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EvolutionaryMovements
Registered: 03/06/03
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Afraid of God when I'm tripping
#4094653 - 04/25/05 09:51 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm not fully convinced a god even exists. In fact, I consider myself a skeptic. Yet I cannot (tripping or sober), bring myself to denounce the existance of god (for fear of punishment perhaps? although i think it's more than that).
I consider myself searching. When I trip, however, I sometimes get an overwhelming fear that god is displeased with me, that he is going to kill me or put me on a bad trip. I've (obviously) never died from these trips, and last trip was the first time I was able to still have a good time despite the negative thoughts. I realized that they were completely irrational, but I wasn't completely convinced. But I let it go, focused on the breath, and moved on.
I'm going to trip again, although I'll wait a while to integrate the last one. I was wondering if this happens to anybody else, how they deal with it, or prepare for it. I'm considering just letting myself "die" on the next trip. In fact, I've been considering that, but I've had some irrational fear that I could actually die. Fuck it though, I'll go through with it next time.
-------------------- /opinion .sean
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freddurgan
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Re: Afraid of God when I'm tripping [Re: entiformatie]
#4094671 - 04/25/05 10:02 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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Well, you are right when you say these fears are irrational, because they are. Let's look at some of them
1.) Will you actually die? No. No way in hell. 2.) Are you afraid of god? Are you christian? Do you even believe in Hell? I've never experienced anything like what you are talking about, but I don't have the same concept of God you do. You seem to be looking at God in a christian, humanized sort of way, where He actually watches us and takes part in our lives. I would think that a change of attitude toward God would be a good first step.
I don't -really- know what else to tell you though. Don't get God get you down Or at least face this concept of God that you fear while tripping and hash it out. It could be a rather enlightening experience for you.
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Slipknot420
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Re: Afraid of God when I'm tripping [Re: entiformatie]
#4094679 - 04/25/05 10:05 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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maybe you should start considering what it really is that makes you so afraid of God?
why do you think God is displeased with you? if there are specific reasons, then you should work in your life to try and change that, because if its coming out during a trip, its probably an issue thats lingering in your subconscious even though you dont realize it
Maybe you should also work on changing your idea of the concept of God to something beyond just an angry guy in the clouds who likes to punish people for the faults in them that he created in the first place
and if God kills you, then you will return to the eternal state of infinite love so there is no reason to fear God
i think you just need to look inside and figure out what it is about your life and your perceptions that cause you to fear the idea of God
just my opinions, really i know nothing
-------------------- *Divine Moments of Truth* "Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead "Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter
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EvolutionaryMovements
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Re: Afraid of God when I'm tripping [Re: entiformatie]
#4094684 - 04/25/05 10:07 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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that's the thing, i don't think of god at all like that.
it's just the fear that there could be a god like that, and he could punish me.
maybe i just need to grow some balls and take responsibility for my actions.
when i tried to face it last trip, my mind just kept following these weird thoughts that were completely illogical. like, i would convince myself i was safe, then i would realize that was based on some false logic, and then i would work at it, then convince myself i would die, then find another flaw in my logic. so i just started breathing and letting my body relax.
this doesn't happen to me on mushrooms though, only on acid and once on 2ci.
it's funny. i know that no tripper has ever just dropped dead. but i'm still afraid. actually, the more i type about it, the less afraid i am.
-------------------- /opinion .sean
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Slipknot420
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Re: Afraid of God when I'm tripping [Re: entiformatie]
#4094688 - 04/25/05 10:09 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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maybe its just your ego resisting losing its control
-------------------- *Divine Moments of Truth* "Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead "Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter
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EvolutionaryMovements
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Re: Afraid of God when I'm tripping [Re: entiformatie]
#4094694 - 04/25/05 10:11 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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i think that's very likely. the one time i had something kinda like ego loss, i totally lost it, and flipped out. ended up in the hospital.
