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InvisibleDelyrium
lemonadeh.o.n.e.y.

Registered: 12/27/99
Posts: 5,941
Loc: vermont
Friends fall in love too fast...
    #4217486 - 05/25/05 07:07 AM (12 years, 6 days ago)

ya so. this guy really likes me. he's mentioned it to me. he hates to see my bf treat me like crap and then for me to stay w/ him.

i love my boyfriend... we just have been having difficulties lately. and this other guy just sees it differently - as do my friends.

look what he wrote to me:
"you know i adore you, and for your sake i was just being a friend, but the fact that having two people in a room together, you look at one just trying to do the right thing for you, and thats where your happiness lies, then you look at the other, whose supposed to be serving that purpose and you get pissed or upset, just makes me laugh , and the feeling of high investment, i wonder if its mutual. you know i never want to tell you to do anytihng but, i kinda wish things were different, because just hearing that from you made me really happy, but kinda sad too. i just want to be good to you, whatever posistion im lucky enough to be given to do that, im satisfied with, i didnt even see any of this coming, i was content with my posistion, regardless if how big of a deuche some people are who shouldnt deserve better posistions. it makes me angry but, its your life, i just want to see you be treated how you deserve to be, despite how cheesey that sounds lol "

ack!!!!!!!! he's a great guy and adorable and my friends absolutely love him (which is important). but i just don't feel like it's the right time to leave my bf... we are going on 10 months and i *do* love him.

*sigh*


--------------------
Fuck Ted Nugent he?s a fucking jerk
I wish that he?d be gone
Chauvanistic republican
Kills animals cause he
Forgot how to write a song


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OfflineHMWR
Bum with Spliff

Registered: 05/24/05
Posts: 32
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: Delyrium]
    #4217492 - 05/25/05 07:21 AM (12 years, 6 days ago)

I think what he wrote is a shelfish attempt on his part to guilt trip you and sow doubt in your mind. He see's you as a vulnerable target.

JMHO


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OfflineRetired
Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 635
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: Delyrium]
    #4217493 - 05/25/05 07:25 AM (12 years, 6 days ago)

I say if you feel for this new guy go for it.

I just went through somthing very similar where i was the 3rd guy waiting. my best friend was the lady i was hoping to win over. she had been dating a guy for 4 years and well she was not as happy as she could have been. but becasue they have been dating for 4 years she stayed with him and dint go for me. her and i are still best friends and now she wishes she would have made the switch but 'my' window has passed and i really wish it had not.

so follow your heart but remember things dont last forever...


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InvisibleKrishna
कृष्ण,LOL
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/08/03
Posts: 23,284
Loc: oakland
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: HMWR]
    #4217495 - 05/25/05 07:25 AM (12 years, 6 days ago)

mmm i don't know you or your boyfriend, but i've seen a lot of posts from you where you don't seem really content with him. perhaps you only post those moments 'cause you are pissed and feel like venting to a (relatively) anonymous audience - perhaps you have millions of wonderful moments with him, that you just don't post here on the shroomery. but going from what i've read, i'd say you should seriously consider what you are doing with your current boyfriend... love certainly means a hell of a lot... but so does not hurting yourself!


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InvisibleLiz
Owl Lady
Female User Gallery

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Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: Delyrium]
    #4217501 - 05/25/05 07:29 AM (12 years, 6 days ago)

not to call you a liar or anything, but if you loved your boyfriend, you'd be happy with him.  You can't even talk to him about coming to the gathering because you're afraid he'll get mad and not like the idea.  That, is not love...that's a controlling, unhealthy relationship, and you deserve better.  Like Krishna said, I'm sure there's a lot I don't know, but just from the stuff you write, it sounds like you're with him because it's convenient, and you're comfortable with him.  :shrug:

Good luck in whatever you decide to do, but if this other guy will treat you how you deserve to be treated, maybe its time to consider moving on.


--------------------
Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.




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OfflineGus
Back in town.

Registered: 07/16/03
Posts: 1,503
Loc: Quebec, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: Delyrium]
    #4219006 - 05/25/05 05:38 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

You're hopeless. Sorry.
COntinue to love your bf, he makes you feel so wonderfull after all.


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OfflineStrandedVoyager
The People's Champ
Male

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Registered: 12/09/04
Posts: 3,236
Loc: (202)-456-1414 Call Me
Last seen: 9 months, 14 days
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: Gus]
    #4219096 - 05/25/05 06:03 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

Quote:

Gus said:
You're hopeless. Sorry.





I couldn't say it any better.


--------------------
Hi  :scrambled:

My god... it's full of stars...


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InvisibleHELLA_TIGHT
Madge the Smoking Vag
Female User Gallery
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Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 84,350
Loc: Afghanistan Flag
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: Delyrium]
    #4219105 - 05/25/05 06:05 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

I say go fer the new guy


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InvisibleThorA
Anti-Theist OVERLORD
Male User Gallery

Registered: 08/12/98
Posts: 9,880
Loc: Iceland Flag
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: Delyrium]
    #4219109 - 05/25/05 06:06 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

I don't know the situation well enough Del, but from experience its often the wrong person many choose for the right reasons. If that makes any sense lol  :grin:

Seriously though, 10 months is a drop in the bucket, if you are not being treated like you should, then its not right. Its not going to get better, in fact usually it will get worse.

