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I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe
    #4981610 -

It sounds crazy, but I don't have a very good connection with the feminine side of the universe. I've always known I'm a little distant from the feminine aspect of things...but I attributed that to growing up in a house of five guys and always being taught that women caused the fall of humanity. Plus, God is male, which automatically makes men superior(so I thought for a long time). Then, as I grew older, I began to kinda hate being a girl myself. You might say I grew very tomboyish and tried to avoid female stereotypes. Then I witnessed all the females around me behaving in ways that I thought were really..."weak..."

I became really keen on shows that emphasized female power, like Xena: Warrior Princess. But I hated Xena even as I religiously watched the show. I was envious of her strength, which was superior to even the God's strength (she defeated the freaking god of war). Her companion, Gabrielle, I hated for being weak. She was always needing to be protected and coddled.

There is one female archetype I OVER-identify with. It's the female who is always trying to escape oppression, to be free. It's so solidly ingrained into my head that I have this fantasy playing out over and over in my mind...all my dreams are about the struggle to "escape," to run, to survive. There is always some disaster, always some fight, always some chase that "I" have to persevere, and it's always the same fierce, relentless female archetype that engages the drama.

If a female character doesn't match that image in my head, I just lose interest.

THIS IS A PROBLEM!! And it upsets me since I want to be a well-rounded writer. I need to connect to the feminine side of the universe without shading it over in a protective, masculine haze.

Well, I'm not sure if I made any sense or of what I'm asking really, but the concise version of this post is:

I feel disconnected from the feminine side of the universe. How do I learn to see the beauty (beyond just an aesthetic appreciation) in the feminine side of things? (the "she" and the "her" of life?)

How do I learn to love it? And not be mildly repelled by it?

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: MOTH]
    #4982031 -

EllemyshShade said:
How do I learn to love it? And not be mildly repelled by it?


Love is a choice, not something you must learn.

To connect with your feminine side, the simplest way is right under your nose. YOU.

Choose to ACCEPT yourself as who you are. Make peace with your unreachable fantasy. Accept it for what it is; a dream, a wish, a very real part of the imagination.

Accept who you are... and the feminine half of the universe will open her arms to you, and give you the life she exists to give.


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.


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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: Rose]
    #4982147 -

Perhaps a new rolemodel might help.

Ever heard of Tara?

A buddhist goddess that comes in two exciting flavours:
White Tara is a personification of strong protecting femininity, and
Green Tara has all the dynamism and vigor of a young girl, always intervening and getting people out of trouble.

Then there is Alice, from the Lewis Carroll books. Young, brave, smart and certainly no tomboy.

From the greek pantheon there is Artemis huntress and protectress of the forest.

Slightly more controversial, from D.A.F. de Sade's depraved imagination, after being locked up for decades alone in a cramped cell, there are the virtuous Justine, who never stops fighting for justice even though she usually ends up being sodomised by aristocrats, bishops or bandits, and her more cunning sister Juliette who uses her sex for machiavellian machinations to gain wealth and power.

I'm sure there are other positive women from history literature and mythology to connect to.


--------------------

"You should view the world as a conspiracy run by a very closely-knit group of nearly omnipotent people, and you should think of that group as yourself and your friends."

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: MOTH]
    #4982387 -

Ellemy, I really like the way you look into yourself and confront things. :thumbup:

This warrior/survivor princess fantasy is a good one. You need to grow beyond it, but don't reject it. It has saved you to the point that you are ready for the next step. Honor it. ( I also had this fantasy on the male side :wink:)

I'm sure you can get some great advice on this. Veritas comes to mind immediately. This is one of  her specialties.

I am going to recommend a book that I think is so very powerful for work on the self and the challenges we face. Be prepared, it's a warriors challenge (that why I think you should hang on to all your warrior images right now). The book is call The Pathwork of Self-Transformation, by Eva Pierrakos . It's shadow work of a most transformational kind. Love to you. :heart:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: Icelander]
    #4982500 -

interesting thread. this may not be the best advice ever, but identifying with Xena, or any other tv-personality is not a fair comparison.

