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omfg
    #4793553 -

A new father goes into the delivery room to see his newborn baby boy. The doctor pulls him aside and says " I have the most amazing news. Your boy can fly". The doctor sees the doubt in the fathers eyes so he offers a demonstration. He picks up the little boy, holds him high in the air and then lets go. The baby falls to the floor with a loud thump.

"You son of a bitch" says the new father, ready to kill the doctor. " Wait, something must be wrong. He flew this morning. Let me try again". He flings the boy across the room and he slams against the wall and slides down to the floor.

"Oh my god, I am going to kill you" says the father as he is running towards the baffeled doctor. "No no wait, I know what I did wrong. I promise it will work this time". He opens the window and tosses the kid out. The kid of course falls 7 stories and leaves a mess on the sidewalk below. By this time the father is choking the doctor. With his last breath the doctor says " I was just messing with you. Your son was born dead."


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Re: omfg [Re: 3six5]
    #4793554 -

A little boy was lost at a large shopping mall.

He approached a uniformed security guard and said, "I've lost my grandpa!"

The cop asked, "What's he like?"

The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big boobs."


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Re: omfg [Re: 3six5]
    #4793562 -

Leaving Minnesota for Colorado, I decide to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go in the washroom. The first stall was taken so I went in the second stall. I just sat down when I hear a voice from the next stall...

"Hi there, how is it going?"

Okay, I am not the type to strike conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road. I didn't know what to say so finally I say:

"Not bad..."

Then the voice says:

"So, what are you doing?"

I am starting to find that a bit weird, but I say:

"Well, I'm going back to Colorado..."

Then I hear the person say all flustered:

"Look I'll call you back, every time I ask you a question this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me."


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Re: omfg [Re: 3six5]
    #4793593 -

:rotfl:


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May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't.

General George S. Patton
:paranoid:

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Re: omfg [Re: 3six5]
    #4793600 -

:rofl2:


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Re: omfg [Re: 3six5]
    #4793636 -

One time when I was maybe 13 years old, my family and I were on a road trip, and as I was leaving a rest stop bathroom, I saw a plant that looked like marijuana (I had never even thought about smoking pot then, but I recognized it anyways...strange).

I asked my mom, and she said that indeed it was pot. So I convinced them to let me pick a leaf. So I picked a leaf and thought it was really cool. Then it dried and I got sad. Eventually I got home and smoked it, but since it was only one leaf, nothing happened, though I got a bit buzzed from the placebo.

Yeah.


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"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln

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Re: omfg [Re: 3six5]
    #4793669 -

There was a truck driver who was told to drive an 18 wheeler of bowling bowls over the mexico border. So he was driving and on his way he saw two black boys on the side of the road with a broken bike. He told them he would help them out and give them a lift, he told them to throw their bike in the back and hop in. Later the truck driver was pulled over by 2 cops, while one talked to the driver, the other checked out the back of the truck. The cop who was investigating the back opened the truck doors and immediaty said to his partner, "hurry, call for backup, this truck is full of nigger eggs, and 2 of them hatched and stole a bike already!!"

:wink:


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TRUMP 2020

Edited by XUL (10/12/05 06:03 PM)

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Re: omfg [Re: XUL]
    #4793681 -

:rofl:
o shit that was great


--------------------
May God have mercy upon my enemies, because i won't.

General George S. Patton
:paranoid:

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Re: omfg [Re: thegatewaydrug]
    #4793817 -

what do you call a gay guy in a wheelchair?
















































rollaids


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- - - T H E E N D - - -


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Re: omfg [Re: FL_accciD]
    #4793827 -

:grin:


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TRUMP 2020

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