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Identity Crisis
    #4658550 -

Hello all, this is my first post in the Pub and it's a much needed one. I'm in need of advice. First of all, let me give you a little background information:

Currently a college student. Started smoking marijuana around the 10th grade, during that time it was fun, enjoyable, relaxing, and could be a social events. But as the years passed, I soon became aggitated whenever I smoked. Very paranoid and troubled, especially with the people around me, I would always get paranoid and feel as though they were messing with me somehow and would freak out.

The first time I tripped on mushrooms was incredible. A life changing experience for the best. A few times in between that, some good some bad, however my last time I began to question my identity, who I was in society? Why was I that person? Did I really want to be, deep down inside? Or was I just pleasing everyone else.

I think it's a reason that I become so paranoid when I smoke, is because I care so much what people think and have trouble just letting go. I don't know what to do, this has been an issue that's been haunting me for years now. I just want to be, me. Myself. Not satisfying to anyone except my own. But I can't seem to let go of my "image."

I've turned here because the Shroomery has a lot of great people and is a great communitiy, just looking for a little advice to help me figure this out. Thanks all.  :heart:


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:peace: Shroomery :peace:


The Psychedelic Experience
| TiHKAL | PiHKAL | Erowid | MAPS |


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Re: Identity Crisis [Re: Sinistral]
    #4658554 -

/prpares answer

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Re: Identity Crisis [Re: goobler]
    #4658635 -

Well, ill be the first to say youre not alone.

I can really relate to you with the drugs, started smokin 10th grade, some good and bad trips after that. I was an athlete all throughout HS, and my first 2years of college. I started tipping senior year in hs.

It was such a struggle doing my sport. Granted i was successful, but it was depressing me. It took me 2 years of chomping the bit to realize it wasnt who i wanted to be anymore and that i was doing it for the wrong reasons. Namely my friends and family. 9years in a sport is a hard thing to let go.

You sould like and intellectual kind of guy, and lemme say this is not an easy thing to be. I think to really help you find your baseline, to figure out what you want and who you are is to hit the reset button. Dig deep, and find things from your childhood, early thoughts on life, early goals about who you wish you could be. It takes time, but it could really help to figure out what makes you You. Though, you may feel like there is noone around who's like you soon after. (again, my experience) but your much happier about being you i'd say.

Try not to turn too introverted if you can help it =/.. im battling with that myself at the moment.
Good luck buddy, you'll figure this one out. Just takes time.


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Re: Identity Crisis [Re: Sinistral]
    #4659059 -

Sinistral said:
Currently a college student. Started smoking marijuana around the 10th grade, during that time it was fun, enjoyable, relaxing, and could be a social events. But as the years passed, I soon became aggitated whenever I smoked. Very paranoid and troubled, especially with the people around me, I would always get paranoid and feel as though they were messing with me somehow and would freak out.



Pot sucks. I haven't smoked the stuff in years. It makes me paranoid and uncomfortable.

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Re: Identity Crisis [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #4659084 -

RandalFlagg said:
Pot sucks. I haven't smoked the stuff in years. It makes me paranoid and uncomfortable.


Cheers to that. I just wish the paranoia would go the hell away. I can never make it stop..


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:peace: Shroomery :peace:


The Psychedelic Experience
| TiHKAL | PiHKAL | Erowid | MAPS |


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Re: Identity Crisis [Re: Sinistral]
    #4659103 -

Pot rocks. I've smoked the stuff for years. It makes me relaxed and eases my pains.

My advice: be yourself. If you want to smoke pot, smoke pot. If it makes you paranoid around other people.. don't smoke it, or don't hang around those people. You will find that your 'image' will naturally change over time anyway.. so I wouldn't become too attached to it. Be who you want to be in your heart, if your friends cant accept that, they aren't friends.

It makes you paranoid and troubled? Sounds like you are with the wrong crowd man. I get that way too when I smoke pot around people I don't know very well and get bad vibes from, and I've been smoking constantly for about 12 years. You have options. Take a break from smoking pot. A break every once in a while is a good thing anyway. Or continue smoking pot, just not around those people, if you feel they are judging you, or whatever. Fuck all that.

Bottom of the line is do what you want to do, be who you want to be. If you want to smoke pot and eat mushrooms, smoke pot and eat mushrooms. Don't conform to other peoples standards of what they think of expect you to be. Say fuck that and be who you are. If you don't like pot, don't smoke it. Personally, I love pot, and think it is one of the most wonderful plants on the face of the Earth. 99 times out of 100 a problem with pot is actually a problem within.

You need to find yourself? Look in the woods.
Just let it flow, be like water.


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Re: Identity Crisis [Re: Sinistral]
    #4659194 -

Take a full 1-2 month break from all drugs, especially marijuana. Do fun things while sober.

You may find that all your problems go away.


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Re: Identity Crisis [Re: Jabbawaya]
    #4659200 -

Smoking pot makes me feel.

somthing

smoking pot is just my lifestyle I just dont let it get in the way of my important shit. Which i am trucken on thru.


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This is the only time I really feel alive.

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Re: Identity Crisis [Re: Jabbawaya]
    #4659230 -

Jabbawaya said:
Take a full 1-2 month break from all drugs, especially marijuana. Do fun things while sober.

You may find that all your problems go away.


:lol:

its funny cause its true...

though, i do love to smoke pot, you have to remember why life is enchanting without the aid of medicines sometime :smile:

my advice however, is completely biased!  I really have any experience with myself, and my life has been a wicked journey (still is).

Everyday I think im enjoying life to my fullest capacity, and i technically am, but every day i look back and the day previous, and get a little perspective on my actions thoughts and what have you.  You never stop growing, if you dont let yourself.  You always have room for a little perspective, if you give it to yourself. blah blah blah :heart:

SO.  CLEAR YOUR MIND!!  BE HERE NOW!!  go lay in the grass and look at the clouds or something :smile:


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Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect
GODDESSES
Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud
GODS.

~Casil



:cactus:

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Re: Identity Crisis [Re: Todcasil]
    #4659338 -

You guys rock  :rockon:


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:peace: Shroomery :peace:


The Psychedelic Experience
| TiHKAL | PiHKAL | Erowid | MAPS |


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