Instead of looking at Xena (or whoever) as a symbol for something, find an actual person.

edit: (besides, that show only lasted as long as it did because there was a healthy serving of huge boobs stuffed into skin-tight costumes on every episode...)


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

Edited by kotik (11/26/05 09:04 AM)

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: kotik]
    #4982783 -

Part of the reason why I love fictional characters so much is because I seldom had interaction in my life with "real" people when I was younger besides my family.  (we lived in the middle of nowhere so I entertained myself most of the time.)  We did attend church a lot though. All the women and men I saw "fit" a certain "mold" and I really didn't like what I saw...so I tended to create people in my head the opposite of them.  I kept looking for a "strong" female figure, but there wasn't any around me when I was a kid (or so I thought) ...so I created one in my head.  But there's nothing really feminine about her.  She's actually kind of a dirty monster. 

Anyway, Xena is a shitty show.  My husband and I tried to watch it the other night and couldn't finish it.  It was nice to have whenever I was trapped in my room as a teenager though.  (before parental figures removed tv from room) 

I don't really know any powerful female figures in real life to look up to.  I've always secretly admired Hilary Clinton, just because everyone hates her for some reason.  I figure she must be doing something right if most Repulibican males hate her.  She reminds me a little of Cersei Lannister, from a 'Game of Thrones,' one of my favorite books.  Cersei was a queen who betrayed her husband (the king) to create incestual children with her brother.  She and her brother are twins and are in love with one another.  THe problem is, her husband thinks that these children (the heirs to the throne) are his kids.  Martin pretty much paints Cersei as one evil bitch, but I like her anyway.  You should see the way she schemes and plots to remain in power.  She causes her husband to have an "accident" so she is free to assume his position.  In some sort of weird, twisted way, I find this both amusing and admirable. 

And then Star Trek: Voyager is packed with powerful women who aren't weak pushovers.  In fact, that's why out of all the Star Treks (well, besides TNG, of COURSE!) I like Voyager.  It has Janeway, who I admit, I didn't like in the beginning, but as the series went on she developed a more cutthroat attitude I found appealing.  I liked seeing a woman in charge, unafraid to rip some assertive alien's nuts off if the situation called for it.  Then there's Seven of Nine.  I loved her for her cold, unflinching demenor.  And Blanna Tores, the chief engineer.  I appreciated her razor-like sarcasm. 

Maybe I don't have a clear definition in my head on what is masculine

and what is feminine. 

Can anyone tell me? 

Thanks for the discussion!!  :heart:

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: MOTH]
    #4985004 -

I realize that I suggest a lot of books, but Jean Shinoda-Bolen's Goddesses in Everywoman (as well as Gods in Everyman) are incredibly useful reads. I have them both and my Lady and I have referred back to them for years. A Jungian analyst and psychiatrist, Bolen utilizes the Greek pantheon (pan=all, theon=gods) to illustrate the feminine (and masculine) archetypes of the Collective Unconscious (Objective Psyche). Using her scheme, we have a sense of which of these 'universals' go into our individual personalities; which one's are dominant and which ones we need to increase.

For example, despite some serious hourglass curves, my Lady does not identify with Aphrodite (goddess of sensual love) as much as she could (for balance), but rather, there is a lot of identification with the intellectual Athena, and a good deal of Hestia's home-body characteristics. She demonstrates some Demeter characteristics with her daughter as well. (Bolen describes all these 'deities' in detail using Jungian psychology in a very readable way).

I, for example, am primarily a Hermes-Mercury man as a 'psychopomp' (soul-guide) - a modern day psychotherapist. I can build things and thus have an element of Hephaistus (the blacksmith). I have a strong Apollonian logic, yet I can fly to ecstatic extremes with Dionysus. I have virtually no Zeus characteristics - I'm not a womanizer, nor am I interested in fathering children. I've taken a couple of martial arts, and so I have a bit of Ares-Mars in me.

Just some examples without fleshing it out fully, but you get the idea. It is a real Rx for your question!


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #4985319 -

http://marysdivinedirection.com/


i don't know if that site is at all what you're looking for but at least i tried.