and you're definitely right about fixing shit up in my life. i really need to do better in school, and i want to be a more productive person in general. but the fear i have while tripping isn't a fear of myself. it's afraid that i've made some mistake.
good point about going back to the eternal source of love though, i dig that :-)
-------------------- /opinion .sean
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Slipknot420
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Re: Afraid of God when I'm tripping [Re: entiformatie]
#4094701 - 04/25/05 10:17 AM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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i think you probably need to get to the root of that fear, cause if its affecting your trips, its probably affecting your daily life on a less noticable level
try to think about what mistake(s) you feel you made, why it is causing you so much guilt and fear, and then what you can do to fix it so that it doesnt get a hold of you it may take a while, but it will be worth it in the end, and it will help you get a better grip on your own life and spirituality
in the end, the only way to deal with a fear is to face it
-------------------- *Divine Moments of Truth* "Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon "Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead "Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter
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mecreateme
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God is in YOU. Why would he mess you up if he is in and apart of you? Unless it would be more interesting...
Loosen your hold on your ego. It is hard until you have lost it, though.
-------------------- No ONE wants to know the ultimate TRUTH, as soon as YOU find IT out, YOU want to forget IT. You are everything's way of feeling itself. Happy Schwag, everygodly!
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Adden
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Re: Afraid of God when I'm tripping [Re: entiformatie]
#4095213 - 04/25/05 01:34 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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There's nothing wrong living one's life without knowledge of the afterlife; in fact, I'd respect a person more for not falling into the trap of religion so easily. In no way am I totally denouncing it, as it works for some.
Nonetheless, I don't even think you should worry about it on your trip. In reality, you're just sitting there with drugs going around in your brain, nothing's gonna happen to you unless you do something stupid.
Submitting to ego loss and finding the root of this problem would probably solve it, or, you could just let it go.
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emptywisdom
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Re: Afraid of God when I'm tripping [Re: Adden]
#4095266 - 04/25/05 01:46 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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subjects like this are really too hot to touch, but heres a little bit. Fear goes deep. Replace fear with love, in any circumstance during a trip. It sounds too simple, I know, but it IS that simple. Fear is simply the rejection of love, and I don't care what context its in or what it's twoards. If you love you wont fear. Almost too easy, but it works like a charm, without fail. I understand if you don't belive in what you fear it's hard to love it, but if it's causeing you fear it's there for you so you better start beliveing. I'm not talking simply about god or any diety or spirit for that matter, anything that causes fear must be replaced with love, it's simple and it's the only sure-fire out. Love is blind, you can love anything, even if you find it repulsive and horrible, replace the fear with love and that will go away. Hard to explain but it's so simple.
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EvolutionaryMovements
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Re: Afraid of God when I'm tripping [Re: entiformatie]
#4095269 - 04/25/05 01:47 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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heh, thanks for the advice guys. Good advice yes. I'm going to be patient, come up on some shrooms, and see what they do for me. If this fear enters my thoughts again, I'll remember what you guys said =)
-------------------- /opinion .sean
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Great Scott
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Re: Afraid of God when I'm tripping [Re: entiformatie]
#4095357 - 04/25/05 02:08 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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3 wordz its all mind
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gdman
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Re: Afraid of God when I'm tripping [Re: entiformatie]
#4095383 - 04/25/05 02:14 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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Learn to let go, your guide is very wise.
-------------------- Got a question about a substance? Erowid might already have your answer! Have questions about the mushroom experience? The Tripper's FAQ may have your answer or someone else might have had your question before. I know up on the top you are seeing great sights, but down at the bottom we, too, should have rights. - Theodor Seuss Geisel Dr. Suess "I didn't come here to be easily understood" - Steve
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emptywisdom
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Re: Afraid of God when I'm tripping [Re: gdman]
#4095407 - 04/25/05 02:20 PM (18 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
gdman said: Learn to let go, your guide is very wise.
hah! if you can get to that point notions of fear and love go out the window. This is ideal, but it takes practice.
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