a friend of mine and my two roommates are going to stake out the mail box with a telescope and have another nearby with a camera. If all goes well we will have a picture of this guy opening our mailbox with the stolen keys; we're planning on grabbing him and restraining him until the cops arrive which so far as I have read can be risky.

The cops we've dealt with couldn't give two shits about our stolen goods. This is kind of our last chance at getting this guy busted.

what do you guys think? there's going to be 4 of us there. this guy has never seen us before. we could just beat the shit out of him instead and not call the cops. or we could play nice and hold him down till they get there....

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: fearfect]
    #6403968 -

the odds of this guy stealing our mail again i'd wager is pretty good. he is a fucking idiot. for example, after stealing 'gattica' and the new superman movie he opened the third, a discovery channel documentary on dolphins, looked at it, placed it back into the packaging and put it back in the mail box. we have a perfect set of prints off of them. not to mention the two perfect hand prints the detective got off of my window the day of the robbery.

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: fearfect]
    #6404299 -

Sneak up on him and beat the shit out of him. Then get your keys back.

The beauty of this plan is its simplicity.

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: koraks]
    #6404317 -

Beat him like he stole a mutha fuckin package, yo.

When you've got him on the ground and you're sitting on his chest to restrain him, start smacking him silly with the dolphin DVD.


--------------------
On storing pedro tea...

Brewmaster: Well, the mescaline will still be in there, but I'd be afraid of it conjealing and trying to escape after it grew in size from eating all the other shit in my fridge, and possibly my dogs if it got out.

Pithlit: sentient drugs, now that is an idea ...

OneMoreRobot: Idea? It's a fuckin' reality. You know Salvia? Nigga stole my TV.

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: koraks]
    #6404320 -

Switch "telescope" with "rifle scope", and you'd have an idea of my plan.

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: fearfect]
    #6404328 -

apprehend him... then bring him inside, strap him to a chair and force him to watch 24 consecutive hours of Lifetime Television for Women.

:wink: :thumbup:


--------------------
Boo, you whore.

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: fearfect]
    #6404332 -

Get the keys back, and then carve yer fuckin name into his forehead. Katie's Revenge, motherfucker!


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: a2ndopinion]
    #6404336 -

a2ndopinion said:
apprehend him... then bring him inside, strap him to a chair and force him to watch 24 consecutive hours of Lifetime Television for Women.

:wink: :thumbup:


C'mon man, he just stole some DVD's. It's not like he broke into Fort fuckin' Knox or something.

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: fearfect]
    #6404337 -

I fully support this venture.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #6404451 -

beat his ass.. get back your keys.. take his keys.. take his ID.. rob his house.

:smile:

yos-

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: Yoschie99]
    #6404456 -

karmas a bitch


--------------------

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: Shroomism]
    #6404462 -

i think that's neutral karma. i mean.. he did just rob your house and steal your mail.

yos-

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: Yoschie99]
    #6404476 -

well yeah, the universe must be in balance!


--------------------

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: fearfect]
    #6404567 -

Ninja outfits are a must.

:ninja:


--------------------
LNC's official Alaskan stoner
:jackdaniels::drooling::jackdaniels:

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: fearfect]
    #6404610 -

intense. i say hold him down and get your shit back. no harm is necessary. let us know how it goes :smile:

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: fearfect]
    #6404617 -

I wouldn't do him any serious harm, but a good punch to the nose that happens to happen incidentally during the scuffle to pin him down wouldn't be out of bounds, given what they've stolen from you.

Good luck  :thumbup:


--------------------
Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.


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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: Liz]
    #6404693 -

Go medieval on his ass!  :paladin:


--------------------
Know your Body - Know your Mind - Know your Substance - Know your Source.

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: fearfect]
    #6404728 -

invest in some pepper spray. you might as well fuck the dude up when you have the chance.

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: Vvellum]
    #6404785 -

ahahahhaha dose him and force him watch "The Ring"  :shocked: while listening to Cannibal Corpse


--------------------
soft silly music is meaningful, magical :heartpump:

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Re: citizen's arrest [Re: razmablues]
    #6404794 -

Hey now let's not drag death metal through the mud here  :mad: :tongue:


--------------------
Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.


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