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: Deviate]
    #4985952 -

Quote:
I figure she must be doing something right if most Repulibican males hate her.


im not making this political, but I am pointing out that this sort of logic could be a direct result of making up people in your mind to interact with instead of real people.

To whatever degree you used that to pass time, you should consider that as a factor in what you are using to measure up to. If you are comparing yourself with fictional personas or hollywood characters, then you are not being fair to yourself.


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: Rose]
    #4986391 -

"Love is a choice, not something you must learn"

righteous.

Its hard when people ask how to do something, because the answer is always "just do it"

which of course is 100% true and completely useless.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: MOTH]
    #4989303 -

Ellemy, I can relate to your dilemma.  I, too, found few admirable females in "real life," and turned to goddess figures on TV ("Isis," "Wonder Woman," "The Bionic Woman," and others).  But the daily lives of these superwomen had little to do with my experiences, and so there was no application for those models.  I developed a hard shell, believing that this would protect me from the oppression of women (by themselves and by others whom they gave their power away to) I witnessed every day.

My inner work led to a desire to develop the healthy feminine side of my nature, to accept that there is more strength in receptivity, acceptance, and vulnerability than defensiveness. I have found my research into mythology to be healing.  I recommend the Greek and Roman pantheons, as there are many positive female "aspects" explored in the goddess archetypes.

My real breakthroughs have been associated with Tantra practice, and invoking the divine feminine.  The female archetypes in the Hindu pantheon are powerful and positive.  Even Kali, the goddess of death and destruction, is also the Mother and protector.  Her destruction is the removal of obstacles--out with the old, in with the new.

During my divorce and the difficult years following, I wore a silver pendant which depicted Kali.  When my strength flagged, or my resolve to push forward into a new life wavered, I would ask for divine assistance in removing the obstacles I faced.  I could identify with her fierceness and devotion to her children, and model the ability to let go of the dead past.  :heart:

Check out this site for more information:

http://www.themystica.com/mystica/articles/s/shakti.html

P.S. Icelander is right, this area is one of my specialities, and I would be glad to discuss this in-depth via PM if you would like. :grin:

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: Veritas]
    #4989403 -

just connect to the story itself.
the feminine side is connected with the rest.
looking for it specifically makes it run and hide. so all you will see is its dirty feet.

intentionally, look at something else, be gentle and indirect; the furtive creatures will come to trust you better and may emerge from the woodwork.

same applies if you beigin to feel estranged from the masculine side. just get deeper into the whole story, all the characters come out naturally.


--------------------
:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: Veritas]
    #4989419 -

Thanks for referencing Kali. I remember feeling very attracted to her whenever we read about her in Philosophy class. I think something is clicking as I read more about her. I found a few links on google also that have been helpful.

"It is partly correct to say Kali is a goddess of death but She brings the death of the ego as the illusory self-centered view of reality. Nowhere in the Hindu stories is She seen killing anything but demons nor is She associated specifically with the process of human dying like the Hindu god Yama (who really is the god of death). It is true that both Kali and Shiva are said to inhabit cremation grounds and devotees often go to these places to meditate. This is not to worship death but rather it is to overcome the I-am-the-body idea by reinforcing the awareness that the body is a temporary condition. Shiva and Kali are said to inhabit these places because it is our attachment to the body that gives rise to the ego. Shiva and Kali grant liberation by removing the illusion of the ego. Thus we are the eternal I AM and not the body. This is underscored by the scene of the cremation grounds.

Of all the forms of Devi, She is the most compassionate because She provides moksha or liberation to Her children. She is the counterpart of Shiva the destroyer. They are the destroyers of unreality. The ego sees Mother Kali and trembles with fear because the ego sees in Her its own eventual demise. A person who is attached to his or her ego will not be receptive to Mother Kali and she will appear in a fearsome form. A mature soul who engages in spiritual practice to remove the illusion of the ego sees Mother Kali as very sweet, affectionate, and overflowing with incomprehensible love for Her children."