If you find yourself explaining your relationship with "But he..." a lot, then its not a good one :wink:


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InvisibleKingOftheThing
the cool fool
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 27,389
Loc: USA
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: Delyrium]
    #4219114 - 05/25/05 06:07 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

this happens all the time to girls...like ALL the time and its because they need attention all the time..when a boyfriend starts being a dick and not appreciating the female she will turn to a male friend for that attention and spend time with the guy...this however sends a message to some guys that you want to be with them... its selfish for the guy because he sees you in this vunerable position, talks shit to you about your bf (ultimate asshole move) because he wants in your pants. when in reality if you did dump you bf and go for this new guy you would probably be in the exact same place in 10 months. its just the eb and flow of relationships, there are good times and bad. if you really think its best to stay with ur current dude, then just stay with the guy. rememeber that saying "the grass always looks greener on the otherside". basically your friend seems like a nicer guy maybe but you know it would change, relationships, sex always changes a girl guy friendship


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InvisibleRavus
Not an EggshellWalker
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/18/03
Posts: 7,991
Loc: Cave of the Patriarchs
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: Gus]
    #4219120 - 05/25/05 06:08 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

I just think she's one of those girls who falls for assholes, and when a guy is nice to her she avoids him like the plague.

Maybe just an observation, but she seems a bit crazy, like many females. At least I understand why guys will stay with an asshole girl, mainly because she's hot and he wants to get in her pants in most cases, but why do girls seem attracted to asshole guys? One of the mysteries of life.


--------------------
So long as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path but on that of another.


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InvisibleTHE KRAT BARON
one-eyed willie
 User Gallery
Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 42,326
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: Krishna]
    #4219122 - 05/25/05 06:08 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

Quote:

Krishna said:
mmm i don't know you or your boyfriend, but i've seen a lot of posts from you where you don't seem really content with him. perhaps you only post those moments 'cause you are pissed and feel like venting to a (relatively) anonymous audience - perhaps you have millions of wonderful moments with him, that you just don't post here on the shroomery. but going from what i've read, i'd say you should seriously consider what you are doing with your current boyfriend... love certainly means a hell of a lot... but so does not hurting yourself!




I couldn't have said this better myself. :thumbup: :thumbup:


--------------------
m00nshine is currently vacationing in Maui. Rumor has it he got rolled by drunken natives and is currently prostituting himself in order to pay for airfare back to the mainland but he's having trouble juggling a hairon addiction. He won't be back for a long while.


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Offlinebrowndustin
dustybuddy

Registered: 10/03/03
Posts: 2,957
Last seen: 3 years, 28 days
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: Gus]
    #4219135 - 05/25/05 06:11 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

Quote:

Gus said:
You're hopeless. Sorry.
COntinue to love your bf, he makes you feel so wonderfull after all.




Yeah, I kind of came to the.. exact same conclusion. :thumbdown:

It seems like you need to figure out what you want, and not settle with guys that you think are so incredibly fabulous. Wait a while. It seems the same thing happens over and over with you, but this is something I recognize almost all girls to do. They fall head over heals for a jackass and end up hurt a couple of months down the road.

Fortunately for my woman, I act like myself regardless if it's a couple of weeks, months, or a year. Girls need to be less stupid. I've seen my girl friends (Like, friends that are girls) do this time and time again and I just tell them "well hun, don't be stupid next time", because it's true.


--------------------
When the stress burns my brain it's like acid raindrops
maryjane is the only thing that makes the pain stop


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Invisibledr_gonz
Registered: 08/18/03
Posts: 44,645
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: browndustin]
    #4219295 - 05/25/05 06:50 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

He misspelled "douche" - I guess it's a sign you should stay with the guy who treats you like shit :rolleyes:


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InvisibleLiz
Owl Lady
Female User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 11/16/04
Posts: 6,962
Loc: Massachusetts
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: dr_gonz]
    #4219302 - 05/25/05 06:52 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

not only did he misspell douche, none of his ramblings really made any sense to me... :confused:

Maybe he was just flustered. :shrug:


--------------------
Remember, remember the fifth of November
The gunpowder treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.




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InvisibleDark_Star
jizzing skull penis
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 08/21/04
Posts: 29,519
Loc: Kratmandu
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: Ravus]
    #4219352 - 05/25/05 07:04 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

Most women are nuts, completely off their rockers... :nut:


--------------------


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InvisibleDelyrium
lemonadeh.o.n.e.y.

Registered: 12/27/99
Posts: 5,941
Loc: vermont
Re: Friends fall in love too fast... [Re: Dark_Star]
    #4220034 - 05/25/05 10:01 PM (12 years, 5 days ago)

heh thanks. well i got the chance to spend quality time w/ the man. we went to the city, went to the MoMa, made a huge dinner together, had some good sex and watched the Milan vs Liverpool game. we love each other very much but we are both extremely stubborn people.

ack... i just dont want to lead this other guy on. because i wanna be friends but i dont really need to hear him talk shit about my bf because he DOESNT know the whole story - no one really does except me. atleast my friend was like "well... ur bf seems like he's got some kinks to work out but i have a feeling that he's really great to u when u two are alone... he just needs to get his shit together".

bah!


--------------------
Fuck Ted Nugent he?s a fucking jerk
I wish that he?d be gone
Chauvanistic republican
Kills animals cause he
Forgot how to write a song


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
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