This is aside the point, but I believe I "interacted" with Kali during a powerful trip in which I experienced ego death. One of the visuals my ego remembers vividly before succumbing to panic was the image of a Hindu god/goddess. It was unreal, so I can't really explain it...but I saw that figure just as my mind was breaking down into total chaos. I could've just gave in...but instead I put up a fight, and saw this entity "Kali" change into fearsome form just like it mentions in the passage above. She was going to take me whether I went willingly or not...it was the worst agony. I did feel totally destroyed that night.

I got to build anew afterwards though.

Anyway, it's very interesting to think of how Kali might already be in my life. I think I'm going to buy a statue of her to put next to my Buddha one.

Thanks again...I may PM you later after I do more reading.

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: Moonshoe]
    #4989647 -

Moonshoe said:
Its hard when people ask how to do something, because the answer is always "just do it"

which of course is 100% true and completely useless.


Yup, that is the problem... however SOME folks are willing to break through obsticles and "Just do it".

If a human can flip a light switch, they can change their mindset just as easily.


--------------------
Fiddlesticks.


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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: MOTH]
    #4990219 -





In Tarot, the Death card does not represent death of the body, but death of that which is no longer "alive" and useful. It can also be thought of as "Change" or "Cleaning House."

Kali is a similar archetype. Her destructive energy removes that which is already dead or dying, leaving growing room for that which is alive. She prunes, she does not clear-cut.

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: Veritas]
    #4993420 -

#13 [death card] is change and sex - scorpio's exquisite sting.

the thing is you have to go around the issue to come back in again fresh. (sounds like re-incarnation?)
let it die, as it were, (let it be,) and come back on the other side with your exquisite sting.

(they say scorpio's are secretive)


--------------------
:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: redgreenvines]
    #4998261 -

Yeah, do either Green Tara mantra:
Om Tare Tutare Ture Soha
or Mahalakshmi mantra
Om Shrim Klim Mahalakshmiyei Namaha

These are good mantras.

Another is
Om Shrii Shriyei Swaha

The Green Tara is to get the grace of the timeless Bodhisattva Tara to help liberate one from calamaties. The other two are for Mahalakshmi - Goddess of Light, and the basic Glorious Goddess of life.

I also recommend that you look into the Sri Vidya tradition of India, and the Khadgamala Stotram

http://gurujiamrita.tripod.com/khagamala_stotram.htm

This guru Amritananda is pretty neat.

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: eve69]
    #5002451 -

for a long time now i've felt that masculine and feminine were completely fucked. a couple thousand years of the lowest common denominator yearnings for what the other should be. i've spent some time in the past couple years observing how women appear to want men to be (at least where i live), then i learned to mimic it. i rarely use it because its not me, its just playing on poeple's subconscious wants, which are usually pretty.. low spectrum.

i have a great love for transexual people, everyone else is so fucked up that they have to act "bizzarely" just to feel like themselves.

edit: i actually got into a relationship with a girl who was obssesed with being with archetypal men. the relationship lasted 8 months and it was rather uncomfortable. the only thing i learned is my origional opinion that levels of consciousness is what i want held true.


--------------------
You can check the last post in my journal for contact info.

Edited by truekimbo2 (12/01/05 01:19 PM)

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: MOTH]
    #5005136 -

Yo Ellems, if you want know the female side of the universe go outside and listen to the sounds of and the trees (provided you have trees). Everything you need to know is right in front of you.


--------------------
1. "After an hour I wasn't feeling anything so I decided to take another..."
2. "We were feeling pretty good so we decided to smoke a few bowls..."
3. "I had to be real quiet because my parents were asleep upstairs..."

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Re: I need help connecting to the feminine side of the universe [Re: Divided_Sky]
    #5005157 -

Hey Divided, do you really think so?

I have a Huge park I can walk through anytime I want. It's kinda wildernessy...I take my dog there just about every day.

My question is...how do you get the feminine out of the wilderness? I mean, I know HOW...I feel much more levelheaded after a walk outside in the wilderness. Why do you consider this wild energy a feminine influence?

I read somewhere that all babies in the womb are female until they "develop" into male. Is this true?

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